Thinking of You
MaybeIs love always like butterflies to you?
To me, love is being comfortable
Love is when I don’t have to set apart time
to start thinking of you.
(One More Chance – Thinking of You)
| IOI Chatroom |
som_swag said:
I want to play a game
chungha29 said:
go away Anna
dodo_swag said:
that awkward moment when it was jigsaw’s voice in your head
then the reply was Elsa’s
som_swag said:
it’s called crossovers
s_sohye said:
where’s everyone else? :(
dodo_swag said:
being productive
unlike you.
s_sohye said:
dodo_swag says the one who’s playing with an imaginary puppy!
som_swag said:
shut up, both of you.
chungha29 said:
BILL.
dodo_swag said:
som_swag go shut up-ing alone
chungha29 ???
s_sohye said:
dodo_swag som_swag that’s not how it works
dodo_swag said:
what work? we jobless today let’s just face it
som_swag said:
BELL.
*yoo_swag is online!*
chungha29 said:
there we go.
HELL.
yoo_swag said:
…why’s the first word I see Hell?
dodo_swag said:
congrats you’re officially a fallen angel now
s_sohye said:
a fallen angel is essentially…
dodo_swag said:
a satan, yes.
som_swag said:
HILL.
yoo_swag said:
som_swag why are you speaking English a word at a time?
dodo_swag said:
did yoojungie mute us.
s_sohye said:
a plausible theory.
chungha29 said:
WILL.
som_swag said:
we’re doing a word game!
choose a word, change it into another word one letter at a time
to get the final word we want. :D
DILL.
chungha29 said:
Dill?
yoo_swag said:
does the transformed word have to be a word too?
som_swag said:
Dill, v. t. [OE. dillen, fr. dul dull, a.] To still; to calm; to soothe, as one in pain.
[1913 Webster]; wn: dill n 1: aromatic Old World herb having aromatic threadlike foliage and seeds used as seasoning.
Dill is a word. :>
yoo_swag yup.
chungha29 said:
fair enough.
but have we chosen a destination word already?
som_swag said:
oh right we haven't
*facepalms*
s_sohye said:
let's do IOI!
chungha29 said:
can’t. we need to arrive to a 4-letters word if we start with a 4-letters word.
dodo_swag said:
should’ve started with hate to turn it into love.
yoo_swag said:
dodo_swag I don’t know you’re a romantic.
s_sohye said:
how about debt?
som_swag said:
did you just say debt omg
TRIG GER ED
call.
chungha29 said:
DOLL.
*sejeong_k is online!*
yoo_swag said:
can I participate too
som_swag said:
come in~
sejeong_k said:
hello :D
yoo_swag said:
DOLT.
sejeong_k said:
what is a dolt
chungha29 said:
sejeong_k a blockhead.
sejeong_k said:
chungha29 D:
yoo_swag WHO ARE YOU CALLING A BLOCKHEAD
s_sohye said:
it’s a game, unnie
sejeong_k said:
so now my feelings are a game to you? :(((
chungha29 said:
BOLT.
dodo_swag said:
BOLD
som_swag said:
BALD~
s_sohye said:
BAND
sejeong_k said:
sTOP IGNORING ME
chungha29 said:
BIND.
sejeong_k stop being so dramatic.
yoo_swag said:
BINT.
chungha29 said:
bint—okay daeng who taught you that word
yoo_swag said:
…google?
dodo_swag said:
why, unnie? is bint a bad word?
chungha29 said:
sigh, google.
it’s an offensive British term for a girl.
sejeong_k said:
like a biyatch?
yoo_swag said:
AHHHHHHHH REALLY?
