*Hello! I know we're quite down with what happened, but let's keep on being an inner circle, okay? The winner boys need our support more than ever. And I won't get tired of writing fanfics for them. =) Let's keep on listening to their music and watching their  mvs, neh?

*Sorry for updating after quite a long time, but I hope you keep on being patient with this author. I'll be starting my job soon as a college professor, but I'll do my best to keep on updating as soon as I can. Enjoy!

*Anyone who guessed what the song below is?

As if it’s about to fall and shatter, clear, towards me

The sweet poisonous substance about to spread

My old scars that have frozen white and stick fast

Even though they spread deep inside your heart

When I’m about to hold you

The flakes of chrome that gnaw away

Their sting

You’re like oxygen, when I drink you in

I can’t breathe you out

Inside this intense agony

Can’t you see I’m dying away like this?

“Now what? Are you really trying to destroy yourself for someone who would never see your worth as much as you adore and praise him?”

“You don’t have any right to make me feel how fool I am ‘cause I already know that myself, damn it!”

She was not totally alone, with the only bartender present at the bar slowly wiping the counter and trying to talk to her without letting his sight leave its designated tasks at hand. And she’s thankful at first, but with how his tongue tried to bite at her mentality makes her fume more from irritation.

“Then you should already know that whatever effort you give,, it would always be a fruitless cause. Awful isn’t it? That you know what would be the ending yet you can’t stop ‘cause you’re already too far to do so.”

“Damn it! I don’t care anymore! I just want to make this feeling disappear but I can’t! And I don’t want to, at all! Bull! The hell are you smiling?!”

“It’s better that you’re being honest with what you feel, and that you’re showing your anger, not bottling it all up just to make others think you’re fine.”

“So instead of a bartender, what are you now, a psychologist? As if you understand what state I am in right now.”

“Oh, believe me or not. I do. I do know how you feel.”

Both standing with only the counter separating them, Hwasa decided to leave a hate mark on the other’s face but with her slow reflexes compared to the guy, her punch was easily stopped by his own fist, making her whine more about life and everything related to cliché love stories and romance novels.

The other just shook his head and tried to hold his laughter in before Hwasa tries to make him listen to such colorful words more.

--

“So, now what? Are we like… a thing already? Should I call you differently? How ab-”

“Stop. I know, my words earlier might have overwhelmed you but it doesn’t me you should let it all direct your actions between us.  We might be something in the past, that I have shared with you accidentally, but I just realized one thing.”

“What- what do you mean? I’m not doing this because of what you’ve said to me. I did not kiss you just because the moment called me to kiss you. I-”

“Listen , Mino, the world’s too vast for you, and I’m the kind of person who would choose to be locked on the same spot and enjoy the consistency of life given to me. I do admit that before I enjoy travelling to whatever places, despite of the language barrier, despite of the weather condition, but staying here gives me peace. Sooner or later, you would be doing things and achieving much but I’ll do nothing and just stay on the sidelines. I may not even follow you if you decide to go. You have kissed me, yes, you have agreed to every single word I said earlier, yes, but that doesn’t mean you actually remembered, did you? I’m just rambling a lot, I’m sorry.”

Laughing awkwardly, Jinwoo kept on rubbing his neck and looked straight into Mino’s eyes, unwavering yet sad, despite of being able to have that sense of attachment back between them.

He thinks, he’s not selfish enough to hold the other from growing more into the real world.

“If one day, when you’re strong enough to stand alone, when you have done things you always wanted to do, and you have met more people than you think you could, yet you’re heart remained in place, you could always come and find me. I’ll always be there, whenever you look for me.”

“Hyung…I… I’m willing to remember. I really want to remember. How about you help me, then you would not need to worry about it anymore, right? I know I really care about you even before you said those things earlier, and I won’t let this chance slip.”

“I told you Mino, explore more and if you’re still willing to return to me, I’ll gladly accept you.”

Instead of words, the younger one just wrapped the other in a tight hug, fearing of what might happen next, of losing him again. He knows how hard it is for the two of them, someone who remembers it all and carrying the burden of those untold memories, and someone who’s missing a part of him but can’t make it flood back within him.

He might not know of those times, but he knows he doesn’t want to see the older one feeling down, moreover if he’s the one who caused the frown on those sweet lips.

“And I’ll really be happy if you decide to return in the future.”

Pressing towards each other, enjoying the warmth emanating from both sides, they felt safe.

