My Unsecured Love

Chapter 1.

Love. Love? What is it actually? In dictionaries it is basically an intense feeling of deep affection, or showing of interest to someone or to something. But if an individual experiences this, what would be their own definition for it?

To other people’s eyes, love can be separated in many aspects such as love for your parents; parents to their children; friends; best friends; family. It could be a friendly love or a something with deeper meaning, like how couples are feeling.

Isn’t this something that opposite genders would feel around each other? What if I don’t fall for the opposite ? What if my heart was captured by her? Will she even understand me even though the love that we both express isn’t exactly the same? Or will she stick on what she really is and just leave my heart the way it is making me realize that I really have an unsecured love?

                                                                        X

It’s 7:45 in the morning, 15 minutes before our class starts, it’s fine to take my time, the building is literally just beside our dorm so why rush?

“Yuwreh! Hurry up, get down already we’re going to get late for school and I don’t want that to happen!” Tiffany shouted, her voice echoing all over the two-story dorm.

“Yes, yes I’m going down just wait a bit alright.” I replied while finding something to tie my hair with.

Well that girl is Tiffany; she’s kind of a reason why I need to make my movements paced double time, she has a bit of short patience, but I don’t mind it’s a charm, it makes her look cute specially when she frowns.

Why I like her that way? Besides the fact the she is my best friend and my roommate, I tend to have a deeper liking towards her, I’m not straight and she knows that and she respects it. But sometimes we can’t help but be awkward to each other whenever we have some skin ship that she thinks surpasses the norm, she can be quite uncomfortable with me sometimes and it hurts me, but what do I expect having a friend that is straight as a ruler? Still, we both can’t deny the fact that we enjoy each other’s company.

“Yuwreh I’m still waiting!” oh she’s going to get mad any minute now, don’t want to see hellfany so early in the morning, now where is that hair tie? “There it is...”

“I’m going down now, Fany.” I dashed my way down the stairs and there I saw her angelic face looking at me with her eyes piercing through my soul, her brows collided with each other, and with a frown on her face. “Fany-ah you look cute when you frown but don’t do that so early in the morning, ok?” I played with her brows, moving it left to right.

She removed my hands away from her face then she raised a brow. “If you don’t want to see me frown then we have to go.” She looked at me in the eyes.

“Ok we’re going now, let’s go?” I asked her showing her a warm smile. She intertwined her hands with mine and smiled. “Yeah.”

                                                                        X

We walked hand in hand on the way to school; we met Taeyeon and Jessica on the school’s gate.

“You guys are getting closer and closer every day, why don’t you two just get together already.” Taeyeon made her statement which created an awkward atmosphere among us; Jessica nudged Taeyeon’s side giving her a warning. I scanned Tiffany’s face and she was averting her eyes all over the place to avoid the moment. I squeezed her hand and mouthed her an apology, “sorry…” she replied with a small smile. “it’s fine…” she looked at Taeyeon and Jessica. “I’m sorry Tae and Jess I have to go first, my class is starting, bye.”

“Yeah Tiff, bye.” “Yes Fany bye.” Tiffany turned away from us, I watched as her figure disappeared slowly. I turned my attention back to the two, specially to Taeyeon as I gave her a glare. “Why do you think you’re doing Taeyeon that was embarrassing!”

“I’m sorry ok; I thought she might have changed her mind you know.” Taeyeon shrugged her shoulders.

“It’s complicated Taeyeon, I’ve known Tiffany before you guys ever did, that girl is straight as a ruler.” Jessica interrupted. I nodded in agreement.

I sighed. “I’m not even expecting that she’ll change.”

“You aren’t? are you sure Yuri?” Taeyeon asked.

“W-well maybe a bit, but what can I do? She even avoids me sometimes whenever I show affection to her, if she didn’t know that I was gay, maybe she wouldn’t react that way, I shouldn’t have told her about Yoona, but then when I moved Tiffany came and kept mending and hurting me at the same time.

“Being in our situation is hard Yuri, you know that.” Jessica landed her hands on my shoulder.

“You guys are lucky, that you both are meant for each other.” I smiled at the two, the two of them have been together for like two years already.

“Who knows Yul? Maybe someday a miracle might happen.”

“If you’re talking about Tiffany? I think I kind of doubt that.”

***

Chapter 1 ends.

 It’s short I know, but I just need to write this before I forget everything about it, and about my other story, now worries I have no plans of abandoning it…yet.