Dear PlayerHwang,

No. Tiffany gave it to me. Me. Jessica Jung Sooyeon. If Tiffany Hwang wants her letters back, then so be it. But I don’t care if you’re Hwang or anything related to Hwang, but as long as you are not Tiffany, you will never ever get it. You. Are. Not. My. Tiffany. Got it?

But thanks for the upvote, anyway. I appreciate it, really.

Dear Byulyi,

Aren’t you MoonByul MAMAMOO? YOU ARE, ARE YOU?! I recognize your greasy lines everywhere. It’s second after Yuri.

How are you? Oh and I love your group Um Oh Ah Yeah MV. Makes me sad SNSD never used that kind concept…

Dear Byulyi,

Sorry, I haven't checked your comeback... And about that matter... Not important, kay? Oh and I am too, fine like you. Just… a little bit stressed out because of stupid drunken letters my friends gave me.

Dear Byulyi,

Enough with your greasy lines, imbecile. Now to answer your question; a big ing NO. As matter of fact, though I really loved Krystal, I do not love her that way. I never had ual with someone like sister to me, much less my own sister. I know you’re my and my sister’s fan, but please. I am not as uous as you accuse me.

What makes you ask that?

Byulyi,

Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I love someone and that is not my sister. Do I need to always remind you this? Gosh, why are you always pressing me about this topic? Though I am gay, I don’t have any uous feeling towards my own sister!

Byulyi,

I’m sick of writing to you.

Byulyi,

I reply because you spammed me. Tyler gonna kill me for sure if you’re one of my ex-friends.

Byulyi,

DON’T BEAT AROUND THE BUSH AND TELL ME YOUR REASON OF WRITING TO ME, IMBECILE! Please, just… write it down and I’ll wait patiently. Even for weeks. Or maybe months. Or maybe years.

Dear Byulyi,

Actually, never sounds better.

Dear jt4life,

It is I, who made your day. He doesn’t even work aside of drawing people! And trust me, it’s like a five years old drawing. Believe. Encourage me, not him. And I’m glad you like it. And thanks for the upvote, he’s really happy about that.

Regarding your question; No, I haven’t and never will. I don’t ing care if Tyler found out, he’s anyway.

Dear SinB,

Yes and yes. I quit SNSD because of personal reason. Thank you for your letter, love and all, really. I’m happy to call you my dongsaeng, even when we are not in the same agency. Your face is similar to me after all, consider I'm your older twin. But please message me, don’t write letter. We are contacts on Kakaotalk, for GOD SAKE!

Dear SinB,

I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. Would you like to go on a lunch with me? You know, I have a good relationship with Song Ji Hyo unnie.

Dear SinB,

I hope you’re not disappointed by me bringing Tiffany to this. She happens to see your letter and she’s huge fan of GFriend.

Dear SinB,

What do you mean it’s a double date?

Dear musiarc,

I think you are drunk. Drunk letters like theirs are annoying. But I must say very few of them are actually funny. Maybe sometime I will forward you Hyoyeon’s letter. Seriously it was funny. No sarcasm. No lies. All truth.

Since you’re practically a stranger to me, I’ll reply your letter. Good day.

Dear BakaFarron,

What do you mean they’re your fans? They’re my fans.

Dear browtogs09,

You are right. They are stupid enough to not notice my funny side. But I think they’re right about that also. I am not funny for stupid people because my jokes are intelligent.

I am glad to see my fans are bunch of intelligent people.  Ah and thank you for the upvote.

And yes, hail JeTi.

Dear red_trunke,

So you write me a letter again, eh? You have some guts to write to me for the second time. Then again, I do not know you and I do not wish to add you on Line. Even you have, I’m pretty sure you will continue to send me letters.

But, I must admire your way of thinking. Dookongs. Why haven’t I thought of that? Maybe after this I’ll send those cute things to Taeyeon. Oh and no, I will not give her some love. I gave her my love and what, she cursed my phone.

My god damn phone.

My lover. My soulmate. My all.

Dear Chaerin,

Who are you?

Dear Chaerin,

OH. OOOOHHH. You're CL! It is a pleasure to finally get acquaintance to you, Baddest Girl! Or woman, eh? By the way, when are you going to debut?

Chaerin,

I hope you forgive me for that. Yes, I mean comeback.

Dear Chaerin,

Tch fine then. By the way, why are you writing letters to me? Is there any apparent reason? Is there any crazed midget dookong lover who broke all of your electronic things?

Chaerin,

Brunette?

CHAERIN,

WHAT DO YOU MEAN.

Taeyeon,

I believe we have to meet up. It’s been months now and I do not wish to have any more casualties on this… war. If you want to, please come by patbingsu shop near SBS building tomorrow. It’s good and I will pay. Deal?

Taeyeon,

Deal. I will make sure your dookong earphone this weekend. Yes I will deliver it personally. But Taeyeon, I must ask you something. Is this… are these letters, are one of your plot of petty revenge? You do know well that I am almost crazy because of that, do you not?

Taeyeon,

You could by another phone or just serviced it. My sanity definitely not.

Dear Byulyi,

I’m actually impressed you spent your weekend by writing this 6 pages essay of frustration. I think I can sympathize. Trust me, I can. Though I never had any ual with someone like sister to me, I once had an unresolved . Just because I thought it may be . In case you’re wondering, it’s Sunny. But that was long time ago.

And my answer is yes. You may approach Solar with those… kind of approach. Though I’m not one who responsible for her to be creeped out by you. But you have to be yourself to approach someone you like. Simple as that. You have my approval. If you’re looking for more ‘unnie’ approval, I suggest you to write letter to Hyoyeon or Yuri. They once approached me with that kind of approach just for fun. And I must say I enjoyed it. Stay away from Seohyun. She’ll spam and lecture you instead.

You’re welcome.

Dear Byulyi,

WRONG KIM AND YEON, IMBECILE!

Dear Taeyeon,

Chill. I can explain.

Dear SNSD Manager,

Unnie, please burn down those dookongs or send it back to me. There’s no more peace treaty. 

Same as before. But now you could make request. Include your pairings too.