*Finally! I'm able to update even just one fanfic of mine, since it's just a month left and we'll be taking our board exams, and we still feel like lacking a lot (who doesn't?) but here I am, because I love writing and Minwoo. 

*I hope you enjoy this, and let's support winner no matter what, okay?

*And I've placed some english lyrics of one of my fave songs from one of my fave kpop artists. I'll be doing this for the rest of the chapters, and no, they won't be from yg artists only. The one below is from Teen Top, looks familiar? Feel free to guess. =)

I think about you, there’s regret and I miss you

I didn’t want to say anything

It seemed like you would be fine even after you left me

Your face and your words have changed

“You two are like, good friends for two years now and nothing has changed yet? I mean, he really cared about you before the accident so shouldn’t he be harboring the same feeling now that-”

“Stop, you should tell that to yourself first before giving me a lecture.”

Jinwoo is still having the dilemma about the guy named Seunghoon who obviously knows him well for being able to hug him like old friends do. Talking to him though, is a harder task, despite of being more curious after not gaining any useful knowledge from his younger brothers (he knows he can’t do anything to break his brother’s happiness so he would try to treat Taehyun as a sibling to the best that he can) last week. He doesn’t need another round of headache without the help of booze to make him forget as well.

And in addition, he’s still wondering until now how he and the boy named Hoshi became good friends, right, he remembered how shy and quiet the lad used to be when he met him as Lay’s suitor. He didn’t expect him to be this talkative though once he started to know him better.

“Don’t change the topic okay. I and Lay hyung simply realized that we’re not going anywhere but the friendship lane so it’s better to save that before we try something that will just ruin it.”

“Well, there, you’ve answered your own question.”

“Eeey! But yours is a different case, I mean, you were in such a beautiful relationship before that was just played by fate but you could start all over again. That would be easy for the two of you ‘cause I’m sure he still loves you, though he doesn’t remember it well, his heart would. That’s what happened to you, right?”

Remembering the free breakfast everyday, he stopped himself from putting on a smile before he gets bombarded by questions again from the still hyper Hoshi. That was the reason how he ended up leaving another man from his past last time he went to the studio Seungri owns.

They’ve been hanging out once in a while, him and Mino, but for Jinwoo, they’re nothing but friendly dates and he wouldn’t want to assume something more could come out from that knowing how busy Mino has became.

“Easier said than done Hoshi, ‘cause if you were in my shoes before we even had a relationship, you would understand why it’s hard to pull off that same stunt again. One of the many reasons would be, I am not Mino.”

“I don’t understand hyung.”

Then his mind went back into the days he was such an (though he believes he’s that kind of guy until now, he’s been pretty better at hiding it well) and stopped the bubbling laughter wanting to erupt from his lips. He knows he could never be as patient and sweet just like Mino back then, though he knows he’s still as faithful as ever towards the living ball of energy.

“I bet you would never understand.”

--

Nothing’s been changed from the apartment they’ve been living since they got together, but as Taehyun walked in, feeling sleepy after meeting new investors and covering as a model for a well-known brand of jeans, he felt unusual, without the smell of dinner prepared or guitar strumming enveloping the whole home.

“I didn’t know you’re that close now with Mino-ssi.”

His voice was heavier than the usual tone when he’s nagging the younger one with the house chores and putting things in order inside their room. And before Taehyun could even remove his coat, he went straight towards Seungyoon reading a mystery novel, sitting comfortably in the sofa.

He doesn’t want to indulge himself with whatever games his boyfriend is playing at right now but sensing the seriousness in his expression, despite of the tiredness and possible curses that would come out from his mouth once this turns into a full-blown confrontation between them, he calmly sat across him to clear things out.

“What are you trying to imply then?”

“You obviously know the situation between him and Jinwoo hyung, so why are you being too comfortable around him?”

“We’ve been good friends ever since, though we had our own conflicts, and his family has invested in our company so shouldn’t I treat and help him well? What are you so worked up about?”

“Aside from being good friends, you were lovers as well, right? And with things that happened, isn’t this the best opportunity to make that work again?”

“Where the hell are you leading this conversation?”

