The first time I saw her, she was just a pretty face and nothing more.  I had thought “Wow, she’s quite pretty, and studious,” since she had brought her study materials.  I had greeted her at the door since I was working at the register.  My manager was being quite nice, and it felt good that he could trust me since I felt I still hadn’t learn how to do the other jobs well enough. In fact that day was supposed to be my last day of training, but it wasn’t so.  Being in that we were understaffed, or that I was messing up the tabs, I was told to wait tables and one of the other workers who knew the menu would take over at the register.  It was my first time working as a waiter, well meaning that this time I had no other coworker supervising.

My coworker said, while giving me a pat in the back, “At least this is the closing shift, there won’t be too many customers around this time.”

I nodded, “How badly could I do?”  It turned out that I could do pretty badly.

Of the tables I was assigned to one was the pretty and studious girl’s table.  “My lucky day” I thought to myself.

All I had to do was give her the menu and take her order.  As simple as that was my clumsy self came through and messed up her order.  I still remember her order was goguma pie, not apple pie.  The girl wasn’t mean, but her annoyance with me was evident.

When she left I still didn’t know her name, but it didn’t matter because the way I had been she probably wouldn’t be interested in me.

When I arrived to my school dorm, I was still thinking of the girl I had seen earlier and then suddenly I realized something utterly horrible and embarrassing.  She had come into the restaurant when I was still at the register!

“Ugh, Luhan.” I said sighing and let myself just fall onto my bed looking up at the ceiling.  At the register, and as a joke I had typed pretty girl.  My breathing becoming uncomfortably fast I told myself that she probably wouldn’t suspect it was me, then again it was really a compliment, and who really looks at their receipts.  Right?

The next day, before going to work, I thought about it a lot.  By it I mean the case in which that girl did read what the receipt said.  I was a lot calmer, and how worried I had been just yesterday seemed trivial.  I was really over thinking a simple silly thing.  Walking to work, the simple, silly thing became important and serious.  My feelings were a combination of embarrassment, uneasiness, and confidence that I hadn’t done nothing wrong.

Going in, I couldn’t help looking around, and when I didn’t see her instead of feeling relieved I felt a bit disappointed.  I didn’t know, was it because I didn’t see her, or because I had really spent so much time over something that she probably hadn’t thought about.  Still for the rest of my shift, of which I was working as a waiter, I felt compelled to keep looking for her, just in case.

She came in with a couple of friends, looking uninterested, but her expression changed quickly and from the table which I was delivering plates to she look to be smiling widely.  I must have smiled at that moment as well because one of the ladies said “Young boy you have a beautiful smile.” And gave me a knowing look.  I went away with a small smile and a bit annoyed, “Ha, as if she knew” I thought to myself.  Unfortunately that lead to my next thoughts of perhaps being oblivious and too obvious, “had she noticed as well?”

Her table was given to another coworker, and once again I felt that feeling, was it disappointment or relief?  I decided not to think too much about it.

When my shift was finally over, I went home thinking about her again, but much more relaxed this time.

The next couple of days I didn’t see her, and on the third day that she was absent I built up my courage and asked my boss if perhaps she had come in in the morning with the excuse that I had been wanting to apologize for messing up her order the other day.  He said no, and conveniently, but also embarrassingly so, asked the rest of the staff.  I did learn though that she hadn’t come in, and that while she wasn’t considered a regular, or daily customer she did frequent the café.