Dear Soojung,

Why are you even- nevermind. How are you? Is Kai treating you fine? I hope so. If not, then please bail me out in seven days. Regarding your question; no, Sulli and Vic are not gay. Sulli is with Choiza, remember? Their news is all over the world. But why're you asking me this? But i'm sure they are not. They are far from it, alright?

Look, if you're drunk while writing this, then I don't have anything to write for you. Good day.

Dear Soojung,

Oh so you're sober. Forgive me. Your previous letter to me was a mix of incoherent and misplaced words, stupid. Unless you are high, then I don't know what else.

Unless you drink with Yuri?

Krys,

I just happen to read the previous letter the second time. What do you mean by I don't know? I know you're dating Kai. Hell, even your haters and fans know. Why do you say that? Krys, I'm your sister since we were born. I know you're dating Kai before you could even say 'fool'. Your first word was fool and mom wasn't happy.

GOD DAMN IT KRYS,

WHAT DO YOU MEAN KAISTAL IS FAKE? I'M YOUR SHIPPER AND YOU BROKE-Alright, meet me outside and don't bring any reinforcement. I'm bringing Fany and Sunny. Just so you know, they're your shipper.

Dear my lovely sister,

I can't say this in person but,

do you know I'm your shipper?

Dear Hyoyeon,

Hyo. My dearest friend. Honestly I always thought letters are . To communicate with this traditional meddling thing is not my thing. But how you write them the most. Learn proper grammar and dont send me any drunk letters, imbecile.

PS: Send it to Tyler. If he's pissed, then I'm happy.

Dear JeTi_Ace220,

They are drunk. By literal meaning. It's a fact and I do not wish to argue about whether they're drunk or not. If you don't believe me I would gladly bribe Seohyun so she could give me her collection of Drunk Yoona and Drunk Hyoyeon. And yes she's a maniac. Do you agree if I send her to mental institute? Any other suggestion, perhaps?

Dear Yuri,

Oh you saw the letter. No, I am not hating you just as you accuse me. Hate is a strong word, and I doubt you're that strong.

*attached to it was an old love letter*

This is from our Yulsic era. And no, I don't hate you once again. Just to remind you that my love for you is still there. And if I ever dated any Kwon, then that is you.

But I, at the moment, ship Jeti and hail JeTi. Don't ever do Yulti, understand? Just because I'm not in the same group as you all doesn't mean I don't know.

Dear Amber,

Taeyeon broke your phone?

Hah. Not good enough reason to make you could write letter to me, though. I believe Vic is as capable as Kim Jong Kook and Taeyeon in term of protecting her members. So I think, no, you're lying about Taeyeon smashing your phone to pieces. Trust me, she's not that barbaric.

Dear Amber,

No. Still don't believe you.

Dear Victoria,

You serious?

Dear Taeyeon,

Taeng, I know you're pissed and all but it's been weeks. I will give your damned earphone after your TTS comeback! So do it fast.

Dear Tyler,

Hello sweetheart. No, of course I don't know anything about that. It must be annoying to have my ex-friends writing drunken letters to you. I pity you. My, you do know I am not one who break rules right? Don't worry, I never contacted them for months, you know that. Yes ever since I terminated my contract. I believe they're sending those letters just because they want to annoy you. Simple as that. Ah, I don't think you should report Yoona and Hyoyeon to police. Trust me, it's a compliment that they told you your hips are so fine. No Tyler, I repeat it's not a ual harassment.

Dear Yoona and Hyoyeon,

Name four things you want. After you read this please burn this letter. Oh and all of my letters. Tyler is suspecting me. I have burned yours.

Yoong, Hyo,

Don't answer this letter while drunk, you twit. How am I supposed to grant your wish if you want a ? Do I look like a fairy godmother to you? I may be magical in some fanfics, but I am not in real life.

Dear red_trunke,

Of course I could and always will. No matter ridiculous and unintelligent the letter is. Except spams, of course. Oh an thank me, not BakaFarron. But he did thank you for upvoting this story though I am the one who writes it. 

Which do you prefer; sending Taeyeon a therapist or giving her to mental insitute? 

*blood spots*

Forget I even ask that.

Dear Tiffany,

I'm glad you miss me that much, Tiff. But i don't think spamming my mailbox with 208 pink I MISS U letters is a good idea. Yes I count all of it. But don't expect me to reply every single one of them, alright.

Dear BakaFarron,

off. I write. You publish. Case closed. I'm better than you.

Dear Yuri,

Yul. Seobang. Please. When I said I still love you, it doesn't mean that I will gladly receive thousands of letters, alright? Tyler is suspecting me contacting you all, and he will be utterly confused if I ever make a bonfire with pink papers. Paparazzi will surely mistook them as fan letters.

Yul,

Stop.

Yul, 

Just ing text me on other media aside of letters, alright?

YUL,

What do you mean your electronic things got broken...?

Dear Sunny,

SUNBUN! Oh my god, you don't know how happy am I to find a letter that doesn't make me want to rip my eyes off! In short, I'm more than a simple glad to receive your letter. I'm sorry I haven't replied it. I received it yesterday but I just went home today. You know, B&E and works.

So how are you? Have you been well? Does your knee injury have been healed completely? No? Nevermind then. Please don't be mad at this, but why are you sending me letters? You do know my tablet holds my other account, right? 

Dear Seohyun,

Please be honest. Did Taeyeon broke your phone or any other electronic things of yours?

Dear Hyoyeon,

Please be honest. Did Taeyeon broke your phone or any other electronic things of yours?

Dear Yoona,

Please be honest. Did Taeyeon broke your phone or any other electronic things of yours?

Dear Sooyoung,

Please be honest. Did Taeyeon broke your phone or any other electronic things of yours?

Dear SNSD manager,

Hello unnie, It's weird I suddenly sent you a letter, is it not? Well I do this on purpose, actually. Or purposes. You see, my phone is being serviced and my tablet's typing , oh and my email also been hacked. I suspect Taeyeon do this out of revenge. So here I am, writing to you a traditional letter. Unnie, i have favor to ask. One, please take away Yuri's mail privilage. She's sent over thousands of letters;whether it's drunk letters or not, I am not tolerating any of it. Tyler doesn't want me to keep contact with the girls, so I hope you understand after reading my letter please burn it down. Two, please burn all letter with my address attached. I suspect Tyler sending spies. Three, please restrain Taeyeon from doing any property damage. I don't know if you notice this or not, but Taeyeon is actually the culprit of all of SNSD members' broken phones. And laptops. And tablets. And TVs. Except Taeyeon's. It was me. 

Tell her if it's a fight she wants, then she may come to my house to settle things down. She may hit me first.

Dear Taeyeon,

I was kidding.

You comment, Jessica will reply. You upvote, Jessica will thank you.

Anyway, thank you for the subs, upvote, and comments!