PS. Pardon for mistakes or misspelled words. Italics are for inside thoughts and flashbacks. 

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V

“There you are!” Tiffany got excited seeing the COO inside of one of the conference rooms, holding a cup of what Tiffany guessed was a coffee or tea. “I’ve kept looking at you, since this morning. I have something to consult you regarding one of our products campaign.” She put the folder and her bag on the table, tying her hair up.

Taeyeon simply threw her friend a look before staring out of the window again, sipping her drink silently.

“And oh, by the way, I’m going to Tokyo with Yuri this Friday for a global marketing seminar, then I’ll fly directly to the US. I need to visit San Francisco at least.” Tiffany said, getting the tablet from her bag to show the strategy that she and her team formulated to promote E&P’s product and to reach potential customers in different places.

“Hmm.”

“And Yuri might spend days in Tokyo. I think for 2 days or more before coming back here. The big kid wants to go Disney.”

“Okay.”

While still swiping the screen, Tiffany noticed the mood. She frowned, moving closer.

“Hey, why you seemed dejected?” Tiffany put the tablet down, pulling a chair to sit. “What’s the problem?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t lie. I know that face very well.” She crossed her legs, propping her chin to her hand. “You’re sulking. Have you seen your face today? Your expression was exactly that time when we’re still in University and you found out that the very first girl you’ve been courting for months is dating your senior.”

Taeyeon rolled her eyes. “Geez, don’t remind me of that past, Ms. Hwang.”

Then Tiffany’s brows up, silently urging her to speak. The woman mentally sending a message, as if saying, ‘then tell me what the heck is the problem!’. Like how Tiffany knows her very well, she also could tell how her best friend thinks. She’s one of the few people that Taeyeon trusted. Tiffany knew her inside out, even her insecurities and self-consciousness that people don’t know she has. People often joked before that she and Tiffany were so close, they were like twins born with different parents. They never apart except when the latter returned to the US.

Taeyeon heaved a sigh, also pulling a chair to sit. “I think Jessica’s avoiding me.”

“What?”

“Jessica’s avoiding me.” She repeated, the annoyance and frustration laced behind her voice. “She didn’t reply to all my messages, even when I inviting her again to hang out. She kept refusing, saying she’s been busy.”

“Uhm, maybe she’s really busy?”

“But she didn’t reject Daniel’s invitation to Noraebang with his team!”

Tiffany held Taeyeon’s wrist briskly. “Wait. Daniel? As in Daniel Henney of the Legal Department? Really? Omg! He’s interested in Jessica? For real?! Oh my, oh my… H-He’s so gorgeous, bad-boy charm, but well with a lot of charisma!” Tiffany said excitedly, fanning her face with her hand. “The guy was so hot! Did you see his abs last summer? I was so ready to stare out at him for hours. He’s been so aloof with others all this time but look he—.”

“Tiff…” Taeyeon’s sternly voice cut her fangirling.

“Oh. Sorry.”

“See? Even you can lose your mind when it comes to Daniel.”

“No, that’s not true, Taeyeon. I’m your best friend, I’m always on your side.” She paused, biting her lower lip while smiling hesitantly. “But hey…you can’t blame me, it’s Daniel.”

Taeyeon rolled her eyes for the second time.

“Okay.” Tiffany clapped her hands. “Let’s back on the subject, why’d you think Jessica’s avoiding you anyway? The last time I checked, she and you were in a disgusting lovey-dovey stage of your so-called ‘friendly’ relationship.” She stared out. “Now, it changed? Wow. That’s fast.”

“Tiff.”

“Okay. Fine. Let’s talk.” She raised her hands. “What happened, have you two fought or something?”

“Nope.” She shook her head. Taeyeon saw Tiffany crooked her brows up. She couldn’t help but whine to her best friend. “Fany-ah~”

“Taeyeon, I’m all ears.”

Taeyeon pouted, feeling her cheeks flushed. She breathed out, talking reluctantly. “It’s because… I-I r-read her poems.”

“Poems?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. You read her poems. Did you write that?”

She shook her head. “No. Of course not. I just got them… from books.”

“Okay, you read her poems straight from the book. So?”

Taeyeon stayed looking at.

“Oh, c’mon, Taetae,” Tiffany grumbled in annoyance. “Why would Jessica avoid you if you only read her poems? I’m sure the woman doesn’t have metrophobia or anything to just hate you because of that simple reason. ‘Coz you know, that’s .” 

“I…” She trailed off, conflicting if she should tell Tiffany. She decided she should at least when her best friend is ready to listen. Taeyeon spoke softly, but enough for Tiffany to hear. “I-I told her, I love her.”

Tiffany froze, looking at her for seconds as if she’s searching an invisible thing over her face. Taeyeon became uncomfortable under her best friend’s stare.

“T-Tiff…”

“OMG.” Tiffany’s eyes grew big. “Taetae, you’ve grown up!”

“Shut up.”

“I’m serious, Tae. After so many years? You finally found that girl that you’ll ever say those words to. I couldn’t be more proud of you.” She tried to reach Taeyeon’s head to pat.

“Aish!” She swatted Tiffany’s hand away. “But I couldn’t comprehend the way she reacted. She just… walked away. And, now, does she still know I even exist?” She was frustrated.

“Taeyeon, hearing an ‘I love you’ from someone can trap anyone emotionally. I think Jessica is just sorting out her feelings. You said you two are friends, right? It’s not that easy to shift those emotions all of a sudden. Give her time, will you?” Tiffany’s face became thoughtful, squeezing Taeyeon’s hand.

Taeyeon stared out, thinking. “Sure.”

