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Jongin doesn’t know how he got here.

He had taken the car and just. Drove. Aimlessly drove, not really paying attention to where he was steering, and before he knew it, he had ended up… here.

In this neighborhood. Sehun’s apartment just a few steps ahead.

It’s ironic. He had ran in order to avoid Sehun, but had ran straight towards his house, unconsciously.

With a sigh, he turns the wheel and finds somewhere to park, seeing as the last thing he wants is to return home right now, and he doesn’t feel like driving back to the company.

He finds a small park two blocks away. It’s quiet and empty, still in the early afternoon so the children are still away at school.

He turns the engine off, locks the car, and walks towards the playground.

When he sits down on one of the benches, Jongin realizes this is only the second time he’s ever been inside a park, and the first time was― 

―during that night, after what he had done, and Jongin had panicked and ran, far, far away from Sehun, still sleeping so peacefully and happily on the bed―

The night where he had made the biggest mistake of his life.

The night that had resulted in―

“Uncle Jongin?”

Jongin thinks he is hallucinating for a moment, that can’t be Sowon in the distance, running towards him in curiosity.

“It is you!” the child exclaims happily. “Do you like playing in the park, too?”

“Umn, yes―” he stutters, voice strained due to shock. What is Sowon doing here? How is he in front of Jongin right now? This is the last thing he wanted, the last person he should see―

“Are you done with work like how Sowon is done with school?” Sowon asks. It’s only then does Jongin notice the child is carrying a backpack on his shoulders. He’s probably just gotten out of school and was on his way home, of course, since this park is on the way to his house.

“Yes, I―” His answer dies in his throat when he realizes there’s someone behind Sowon―a woman in her fifties, watching him with a strange expression on her face.

“Grandmama, can I play with Uncle Jongin a bit before going home?” Sowon calls out, and oh, . That’s Sowon’s grandmother―Sehun’s mother. She was probably picking Sowon up, but that doesn’t mean Jongin wants to meet her. Especially now, under these circumstances.

“You’re… Jongin? Kim Jongin?” the woman, Mrs. Oh, speaks to him for the first time, and Jongin struggles to stay calm and bows.

“I am. It is nice to meet you, Mrs. Oh. I am the president of the company your son works for, Kim Jongin.”

Mrs. Oh only stares at him. Instead of mirroring the pleasantry back, she only blurts out, “You guys look exactly the same.”

“Huh?”

“Kai.”

Jongin winces. “Ah, yes. We are twins, so…”

The woman only looks more flabbergasted. Like she can’t believe her eyes. Jongin is unsure of what to do next when he finds Sowon tugging on his shirt.

“Uncle Jongin, let’s play on the swings!”

“Oh, but…” Jongin looks to Mrs. Oh, but she only shakes her head.

“It’s clear Sowon knows you and wants to play with you. Go on. I can wait for a bit.” She sits on a bench nearby as indication, waving Sowon away. Jongin trails after the child hesitantly as they make their way towards the swings, Sowon hopping onto one and nudging him to do the same.

“I love playing on the swings! Especially during a hot day! The wind blows across my face alllll cool!” Sowon chirps as he rocks back and forth. “Why aren’t you swinging?” He halts himself, glancing at Jongin. “Do you not like swings?”

“No. Just…”

“Are you too old to sit on it?”

“Huh?”

“That’s what Wonki of Class 2C said. He said only babies play on the swings, and that real boys play soccer.”

“You should play whatever it is you want to play. The swing is only too old for you if you don’t want to play on it anymore,” Jongin tells him, and blinks when Sowon grins at him in return.

“That’s what daddy said, too, after I told him!” Sowon jumps off his swing to stand next to Jongin. “So why don’t you swing, Uncle Jongin?”

“I… This is my first time on a swing, actually,” he admits.

“Do you not know how to?” the child asks. Jongin wants to say no, he does. But he feels awkward doing it. Here is something every child has gone through, has gotten to play―competing on who can swing the highest, rushing to get first dibs on the slide, rolling around in the sandbox, and yet…

Jongin’s never known what that’s like, at all. To run around in a playground with friends. To do what Sowon is doing. He feels awkward, here. Like he doesn’t belong.

But does he belong anywhere, anyway?

“It’s okay, I’ll push you!” Sowon declares, breaking Jongin out of his introspection.

“What?”

His face must be of disbelief, for the child pouts and asserts, “Sowon is very strong, you know! I drink two glasses of milk everyday so I can grow as tall as daddy! Good for strong bones!”

Jongin chuckles. The child is probably just parroting what Sehun had told him to persuade him to drink milk, and it’s adorable. “Okay. Go ahead.”

Sowon moves behind him, two tiny palms braced on Jongin’s back before he heaves a push, and Jongin makes sure to discreetly propel himself so that the swing will rock, his feet lifting off the ground as he swings back and forth.

“See?!”

“I see. You are very strong, Sowon. Maybe stronger than me, since I don’t know how to swing myself!”

Sowon lets out a proud laugh, chest huffing out in satisfaction. “Of course! Sowon is strong so that I can cheer up anyone who’s feeling sad! Sowon will protect!”

“Wait… Huh?” Jongin slows to a stop, turning back to him.

“Do you feel better now, Uncle Jongin?”

“Do I… feel better?”

“Yeah! Because you looked so sad, before, when I saw you sitting alone on the bench! That’s why I ran to you, because I wanted to cheer you up!”

“Oh…” Jongin hadn’t realized…

“Now you’re smiling and laughing, so I hope you feel better! Please don’t be sad, Uncle Jongin.”

Jongin feels his heart prickle at this. What is he doing, letting a four years old child―his own son―worry about him and to cheer him up, when it should be the other way around?

His expression must have dropped, for Sowon peers at him with concerned eyes. “Are you still sad?”

“No, I―I’m okay. Thank you, Sowon. You’re such a sweet child.” Jongin gives a small but sincere smile, reaching a trembling hand out to brush against Sowon’s cheek. “You really do take after Sehun. Always so worried over other people’s wellbeing… He raised you so well…”

And I guess I s