Taehyun had enough hate comments from his social media accounts this morning and he’s still irritated with the wardrobe mismatch at work that he feels like standing up already and tell Seungyoon to just sleep with him and nag him the next day.

But he knows he couldn’t bear to sleep knowing that there’s a rift between them. Especially that this is his first ever serious relationship. And he wonders what piqued Seungyoon’s jealousy now that he’s always been faithful to the older guy.

“Compared to him, aren’t I such a nobody? And your mother still doesn’t like me even all through those two years that were together, right? So why would you even spend more time with me than the man who could always be your trophy boyfriend?”

“Damn it Seungyoon! I’ve been with you all this time and I tried to be the best partner I could be and you easily think that I’m that kind of person? After how I defended you in front of the persons who could bring my name into shame whenever they want? I thought we’ve already put trust in each other’s loyalty so why are you treating me like this now?”

“You’re not denying it either.”

Now he was standing in front of Seungyoon who’s gripping the book harder, obviously not caring about the words written but to the words said to him.

“That I’m such a nobody.”

“The hell Seungyoon, you’re not a nobody okay?! I’m with you so why are you jealous with something that’s already buried in the past?!”

“’Cause it would be too easy to dig it up again. Isn’t it?”

“Of all the people who I believe to not doubt me, I didn’t think it would be you. I guess that’s why I feel like burning you alive right now, but since I love you that much as well, I won’t. I’ll go now, or I won’t be able to stop myself from strangling you.”

He didn’t even look straight into Taehyun’s eyes and it did nothing but irritate the petite boy who slammed the door as he left. It was not because of his anger towards his boyfriend, but of his tears slowly b from his lower eyelid, of the truth that he’s not jealous at all for he trust and love Taehyun so much that he couldn’t bear seeing him go through more hardship because of him.

--

“Don’t you think you’ve been nothing but a burden to my son?”

It was a surprise to Seungyoon that his partner’s mother, who’s obviously uncomfortable with seeing his son eating another man’s face, invited him to coffee one morning when Taehyun was at Japan for three days straight.  

“You have no formal profession, and you’ve humiliated him once. Though he was the one who did it himself, he did it because he’s blinded by what he feels for you. Since that day, do you have any idea of how harder he tried to prove his self for losing the trust of many valuable clients and investors?”

Hearing this made him jittery on his seat, wanting to show his best towards his future mother-in-law, if given the chance, but he knows he’s just being a nervous kid in front of such an eloquent lady who happened to be the most important woman in his lover’s eyes. 

“Madame, I’m trying the best that I can to make your son happy and-”

“Obviously, that’s not enough. I believe you understand what I want to mean. I’m simply, a mother wanting the best for his child and in whatever way I’ll try to give him that. He deprives himself of that chance because of you.”

Both coffee were left not sipped until now. Seungyoon felt like a target and Mrs. Nam’s words are precise arrows that keep on hitting him.

“I have already accepted him being attracted to the same gender, but I still can’t understand why he still chose to be with you, despite of all those persons who could clearly give him a better life than you. My son is such a precious gem to me, so seeing that brightness covered by a simple pebble, I am disappointed.”

Everything she’s saying at the moment are proofs of how far he is from Taehyun, no matter how hard he try to catch up, and no matter how hard the other would try to slow down his pace. The gap is still too wide and love alone couldn’t build them a bridge to meet each other in the middle.

“If you really care about him, make him return home, and make him realize that he’s more worthy than ending up with someone whose monthly salary is lower than the shirt he wears to sleep.”

He knows he won’t be able to look straight into his boyfriend’s eyes the same way ever again.

“I believe I have made my point clear, I’ll be going now then. And don’t you think as well that it would be better if Taehyun won’t hear any of this meet-up? So long Seungyoon.”

--

Summer hasn’t ended yet but Seungyoon felt cold. He wanted to be comforted the way he wants to hug and say sweet nothings to his lover’s ears as well. Now that he’s alone, he didn’t stop the tears from wanting to line his cheeks and carry with it the pain that’s slowly gnawing him within.

Though he knows he’s not feeling any lighter, it’s the opposite actually.

But he’d rather see Taehyun shine brighter than be overshadowed by their emotions that wouldn’t bring them anywhere but more pain and destitutions.

