Jackson was always very smart, calculating. But not in a maleficent way, he just had a habit of over analysing everything. Which is why it concerned Mark that his friend hadn't figured out Mark's feelings yet. He wondered if Jackson knew but pretended he didn't for the sake of their friendship. Mark continued to loose himself in his thoughts, not realising Jinyoung approaching him.                                                  

"Anyone who saw you right now would think you're trying to solve the problem to cancer"  Jinyoung shook his friends shoulder. "Ya, what are you thinking so deeply about". Mark looked him, rolling his eyes . "Nothing, also I'm older than you, who are you calling ya".  

 "Is it about Jackson?" Jinyoung asked, ignoring Marks obvious annoyance.  Jinyoung was the only one of their tight group that knew about Mark' s feelings.

"Yes"  Mark solemnly said as he took a sip from his drink. " I can't seem to take him off my mind these days" He heard Jinyoung chuckle.

"Isn't it obvious to you by now, this isn't just randome confused feelings you're having, you're in love". Whether it was love or not Mark knew that he didn't have any ordinary feelings for Jackson. Their relationship was more than platonic, and it killed him not be able to speak to Jackson about it. He didn't know when he had started feeling this way. But he realised that at some point in his life he started to enjoy every touch he could salvage from his friend, he loved how touchy Jackson was, how he would sneak into his room at night because he couldn't sleep alone, he liked how close they were. Physically close. For a long time, Mark kept those feelings hidden, even from himself, locked somewhere in the dark corner of his mind. Now they've resurfaced. And he didn't know what to do.      

  "What do you suggest I do" ? Mark looked expectantly at his friend. Before he had a chance to speak, he was interrupted by a very agrivated Youngjae followed by Yugyoem who didn't look so pleased.  Youngjae sat down besides Mark and glared at the youngest. "What's the matter with you two" Mark asked confused. "Yugyeom here decided to decided to spill coffee all over my song lyrics and now it's ruined,  I mean he doesn't even drink coffee". Yugyoem hid his face behind his ragged blondish hair giggling to himself. "I said I was sorry hyung, can you stop bringing it up" Youngjae swore, reaching across the table to wack Yugyeom. He was stopped by Jinyoung.  Jinyoung may be like a mother and the most approachable of them all but he was stern when he wanted to. "Cut it out guys, it's Sunday morning, no one wants to see you tear each other up". The boys continued to talk, Youngjae still sending death glares to Yugyeom.    

As the day progressed, the boys gathered at Jaebum and Jinyoung's shared apartment. The boys all lived with each other, Mark and Jackson, Jaebum and Jinyoung which was given as they were in a relationship and poor Youngjae, who had the unfortunate luck of sharing an apartment with the medllesome twins of destruction, Bambam and Yugyeom.Every so often, Youngjae would camp out at Mark and Jackson's when he couldn't take it anymore. 

They were currently all with the exception of Jackson sitting around watching another movie after the first one was proven too scary for Bambam. Mark sat in bewteeen still furious Youngjae and fearless Yugyeom incase they jump at each other again  like caged animals. He never knows when to stop.Mark kep thinking about where Jackson could be at this time. A though escaped at the back his mind, "probably at some club, grinding on some trashy ".Instantly, he felt guilty. He hated himself for being so jealous of nothing. He constantly had to remind himself that Jackson wasn't his and that he had no right to be jealous. 

It then occured to him that he could be at her house. The girl he watched as Jackson chased her so many months. Mark felt his stomach turn, a flicker of pain crossing his face. At that moment, Jackson entered the room.

"You're finally here" Jaebum noted. He was too busy embracing a red faced Jinyoung who sat on his lap to look up at Jackson. Jackson mumbled something about "starting the movie without me". He motioned for Yugyeom to move before sinking next to Mark in the awfully crowded sofa. "Where have you been?" Mark whispered. Jackson sat still for a moment. He reached to grab Mark's hands and interwined his fingers with Mark's. It was then Mark knew something was wrong. Jackson was seeking comfort. 

"I would rather not talk about it" He whispered back and stared right ahead at the movie. 

Th ride home was unbearably quite, but Mark was too scared to ask what was wrong. He feared for Jackson. They arrived at their apartment. Mark remained silent as he fiddled with the keys. The lights in the hallway had blown out recently and all the keys felt the same to Mark. Jackson sighed as he plucked the keys from Mark's hands, their fingers breifly brushing. With one swift movement, Jackson put the right keys in and opened the door.

"Show off" Mark mumbled. Slightly pleased with himself Jackson took off to his room. Mark didn't hear a sound from Jackson as he got ready for bed. Eventually, he went to his room too, thinking Jackson would come and find him if he needed anything. Moments later, his door creaked open and there stood jackson in his boxers carrying his pillow. It took all of his control not blush and hide under the  covers. Gosh i really need to get it together Mark thought. 

Mark knew this scene too well. He moved to make a room for jackson and noodded. Jackson hurried over and slumped next him.

There was a comfortable silence. 

"She really did have someone else" Jackson spoke. He felt greatful for how Mark never forced anything out of him. He waited and listened. That was all Jackson needed. Mark turned to face the other side, his heart breaking at Jackson's saddnes in his voice. Jackson followed, facing Mark's . He lifted his hand and started trailing aimless words and pictures on Mark's back. Mark shivered. If only he knew the effects he had on me. 

"Who is he?" 

"I don't know but he seemed like someone worth loving". Jackson's deep hoars voice sounded almost as if it was going to break. 

"And you think you're not worth loving" Mark felt frustrated that he couldn't be the one to embrace him and remind him every day that every part of him was worth loving. 

"I don't know, all I know was that I was too late". 

"Maybe it was for the best", Mark said quitely. 

They fell back into their silence. Mark could still feel Jackson's fingers lingering on his backside, as he fell asleep.