Notes

thank you guys for reading! I stopped editing this like halfway through because its

like 1am im soRRy 

We don't talk anymore by Charlie Puth

we don't talk anymore
We don't talk anymore, like we used to do

When Jisoo was younger he never thought he'd fall in love. He always told himself that love was just something people felt for a short while and then soon the feeling would flicker and burn out. Jisoo had never been more wrong.

Falling in love your senior year of High School was dangerous for obvious reasons. It was stupid and careless. There were slim chances the both of you would go to the same collages, or even colleges in the same area. Although Jisoo graduated at the top of his class, he left High School feeling as if he belonged at the bottom.

Jisoo fell in love with a boy at the beginning of senior year. Yoon Jeonghan. He was… Amazing. And the strange thing was that he had known Jeonghan for three years, they shared the same friend group and even had some classes together throughout High School. Jisoo thought Jeonghan was attractive when he had long hair during sophomore year, and then when he dyed it blonde during junior year. Yet since they weren't good enough friends to hang out over the summer, Jisoo didn't see him for almost three months. (Jisoo didn't really hang out with a lot of people over summer due to him having an almost full time job)

It was the second day of senior year and it was around lunch time when Jisoo saw Jeonghan. Their friends all stood by the back doors to the parking lot, waiting for the few of their friends that had cars to show up and take them all to lunch (and Jisoo happened to be one of those friends who had a car).

Jisoo walked down the stairs to the back door, twirling his lanyard around his fingers and smiling at his friends who all cheered and clapped dramatically. Jisoo rolled his eyes but couldnt stop the grin. He had missed his friends a lot.

“I better be getting gas money this year” he teased.

That's when he saw him. Jisoo almost didn't recognize Jeonghan with short black hair. The older boy didn't look as feminine as he did all the previous years Jisoo had known him. He looked… handsome. Maybe that was why he was never attracted to Jeonghan before, he was gay so feminine guys weren't really his thing.

He only noticed he was staring when Jeonghan gave a shy laugh before asking Jisoo if he could come with for lunch.

“Y- yeah! Yeah! That's fine c’mon. I have three more seats for whoever gets to my car first I guess.”

That got Soonyoung, Junhui, Jihoon and Seokmin racing to the parking lot. Jisoo and Jeonghan walked behind the group of frantically panicked boys.

“I like your hair” Jisoo smiled, examining Jeonghan a little closer.

Jeonghan looked up from his feet and smiled brightly “really? Thank you. I like yours too, pink is a nice color” he teased.

“I lost a bet with a coworker, but if you like it then I might keep it” Jisoo winked and bumped Jeonghan’s shoulder with his own.

Jeonghan laughed, melting Jisoo’s heart. That was when Jisoo knew he was so ing whipped.

We don't love anymore
What was all of it for?

Jeonghan had been a huge impact on Jisoo’s life, some saw it was a negative impact but Jisoo would have never agreed.

His friends had given Jeonghan the nickname of ‘Harley’ as in Harley Quinn due to his sassy carefree attitude (Jeonghan didn’t mind the nickname when he found out. Shocker) . The two were opposites and thats something everyone beside the love birds agreed on. Jeonghan was laid back, always doing things on a whim and managing to sober up and get his work done by monday.

Jisoo had to constantly stay on top of his responsibilities or else he’d get overwhelmed and fall behind. Yet that didn't mean he always did. Jeonghan distracted him a lot, although Jisoo really didn't mind. He loved doing wild things with his baby.  

It had been almost three months into them dating, and homecoming had came out of nowhere. Jisoo had wanted to go, but Jeonghan had proposed a much better idea. They didn't go and instead rented a hotel room. And if you think that the idea alone didn't make Jisoo nervous as hell you’re so wrong.

It turned out to be one of the best nights of Jisoo’s life. The way he held Jeonghan against the fresh hotel sheets, the smiles and awkward laughter that filled the room. Jisoo had known Jeonghan wasn't a , and that had really intimidated him but Jeonghan didn't care that Jisoo was a . The pace was slow and gentle, yet Jisoo had felt amazing and so had Jeonghan. Jisoo remember the way Jeonghan told him he was in love with tears in the corners of his eyes. Jisoo also remembers actually crying when he said it back. He thought everything would work out because… Well, didn't love usually work out? Jisoo didn't he was wrong back then. He only knew how amazing it felt to be young and in love with someone.