He realized though, that this is his first heartbreak and he doesn’t want to experience it anymore.

--

It’s already late at night and his co-members had already went home ahead of him, but after that one chance of meeting his long-lost friend once again, he felt like pushing himself harder to make him proud, to be able to see him again without that fear or misrecognition.

Maybe if he could bring himself to success and delete that dull past that keeps on haunting him, he would be able to talk to him for longer and bond with him like before. And then he would care for him better than the one who was not able to stop that accident from happening.

One problem though with him hearing the music play, he forgets about everything else that would ruin the dance and lets his passion flow in his body, like it was the music itself, flowing with the wind and brings tears or smile to anyone who hears it.

He doesn’t notice anything else that he didn’t hear the door towards the practice room creak, a boy in gray hoodie entering quietly and watches him with awe.

And as the music faded and come to an end, the claps he heard pulled him back to reality. Looking at the source of the other noise, he saw the center of his imagination just awhile ago.

“He…llo? I’m really sorry for barging in but… I just… perhaps you could… tell me who you really are? ‘Cause my curiosity is killing me and sleep is not bothering to visit me so… I’m really willing to listen. If it’s not inconvenient for you, that is. I heard from Seungri hyung that you usually practice here until past midnight so…”

Seunghoon wanted to hug him but knowing what his excitement brought him last time, he held back. And the bigger reason was that, he doesn’t want to make him run away now once he get a good sniff of the guy after a hard day’s practice and polishing of dance like there’s no tomorrow. He already had enough of bad first impressions so he’d rather let the other see him as a presentable guy than the weird man that he actually is.

 “Oh, oh yes! I mean no, it’s not inconvenient! I’d be more than happy to tell you our story, not in that way of course ‘cause you see we’re really good friends and-”

Nice choice of words of Seunghoon, you just blew your cover off and showed your idiot self and hyung probably decided to just cancel this and-

“I see. So, could we talk over… bowls of ramen maybe? If it’s fine with-”

“Anything’s fine! Really. Coffee, soda, pizza, or even nothing. I’d gladly tell you a part of your past. But I believe I need a shower so badly ‘cause I really stink. I promise, it won’t take that long!”

 “Sure, I’ll just… wait here. No need to hurry.”

Right now, as he saw Jinwoo show him that same sincere smile he had kept in his memory for a long time now, he could see his odd self already doing back flips and somersaults in mid-air but he held back his jumps until he was out of sight from the innocent-looking guy.

And that’s how they ended up together at a Saturday night, inside a convenient store, laughing over cups of spicy seafood ramen, talking about anything and everything. Like what good old friends do. And Jinwoo finds Seunghoon’s presence comforting, that he thought about perhaps, they were really close before. Though he still can’t find the right timing to ask openly about it.

“Ah, hyung, you still don’t recognize me?”

Smiling shyly, he nodded and waited for the younger man to answer the question in his mind without the need to ask him. He suddenly wants to see his brother and ask him of good ways of starting his question but knowing that he’ll be busy with his boyfriend, he decided to do it himself.

“Um… it’s just that…. I’m really sorry, I don’t know how to start this. I’m usually not shy as this. I’m kind of aloof though, I admit that.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll tell you all details then. So you would be able to sleep soundly starting tonight. But, I’ll understand if you still can’t remember. I’m still your friend no matter what.”

But as he was about to start talking about it, feeling at ease now with Jinwoo looking at him with full attention, just like before, when the deer-eyed boy’s phone rang, breaking the momentum.

“I’m really sorry, I need to answer this.”

Hearing the choked voice and the sobs within every word, his brotherly instinct break through and he knows he needed to come wherever his brother went as soon as possible. Feeling sorry with the other guy, he said his reason and quickly ran out the store and waved for a cab.

Seunghoon then scolded himself for being such a slowpoke, but then, knowing that it would be so much easier now to meet Jinwoo, he whooped earning the annoyed stare from the cashier whose the only person beside him at the store.

Tomorrow would be a good start to change things. To start anew.

The sky doesn’t have a single cloud, the weather is perfect

Everything stayed the same but only you are missing

*Thank you for passing by, take care for the rest of the day, and enjoy your weekend!

#minwoo.is.love

#once.an.incle.always.an.incle