I’m sorry unnie I didn’t know :<
chungha29 said:
it’s okay, I’m just worried someone’s been teaching you bad words.
s_sohye said:
I don’t know, chungha unnie. are whozzap and cash me ousside bad words
som_swag said:
BENT~
dodo_swag said:
WENT!
chungha29 said:
som_swag yah, stop teaching them weird things
also, DENT.
s_sohye said:
aaaaaand DEBT!
dodo_swag said:
HUZZAH
yoo_swag said:
WE DID IT
s_sohye said:
WE DID IT
dodo_swag said:
WE DID IT, YEAH—
som_swag said:
LO HICIMOS~
sejeong_k said:
what is this dora the explosion realness
chungha29 said:
sejeong_k it’s explorer not explosion.
sejeong_k said:
chungha29 really unnie, really?
it took me a misspelling to get you to notice me?
som_swag said:
can we take debt and turn it back to bill?
yoo_swag said:
why bill?
chungha29 said:
we started with bill earlier.
so, DEBT.
dodo_swag said:
DEFT.
s_sohye said:
is deft a word?
som_swag said:
deft adj 1: quick and skillful in movement
2: skillful in physical movements, especially of the hands
yoo_swag said:
how did dodo even know that word?
dodo_swag said:
google.
s_sohye said:
it’s confirmed, you two the google couple now.
DAFT.
yoo_swag said:
s_sohye shut up penguin
dodo_swag said:
shut up, both of you
sejeong_k said:
DON’T IGNORE ME AGAIN TT TT
chungha29 said:
sejeong_k just join the game.
also, RAFT.
s_sohye said:
I looked up raft on naver—I want to go rafting :<
yoo_swag said:
s_sohye me too
dodo_swag said:
yoo_swag s_sohye me three
s_sohye said:
dodo_swag shut
yoo_swag said:
dodo_swag up
dodo_swag said:
yoo_swag s_sohye touché.
sejeong_k said:
oh well here goes nothing—
RAPT.
som_swag said:
sejeong_k there you go unnie!!
dodo_swag said:
GAPE
yoo_swag said:
CAPE
s_sohye said:
COPE
chungha29 said:
ROPE
som_swag said:
RIPE
sejeong_k said:
what about rile?
chungha29 said:
that’s a word alright. it means ‘to excite a feeling of anger or annoyance’.
sejeong_k that suits you.
sejeong_k said:
chungha29 I……
chungha29 said:
sejeong_k just kidding :>
anyway, after rile
MILE.
s_sohye said:
BILE.
som_swag said:
aaaaaand BILL!
*i_nayoung is online!*
dodo_swag said:
YASSSS
yoo_swag said:
THIS IS FUN
s_sohye said:
yay for expanding vocabularies!
som_swag said:
s_sohye wad. I just thought of it as a game.
sejeong_k said:
som_swag that’s because you already memorized the dictionary.
chungha29 said:
nah, it’s because she’s familiar with English already.
som_swag said:
mumblemumblewhyiseverythingshouldbealessonmumblemumble
i_nayoung said:
o_o
were you guys playing?
yoo_swag said:
GRAPE <-> VOMIT
come on i_nayoung unnie GRAPE
i_nayoung said:
yoo_swag what
chungha29 said:
i_nayoung too slow
s_sohye said:
GRIPE
dodo_swag said:
GRIPS
sejeong_k said:
TRIPS
som_swag said:
TRAPS
i_nayoung said:
…CRAPS?
s_sohye said:
there you go unnie!!
but is that a word?
dodo_swag said:
yes, apparently it means a lot of crap.
chungha29 said:
I can’t believe I laughed so hard at doyeon's answer.
som_swag said:
welcome to the lame humor club, chungha unnie.
craps is actually a gambling game using two dice.
also, CRABS.
*jieqiongzhou is online!*
yoo_swag said:
CRIBS
i_nayoung said:
…so that’s how we do it, huh?
strange game.
s_sohye said:
CRIPS
i_nayoung said:
is that a word
chungha29 said:
yes. it refers to the street gang based in LA.
jieqiongzhou said:
yellow popcorn is cooler as a gang name.
sejeong_k said:
by the way, CLIPS?
chungha29 said:
jieqiongzhou hello
SLIPS.
dodo_swag said:
SLAPS
yoo_swag said:
FLAPS
jieqiongzhou said:
chungha29 hi unnie!
