Jaebum couldn’t believe himself, was that really the tiny dumb bear he saw or was it a figment of his imagination? He wasn’t really sure since she turned away so quickly but he was quite sure only Seulgi could make him smile unknowingly as Jinyoung had pointed a few moments after they left the venue.

It had been years that he knew he shouldn’t be allowing himself to feel elated about this. After all hadn’t he been the one who ruined their friendship because of a stupid letter containing a stupid excuse?

But of course in all his selfishness he wanted her to somehow be there supporting him, secretly.

“Aren’t you going to sleep?” Jinyoung asked the fresh smell of after shower wafted from around him he’d gone to clean up first and it was quite unusual for him to stay up after he does so.

“Later.” he uttered but of course the younger boy being the persistent one merely raised an eyebrow at him.

“Something bothering you?” he smirked slyly.

“Jinyoung…” he wasn’t in the mood to deal with this.

“How long are we going to avoid talking about your past, hmm hyung?” the other sat next to him legs crossed as he stared at him, he sighed its not that he didn’t want to talk about it he just doesn’t want to hear how wrong he’d been.

“Maybe tomorrow,” he muttered then walked away leaving the younger boy grinning triumphantly he’d finally have answers and the chance of knowing the older one better.

‘It’s going to be fun.’ he thought haughtily to himself.

***

He never fell asleep that night.

Memories kept hounding him, good and bad, memories of decisions, of regrets and happiness that shouldn’t belong with them.

He remembered the day he decided to pursue with the audition to become an idol, he had intended to visit her back then but ultimately decided not to since he wasn’t sure if things would even go well.

He remembered feeling nervous, never in his life had he felt that nervous but he knew that it was a life and death situation for him. Fail and he would be saying goodbye to his friendship with her, succeed and he might just have to say goodby