A week..

A months..

And now, it has been a year when Yoona and Donghae separated..

No more trust, no more apologize, and not even a words can explain what exactly they feel about..

That feel of missing is way too over. Am I wrong if I keep thinking about him even I know that impossible for him to think about me?

I miss him, every little thing that he always do. I miss him the way he held me, kissed me, even just for shared a warm heat from his body and competed our heartbeat.

Today, I feel like I will end my day with this sadness again.

It’s not because I don’t want to hear anything about his explanation, I just don’t want to hurt my self worst.

Where should I share my story?

Now I’m alone. I believe that there’s nobody will easily waste their time just for listen to my stupid story.

Hope. Just that little thing can keep me survive. Just that little thing that can make me felt if I still alive and needed, by anyone that knew if I still exist.

It’s not because I want to complaining, I just want to make an opinion.

I want my opinion has some listener.

I miss my complete family that ever existed in my life.

Good. Now I’m completely alone. I have no parents that used to be supporting me.

That’s right. They’ve been out of my life since a month ago because of a horrible incident.

What can I do? Nothing left.

I have no more tears. I’m tired of crying. I’m tired of waiting.

I’m way too often to waste my time with think about something that has no use.

Whereas I know if I can use that time to found you and say that I already forgive you.

The reality that should be easy now changed to be very hard because of my naïve that make me stayed for keep waiting and wish that you will comeback, even I know that it’s just my dream.

What left it’s just a memory.

Memories that make me remember if you ever existed in my life.

Memories that make me remember if you ever stayed in my life as someone that very important to me.

If just you know my time is left not for a long time.

If just you know I’m sick not because of a loneliness but also from a strange illness.

Sorry for my egoist Donghae. Sorry for my silliness that never tried to find you.

I know I don’t have any right to say this, but please allowed me for the last time saying this spell : I love you Lee Donghae.

Yoona..

I don’t know why but that name is controlled my brain again.

Make me feel a loneliness that I hardly try to delete.

Where’s she? How’s she? Does she already forgive me?

That’s right. Even now I’m a successful men, it can’t change reality if I lost my love. I still lost that crazy and firework feeling because of love.

Does she miss me? Is the spell that I used to say to her still existed?

Does she already delete all memories when I used to whispering all spell sentence? Does she forget all our memories successfully?

This reality hit me right on the face. Remind me that all work I’ve been doing is just wasting time. Change me into an idiot person.

I was someone who just can see her from the distance without courage to comeback with her.

Now I’m controlled by that painful feeling again.

How often I tried to make that pain gone, also that often I met a dead end.

I miss her.

I miss her shy expression when I suddenly hug her.

I miss that believing ray in her eyes when I look into her eyes deeply and softly.

I miss her warm heat body when I hold her or just for leaning on her.

I miss everything about her.

Last report that I have is just about her parent’s incident.

Does the destiny already over?

Leaving us with a lot of question?

Leaving us with a never ending story?

My biggest hope now is to found her.

Change the destiny.

Face the truth without any regret.

Bring her back to my embrace and whispering that spell all over again : I love you Im Yoona