99+ notifs guys what u doing
i_nayoung said:
CLAPS
jieqiongzhou said:
you… were clapping?
som_swag said:
CLAMS
*uyj_s is online!*
jieqiongzhou said:
clapping like clams?
do clams even clap
s_sohye said:
SLAMS
jieqiongzhou said:
‘kay I iz officially confused.
sejeong_k said:
SLAYS
uyj_s said:
YASSSS SLAY!
wait what we doin
yoo_swag said:
BLAYS
dodo_swag said:
is that a word
s_sohye said:
apparently it’s a fish
chungha29 said:
how are we going to bring blays to vomit
uyj_s said:
why would you want a fish to vomit?
som_swag said:
PLAYS
dodo_swag said:
no that’s not what chungha unnie meant
i_nayoung said:
PLANS
uyj_s said:
okay what? I’m confused
chungha29 said:
PLANE
jieqiongzhou said:
uyj_s welcome to the club.
sejeong_k said:
PLANT
this is why we shouldn’t let yoojungie pick our destination word.
yoo_swag said:
SLANT
sejeong_k sorry :<
*g9_mina is online!*
g9_mina said:
is sejeong unnie online
sejeong_k said:
crap—
*sejeong_k is offline*
g9_mina said:
SEJEONG UNNIE YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULD REST
YOU SICK WOMAN
sejeong_k YAHH!!
chungha29 said:
wait sejeong is sick?
g9_mina said:
chungha29 light fever and exhaustion, unnie
chungha29 said:
I see…
SCANT.
g9_mina said:
chungha29 what.
jieqiongzhou said:
g9_mina hi, another confused person.
welcome to the club.
***
“Is Sejeong unnie okay?”
Chungha looked up from her bunk to find Jieqiong standing at the door, the latter’s brows furrowing together as Jieqiong frowned in concern. Chungha tilted her head, considering the question in the midst of the beeping sounds her phone made.
The kids were still trying to reach vomit.
“I don’t know, Mina said she had taken medicines and the Jellyfish girls joined forces to keep Sejeong from slipping to the practice room,” she answered finally, frowning to herself at her own answer. All she had was the information she got from Mina. She hadn’t contacted Sejeong—she didn’t want to disturb Sejeong’s resting time, even if she’s this worried, even if she’s itching to just call the latter up.
Sighing, Chungha looked back at Jieqiong again, “Why are you asking me, anyway?” She was sure there were others who knew as much—like Nayoung.
“Why not?” Jieqiong replied, entering the room and sitting gingerly on Nayoung’s empty bunk. “You have a separate chat with Sejeong unnie, right?”
“How did you know?” Chungha asked, something inside her fluttering suddenly at the younger girl’s words. It had been happening more frequently now, anything Sejeong-related inciting weird feelings to blossom in the bottom of Chungha’s stomach, and Chungha didn’t know why.
Maybe I know. Chungha shifted uneasily, maybe I know but I don’t want to admit it.
“Are you kidding, unnie? Everyone knows.” Chungha’s head snapped up, shocked, but she immediately relaxed when she remembered that Jieqiong didn’t mean what she thought she meant. Jieqiong was talking about the chatroom, not Chungha’s heart.
Jieqiong grinned, taking in Chungha’s surprised expression as a reply. “This is why you shouldn’t set your birthday as your password,” she teased.
Chungha paled. “Who snooped on my phone?”
“Now, now, if I tell you, I’d be screwed, unnie.” Jieqiong brought Nayoung’s pillow to her embrace, hugging it. She winked at Chungha. “Don’t worry, we don’t read the contents. Somi said she didn’t want to gain diabetes yet.”
Chungha’s eyes narrowed at the name of the first possible culprit, “Somi?”
“And Sohye said you guys will just banter as usual, while Mina’s adamant that 90% of the chat will be Sejeong unnie trying to get you to reply. Dodaeng agreed.” Jieqiong smirked triumphantly at Chungha’s facepalm, enjoying the sight of the flustered dance queen. The dongsaeng line was in this together. Chungha could already feeling the rising headache.
“There’s nothing between Sejeong and I,” she began.
“We never said that there is anything going on between Sejeong unnie and you,” Jieqiong interrupted, light and airy. “But a private chat with only the two of you proves your claim how?” She wiggled her eyebrows, ducking away when Chungha threw a pillow towards her.