I just heard you found the one you've been looking
You've been looking for
I wish I would have known that wasn't me

Everything Jisoo thought about falling in love senior year was wrong. It wasn't the graduating or colleges that ruined it. It was just the fact that Jisoo just couldn't keep up (or thats what Jisoo had told himself).

After dating for a year and a half, Jeonghan told Jisoo they had to breakup without an explanation Jisoo had fallen into this sort of depressed like state for a while. Unlike he was planning, took a year off before going to college.

Also unlike he had planned, started the new semester at Seoul Community College. The one majority of his friends were attending, and Jisoo just didn't want to be alone again.

The first day of classes was hectic, trying to find classrooms and making sure he got all of his syllabuses. By the end of the day he was glad to accept Sooyoung's offer to go out for drinks. He didn't even mind how suspicious the younger was acting, he just wanted to get waisted.

Jisoo wished he would have questioned Soonyoung, because of course he just needed to top off his awful day. As soon as they entered the bar, a familiar laugh rang through his ears. Jeonghan. Jisoo’s legs went numb and if it wasn't for Soonyoung he would have probably passed out.

“What is he doing he-” Jisoo didn't finish the question because he watched Jeonghan lean up and push his lips against an unfamiliar face.

“Jisoo I'm sorry I thought they weren't coming I swear I'm so sorry”

Jisoo couldn't stop staring, not when Jeonghan looked up and met his eyes. Jeonghan physically flinched, taken back by Jisoo’s expression.

Jisoo snapped out of it, pitty and anger mixing into a strong desire to drink until he passed out. The lanky male sat down at the booth along with a bunch of his other High School friends.

“Jisoo! Man how's it going?” Junhui asked, his arm wrapped around a brown haired boy with big eyes and a cute smile. Looks like everyone's happy.

“I'm fine.” he said politely, ordering a few strong drinks. The order that came out of Jisoo’s mouth shocked everyone around him. To their knowledge, Jisoo had never been a drinker.

They all talked, Jeonghan and Jisoo staying fairly quiet. Jisoo had already decided in the five minutes he had been sitting down that Jeonghan’s new boyfriend was an .

Jisoo downed his drinks when they arrived, quickly absorbing the alcohol into his system. It made everything hurt a little less. Yet Jisoo wasn't the nicest person when he was drunk.

“So Jisoo, why did you take a year off? Wanted to wait until us juniors could be in collage with you?” Jun asked, a cocky smile on his face.

“No” Jisoo laughed “actually, I got diagnosed with depression and my doctor said I shouldn't go to school until I was better” the venom in his voice was intense, his eyes meeting Jeonghan's who in response quickly looked down at his drink.

Jeonghan's boyfriend broke the tension filled air.

“I took a year off too, well two years off” he said, finishing his glass “partied a little, I even got arrested in America, but that's another story”

Everyone laughed but Jisoo. He was drunk enough to have thrown away his filter. So he wanted to leave before he started anything.

“I'm going to go, have a good night you guys” he turned to Jeonghan and leaned on to the table in front of the boy “glad you finally found your joker” before he turned and left.

Jeonghan's face went red as Jisoo drunkenly told him he was ‘glad’ for him.

He'd be lying if he said seeing Jisoo didnt make him regret leaving him. He regretted everything around that time in his life. During the last month of Jisoo and his relationship Jeonghan found himself really letting himself go. Of course he would get his together infront of Jisoo because he knew how worried his boyfriend would have been.

Jeonghan feels guilty every day for not telling Jisoo he cheated on him. Everyday he wakes up in Seungcheol's bed he thinks of Jisoo. He wondered if Jisoo thought the break up was his fault, that he had done something wrong to make Jeonghan leave.

If it hadn't been for Seungheol manipulating him, Jeonghan never would have left Jisoo. Are you kidding? Why would anyone leave a boy that made you feel like a queen among peasants. Someone who looked at you as if you where their life line and did anything they could to keep you happy… and Jisoo was that kind of person.

Seungcheol on the other hand just wasn't. He treated Jeonghan like a disposable body sometimes. It was always, “nice Babe” or “damn you look y”. It was never “you're beautiful” nor “you're important to me”.

Jeonghan stood up as Jisoo exited the bar, his arm being grabbed by his drink boyfriend.

“Where do you think you're going?” Seungcheol slurred, his face a mixture of confusion and frustration.

Jeonghan pulled his arm away and left without an answer.

