§§§§§

Someone was going through his kitchen when he walked through the door. Excited, Sehun hurried forward calling out, “Namjoo?”

The exhileration in his expression died when he saw that it was just his mother. “You’re back?”

Glancing at the counter he recognized Namjoo’s set of keys and realized his mother probably borrowed it from her.

“Your father and I are going back today,” she explained fussing with some food on the counter in front of her. “I was worried you aren’t eating well and I guess a mother’s instinct knows best. Look at all that leftover in the fridge. The food has gone bad and you still haven’t thrown them out. This is why men need women.”

His fridge was opened and all the contents inside had been cleared out.

“I brought some food over,” she told. “Heat them up and eat them. Throw them out tomorrow afternoon if you don’t finish them. It’s bad for your stomach. Oh, you haven’t gone over to see Namjoo yet?”

“No.”

“Make some time. Work can always come later,” the woman wisely said. “It’s what I always tell your father.”

Sehun almost wanted to tell her that Namjoo might not want to see him.

“Women get depressed easily, you know,” his mother turned around to look at him. “When Namjoo comes home stop staying late for work. Come home early and take her out on a walk or have a nice dinner at some fancy restaurant to cheer her up. You two can have another baby later, but right now you should focus on her. She needs all the support she can get.”

“Would that,” he wondered, “really cheer her up?”

“Shouldn’t you know better than me?” his mother asked with a smile.

§§§§§

Another week went by since Sehun visited. She often got texts from him which she rarely looked at. He still called and she still didn’t pick up. She just didn’t have the heart to reply or answer. Yunyeong had been right all along that she would someday hurt herself. Namjoo was too overwhelmed with pain right now that she didn’t want to put in any more effort into anything. And she was losing faith in Sehun, in herself.

Maybe it was finally time to call it quits with her feelings.

By the end of the second week at her parents her mother took her out one afternoon. They stopped for coffee, had some bread for breakfast, and then visited a museum. It was like a trip she’d taken with her parents when she was still a kid. For lunch, they ate at her place of choice. To end the day her mother drove them to a flower garden where they mulled over the beautifully grown plants and nature.

“Isn’t this a pretty bunch,” her mother pointed toward some moon flowers.

“They’re pretty.” Namjoo agreed.

Climbing the stairs to see the view from the top her mother commented, “You know, the world is a pretty place, too.”

Namjoo frowned with a confused smile, “You’re sentimental today, mom.”

“It’s nice to be out, isn’t it?” her mother asked.

Looking around Namjoo shrugged. All she saw was the blue sky, some clouds, the shining sun, and some people down below taking pictures with their loved ones. Their happiness, the love for each other, and the peace surrounding the day was undetected to her eyes. “I suppose.”

“Say yes,” her mother encouraged. “You get depressed if you stay in too long. Smell the air, look at the people around you, and laugh a little. That makes life a little better.” The woman gave her a pat on the shoulder, “You know what I’m talking about?”

Namjoo got the hunch of her mother’s words, but it couldn’t stop her from growing sad. She only nodded in understanding.

On the way home Namjoo had to admit that she didn’t really feel any better, even when it was obvious what she was missing out on. She knew her mother meant well trying to cheer her up. Namjoo was aware she was still young and had a long way to go. There were many more obstacles to face and much more to learn from those difficulties. Yet, telling her to get herself together right now just wasn’t working.

“Your father comes home late today,” her mother began. “Wonder what I’ll make for him for dinner.” Looking at her her mother asked, “I wonder what Sehun will be having?”

Namjoo couldn’t meet her mother’s eyes.

“Namjoo-ya,” her mother called with a motherly tone, “what’s going on? Why aren’t you going home?”

How could she ever, in her right mind, tell her mother about Sehun’s other woman? How could she ever let their parents know about Seona?

“Tell me. What’s wrong?” her mother urged.

Namjoo choked back tears but they still flooded down her face anyway. All the stress she’d been trying to cope with crashed down on her. She ended up wiping the tears effortlessly. Sniffling she apologized, “I’m sorry, mom. For lying that I was pregnant with his baby and for embarrassing you and dad, and I still ended up like this.”

“You know that’s not the problem,” her mother said. “Marriage is filled with a lot of surprises, it gets you hurt, makes you happy, make you cry, and then you’re happy again. It’s silly, but still something precious. I know that a lot of things must have happened. You and Sehun have grown up together but being married can also be different from being friends.”

Pulling into their driveway her mother turned the engine off and fully shifted to face her. Taking her hands into hers the woman said, “Sehun asked a lot of questions when he came over last week. What to make for you, what kinds of food would be good, and how to best prepare them. If you’re having a hard time, your husband will have it twice as hard. Let it out and let him know.”

Namjoo scoffed unable to take her mother’s words seriously because Sehun…was just Sehun.

