“Where are they?” Changmin back and forth checks his watch. He pouts unconsciously. It’s already past six but no one come to their meeting places. No one there and Changmin has to wait alone with only bulbs of lights on every corner of the hall. It’s still too dark for Changmin’s preference though but he will use what he can get.

The cloud outside already changing its color into dark blue. But still no one appears, not even his year student. Where is Minji? Wasn’t she say they will meet here? But she’s even late?

Changmin has this urge to go and leave that place as soon as possible. With every seconds pass, it means the night keeps getting deeper and deeper. Hospital, morgue, and night never be friendly to Changmin. His phobia might acting weird and he’s getting too sensitive over things that he thought never exist on the first place.

Like right now.

He chants the There is no ghost spell countless times inside his head. But Changmin keeps on hearing something. A sound of an opened door. But after that, no more sound follows. Is that normal? Or is that the security that patrolling around? But if there is someone, isn’t Changmin might heard footsteps afterwards? Yet Changmin hears nothing. His cowardly instinct tells him to stay alert. The scared boy grabs anything around him that can he used to protect himself. Changmin knows if ghost is not effected with physical things, but Changmin can’t risk it. He has to grip on something just to make him feels less scared.

Brak! Bruk! Crangg!!!

Changmin jumps from his seat. He can’t stay silent any longer. Something is there and that thing is definitely getting nearer to him. The second sound is way too close. Changmin can imagine it was a sound from a falling bucket and toiletries. On the way there, Changmin saw those things on the most corner of the hall.

Is that mean, there is something now on that corner? That thing is on the same floor as him?!

“K..Kyu..uuu” Changmin’s hands tremble. The grip on the wood stick is getting harder. He chants his best friend name unconsciously. Changmin’s eyes get blurred with warm tears coating. He knows saying his friend name won’t help him much but… No Changmin. You can’t probably crying here. Crying won’t solve anything.

But Changmin can’t stop the tears to filling his eyes pocket. He steps back from his initial seat, far to the most corner of the hall. He squats down to help his tall body getting covered. It’s so scary. The corridor is so dark, Changmin can’t see anything outside the hall.

For a brief moment, just a very brief. Changmin notices a shadow across the corridor.

WHAT!! WHAT IS THATT!!!

Changmin screams inside his head. He’s already too scared to let out any muffled sound of his cry. He becomes tense all over, the tears already fall to his cheeks. Changmin can’t possibly hold anymore. He’s too scared to be there.

Now there is this footsteps sound. It comes from the opposite direction. What? Now there is two?!

Changmin covers his mouth with his hands to prevent him crying out loud. The tears re-flooding his cheeks like a broken dam. He’s swear not to scream whatever he sees from outside. He has to get out from there.

And now the sound of the opened door again. But it’s the hall door that’s being opened. Changmin’s breath hitched and a sudden panic attack come to him. Sweats covering all over his body, his heart thumping so fast, and Changmin can’t control his emotion anymore. He falls down to the chair in front of him with a loud thump. His legs gives up to hold his body.

“…Changmin??”

Changmin is too scared to notice who calling for his name is. He’s too scared to look at his surroundings. He’s too occupied with the unreal ghost that flying around the hall. He’s too buried with his own imagination of things. His body gets rigid and no matter what calls for his presence is not work.

“I’m sorry Changmin. I don’t know you are this scared. Are you alright??”

That voice whispers again and again to him. It’s telling him not to worry and others but Changmin still can’t release himself from the nightmare. Something is coming to him from the dark corner. It must be ghost. It is a ghost. Changmin sees ghost!

“Changmin! Look at me! Look! I’m not going to hurt you. I’m coming to help.”

Changmin’s cheeks is cupped to recognize the owner of the voice. His blurred eyes slowly getting clearer as his mind becomes calmer even though in snail speed.

“J-Ju-Junsu h-hyung…”

“Yes! It’s me Changmin!” Changmin is hugged, so close until he can feel the erratic heartbeat of the other. “You are save now. Don’t worry. Okay?”