Cause even after all this time I still wonder
Why I can't move on

Jisoo stumbled against the side of the bar, using the sleeves of his sweater to cover his palms and push them against his eyes, trying to not audibly sob.

Jisoo wasn't dumb, he knew when Jeonghan was upset because during the year of their relationship became a pro at reading Yoon Jeonghan, and he knew he wasn't happy. Yet that didn't make Jisoo any less mad and confused.

Jisoo was also weak, always caving into things he desired; he'd take Jeonghan back in a instant. The pink haired man heard the jingle of the bar door being opened and expected it to be Soonyoung coming to comfort him.

“I just want to pity myself right now Soonyoung” Jisoo whined, still covering his eyes.

“That's not like you”

Jisoo yanked his hands away from his face to see Jeonghan leaning against the building, their shoulders pressed together. Jisoo didn't speak because he didn't know what to say really.

“You're waisted let me drive you home” Jeonghan spoke, hoping Jisoo wok don't reject his offer.

Jisoo, still not trusting himself to speak, simply nodded his head and began walking to his car. The peach haired boy handed over his keys and both of them got in.

For a small moment Jeonghan just sat their, looking at Jisoo (who at all costs avoided looking back). Eventually, he started the car and backed out of the parking lot.

“You still live at Legends?” Jeonghan whispered, stopping at the intersection.

“Yeah” his voice was quiet so he cleared his throat before repeating “Yeah”

Jeonghan smiled and nodded, starting to drive to Jisoo’s apartment. It was akward beyond belief and both boys could feel the tension.

When the car stopped infront of Jisoo’s apartment building Jisoo undid his seatbelt and looked over at Jeonghan. It might have been the alcohol but Jisoo couldn't stop the words from leaving his mouth.

“I miss you” he said, his voice was soaked with pain and exhaustion. Jeonghan physically tensed and looked down into his lap.

‘God give the the power’ Jeonghan repeated over and over inside his head.

Jisoo reached out, taking Jeonghan’s hand in his own and hanging his head.

“Whatever I did to make you leave Jeonghan” his voice broke “I'm sorry”

Jeonghan really couldn't take it anymore. He lifted his head, his free hand pulling up Jisoo’s face and he closed the distance between them. He was doing it again. He was cheating on someone. The moment he was about to pull away, Jisoo leaned in, a desperate noise into Jeonghan's mouth and he just couldnt.

After a couple of seconds just moving their lips together Jisoo pulled away and got out of the car. Jeonghan did the same, letting Jisoo take his hand and pull him up the stairs. The door was unlocked in seconds and Jeonghan's back was against the wall in half that time.

Jisoo’s lips were back against his own, moving in a fimiliar way that made Jeonghan’s heart flutter, letting out a mumbled sigh in which Jisoo took the opportunity to slide his tongue into the mess.

Before he knew it, it wasn't a wall that was behind his back but a mattress. His fingers tangled through the pink hair of the boy on tip of him, who had pushed Jeonghan’s head to the side in order to access his neck.

Jeonghan moaned, pulling at Jisoo’s hair.

“J- Joshua~” the older moaned, using Jisoo’s birth name which he used a lot when they had been dating. The name seemed to set Jisoo off, pulling Jeonghan’s off a little roughly and then following with his own shirt.

Jisoo slowed down, his eyes wondering over Jeonghan’s torso, his fingertips brushing lightly over the pale skin.

“You're so beautiful”

Jeonghan met Jisoo’s eyes, his own stung with the threat of tears. He couldn't believe he had ever done something so awful. Jeonghan didn't deserve Jisoo… But he knew he didn't deserve to be with a guy like Seungcheol either.

“I'm so sorry…” He breathed out, cupping jisoo’s face and pulling him into a kiss. Jeonghan knew he shouldn't be doing this.

“Jeonghan”

“Hm..?”

“Leave him”

Jeonghan’s eyes widened and he inhaled sharply. There it was. The one thing Jeonghan had been afraid of doing for months.

“Jisoo, I don't think you understand…”

“You're right I don't understand. I have no idea what kind of person he is to you, or how he treats you. I don't know the reasons you love him or why you're with him. But what I do understand is there will never be anyone else in this world I could love more than you. So yes, I'm being one hundred percent selfish when I ask you to leave him and to be mine again”

Jeonghan covered his face, tears sliding down the corners of his eyes.