--

“Hey, what’s wrong? Your smiles were brighter than the sun this week and you suddenly show up in today’s practice looking like Hades after Persephone rejected her.”

“Stop putting that mythology references, will you?”

“Fine, but seriously, is this problem related to a girl? I could always give you an advice if you want to, free of charge of course since we’re friends and we dance in the same crew so-”

“No. You know what Soonyoung, I think Chan has some input to the routine, you should go find him.”

“Reall?! I’ve been kind of missing some ideas to add to- wait. Ooh, you’re sneaky aren’t you? Trying to change the topic that fast, Fine, but you could always share it with me if you really need some proper advice. I mean, I may be a love guru that-”

“Soonyoung, shut up. All I need right now is some peace and quiet. I’d really appreciate it if you decide to look for Chan right now and help in finalizing the routine.”

Shrugging his shoulders and frowning a little, Soonyoung decided to divert his attention to the youngest of the group, after smacking Seunghoon a little harder than usual and belting Confession while skipping away.

Sighing louder, with his thoughts rotating around a single person, he didn’t notice another dance crew member sitting beside him, not that close to avoid annoying him further.

“Hey, looking gloomy today. Mind if I ask what happened?”

He felt like snapping back that he was asked the same question for the nth time yet decided against it and calmed his self down before answering. It was Yixing after all, and who among them could raise his voice towards such a nice person?

“Sorry, do I really look that murderous?”

“Not quite, just enough to burn someone’s dinner perhaps.”

Smiling a little, he decided to look at his friend also known as Lay and noticed that his line of sight follows the direction of a certain bubbly boy who’s currently goofing along with two other members and throwing playful actions towards the youngest of the group who just rolled his eyes and pulled them along the hems of their shirts to actually finish a dance routine.

“How did you know?”

“Hmmm?”

Now gaining his friend’s full attention, he inhaled deeply and asked further.

“That he’s the right one for you. You and Soon have two different personalities, like polar opposite, you know. What made you end up with him?”

“Well, that’s quite right. Our personalities don’t match, and I enjoy his shy antics when he tried to befriend me before, than now that he’s loud like that. But… isn’t it the same person after all? I saw sides of him before that I may have like, and I saw sides of him now that I may hate, but I learned to love everything about him. I didn’t expect to trust him that fast, but I did. Things just fell into place and I realized, I’ve never been loved this much as well.”

Those words were not planned, nor do showing any sign other than being honestly in love. And Seunghoon wishes to see that same twinkle in the eyes of the one he cares for a lot. And he wishes he’s the one that could be the reason for someone dear to him to smile genuinely as well.

Jinwoo had inspired him a lot to be a better person, to run towards a better version of Seunghoon that he didn’t know he could be. Though he’s not that much of an achiever, or the most popular guy in town, or the great bachelor who everyone wants to marry, all he needs is his hyung’s attention to feel like he had accomplished his life’s goal.

“Why, you’ve set your eyes on someone, didn’t you?”

“It’s more like… I always had my eyes on that person. I wonder how until now, despite of the crowd, I still end up seeing that person.”

Laughing at his own romantic side, Lay tapped his shoulder and nodded, signifying how much he understands those words, before standing up and walking towards the other members who are still goofing around despite of the hiphop music blaring within the four corners on the practice room.

He guesses he’ll stay back again like what he’s been doing for the past month, but now, the want to perfect the dance routines and to improve his skills were not the only reasons why he’s willing to be left alone at the studio.

He hopes that surprise visit is not a one-time chance.

A black sock rolled into a ball that smacked him straight in the forehead pulled him out of his thoughts and he just laughed it off before throwing his own sock to Soonyoung who’s now dancing to Touch my Body by Sistar and he did not even notice when the music has been changed, the other members laughing like there’s no tomorrow, Chan looking as if he’s harassed by the older.

“Seunghoon look like a lovesick puppy! That fallen in love face is creepy!”

“Say’s someone who‘s not in love!”

Their bickering stopped, attention all focused on Chan who had unintentionally burped and is already running to avoid another set of tickle attacks.

--

Too focused on his own reflection in the mirror, eyes closing once in a while, he didn’t notice the door opening and another set of eyes watching him with a shy smile. After a few seconds, sensing the presence of another person, Seunghoon whipped his head abruptly that all he could think of at the moment is the pain shooting at the right side of his neck and the image of him being a careless idiot in the eyes of the person he doesn’t want to be disappointed in him.