“You guys are really something else,” Chungha sighed at Jieqiong’s cackle.
“Just change your password~”
“I know.” Chungha closed her eyes and rubbed her temple, reminding herself to do just that the moment she got herself alone. “Speaking of changing,” she started, opening her eyes again, “do you know if Mina changed plans at all?”
Jieqiong shrugged. “Ah, I was going to ask you.”
They were planning for a movie night that day, to rest after days of countless practices for events and more. Sejeong and Mina had agreed to visit the dorm after finishing some practice in their own agency, while Chaeyeon had confirmed that she could arrive before 7 p.m. after picking Yeonjung up from Starship’s building.
Though, if Sejeong was sick…
“Maybe they shouldn’t come,” Chungha murmured, her fingers absently spinning her phone around.
“Maybe,” Jieqiong parroted, putting Nayoung’s pillow back to its original place. She smiled, rising from the bunk and dusting off her pants, “Why don’t you just ask, unnie?”
“Ask her not to come?” Chungha mused, her fingers sweeping the screen and inputing some numbers. Jieqiong mouthed the numbers, already memorizing it by heart, and she stopped when Chungha looked at her again, smiling innocently instead.
Chungha swallowed. “Should I tell her ‘don’t come?’”
Jieqiong’s smile faltered, as if she couldn’t believe what Chungha was saying, and Chungha quickly explained her reason—
“She’s sick, Jieqiong.”
Jieqiong rolled her eyes, and Chungha had an inkling that Jieqiong knew something she didn’t. “You can try to tell her that, unnie,” Jieqiong said, shrugging as though she could already imagine what the outcome would be.
Chungha nodded slowly. “Okay…”
“Also, unnie?” Jieqiong stopped at the door, turning slightly to look at Chungha again. Chungha stared, her head tilted slightly to wait for Jieqiong’s next words.
“What is love to you?”
Chungha blinked, caught off guard from the unexpected question. Jieqiong was still standing there, waiting expectantly for an answer, and Chungha was surprised to find that her mind wandered to a picture of someone.
A certain someone.
Someone with a teasing smile, a pair of bedroom eyes, and a box of happiness she never got tired of sharing with Chungha—
The resident dancer shook her head, breaking off from that train of thought before her heart could arrive into a sound conclusion. It’s dangerous. She shifted her gaze back to the door again, a careless answer she had once read in a book hanging lightly on the tip of her tongue.
Jieqiong was gone.
***
| 96-line Dungeon |
chungha29 said:
er…
sejeong?
*sejeong_k is online!*
sejeong_k said:
chungha29 hi unnie!
‘tis Mina speaking.
chungha29 said:
…mina?
why are you holding sejeong’s phone?
sejeong_k said:
sejeong unnie is restrained in bed so I’m in charge of her phone.
just in case.
chungha29 said:
is sejeong really sick? why does it sound like she has committed a crime instead.
sejeong_k said:
going against professional advice to play a word game is a crime, unnie.
chungha29 said:
......sure.
sejeong_k said:
:D
anyway, is there anything I could help you with?
chungha29 said:
yes
no wait, how did you unlock sejeong’s phone?
sejeong_k said:
this is why using birthdays as a password should be prohibited.
chungha29 said:
*facepalms*
sejeong_k said:
it’s okay, unnie, I haven’t scrolled up. I still love having my fingers finely straight.
chungha29 said:
what? our convos aren’t cringey.
…well…
maybe your unnie’s. mine is not.
sejeong_k said:
thank you, but I’m not taking any chances.
chungha29 said:
>_>
anyway, mina.
sejeong_k said:
yesh?
chungha29 said:
are you guys coming? for our movie night.
sejeong_k said:
ah, right, it’s tonight!
………
unnie, sejeong unnie wants me to relay to you this question.
