Dear Jeongmin,
        Tonight we finally stopped merely discussing the idea of hanging out, and finally did see each other again. I was ecstatic, and nervous as if we were still children; I felt queasy until the moment I saw you, and then it was like everything had fallen into place. My stomach was no longer bothering me, the headache that had been threatening to swoop in disappeared entirely, and my heart was leaping with joy. It wasn’t love, but it definitely felt similar to how I’d imagine love would. 
          We went to one of your favourite places to eat, and even though I hate that food and had been unable to eat all week due to stress, I sat through your meal and nibbled at my own because I was happy simply to be in your presence. We carried on a playful banter for hours and hours, and nothing felt awkward. It was refreshing; I hadn’t had to stumble awkwardly through this like I’ve had to with so many others. The only time I felt my stomach fall again was when the topic of love was brought up. Neither of us had ever been in love, but part of me hoped that it would blossom between us; however, you made it clear that you had no intentions of dating, because it was a mess you didn’t want to deal with. If you didn’t want to date, how would you describe what tonight was? I hope I can change your mind, even if not for myself. 
         Nothing screams “you’re bad for me” like taking me to trespass in the middle of the night. I don’t take risks at all, but tonight ended up being the best night I’ve had in years. We talked and made excuses to touch each other lightly - me grabbing your arm in exaggerated fear, you grabbing my hand to get me to stop playfully hitting you - and lingered just a little too long. The easy flow of conversation, the purposeful touches, and endless laughter have been ingrained into both my mind and body. 
          I made an excuse to take pictures of you before we parted, and every time I’ve looked at them, my face has immediately pushed itself into a smile. I don’t think I’m going to forget this night. 

Love,
Hyunseong