Too busy now thinking of an escape plan, any plan to fix his ruined image in front of the deer boy, if it’s really Jinwoo who decided to give him a surprise visit at past midnight.

It was all cut off though, feeling the warmth of familiar hands holding his cheeks and checking his neck for injuries.

“I’m sorry! Did I gave you a shock! I should really knock on the door next time, since I know you’re not expecting anyone to pass by this place this late.”

“Don’t worry, hyung, I’ll be fine. Really, so…. What brought you here? Guess you’re interested about our story? I mean, you’re story of how we met, you know, how we became friends and those stuff so-”

“Calm down. Right now, I’m more concerned on whether you’re still in pain and just acting as if it’s nothing or if you’re really fine just like what you said.”

Noticing the blush creeping slowly on his cheeks, Jinwoo realized his mistake of letting his hands linger on Seunghoon’s cheeks longer than what guys should normally do. He knows that the other guy probably know that he’s gay and he doesn’t want to scare someone who has been once a part of his life because of his own hasty actions.

“I… I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I think we should talk next time ‘cause-”

“No. Since you’re already here, we should chat. But, if you’re really sorry, I’ll teach you some steps and you need to learn it and dance it together with me.”

Just for the fun of it, Seunghoon tried to teach him a few steps from Baby Goodnight by B1A4, cooing at times seeing how cute the older one could be without him forcing his self to look adorable. And Seunghoon finds it dear that until now, it feels like Jinwoo hasn’t changed nor age, except for the hair and the style of clothing perhaps.

It’s still the same old nice kid who had caught his attention and had never left his mind ever since.

“You’re just making fun of me right now. I’m not a dancer you know.”

“Eeey, don’t say that. You dance well hyung. So let’s-”

“No, I’m not dancing anymore. Right, we don’t need to go outside anymore to eat. Since I don’t want to burden you more, I decided to bring snacks here. I think you’ve been practicing non-stop, so you deserve some reward.”

Seunghoon was thinking of a different kind of reward but for now, a set of assorted snacks and bottled water is enough, especially if it’s from Jinwoo. He wonders how love made him lose his selective side in front of the older male.

The silence was not awkward, but it was not that comfortable either, and feeling that the next chance he could be alone with Jinwoo might never come, Seunghoon thought of doing anything to make the guy see him not just as an old forgotten friend, but something more, someone who could make him happy and feel love than those who have hurt him before.

“Hyung?”

“Hmm?”

“Let me tell you a secret.”

“About what?”

“I’d like you to meet the person I like so much.”

“Oh, she’ll come visit you as well? I should have really asked you ahead before doing surprise visits, I’ll end up as a third wheel later and you might lose your chance with her.”

“Listen first hyung, You know this person well. And he’s actually present here.”

He?

“Would you mind looking at the glass wall?”

All he saw was his reflection, no other person and then it hit him. Why Seunghoon was wary of other guys around him, why he doesn’t mind being bothered by him. But then again, being playful is part of the younger one’s character, perhaps he was just messing with him, out of tiredness, out of boredom he doesn’t know.

“Silly, it’s just the two of us here. Where’s that person you just said?”

He was trying to laugh it off, but noticing the intense gaze directed at him, he looked at the forgotten kimbap on his right hand and used his left hand to cover his lips from letting his nervous giggle escape.

“You just met him hyung. And I’m serious. I like you.”

“No you’re not serious, and no, you don’t like me. I… I’ll just come back here after you sort that out yourself.”

Before he could answer, Jinwoo has already left, and he’s never been this regretful about his straightforward self.

But if he didn’t say it sooner, would something change? The person he likes so much has already set his eyes on someone he could never be. The pain from Jinwoo’s back turning his back on him is much more painful than all those people in the past who looked down on him combined.

He doesn’t know when did he start crying, but all that invades his ears right now is his own wail, kept by the walls of the practice room in secrecy.

Cold, to the point of freezing, you’re transparent

Though I breathe you in, and keep breathing you in

Until I’ve turned white from the shock, as if I’d ran

I’m dry of thirst for your love

*Trials keep on popping unexpectedly, and to those who are experiencing the same, hang on, you could make it through it all sane and well. Sorry for the angst, but there're still 5 chapters left after this, so I hope you enjoy  the future chapters as well. =)

*Right, Lay and Hoshi are together here now, though it wasn't shown that much during Window Cracks. And the bartender will have more exposure during the next part, who do you think it is?

*Take care everyone. Enjoy your weekend.

#minwoo.and.winner.lives.on