‘do you miss me that much?’
chungha29 said:
I would like you to relay a smack, but she’s sick so now I'm conflicted.
sejeong_k said:
true. I can sympathize.
so, do you, unnie?
chungha29 said:
what?
sejeong_k said:
aish, this unnie…
do you miss sejeong unnie?
chungha29 said:
well, I miss both of you.
sejeong_k said:
sejeong unnie is pouting right now.
ah nayoung unnie said hi.
the Kim one, fyi.
chungha29 said:
hi too, nayoung!
and tell sejeong to stop pouting or I’ll stop missing her.
sejeong_k said:
that’s cold, unnie.
excellent reply. :>
but jokes aside, do you miss sejeong unnie? honest.
chungha29 said:
I was honest from the start… = =
sejeong_k said:
sejeong unnie wants me to relay to you,
‘just admit it, you miss me right? that’s why you chat me first, right? to make sure I’ll come?’
I’m very sorry in advance for sejeong unnie’s whining…
chungha29 said:
haha. well…
I’m actually going to ask sejeong not to come.
sejeong_k said:
WHAT?
chungha29 said:
well—
sejeong_k said:
sejeong unnie wants me to relay to you another WHAT, written with bold, underlined, highlighted letters.
chungha29 said:
well, sejeong is sick.
sejeong_k said:
I think sejeong unnie has had enough of people telling her that she’s sick.
chungha29 said:
I want her to rest.
sejeong_k said:
sejeong unnie really has had enough of people telling her she has to rest.
chungha29 said:
well it’s true. she needs to rest to get healthy again soon…
sejeong_k said:
unnie.
sejeong unnie is ranting to nayoung unnie about how evil we are for making her rest in exchange of a permission to attend our movie night only for us to ‘pull a dirty trick like this’ and make her efforts go to waste.
chungha29 said:
what.
sejeong_k said:
well, you see…
jelpi unnies have made a deal with sejeong unnie.
if she obediently rests, sejeong unnie and I can go to our dorm.
chungha29 said:
...I see
sejeong_k said:
but then you said you don’t want her to come so now sejeong unnie is sulking
I think nayoung unnie is getting overwhelmed
wait is sejeong unnie rapping her rants
omona
chungha29 said:
look, I—
I didn’t mean I don’t want you guys to come.
sejeong_k said:
nayoung unnie wants me to relay to you that sejeong unnie is healthy enough to rap, thus attending a movie night is not a problem for her health
chungha29 said:
sorry, nayoung. I don’t know my words would cause you so much trouble.
sejeong_k said:
nayoung unnie is waving a white flag weakly while nodding at your reply.
I think she wants to say that it’s okay.
chungha29 said:
well… fine.
I want you to tell sejeong, though, if she still feels unwell, it’s okay to not come.
sejeong_k said:
ohmygAHD I’M NOT A MESSENGER OWL PEOPLE ASSJHSDJSDSJ
but sejeong unnie says ok.
chungha29 said:
ok?
sejeong_k said:
we all know her ok translates to ‘no way in Hell.’
– nayoung
chungha29 said:
…good point.
sejeong_k said:
I’m mina again!
well, if that’s all, see you later, unnie. ^^
chungha29 said:
yeah :)
sejeong_k said:
(sejeong unnie is perplexed because you sent me a :) emoji)
(in her words: WHAT ABOUT ME YOU NEVER DO THAT TO ME)
chungha29 said:
what are you saying? I’ve sent you a hug emoji once.
sejeong_k said:
sejeong unnie is livid because it’s only ONCE.
under nayoung unnie’s threat.
no, kim nayoung unnie, not you. I meant the im one.
chungha29 said:
nayoung's still there?
sejeong_k said:
she's stealing glances over my shoulder.
anyway, sejeong unnie wants me to relay 'stop changing the topic'.
chungha29 said:
aigoo. fine.
what do you want, sejeong?
sejeong_k said:
can’t you two continue this convo when sejeong unnie’s done resting? I’m starting to feel like I’m intruding and I really don’t want to know how this conversation would end because that’d be TOO MUCH INFORMATION and then I’ll be scarred for life.
chungha29 said:
HAHAHA
sorry, mina.
thank you for talking with me. <3 <3
yes, sejeong, the second heart is for you.
sejeong_k said:
oh geez,
judging from sejeong unnie’s loud whoop, she’s 100% healthy.
see you later, unnie! <3
*sejeong_k is offline*
***
When Sejeong stepped off from the van that dropped them off in front of the dorm, she could feel her head spinning slowly like a ball filled with rice grains shaken in a video played with 0.5 slower than its usual speed. Her brain felt like it’s scattered all over the place, with occasional pounding that made her wish she could chop off a part of her head.
