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“What are you talking about Sica?”

“You heard me.  Now answer me.”

“…Yeah, of course.  She’s my best best best-est friend.  In the whole wide world.  Even in this situation.  This crappy broken friendship we are experiencing right now…”

Ignoring the fact that Taeyeon had basically just told her that she thought of Tiffany as more of a best friend than herself, she didn’t really care.  In fact, it’s what she wanted Taeyeon to realize. 

“No.  I mean.  In a different way.”

“What other way is there?”

“Oh my God, Taeyeon, stop taking things so literally.  Why do you always have to play with words?  What I mean is, do you think of Tiffany in that way?”

“Dammit, Sica.  WHAT WAY?”

“For goodness sake,” she face palmed herself before shouting, “DO YOU LIKE TIFFANY?”

Surprised was all Taeyeon’s face expressed.

“…Wait, do you mean like, like like?”

“No crap I mean like like.”

“…What kind of a question is that Sica?  Why would I ever like like my best friend?  And she’s even a girl!”

“How am I supposed to know?!  That’s the only reasonable explanation I can think of.  It’s probably much better than whatever you came up with, cough cough Tiffany is stubborn and you are wise cough cough.  If you are wise, Taeyeon, then I wake up at 6 am every morning to go jogging.”  Jessica was clearly frustrated.

Still processing this inside her head, Taeyeon couldn’t help but think that it all made sense.  But she couldn’t accept it.  What is this crazy girl telling me?  That I like girls?  No way.

“I-I – ”

“Think about it Tae, you don’t have to rush these things… but really think carefully.  I’m only trying to help.”  She gave a soft smile.

“Thanks, Sica.  Thanks.  Really.”

“My pleasure,” she smiled again.

After Jessica left the shorter girl, she went straight to her room and lay down on her bed.  My bed is always my best friend.  It’s been there for me, through everything.  It’s seen me laugh, cry, stress…everything.  And it never leaves.

Staring at the ceiling, all she could think about was what had just happened.  Is what Sica said true?  Do I really have feelings for my best friend?  Is that why I’m always worrying about her, and I can’t even think straight?  Sigh…Maybe a good night sleep would make me feel better.  She was so wrong; that whole night, she couldn’t stop thinking about it.

--

Tiffany, after hearing what Taeyeon had said, also didn’t get much sleep.  Her bother was different from Taeyeon’s bother, but it still bothered her very much.  What if everything Tae-tae said was true? She was starting to doubt her oppa.  But she couldn’t bring herself to think about her oppa that way.  She had always known the good side of her oppa, always caring, never doing anything that would hurt her.  She didn’t want to think about it, and decided to trust her oppa instead, after what Taeyeon had done.

She called her oppa.  “Oppa!  Do you want to meet today?  We haven’t done much in a while…”

“… Okay sure… I kind of wanted to tell you something too.  Meet at the usual place later okay?”

“Sure, oppa.  See you there.”

--

On the other side of the line, that oppa was doing things that nobody would ever want to see.

“Who—was—uh—that?”

“Just that chick.  Don’t worry, I’m breaking it off with her later,” he managed to say while catching his breath.

--

Just then, a wandering Taeyeon bumped into a waiting Tiffany.

“Hi,” the shorter one managed to say.

“Hi.”

“How is everything?”

“Fine.”

“Did he try anything on you?”

“Do you STILL believe that he’s going to dump me?”

“Well I did hear him say it, straight from his mouth.  So, yeah.”

“Then move.  He even says he’s meeting me here later.”

“Then I’ll stay here.  I’m not letting him do anything.”

“Fine.  Do as you wish.  But we’re leaving later anyways.”

At that moment, they heard a scream from the bathroom.  Both were concerned so they decided to barge into the bathroom, fearing something serious had happened.

As they opened the door, four pairs of eyes began staring at each other.  It was such a disturbing sight, that the two wished they never had to witness.  Taeyeon finally came to her senses and quickly looked at Tiffany.  The latter had a look of disbelief on her face, filled with complete shock.  Her senses also kicked in, and she turned and ran away, tears began to stream down her face.

Taeyeon realized what had just happened.  “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO.  YOU DIRTY, GROSS, SCUMBAGS.”  And she kicked him where it hurts most. 

She also turned and ran, more concerned about Tiffany than that retard.

“Fany!! Wait up!”

But it was too late.  There was no sign of her whatsoever.  “Dammit.  Fany-ah, where have you gone?”

She immediately called Jessica and explained to her everything that had happened, and they searched all over town to find the girl.  But there was no such luck.

--

It was night time, and both girls had been exhausted searching everywhere they possibly could, looking for the girl.

Taeyeon and Jessica both decided it was too dark and too late to continue the search, and both headed home.

As Taeyeon walked closer to her house, she saw a figure sitting by her door.  It can’t be…

She walked closer, and her thoughts were confirmed.

“TIFFANY!”  She ran to the girl and embraced her in the tightest hug possible.

“…Tae-tae… help me…” She looked lifeless.  As if something had the soul completely out of her.  Taeyeon couldn’t help but cry at this sight.