“Why don’t you go back first?” her mother suggested. “If you don’t want to now, you may never go back again and in the future you may regret not doing it now. Don’t live life like that.”

Would it be like that? What if doing this now would keep her from hurting further?

“I’m scared, mom,” Namjoo admitted tearfully. “It hurts.”

“A lot will hurt,” her mother wisely told touching her face, “but it can get better too. It always does. Go on home and if it doesn’t work out, you can always come back. Your father and I will always be here waiting.” Pinching her cheek playfully and affectionately she promised, “We always have your back.”

§§§§§

That evening someone was in his kitchen again and this time it wasn’t his mother. Sehun hurried through the short corridor to find the invader. Fresh food was steaming on the kitchen table and Namjoo at the stove. The sight of her immediately had his insides screaming in joy. Suddenly energetic from a stressful day at work he walked right up to her, laying eyes on her as if he’d never seen her before.

“You’re home,” he stated with a broad smile. Looking at the food on the stove he commented, “Looks delicious.”

There was a forlorn look in Namjoo’s eyes before she lifted the bowl she’d been scooping soup into up and turned around.

“I’ll get that,” he quickly offered taking the bowl from her. “Your arm’s still hurt.”

He was happy and determined to do anything to make her happy. He was going to make up for all that he had lacked. He would listen to his mother and stop staying after for work. If it would make Namjoo the same again he would do anything.

Sitting down across from her he eagerly placed food onto her plate, “Eat up.”

“Oh…thanks,” Namjoo quietly muttered before taking a spoonful.

“I’m happy you’re back,” he couldn’t stop looking at her. He laughed to himself, unable to keep in the exploding joy. “I’m being weird. Just ignore me and eat.”

After their meal, Sehun helped her pack away leftovers then joined her at the sink to wash dishes. He brushed against her when he reached over to grab a plate from her. His gaze was glued on her and all he could focus on was the fact that they were next to each other doing something together. That was also when Namjoo shriveled away and stepped far from him. Appearing uncomfortable she brushed a hand across her hair and said, “I’m going to go wash up.”

Without waiting for him to say anything she was out of the kitchen within the blink of an eye. When he made it upstairs Namjoo was still in the bathroom washing up. She said nothing to him when she walked out, didn’t even ask how his day was or how his week had been. After washing he found Namjoo in bed curled up on her side with back to him. Honestly, he thought they might hold each other tonight since it was her first night back from her parents. She had missed him too he had wanted to believe. Yet, there was a vibe flowing off Namjoo that told him to leave her alone. Unable to go near her he lay there watching her until he fell asleep.

Namjoo was up the next morning but she hadn’t cooked breakfast. She had made coffee and was chewing on a donut when he went downstairs, and she was also dressed for the day. He was curious about what time she’d woken up.

“Are you going somewhere?” he asked.

“Work.”

“Oh right,” he remembered. “Shouldn’t you…rest some more?”

“I feel fine.”

His eyes moved to the cast on her arm. “Is your car still in the shop?”

The last he had seen of it at the garage the driver’s seat had been dented so far in it looked unrecognizable and impossible to repair, but the mechanic had said they would remove the door and replace it with a new one. They would also remove the bloodstained seat and get another chair. Seeing it had made his heart ache for what Namjoo had experienced.

“Yea.”

“Then,” he hoped, “I’ll take you to work.”

“I’ll take a cab.”

“I’ll take you.”

“You’ll be late. I’ll take a cab.”

“I said I’ll take you,” he spoke more adamantly unintentionally. When Namjoo looked up at him he immediately apologized. “I won’t be late, so I’ll drop you off at work and I’ll pick you up.”

“As you want,” Namjoo said sliding out of her chair to put away the empty cup of coffee in the sink then walked out of the kitchen. He stared after her hoping with all his guts that he hadn’t sounded upset with her.

§§§§§

“I’ll pick you up, ok?” Sehun reminded when he stopped in the parking lot of her workplace. “Don’t forget that. I’ll come pick you up.”

“I heard you,” Namjoo said unbuckling her seatbelt. Without looking back, she started toward the doors where Yunyeong was waiting for her.

The friend smiled and asked as they walked in together, “You returned home?”

Namjoo nodded quietly. Taking her hand Yunyeong led her out back so that they wouldn’t be overheard if there were any customers.

“Are you ok?” she asked when they sat down at a bench outback.

“I don’t know,” Namjoo confessed picking up a flower and pulling off its petals. “I don’t feel happy, but I don’t want to disappoint my parents. My mom gave me a long talk, so I had no choice.”

“You can come stay with me if you’re having a hard time,” Yunyeong offered.

“Yea?” Namjoo tried smiling. “Then I’ll use you as my excuse.”