But when Mina asked her if she’s okay, Sejeong bit her tongue and nodded with the most cheery smile she could manage, because she couldn’t afford being sent back home.
“There they are!”
Sejeong peeked from the blue scarf tied around her face—yes, face, it was a very long scarf—and beamed when she saw Chaeyeon dragging a dizzy Yeonjung with her.
“Chaeyeon unnie!” Mina cheered, tackle-glomping the older girl and giving Yeonjung a chance to be free from Chaeyeon’s grip. Yeonjung looked dazed for a while, but the main vocal quickly noticed Sejeong’s presence, and soon Sejeong found herself with an excited Yoo bundle in her embrace, exchanging words of I miss yous.
“Unnie, I heard you’re sick.” Yeonjung looked up with worried eyes, and Sejeong grinned, ruffling the younger’s hair—although slower than she usually would,
“Don’t worry, kid. I’m better now!” It came out almost like a string of mumbled words, since her lips was blocked by the damned scarf, but Sejeong didn’t pay it no mind.
“Let’s get you two settled in,” Chaeyeon said, side-hugging Sejeong briefly with Mina still clinging on her other arm. “Do you want a cup of warm tea?”
Sejeong wiggled in her bulky coat, the sound of ‘warm tea’ already felt pleasuring to her imagination. “I would like that!”
“I will lead you to the living room, unnie!” Yeonjung exclaimed, taking Sejeong’s right hand and slowly pulling her to walk. Chaeyeon and Mina had gone off to the kitchen, if Doyeon and Jieqiong’s excited shrieks were any indications. Sejeong pretended to sniff the air, remarking about a burnt smell that must’ve come from a fish cake soup, and Yeonjung laughed along.
When Somi and Yoojung leapt up from the couch to greet and hug her, Sejeong could still feel the heat that lingered just a little above her skin, her back and knees aching. But she hugged them back, even spinning Somi around once, because the delighted laugh her dongsaengs gave made the headache she felt a tad bit easier to bear.
“How are you guys?” Sejeong cheerily asked, sitting across the two with Yeonjung settling next to her. She felt funny, still wearing the bulky coat with no less than three-layer clothes inside, so she didn’t object when Yeonjung helped her to take off the coat.
“I’m good!” Somi said, “We finally succeeded in reaching vomit.” She looked so proud.
“Eyy, really?” Sejeong chuckled, remembering Mina mumbling about the weird word game being stuck on rosin, whatever it meant.
“Google-nim remained the MVP, seriously,” Yoojung excitedly said. “We were stuck with rosin for a long time, then Nayoung unnie said we’re dumb and continued the game with robin.”
“Then we go to robie, tobie, tibit—“
“Tibit is a word?” Sejeong asked, curious.
“It’s apparently a unit of information equal to 1024 gibibits… or something,” Somi shrugged. “Jieqiong unnie was the one coming up with it.”
Jieqiong happened to enter the living room at that very moment, and Sejeong grinned at her, “Nerd.”
“Is this about the tibit thingy?” Jieqiong laughed. “I told you, it’s all Google-nim and none me.”
Yoojung snorted. “Then we continued to Tibet, tobet, topet, toper, hoper, roper—“
Sejeong laughed. “That doesn’t sound anywhere near vomit to me.”
“Aren’t you curious about what those words mean?” Somi asked.
“I do, but I’ll know when I backtrack later anyway.”
“True.” Somi paused as Sohye and Doyeon came into the living room, bouncing over to Sejeong and piling up on her, claiming that it’s a hug. “Yah, you two, Sejeong unnie isn’t coming just to be killed from lack of oxygen, you know.”
“Sorry,” Sohye sheepishly got up, while Doyeon merely rolled off to the side not occupied by Yeonjung. “Unnie! You won’t believe this, we finally managed to—“
“Reach the word vomit?” Sejeong interrupted, ruffling Sohye’s hair. “So I’ve heard. I believe you.”