The flood of tears keep on wetting his eyes, even now wetting the front side of his senior’s white coat. Changmin clutches on it like a lifeline. The more he cries, the more he can’t let it loose. He keeps saying the name of his savior between his sobs. He feels so relieve that someone coming and get him out from that creepy place. He finally safe. Changmin can’t help it to bury his face further to Junsu spontaneously. He cries to his heart content.

“It’s okay Changmin. You are fine now.” A hand moves circling his back. Another arm holds him tight. Changmin somehow feels save despite the roaring heartbeat and crying eyes. He still can’t get a hold on his emotion. He pours it out openly.

Slowly, Changmin starts to grasp the situation. He doesn’t know how long he’s been in that place after the sudden intrusion. But, he knows exactly that he’s crying and holding closely to his senior. He grips tight the older in uncomfortable position. His cries turns into sobs but his cheeks only getting warmer. Changmin doesn’t know what he should do. He doesn’t dare himself to move any inch.

“You feel better?”

The sudden question stops his train of thought. Changmin nods to the chest he’s been holding close.

“Still crying?”

Changmin’s face forced to look up and meets another beautiful tadpole eyes. Changmin never saw anyone’s eyes this close. He feels like he can just look at that deep dark eyes forever.

“What are you afraid for?”

Changmin’s eyes is rubbed from the remnant of his tears. Both eyes. He doesn’t feel scared anymore.  Any weird imagination inside his head is kicked out already from his head. Another tickling feeling seeps into his chest and Changmin’s brain busy with how warm Junsu’s touch on his face and leaves a warm patch trail on his skin. He can’t think straight and feels a little bit light.

“You afraid of ghost? Or me?”

“Nnnnn…” Changmin shakes his head.

“I thought of surprising you.” The beady eyes glisten naughtily yet so bright from the older. “But seems like I over did it.” Changmin receives a wink.

He can feel the warmness that crawling from his chest to his neck, his cheeks, and his ears. He’s trapped to look back at the shining eyes that makes his heartbeat skip into another.

“Changmin, stop seeing me like that.” The older leans closer. Changmin’s breathing pace almost stops because Junsu hyung is so close, their nose almost bumps into each other. “I can think of something else to you.”

In reflex, Changmin dives down, hides his own blushes from the older. He can feel the warm feeling creeping into his face and ears. It’s bad. He feels strangely lighter and dizzier. What is this?

“It’s already dark.” Junsu says.

Changmin forgets in a while that they are staying in the dark side of the hospital which the only lights come from the classroom. Once again he gulps down his nervous.

“Let’s go.” Junsu longs his hand to Changmin. “We have to go back now or we can only escape from here tomorrow morning.”

T-tomorrow morning?!!

Changmin hurriedly takes the longed hand to stand up without think twice anymore. And almost immediately he regrets that. His hand still has this mild tremble and sweating a lot from the previous incident. What if that disturb Junsu hyung? What if he feels disgusted with his wet hand? What if Junsu hyung thought he is a very bad scaredy cat? A coward? What if Junsu hyung hates him after they go back to their perspective dormitories? What if tomorrow Changmin won’t get a greeting from his senior? What if Changmin..

“Don’t be scared Changmin. It will be just fine.” Changmin receives a mild squeeze. “I’m sorry if I over did it.”

It’s the only phrase Junsu utters when they walk back and it halts everything that works on his head. Changmin almost can’t feel the ground he walks anymore. His steps feel too light. Like he’s walking on the clouds. How can he easily feels save when Junsu hyung only leads him out and showing his back to Changmin? It needs quiet sometimes for Changmin not to feel intimidate and scared with Kyuhyun and Minho. It’s only after he trusted them that they won’t do any harm to him and finally Changmin not feels scared anymore.

But with his senior, it’s barely 2 weels they start to really really talk. Changmin knows the senior. He knows by names and good work ethic the senior shows to his clerkship assignments. But other than that, Changmin only knows it by now. Is he doing this a lot to his other friends? Even to his other junior too? Does he longed his hand to them just like what he did to Changmin? That means he’s just the same as those people. Changmin doesn’t like to be the same as those people.

“We can still finish the report tomorrow. Don’t worry.”

They arrive into Changmin’s bedroom door again. It’s already twice in the week that the older sends Changmin back. Slowly Changmin just realizes there is another first year student on the corridor and fall their eyes on him curiously. He dives down to hide his face. Why are these people look at him like that?