Unfortunately, she felt, Tiffany’s advice just made it more difficult for her.

----

Jessica’s fingers froze over the toilet cubicle’s lock hearing two people hushing, talking inside the restroom. Her heart pound nervously, the women outside mentioning Taeyeon’s name.

“Hey, hey did you hear Kim Taeyeon is dating the CD?”

“What?”

“That she’s dating the CD.”

“CD?”

“Creative Director…”

“Ow… You mean, our CD? As in Ms. Jessica Jung?”

“Shh…” The woman shushed. “Well, do you think it’s real?”

“Where that came from anyway?”

“That’s what people been talking about lately. Other staff kept seeing them hanging out on weekends and the CD has seen riding the COO’s car from time to time. I’m amazed you’re not updated.”

“I’m not one to gossip, unlike you.”

“Yah!” The woman nudged. She paused, asking again. “So, do you think they’re dating?”

“Hmm… probably? Who knows?” A paused. “And it’s Kim Taeyeon. It’s not as if her being gay is a secret to anyone. Why are you so curious?”

“No, it’s not that… I mean, I’m shocked that the CD will date Ms. Kim.” The woman chuckled. “It’s such a waste, she’s too beautiful to be gay.”

“Nah… you’re just begrudging because she can get all the guys’ attention even our snob COO.”

“Of course not! It’s just that I was so sure back then that she’s straight. Look at how she can easily attract guys? She can seduce them unknowingly, so why the COO?”

A laughed. “What do you know about Jessica Jung?”

“Well, at least, I have an idea of what she is. Did I tell you that a friend of mine knows her? Jessica Jung was their CD before.” A smirked. “Hey, do you want to know why the CD resigned from her previous company?”

Jessica's eyes grew big, her hands trembled and her knees want to give up. She closed her eyes silently praying that people outside should just stop talking. People are always like this. Enjoying talking about others’ lives implode right in front of them.

“Why?”

“Oh? Suddenly you’re interested? I thought you’re not one to gossip?”

“If it’s about Jessica Jung I can give exemptions. So, shoot...”

‘No! Please!’ Jessica’s mind was shouting out for them to leave that past of herself alone. She doesn’t want people to ever talk about her again, to lay their judgment about her, to feel they’re in control of her life and ignore her value and worth. What’s so good about it anyway?

A giggled. “Okay. My friend said, there was a rumor in their company before that Jessi—.”

“Hey! You two how long will you keep staying here? Do you know it’s rude to keep people waiting? We’re outside already!”

“Oh? We thought you’re the one who’s inside the cubicle?”

“Huh?! I got out first when both of you still doing your business.”

The other two looking at each other as panic crawling up to their throats. They did not intend to let other people hear what their conversation about. The women hastily picked up their belongings on the counter, pulling their friend outside of the restroom.

Jessica didn’t exactly know how she got back to Sooyoung who was studying the sketches on the table. Her body still felt weightless as she was standing in front of her friend. Sooyoung noticed her, eyebrows pulled together, worrying.

“Jess? What’s wrong?” She tilted her head.

Jessica didn’t know. She couldn’t focus anymore. She felt her inside had broken down again into tiny little pieces, but no one is there to pick those pieces up for her.  

----

Taeyeon stayed seated in her car, outside the company’s building. She took a leave from work that day and supposed to rest at home but she couldn’t feel at ease that Jessica still kept avoiding her for weeks now. She made up her mind to confront her, and have waited till the office hours ended. Though the woman already accepted some of her calls and messages, the replies still quite a bit bothering her. It was far from what they have used to do. Eventually, Taeyeon thought to take the first step. It’s time to at least talk Jessica what happened. The more it takes longer, the more she felt the big gap appearing inside her heart.

Minutes of waiting and Jessica finally emerged from the building with the designer, Choi Sooyoung. She watched them talked and laughed a bit while walking until they both bid goodbye. Taeyeon stepped out of her car immediately, scrunching up her face a bit when the cold winds softly blew that night. Taeyeon walked quickly to catch Jessica before the latter gets in her car.

“Jess…”

Jessica’s shoulders turned stiff. Her hand froze on the door’s handle. She heaved a sigh, turning on her shoulder to face Taeyeon. “H-Hi, Taeyeon I thought you’re on leave to—.” She paused, noticing the COO only wears a cardigan. She looked up at Taeyeon’s face, wanting to nag but at the same time, she felt worried about her. “It’s cold today, why you’re—.”

“Let’s talk.” Taeyeon frowned, slowly, walking towards her. Jessica’s heart pounded. She didn’t try to meet Taeyeon’s eyes, feeling suddenly nervous.

“We have to talk about why you’re avoiding me on purpose these past few weeks.”

Jessica bit her lower lip. She was thinking to deny everything. “No. I’m not.”

“You are.”

“I told you I’ve just got so busy these days with the impending fashion week. We had a brainstorming session; we’re busy planning digital programs. I need to bounce new concepts. Of all people, you should know about it.”

There was silence between them. Jessica’s coat flew; their hair was fluttering, as a gust of wind blew past them. Jessica has urged to hug herself. ‘It’s so cold.’

“If you saw me going out with others, Taeyeon it was just about office stuff. And nothing else.”

Taeyeon stayed silent for seconds.

She grumbled, grabbing Taeyeon’s arm. “Tae, listen, it’s not the time to talk about it. It’s very cold today. And you’re just wearing a—.”

“What happened to us, Jessica?”

Jessica’s hand slid down, hearing Taeyeon’s voice turned soft. Her heart clenched. She also missed Taeyeon so much, if she would ask herself too. “Tae…”