“We were telling her the word chains up to roper,” Somi informed Sohye.
“What was the word after that, homer?” Doyeon wondered.
“That’s two letters changed,” Yeonjung rolled her eyes. “It’s romer.”
“Romer, homer, vomer, gomer, comer, comet,” Yoojung recounted.
“Oh,” Sejeong clapped. “That sounds way closer to vomit than roper.”
“Chungha unnie was hard at work after comet,” Jieqiong said, grinning. “She basically went back and forth with Nayoung unnie to finish it. Comet, lomet, lamet—“
“Lamut,” Somi quipped.
“Gamut,” Sohye followed.
“Gamit,” Yeonjung added.
“Gomit,” Doyeon nodded, and now all eyes were on Sejeong, causing her to laugh.
“Okay, vomit,” Sejeong finished, and the rest cheered loudly around her like little ducklings witnessing a mommy duck finishing a stand up comedy (for ducks). Sejeong shook her head, grinning fondly at them. How did they manage to creep into her heart so quickly? She had thought to not get too attached in the beginning, but look at her now…
“Okay, kids, don’t crowd around the sick person too much.”
The little ducklings quickly made room around Sejeong, Yeonjung as far as inching towards the couch’s arm the moment they heard Chungha. It was at that moment, when Sejeong lifted her gaze and found Chungha’s clear eyes, that she felt her headache easing up, the light fever she still had slowly dissipating away.
“Chungha unnie.”
The mentioned girl smiled, and Sejeong was stunned—frozen in her spot as her heart skipped. There were so many things Sejeong liked about Chungha, but her favorite was her smile—a smile that’s slow and sometimes shy, a smile that lighted up Sejeong’s world as gentle as the moonlight that creeps over when the night clouds lazily parted from one another.
“Hi, Sejeong,” came the reply, whispered softly like a calm breeze that received the heat emitting off Sejeong’s skin and eased any ache Sejeong’s experiencing, and Sejeong was only broken from her reverie when someone cleared their throat, Nayoung’s grumble of how no one helped her to bring the foods finally reaching the living room.
The little ducklings were now scrambling to their feet, hurrying to help Nayoung, leaving Chungha and Sejeong alone. There was a flicker of hesitancy in Chungha’s movement, but it was gone after a blink. The older girl walked to the couch Sejeong’s occupying, silently settling in Yeonjung’s former seat—thigh pressed against Sejeong’s warm one.
“You came,” was Chungha’s soft murmur after a breath or two, gently spoken as if any louder, and Sejeong would break.
“I’m not unwell,” Sejeong replied. It wasn’t a lie—she still felt horrible when she boarded off in front of the dorm, yes, but she felt a hundred times better now with Chungha on her side. She doesn’t know the effect she has on me, does she? She turned to face the older girl, who let out a thoughtful hum at her answer.
“What did you do that made you fall sick?”
It was Sejeong’s turn to hum, her gaze resting on Chungha’s cheek. She held her gaze there, else it would flicker somewhere—like Chungha’s lips. And then she would forget the question, and Chungha would start questioning her why.
“I practiced too much,” she managed to mumble. Chungha turned towards her, her back leaning against the comfortable cushion of the couch. There was a slight rise of her left eyebrow, and Sejeong felt an urge to run her fingers over it, smoothing the muscles, feeling Chungha’s skin against hers—
“What did you practice?”
Sejeong swallowed, mentally chanting stop thinking weird things stop thinking weird things stop thinking weird things, but Chungha’s staring into her eyes and Sejeong’s heartbeat was held captive. Damn, this can’t be healthy.
What was the question again?
“Unnie,” Sejeong hoarsely said, her lips. “Don’t you miss me?”
Chungha’s eyes widened ever so slightly, but she’s not looking away, and Sejeong’s dying to know what went through her head at that moment. She was asking it carelessly, just to mask the fact that she managed to forget Chungha’s question before her mind wandered off, but Chungha had this look on her that made Sejeong wonder—
“I do.”