Their linked hand still not dropped off, and Changmin is the one who broke the connected fingers. Maybe there are countless people who holds that hands just like he did earlier. Don’t think anything stupid like Junsu hyung might treat you special or anything Changmin. You will be very disappointed.

“What are you thinking?”

Changmin’s wrinkled temple pokes by a lean finger that startles his concentration. Junsu hyung’s beady eyes shone curiously at his own and Changmin’s heart almost jump out from his chest. He can’t describe his own feeling at the time. What he knows is he can’t think clearly and he needs to sort this out later asap. “N-Not..” Speak normally voice! It is very not cool. “Nothing..”

A mischief grin pastes all over the older’s face. “Stop thinking so hard or you will hear a girl crying voice from the corridor at midnight. And then she will ask you..”

Junsu stops when he notices the glassy surfaces coating the younger’s eyes.

“No no no no.. I don’t mean it.” Junsu tries to calm down the younger from his jokes. “I’m joking.. It’s not real..”

When Changmin’s tears is rubbed off, the older chuckles lightly. It makes Changmin feels so weird.

“You are sure a scaredy cat..”

Changmin small sobs hinders his voice. “I-is it b-bad?”

“In some ways.” Junsu makes a thinking pose. “But…” Changmin waits for the continuation in full concentration yet.. “…nevermind. I will go back now.”

The tall latter silently feels disappointed. Whatever you think about, don’t show it to Junsu hyung. How embarrassing is that?

“No goodbye for me?”

“G-good night.. hyung..” Changmin is too busy teaching his voice and mind to listen not to embarrass him further. He doesn’t dare to look up or see Junsu hyung back.

“Good night too.”

A soft brush on his head and warm good night greeting him back is totally enough to make Changmin can’t sleep for another hours ahead. Or maybe even makes him skip dinner because Changmin’s heartbeat telling him that something is really happening. And it needs his big concern to realize what’s wrong with him when he’s around a person name Kim Junsu.

-----

Long story short, it’s morning already. Changmin needs to get up, although he feels like being stuck down by a giant bolster. Changmin skipped dinner, which cause Kyuhyun had to call him for numerous times and asked what’s wrong, he shrugged it. Changmin couldn’t sleep until three or four in the morning, he fell asleep because his brain is too tired and not because of his body need to. Definitely not a very start for his morning.

He wakes up late. Class will start in another half hour. He knows soon or later Kyuhyun might knock for his door, judging from the time, it’s not that long anymore. So he brushes his teeth, washes his face, makes himself look at least presentable to attend his class before grabbing his own short sleeves white coat. And maybe he will skip breakfast too. Because there is no time. But Changmin doesn’t feel that hungry. After last night he’s contemplating and thinking deep and fighting with his unknown pride, at least he got his answer to all weird being happen to him.

Changmin likes Junsu. And he Like likes really like him so much.

It explains how Changmin’s crazy heartbeat starts kicking every time Junsu is around. It explains too how that weird stomach flipping feeling was happened a lot. But last night he did those crying pose in front of Junsu’s shirt. And clearly not fail to make a river trail on his white coat too. Great job Changmin. That is very very embarrassing.

He likes Junsu hyung. He chants it on his mind and his heart until he losses counts. But every time Changmin tries to say it with his own voice, he failed miserably. The clear sound of his confession are only I and you. What’s that I and you? No one will understand what he’s saying! Even the genius won’t know it. And Junsu is not a genius. Changmin sure he won’t be able to say it no matter what happen. No matter how much he wants to say it loud. He sense a grim cloud about can’t deliver his own new feelings.

Kyuhyun picks him up and the two left for morning class.

“You meet with Sadako last night or what?”

Changmin’s rather blueish eyes said it all.

“Have you had breakfast?”

The tall latter shakes his head. “Wake up late, not enough time.”

“You skipped dinner Min. You know presentation day is just some days ahead. And it holds almost forty percent of our final score.”

“I’m fine.” Changmin shrugs Kyuhyun’s warning. “I can manage.”

“Canteen. Let’s try to get some tidbits for breakfast.”