§§§§§

Once he arrived at work Sehun immediately got on his phone. He wanted to know how Namjoo was doing at work. Then a few minutes later he wanted to know what she would be eating. He quickly changed his text to ask what she wanted for lunch. Namjoo’s reply hit him with disappointment. She would be eating with Yunyeong and her sister.

Groaning, he threw his head back.

“Sehun…” someone spoke when the door opened.

Without seeing who it was he asked irritated, “What do you want?”

“What are you upset about?” Seona wondered walking in and settling some papers onto his desk.

Trying not to blow up at her he said, “I got the papers. You can leave.” He was still upset with how he’d stopped by to see Seona on Namjoo’s birthday instead of heading straight home. The blame was on him, but he also wanted to blame Seona.

“You’re staying behind to finish some assignments, right?” Seona wondered. “I heard the department manager talking about some work. Should I stay behind and help?”

He stared at her flatly. “No. I’m clocking out early.”

“Why?”

“I just am. You can leave. I need to get to work.”

Seona swiftly removed the papers she’d just placed on his desk when he began looking at them. “Why?” she repeated. “I want you here with me tonight.”

Biting down on his jaw he glanced toward his door where someone might walk in any minute. Looking back at her, “I’m going home early.”

“I said no. Did you forget what we talked about?”

He rose to his feet irked, “Stop it.”

“No,” she refused. “I’m not letting you go to her. Not tonight.”

Sehun continued firing her with his stare. He was frustrated, very. He had spent too much time focusing on Seona when he should have dismissed his guilt. Because of that, he had missed a good portion of the time he could have spent with Namjoo. And due to that she hadn’t returned to him for two almost three weeks since the accident. It had been the hardest time of his life going back home to no one. Namjoo was finally back home and he really wanted to be there with her. He hadn’t been able to comfort her properly and he wanted to spend the time now to do that.

“I can’t replace Namjoo with anyone,” Sehun professed. “You might have been a first love, but love also comes and goes. Namjoo has always been my best friend and she’s always been there. Even if she’s not my friend, I can’t live without her. I need you to understand that, Seona.”

The papers went flying into his face the next second. Seona stared at him enraged. “Don’t talk about her in front of me like that. She’s just your friend.”

Spinning around she stomped out slamming the door after her.

§§§§§

He was early but he didn’t mind waiting. The parking lot was full of cars which meant Namjoo must be pretty busy inside tending to them. Sehun had never seen her at work before. Though she had just started this job she seemed passionate about it and it was a good thing. She might have not been good at studying but she had expertise in other fields. Being knowledgeable like that was also a strength and it made him proud of her.

When they were younger they never worried about the future. Each and every day of the present had been the most important. What to have for the next meal and how to fill in the next hour so they wouldn’t be bored had been of the utmost importance. Now, he worried about the future. How would he comfort Namjoo who had pained the most after losing the baby? Would she still be able to look at the bright side of the world? And would he be able to give her a hug tonight and the night after?

The aura floating around her when they were alone was uninviting. Was she angry at him? Was she upset he hadn’t gone to be at her immediate side in the hospital?

Sehun ended up watching the customers walk out to their cars and drive away one by one. About two hours later Namjoo finally walked out with Yunyeong and her sister. They talked a bit before departing. It was 6:00 by the time Namjoo finally entered his car.

“You looked pretty busy today,” he commented hoping to start a conversation with her.

“I told you not to wait,” Namjoo said pulling the seatbelt over her. She had. He received the text earlier but had insisted to come.

“When does your cast come off?” he wondered driving slowly down the road.

“Five weeks.”

“I’ll go with you,” he offered.

“I don’t need you to.”

“I’ll go with you. Just let me know when the appointment is.”

“I said don’t worry about it,” Namjoo repeated more aggressively then turned away to look out the window.

Sehun glanced at her wondering if he had annoyed her. “All right,” he gave in. “It’s late. Do you want to stop by a restaurant?”

“No.” she coldly refused.

“Ok.”

That night when he got into bed Namjoo moved a little farther away from him.

***Did you notice that for the first time Sehun actually talked about how he feels about Namjoo to anyone ever? It pissed Seona off xDD

***It's sad that he's finally trying but Namjoo is moving farther away from him

***Right after I wrote this chapter I watched the Struggling Friend Note special on 2D1N. At the end of their trip they had a mission to find flags and put together phrases for their morning mission. Joonyoung and Roy Kim got this phrase: "Friendship is love without wings." I didn't understand that phrase but when it was explained it had me going OOhhh. Friendship doesn't have wings but love does. Love is always coming and going but friendship always stays so it has no wings. When I read back on this particlar chapter and what Sehun said to Seona it makes me think. He and Namjoo have something special between them that has grounded them together for years even though they're now lovers but yet still friends.