Sejeong drew up a smile, although inside her heart was about to burst because holy she said she do. “Ah, I don’t miss you, though, what to do?”
“Is that so?” Chungha asked, both eyebrows raised this time. She pretended to move, her gaze never leaving Sejeong, “I shouldn’t be there, then, better to help Nayoung in the—“
She knew that Chungha was joking, but Sejeong couldn’t stop herself from reaching out to grab hold of Chungha’s hand almost immediately. “No,” she said, almost too serious to be a reply of a joke, but Sejeong couldn’t care less. “I’m just kidding. I miss you more.”
Chungha tilted her head, as if studying her reaction. And then she smiled, nodding as though she’s satisfied, before easing back to sit next to Sejeong, closer than ever. Only then did the tiny part in Sejeong’s mind, that’s constantly scared to see Chungha slipping out of her life without any notice, finally relax and fade back into the background, letting other parts to override its presence in Sejeong’s thoughts.
Nayoung, Chaeyeon, and the little ducklings had finally made it to the living room, with Somi immediately bouncing over towards the TV to set up the movie they were about to watch. Sejeong still had no idea what movie they’re going to watch, but when Chungha’s tentative fingers slowly greeted her own, slipping easily between Sejeong’s and squeezing gently her worries away, Sejeong stopped wondering.
“You can lean on my shoulder if you feel sleepy,” Chungha whispered near her ear.
“You aren’t going to tell me that I’m better off not here if the only thing I do is sleeping?” Sejeong mumbled, her head already falling snugly to the crook of Chungha’s neck.
“Well, you’re already here, aren’t you?” Chungha’s thumb was gently the back of Sejeong’s hand, and Sejeong hummed, happy.
How simple was happiness when she’s with her?
Through her heavy eyelids, Sejeong saw flickers of lights coming from the television, and there were hushed whispers, a laugh that belonged to Mina, and a grumble from Yoojung whose snack was stolen by Doyeon. The movie was starting, and Sejeong started to wonder if the medicine Kim Nayoung fed her with had side-effects that worked late.
She hadn’t been sleepy before she arrived there, but now all she wanted to do was to close her eyes and sleep.
“Sejeong?”
She felt amost like she was flying, but her ears picked up Chungha’s soft whisper, and her mind zoned into that comfortable voice almost too easily.
“Mm?”
There was a slight pause, as though Chungha was hesitating. It wasn’t until Sejeong’s eyes completely closed that she heard words again,
“Is love always like butterflies to you?”
Sejeong felt a wistful tug somewhere in her heart, Chungha’s asking me about love. A completely sober Sejeong would fret, thinking what if Chungha’s falling for someone, but a sleepy-induced-by-medicine Sejeong merely smiled, though her brain felt even more like floating, like she wasn't there no longer, and only Chungha’s warmth next to her kept her from thinking she’s not with Chungha anymore.
“Love…”
It was unfortunate, Sejeong thought, that she would probably drift off to sleep and never manage to tell Chungha her answer. It was unfortunate that she’d probably trail off, never finishing her words, because her soul’s already slipping off into a dreamland full of rainbows and unicorns.
But if Chungha still could hear her, she’d tell her—
“Love is when I don’t have to set apart time to think about you…”
“Because you never really leave my mind.”
Was it normal to feel like your body was lighter than a balloon? Damn, what kind of powerful stuff was Nayoung seriously fed her with? If only she wasn’t so out of it, Sejeong would snort, because even in the midst of this floating sensation, her mind was picturing Chungha, sweet beautiful Chungha, standing in front of her wearing a wedding dress, setting off warmth inside Sejeong like dawn over the sea.
And then it was easy.
It was easy to tell what love was. It was easy because Sejeong's under its spell right now, willingly drowning in the nameless feeling—except it wasn't really nameless, not anymore.
“Love is when even at the moment I’m leaning between awake and asleep...”
“I think about you, smiling in front of me.”
The last thing Sejeong felt was a pair of lips gently pressing against her temple,
tender,
undemanding,
reassuring,
close.
After a bout of warm dark, Sejeong dreamt of kohl-black eyes and chaste kisses that night.
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