“Fany, get up.  How long have you been sitting here?  You know you’re going to get sick!  Get up and come in.”

She was so weak and drained of energy that she couldn’t even do that simple request. 

“…I can’t.  Tae-tae…”

With her small body, Taeyeon did all she could to carry the taller girl and into the house.  Her hands and feet were colder than ever, and her face was completely pale.

“Oh my God, Fany.  How long were you out there?” Taeyeon’s tears had fallen out of her eyes.

“…I don’t know…” Another lifeless response from Tiffany.

“Fany-ah.  Please don’t do this, you’re scaring me.  So much.  Don’t do this.  I’m scared…”

With a weak smile, Fany tried to comfort her.  “Don’t worry…Tae…I’m…fine.”

“No you’re not!  Hwang Miyoung!  Do you know how much I worried about you?!  How long I went to search for you!  Do you know how much I care for you?!”  The tears didn’t stop.

By this time, Tiffany was barely awake.  Every energy particle in her body had been out.  And slowly, she fell asleep.

Fany-ah, do you know how much I worried about you?  How much I just want to hold you in my arms and tell you that I can make everything better?

It was that night that Taeyeon realized everything Jessica said was true.  She didn’t know when it started, or what started it through the many years of their friendship, but seeing Tiffany like that made her heart break into a million little pieces.  Tiffany was hurting; it’s a fact, but Taeyeon was hurting even more seeing her like this.

--

The next day was much better.  Tiffany looked like a human being again, but still didn’t respond much to anything.  And Taeyeon decided to do everything she could to take care of Tiffany.

There was a sudden whisper.

“I’m sorry.”

“…Did you say something Fany-ah?”

“Yeah… I’m sorry Tae-tae.”

“About what?  Don’t be sorry, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“No.  I have to apologize..  Sorry I didn’t listen to you.”

“Don’t think about that right now!  I never blamed you.”

“I’m still sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

“Why do you care?”

“What?”

“About me.  Why do you care so much?  I would have expected you to laugh in my face and tell me ‘haha!  Told you so!’ after how I treated you.”

“…Don’t be so childish.  We’re not five years old, Fany-ah.”

“But why…?”

I wish I could just tell you that it’s because I have feelings for you Tiffany, the girl thought. 

“Because… you are my best friend.  And I can’t bear to see you hurt.”

“But… how I treated you.  Aren’t you mad?”

“Again, Fany, we aren’t five.”

“I sure acted like I was… I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying sorry.”

“Sorry.”

“UGHH.  Enough with the sorry… anyways, are you feeling alright?”

“I would be lying if I said I was.”

“Don’t think about it too much.  He’s a jerk, and you deserve so much better than him.”

“Thanks, Tae.  I should have listened to you to begin with.”

“It’s not your fault.  He was manipulative.”

“It is my fault, for falling for him… But he was so nice, so perfect,” tears started gathering up in her eyes again.

Taeyeon went over and hugged the crying girl.  She wished she could stay there and hold her like that forever, but she knew she couldn’t.

--

Tiffany had been staying with Taeyeon ever since the incident.  And although she acted fine most of the time, at night, she could hear the girl crying.  In the morning, she would have puffy eyes and Taeyeon noticed this.  She just never mentioned it.

Days went on normally, for the most part.  They resumed school, and that “oppa” had disappeared.  They were glad, for their sake, and for his sake.

But no matter how much time was given for Tiffany to recover, she never returned to the old shining, smiling, Tiffany anymore.  There were rarely any eye-smiles now, and her personality became cold.  She liked living with Taeyeon so she stayed there, but even at home, they barely talked.  And if they did, it was usually about school matters.

--

It was another night time at Taeyeon’s house and she suddenly heard sobs coming out of the bathroom.

“Fany?  Are you in there?”

No response.

“Fany-ah.  Open the door.”

She unlocked the door.

“Fany-ah, please don’t cry.  It breaks my heart to see you like this,” Taeyeon once again wrapped her arms around Tiffany calming the younger girl.

“I’m sorry Tae-tae, I just can’t help it.  Every time I think about him, I remember all our memories, and all the good times we had… I can’t forget them…”

“It’s the past now.  You have to learn to move on.”

“But I can’t Tae-tae… I gave the best six months of my life to him.  I miss him so much…”

Taeyeon’s heart dropped.  It felt like someone had stabbed her in the heart, but she wasn’t able to die.  “Fany-ah, he didn’t deserve you.  You can get so much better than him.  Why do you keep dwelling on him?  He didn’t treat you half as well as I- ” she stopped herself before she finished.  “As well as someone else could have treated you!”

Luckily Tiffany didn’t notice her small mistake.

“But he was the best thing that ever happened to me… Tae-tae, I’m such a fool.  I can’t even let him go, even though he was such a bad person.  I just can’t.  I never felt this way about another guy…”

Taeyeon didn’t talk back; all she did was keep the girl she loved in her arms trying to comfort her.  “It’s alright.  Cry it all out on me.”