“Not that hungry.” Changmin’s brain is already filled with how Junsu hyung looked at him the last few days.

“And WHY are you NOT HUNGRY?! You are always hungry Min!” Kyuhyun palms Changmin’s head. “You sick?”

“No. I will know myself if I am sick.” Changmin squats Kyuhyun’s arm.

They go to class and sit in the very front row. The back side is occupied with those popular bad asses circle, including Kim Minji’s cliques. They already give him and Kyuhyun a disinterest look for his upcoming and Changmin can greatly ignore it. His mind is a mess already. This morning is a junior class only. It means their senior might be attending laboratories class this morning. They always switch turn to use the labs. It can’t fit twenty students at the time.

“Hey Minah, any news from that stupid line?” Kyuhyun sits beside the half Japanese girl. They know each other from their group assignment. Changmin feels Minah is a good girl too.

“They asked me to sit here because they think they are too cool to sit with us.” Minah scoffs.

“They are just too stupid.” Kyuhyun’s turn to scoff.

“Something happened? Bad day?” Minah looks at Changmin’s not so good condition.

“Nah, I’m fine. dr. Gravy’s thanatology class now right?”

Minah sends an asking gaze, Kyuhyun replies with unknowing look. Something is happen yet Changmin keeping it for himself. He will say it if it’s the right time.

Instead off their doctor consulant, their resident is show up for the class. Yunho sunbaenim teaches classes replacing dr. Gravy’s.

“, I have one more essay left to submit to him today.” Kyuhyun counts on his paper.

“Are you sure you are not writing it? Or you just left it behind?” The girl beside Kyuhyun helps him to check.

“I was asleep last night. Some friend of mine making me worried over nothing.” He looks at his right.

Changmin is too busy watching his book blankly.

“Is he like that frequently?” Minah whispers due to Changmin’s weird being since morning.

“Not most of the time, but when he is, it means he is in a very serious thought and it won’t stop until he finds his own solving.”

Minah nods. “Then he is just fine. I will take the notes, you better write down your paper quickly. I bet he will ask that after class.”

Kyuhyun thanks the Japanese girl to be his savior of the day. The blush on the girl’s cheeks goes unseen from him.

In the middle of the class, Kim Jaejoong sunbaenim spends some time with Yunho sunbaenim and they talk rather long. The class get a little break earlier to stretch out their cramped muscle from writing too much. It’s entering Minah’s third pages just for the first forty five minutes since the lesson begin. She once again checks the previous pages whether she left some misspell or wrong words. Kyuhyun too immersed with his late assignment.

“Shim Changmin, you sure look not good.”

“Eh?” The tall latter looks up to find his resident sends him a look.

“You are exempted from this class. Go to clinic and take some rest. I will open additional class later for some subjects, including thanatology.”

“Umm.. But..”

“No more but. Notes? Your friend will give you one, don’t you?” Jaejoong sunbaenim gives Kyuhyun a look.

It’s the first time Kyuhyun being shoot by that black doe sharp eyes so close. Kim Jaejoong sunbaenim famous for his brave decision and fast responds. No one can say no. He is a charmer too. But too many people become his victim of rejection each time they confess.

“Y-yes sunbaenim.”

“Go now or I will reduce your credit score by myself.”

Changmin can say nothing anymore. “Yes sunbaenim.”

It’s daylight outside and the sun is shine brightly. Isn’t liking people should be look like this great weather? But why Changmin feels so frustrated? It suffocates him that he can’t sleep. He doesn’t feel that hungry. He can’t think straight. He distracted very much on the class. He feels tired too, well that’s because of the lack of sleep.

He knocks the clinic’s door but no one inside. The door signs that the doctor is on break. Changmin asks permission to the head nurse and gets it to take a rest. He walks inside and found the most inner bed is unused. The one on the opposite is closed by the curtain. Someone maybe inside.

Changmin rolls down to bed and hopes to get a good rest for a while. He feels sorry to make Kyuhyun had to receive a glare from his resident. He feels sorry that he has to skip class. But in some ways, he thinks his own body really needs a good rest, maybe he can think clearly again later. His eyelids start to flutter. Changmin feels like dozing off bit by bit every second. Before finally the need of rest consumes him completely.

<3