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|Eight Error|

He didn’t know how he was able to bear his own cruel lies, as his shattered heart and could barely allow him to breath, let alone not break at her tears. Those same eyes that used to look at him with love and happiness were now looking at him swimming with tears and broken by his words. It wasn’t even moments ago when she’d arrived, with that bright smile she always flashed when she met him , while he calculated how he was going to dim it into nothingness with a lie he could barely think up.

He’d fidgeted for the longest time with the bracelet she’d given him not too long ago, unsure of which lie he should tell to make her leave him without regret. A person like him told lies for a living, and always delivered with straight sincerity, but this was Sunghee. It had never been easy to string along a believable lie when it came to her, especially now when she looked at him with more knowing than she ought to.

So he was drinking to cope, piling lie after lie, because doing it sober would be impossible and if he stopped speaking his façade would break. He was bordering on tipsy trying to convince her she was better off without him, and shouldn’t be hurt, but none of them were soothing the heart he’d broken. A heart, in ideal circumstances, he would be protecting with everything he had.

Heck, she was still looking at him hoping it was all a lie. Even as his words cut her, she was still not looking at him with the hate he wanted her to feel, but with disbelief and hope. He hated himself a bit more for that, because he genuinely had her heart and he was throwing it away.

Ever since he’d become an adult everything he did, connections he’d made were based on false pretense. They were a means to an end without responsibility or genuine attachment. His relationship with Sunghee was the first real thing he’d done, emotions and time expended done without ulterior motive or expecting anything other than her own heart and emotion in return.

The first genuine emotion he’d felt after losing his parents, the first real thing he’d invested in and he was now forced to falsify.

It was all to protect her; he lied to himself. He was doing the right thing, was another lie he told himself.

He managed to make it outside before his heart finally gave into the pain of losing her and he slowly dropped onto a bench by the window. A stolen glance at the woman he still loved through the corner of his eyes knowing it would be the last time, even though he didn’t deserve even that little reprieve given the circumstances.

A place where many happy memories were created was now a place she would come to hate. He truly could be a ruthless bastard when he put his mind to it.

Even when Sa Jaesung jeered and taunted him about the pain he was feeling, he didn’t keep it hidden. If anything, it hurt the more to hear the man mock the woman he loved with words he’d spat at her moments ago to push her away.

He didn’t need a reminder of the true subconscious reason he’d pushed her away. “Just go, please.”

He’d pushed her away to protect her, but also protect himself from her.

A/N:  This chapter is pretty much in line with the series cannon, and from here on out will deal with selective scenes seen in the series, with a few headcannon A/U woven in for good measure. Let the angst begin

Comments would be lovely and greatly wanted, helps me know what you think. Constructive Criticisms is welcomed, because it helps me improve. Flames … “to each, his own”.

The plotline and story is mine. Please do not repost, copy, translate anywhere and plagiarism is a bad thing.