Junsu's POV

'Something is wrong with her. Something is definitely wrong with her. She's been acting weird these past few weeks. She forgets things easily, even the littlest of things. Two days ago, she 'misplaced' her cell phone. We searched her entire house and we found it in the refrigerator. What on earth was it doing in there? She swore she didn't put it in there. But who else could? There was only me and her in her house that night. Her actions and behaviour are really scaring me. She tells me not to worry, but with her condition like this, i can't help but to worry.'

Today, she has an appointment with her doctor at Seoul Hospital. If she can't tell me what's wrong with her, maybe her doctor can. Its my first time accompanying her to one of her appointments and i'm pretty nervous.


"Hey, you ready?" i said to her from her sofa.

"Yeap, lets go."

"Did you bring everything that you'll need for later on? Appointment card? Cell phone?"

"Its not my first time to the doctors' Junsu. And i'm old enough to take care of myself you know. You don't have to worry so much baby," she said while giving me a peck on my cheek before heading to the front door.


*

I started the engine and we soon drove off to the hospital.

"So how does this appointment thing work?" i said with my eyes still fixed on the road.

"Well, i sit outside the doctor's room and wait for the nurse to call me in. The doctor will run some tests on me and i'll wait for the report to come out. That's it."

"That's all? That's easy. What kind of tests do they do on you?"

"Hmm, most probably they'll run a CT scan on me today. Its been a month since they found the tumour in my head. The doctor said that by now, the tumour should've decreased in size."

"Then...what if the tumour didn't decrease in size? What happens then?"

"Hmm....i'm not sure. The doctor will tell me later on. But i'm sure i'll be fine. I was lucky the first time round, i'm sure i'll be lucky this time round as well," she said while smiling.

'I want her to be fine as well, but i just can't brush off this weird feeling in me.'

"Oh, oh, we're here!" she said as she pointed to the big white building on my left.

I drove to the main entrance and dropped her off there, "I'll find a parking space okay? You go in first. I'll meet you there."

"Fifth floor okay?"

I nodded and gave her a smile before heading to the parking lot. After parking the car, i walked over to the elevator. The doors opened and there was a big sign over my head, "CANCER WARDS"

There were so many people on that floor. 'Were all these people cancer patients as well?' i thought to myself.

There were little kids as well, they were running around at the lift lobby. They didn't seem sick to me. They looked....fine.

"Junsu ah!" I turned around and saw her waving her hands to me, signaling me to come over to where she was at.

"What time is your appointment baby?"

"3pm. The doctor should be here by now. He's probably busy with his other patients, so he might be late."

"Hey, when the doctor tells you your result, can i come in as well? I want to listen to him as well. May i?"

"Of course you may silly. You don't have to wait for the results to come in, you can just follow me in from the start."

"Miss             !" i heard a nurse call.

"Come on, the doctor's ready for me," she said as she dragged me along with her.


*

"Good afternoon doctor," she said as she bowed to him.

"Good afternoon Miss           , ah, i see you brought you friend with you."

"Yes, my boyfriend, Kim Junsu. I hope its okay for him to be here with me."

I nearly smiled when she said the word 'boyfriend'.

"Of course, i always advise my patients to bring their family members or friends along with them when they go for their checkups. Okay, are you ready? Lets begin." The doctor took a few files with him and headed out of the room.

"Baby, wait here okay? The doctor's bringing me somewhere else to have my CT scan. I'll be back soon."

And soon i was alone in that room. She must've been in here a million times. I feel so nervous for her. My baby's so brave, yet i'm so nervous. I'm scared for the results. I'm scared that the tumour is still there. I'm scared that things between us will change. I'm scared of everything.

The room was big and white. There was a kids area in the corner, most probably for those patients with children. There was a bunch of charts on the walls and a brain model on the doctor's table.

It wasn't long before both              and the doctor returned. She sat down beside me while the doctor took his own place.

"You okay?" i asked her while holding on to her hand. She didn't say anything but gave me a weak smile.

"Miss            , do you mind i have a small chat with Kim Junsu-ssi?" the doctor said to her. She looked shocked but eventually nodded to his request.

'I was shocked as well. What does the doctor want want with me?'

"Kim Junsu-ssi, you do know of your girlfriend's situation right?"

I nodded.

"To tell you the truth, its really rare for cancer to return that quickly. For Miss             's case, the tumour in her brain was still small back then and the doctors' weren't able to see it. We gave her medication for the tumour in her brain a month ago. The medicine was supposed to remove the tumour without any form of surgery. But, the results from the CT scan earlier on, don't look so well."

"Doctor, what exactly are you trying to say?"

He closed the files on his table and brought his hands onto the table. "You see, the tumour is still there in her brain. It didn't shrink in size at all and it's pressing on her nerves. These nerves control her ability to remember things. With the tumour sitting on those nerves of hers, she might face problems with remembering things. Did you notice anything different with her these past few days?"

"Well, she has been acting differently these couple of weeks. She forgets things easily. Once she forgot having a conversation with me over the phone. She kept saying that it i was making up stuff just to scare her. And most recently, she always misplaces her things."

"This is just the beginning Kim Junsu-ssi. Things will get worse as the days pass. We can't do anything about the tumour. If we carry out a surgery on her, the risks are extremely high."

"How long does she have?"

"About twelve months. It'll be a miracle if she lives longer than that. What's most important for now is that she continues to eat her medicine regularly. She will still have to come back for monthly checkups. And it will be best for someone to accompany her to wherever she goes, given her current condition."

I was too shocked to even respond to the doctor. There was a chance that my baby will forget about me. Forget about us.

"It might help if you talk about things from the past to stimulate her memory," the doctor was quiet for a while before he continued talking, "I'll ask Miss             to come in now."

"Wait, are you going to tell her everything?"

"No, not for now. Its best for the patients if they are not aware about their condition. It helps them to keep their mind off things."

I watched as the doctor opened the door and she came in smiling. Maybe it is for her own good if she doesn't know about her condition. I never want her to stop smiling.

"So doctor, how are the results?" she asked.

The doctor look one look at me before answering her question, "You're fine. Everything is fine, but you still have to continue eating your medicine okay? Plus, the monthly checkups are still on. You can live your life normally now."

She looked so happy. We left the hospital after collecting the medicine. The ride home was quiet, she said she was tired and i just let her be. I didn't want her to see me being worried and all.


Your POV

I kept quiet the entire ride home. I told him i was tired and he let me be. I can't possibly tell him that i overheard the conversation between him and my doctor. Yes, i know about my condition. I know that i might suffer from memory loss. I was lucky that the first time round, i didn't suffer from memory loss. But i can't say that about this time round. Luck isn't on my side now. I pretended to be oblivious when the doctor called me back in to tell me my results. I knew he was lying to me. I knew Junsu was lying to me. But i pretended and acted as if i knew nothing. I knew they didn't want me to worry. If he doesn't want me to know, i shall pretend, for his sake, i will.

-END OF CHAPTER-

Hello everyone. Sorry for not updating for the past two-three days.

Anyway, i might be adding another chapter later tonight :D Its already the 17th chapter!!

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