“Why are you so nice to me?  Tae-tae, you don’t have to do this, you know that.”

“I do it because I want to Fany-ah, not because I have to.”

“I don’t deserve your efforts.  It’s all being wasted anyways, I’m not recovering…”

Never ever say that Tiffany Hwang, because you are worth all my efforts.  I will always be here for you whenever you need me.  Always.

“You will one day.  And until then, I’m here for you, as your best friend,” she smiled to her, and for once in a long time, Tiffany genuinely smiled back.

--

Tiffany’s condition gradually improved as the days passed, but Taeyeon had also become busier and busier.  Her father had recently fallen sick, and Taeyeon had to take up a lot of the family work, which meant spending less time with Tiffany.

She thought that Tiffany had been handling it pretty well, and it would not be necessary to keep as close of a watch on her now.  But Tiffany was still broken.  Jessica was not able to help much because she lived further away, and the two barely talk now, after everything that had happened. 

Without anybody constantly spending time with Tiffany, she wasn’t able to think straight again.  She depended on activities to get her mind off of things.  And one of these activities was drinking.  She knew very well that she was underage, but she didn’t care.  As long as she looked the part, there was nothing the people could do about it.

Taeyeon slowly began to learn about her drinking habits. “Yah!  Quit drinking won’t you!  You’re underage for goodness sakes!”

“What can you do about it?  You love me too much,” she was drunk while saying this, but it hit Taeyeon hard, because every word was true.

“Just stop.  Okay?  I don’t want to see you like this.  Wasted and all.  Just don’t.  You’re killing yourself.”  And you’re killing me on the inside.

“I can’t.  I started, I can’t go back anymore.  Taeyeon-ah.  You don’t spend time with me, Sica is not even in my life anymore, so I depend on other things.”  She raised her beer bottle.

Taeyeon slowly realized that she had caused the girl she loves to become like this.  Dammit, why don’t I notice these things?  Why didn’t she just ask me to be with her?  Instead of resorting to methods like this.

“Please, I’m begging you.  Don’t do this to you, to me.”

“You don’t even care about me anymore, you lied!” She was clearly drunk.

“I do! I do I do I do I do I do!  You’re the world to me Fany-ah!”  By now, she doubted Tiffany could even understand speech.

The drowsy looking girl pounced herself onto the older girl.  “Tae-tae, I’m hurt.  I’m getting all those feelings again…about him.  I feel empty, that’s why I drink.  I’m sorry Tae-tae…”

“Sigh… It’s okay Fany-ah, just please sto—”

She felt a pair of lips silence her.  Fany, what on earth are you doing? 

Taeyeon was finally able to pull free of the sudden contact.  “Yah!  Hwang Miyoung, what do you think you’re doing?”  She pushed the girl off her.

Tiffany looked hurt, her eyes filled with tears.  It looked as if you had come back to her senses.  “…Sorry, tae-tae.  I’m so sorry.”  She held her face in her hands and started crying.

Understanding Tiffany’s situation, Taeyeon felt guilty.

“No, I’m the one who should be sorry.  I promised I would always be here for you didn’t I?  I’m not a good friend…”

Upon hearing this, Tiffany didn’t know what to feel.  She knew that she was hurt, and that she was far from recovered from the original heartbreak.  She realized she had just done something completely bizarre and probably could never face Taeyeon again.  So she stood up and walked towards the door.

“Wait, Fany-ah.  Come back.”

She turned back, and Taeyeon approached her with open arms.  She accepted the hug, and when she looked at Taeyeon’s face, all she saw was concern and even pity.  She didn’t care.  She needed comfort, and Taeyeon was there for her that moment.  She held her face gently with one hand, and asked for permission.  “Can I…?”

Taeyeon knew she had to do this, even if it wouldn’t be fair for herself.  For Tiffany’s sake, for her happiness, for her comfort.  “…Go ahead.”

Tiffany released all her feelings onto the sympathetic Taeyeon.  Taeyeon could feel the coldness of Tiffany’s hands on her body, and the empty meaning of their contacting lips.  Tiffany was just doing this out of lust, and Taeyeon knew.  She knew she was being used, but she didn’t care.  All she wants is Tiffany’s happiness, and she would do anything for her.  Even if it meant being used like this forever.

Fany-ah, you know why I’m doing this for you right?  It’s because I love you too much.  I don’t want to be friends with benefits, it’s just wrong.  But you are my happiness, and I’m fine with anything you do.  Even if it means you taking advantage of me, and playing with my feelings.  I know you don’t know what I feel for you, but I’m willing to do anything for you.

After they parted, and were calming down, the sounds of breathing, panting, as well as nothingness were broken by a voice.

“Tae-tae, can you promise me something?”

“…huh?  Oh.  Of course.  Anything.”

“Okay.  You said you would promise.”

“Yes, and I stick to my word.” 

The girl turned towards the shorter girl, with her sparkling dark orbs, looking deep into her eyes.

“Can you promise me, that you’ll never fall in love with me?”

TBC

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thanks for all the comments btw. lolol.