He would never say there were kind researchers, but there were pitying ones. 

One such person was a nurse, Hwayoung, who was in charge of sewing him back together once they were done with him. She was ruthless in her job, ignoring any sounds of pain he bothered to muster, but there was his pitying fondness in her eyes that told him she saw him as a wounded animal, reduced over and over again to a victim as soon as he was able to stand on his own once more. They both knew that the flesh she was sewing back together now would knit back together in a matter of days and he would be peerless smooth skin, unrecognizable as the thinly-sliced mess he was now, barely attached to his own bones. 

Hwayoung would care for him in the followup days, bringing him food, water, showers and sometimes small talk. She was the only one who seemed to care that he could talk. 

They never spoke about the treatments, what was happening in the facility around them nor the far more agonized screeches audible from far deeper in the complex - a place known as the "Human Ward". He didn't know what the Human Ward was, nor how to get there. Even exposed himself to many methods of suffering, the cries of those lost souls were far worse and he didn't want to know what kind of things were happening there. 

Hwayoung had gotten married recently. Her new husband was a well-off middle class man, nothing too fancy. She said he was kind and gentle with her, didn't ask about her job, as per the marriage contract, and loved her. She said she was looking at start a proper family, down in Seoul, with her husband and that she didn't care how many children she would up having, so long as just one of them was a boy. And there was one last thing she said, and something he listened to over and over again in his mind.

"I want to raise children who never have to understand this."

Daesung had never been shy about taking off his clothes, this Seungri knew, so he couldn't get why Daesung was so skittish of doing it for the Alive album. Yongbae, as usual, as willing to take off whatever clothes and even Jiyong had ditched sleeves. (Seunghyun's outfits seemed to have absorbed that extra fabric, but that was another thing.)

"What, is they bleach all getting to your blonde head?" Seungri jabbed playfully, smiling at him. The other singer smiled back, apparently having pulled out of whatever thoughts were cycling through his mind. 

"Maybe a little." Daesung smirked back and shook his head, hair falling into his eyes and the makeup on his eyes flashing golden for a quick second. Sparkles, probably. "I'm just tired - zoning out a lot lately."

"I can see that. Need some caffeine?"

"Nah. Won't help. Just sleep and a hot shower." 

"You sure? Works wonders for Jiyong."

Daesung chuckled. "I'm not a superhuman night owl like he is. I can't run on coffee and willpower."

Seungri scoffed. "Yah! You just don't know how to live life!"

"Maybe I don't." The elder shrugged. "Regardless, where are we off to this morning?"

"Some talk show. It'll probably be mostly about Yongbae's abs again, since he got so much screentime in Fantastic Baby shirtless."

"Jealous?"

"Why would I be jealous? It's just abs!"

"Abs equal fangirls, something you sorely lack."

"Just rub it in them. No, please, I like a lot of salt to go with my wounds."

"Come off it. You know as well as I do that when you finally get the balls to go up to YG with the solo stuff you've been hoarding, you'll get a release in no time. He let you do Strong Baby, remember?"

"Yeah, and remember how Jiyong featured in the recording and music video of that song? It's not that I don't appreciate having my hyungs around, but I don't need to be babysat either."

"Well, when you say it so maturely, I can't do anything but believe you."

Seungri rolled his eyes and pushed the elder's chest. "I specifically asked for no sarcasm when I ordered this hyung."

A shiver raced up through Daesung's back and settled behind his eyes. "If you keep having problems, maybe I could suggest another chain?"

"You're just saying that to be nice."

"Maybe. C'mon. Finish your makeup so we can go to this show without Yongbae yelling at us for tardiness."

"Why? Seunghyun-hyung's gonna be late anyway. He's never on time."

"Let's learn from his bad example, then, and do the opposite of it."

"God, you are so boring. Do you ever not just follow the rules?"

Daesung regarded him with a raised eyebrow and Seungri huffed, finishing the wing of his eyeliner before tossing it back in Jiyong's drawer and leading the way down to the van that would take them to the interview.