“I want to. I want to so bad”

“Jeonghan” Jisoo removed his hands from the boy's beautiful face, smiling gently.

“I want you to be happy, I want you to know that I forgive you. Whatever you did or whatever I did, let's forget about it”

“Okay. Okay let's forget about it” Jeonghan smiled, feeling a large weight lifted from his shoulders “I just… Give me a few days to break up with Seungheol alright? I have to start acting distant towards him… Then it won't be so much of a surprise an-”

“Are you scared of him?”

“Yes”

Don't wanna know
What * you're wearing tonight
If he's holding onto you so tight

Jisoo should have felt awful about this. Code word; should. Yet he just didn't. He should have felt some sort of sympathy for Seungcheol, but this guy didn't even deserve it. After hearing the whole story from Jeonghan, he knew that was a fact. This guy was the reason Jeonghan left. Jisoo wouldn't let it continue.

Jisoo’s phone buzzed, a text from Jeonghan.

Junghan

Can't come over at 6 anymore, Seungcheol wants to go out and apparently his word is law (｡-_-｡)

You

Yea, whatever I guess

Junghan

Baby, don't be like that (・Д・)ノ i’m leaving early to come over, can I still come over around 10?

You

Yea

Junghan

Babyyyyyyyyy I'm doing my best.

You

Didn't seem like you had this hard of a Time leaving me.

Junghan

(｀∧´) maybe I won't come over.

You

Kidding. It's fine. Just come over when you can.

Jisoo sighed and tossed his phone of his bed. It wasn't fine. He didn't want to share Jeonghan anymore. He had waited long enough to get him back into his life and still didn't completely have him all to himself. Sometimes he wished Jeonghan was different, that he was easier to read.

Just the thought of Seungcheol kissing his lips and touching his body sickened Jisoo to the point of almost being physically ill.

Jeonghan pulled his hand away from Seungcheol’s as they walked around the shopping center, causing the older to frown.

“Why are you rejecting my affection lately?” Seungcheol’s voice was more irritated than hurt.

Jeonghan shrugged, “it's annoying lately, don't cling to me” his voice was caustic.

Seungcheol was speechless, stopping a and grabbing Jeonghan’s wrist to force the boy to look at him.

“Excuse me? Don't cling to you?” Seungcheol’s voice got louder “who do you think you are? You should know you belong to me okay? It's not clinging, I'm just trying to keep you on a leash”

Jeonghan stepped back, not liking where this was going.

“You know why? Because you're my ”

Jeonghan yanked his arm away. He couldn't do this anymore. He couldn't put himself through this kind of degrading bull.

Seungcheol grabbed Jeonghan again this time by the collar of his shirt. Jeonghan pushed the other away, which was useless because Seungcheol was built.

“Don't ing touch me Cheol!” Jeonghan yelled, attracting attention from people around them. Seungcheol quickly let go of Jeonghan.

“Cut it out” he threatened, keeping his head low.

“No, I can't take this anymore. You can't keep forcing me to stay. It's over. I'm leaving” Jeonghan made sure to leave while the other was still processing the information so he would be out of the danger zone.

Jisoo groaned, his head down on his desk as he finished his psych homework. The male's eyes began to feel heavy yet the buzzing of his phone snapped him out of his tiredness.

His thumb slid the answer button, lifting the phone to his ear, “mmm hello?”

“Jisoo? I- I did it. I'm single s- so ask me to be y- your boyfriend” he wasn't crying, he was stuttering badly which usually meant he was on the verge of completely breaking down into a sobbing mess.

“I'm coming to get you where are you?”

“In front of your door”

Jisoo sighed and set his phone down on top of his open textbook. As Jeonghan said, he was sitting against the brick wall across from Jisoo’s front door. Jisoo smiled, helping the boy to his feet and instantly embraced him. His had held the back of Jeonghan’s head.

Jisoo interpreted the long embrace as a sign to pick Jeonghan up. They sat on the couch, Jeonghan’s legs still wrapped around Jisoo’s waist with his face still tucked into the younger's neck.

“Jisoo… I know I might not be the most functional person or the easiest to love. I regret doing what I did to you every single day but I want you to know I'm willing to do anything for us to be okay again” his lips moved against Jisoo’s neck as he talked.

“Everything is fine. If it's not fine right now, it will be. Trust me. We’ll work out baby” Jisoo whispers, giving an affectionate smile “will you be my boyfriend?”

“Of course you dork”