Chapter 7

-

“Humankind’s most basic fear is the threat of being separated from other humans.”

Things between them were more comfortable after the incident. Doyeon had felt a warm sensation spreading through her body whenever Yoojung would smile at her - more than glad that Yoojung was proud of her for her bread purchase. It meant a lot to her that the older girl understood the importance of it - not many people would get applauded just for buying bread - but Yoojung knew that Doyeon wasn’t just another person and that Doyeon really had to try in order to succeed. She was happy for the girl.

She was happy that the girl seemed more comfortable around her and vice versa.

It had gotten to a point where Yoojung didn’t have to think about the way she acted around Doyeon too much anymore because the patience and softness of her actions always came out naturally with her.

As for Somi, Yoojung hadn’t seen her since their last confrontation - and that was nearly three days ago. Somi was set to leave on Sunday so that meant that Yoojung had three days left to give the girl a reply - no matter what reply it was to be. Jieqiong had kept Somi busy for her so she hadn’t seen her best friend for a lot besides during school hours. She made a mental note to buy Jieqiong some new socks or something as a thank-you gift. Jieqiong had a thing for socks with cute characters on them (Yoojung didn’t know why. She just knew that the girl despised all-black and all-grey socks).

Friday rolled around and Doyeon followed Yoojung to the barn, both of them a bit wired out after having a three-hour long exam session. “Who said it’d be a good idea to have such long exams?” Yoojung grumbled under her breath as she stood next to Doyeon who was feeding Haru.

Doyeon glanced over to the irritated girl and could easily tell that it wasn’t just the exam that had her annoyed.

“What?” Yoojung said after noticing Doyeon staring at her. Doyeon raised her eyebrows and Yoojung sighed. “Sorry - I didn’t mean to have an attitude, I’m just tired.”

“Are you okay?” Doyeon asked, sounding a bit robotic. Yoojung smiled at the girl’s awkwardness, finding it cute.

“I’m fine.” Yoojung nodded. “Just thinking.” She said, reaching out her hand and patting Haru as the horse ate from Doyeon’s palm. Doyeon glanced over to the shorter girl but didn’t let her gaze linger for too long, looking back to the white mare in front of her.

“About Somi?” Doyeon asked quietly - so quiet that Yoojung wouldn’t have heard her if she weren’t right next to her.

Yoojung’s hand pulled back from Haru abruptly. “Yeah. About Somi.” She answered in a murmur, hand awkwardly going to rest idly on the stall gate. “She leaves on Sunday.”

Doyeon wondered why the girl would act so worried about it and figured that something must’ve happened that day when Somi had asked to talk to Yoojung alone. She was close to asking about it but felt her tongue dry up. It wasn’t really any of her business, was it?

But Doyeon still wanted to know…

“We’re having more guests tonight for dinner.” Yoojung said after a quiet moment as Doyeon wiped her hands on her jean shorts, getting rid of the leftover hay crumbs. “Somi and Jieqiong’s families are coming over.”

No wonder she seemed worried.

Doyeon panicked momentarily before Yoojung gave her a small smile. “I wasn’t expecting you to come with that many people going. It’s okay if you feel uncomfortable in going.” She and the younger girl began the walk back to their houses in a slow pace. “It’s just… Things are a little stressful between me and Somi - and Jieqiong’s just kind of… the awkward bridge between us.” She’s more talking to herself than Doyeon at this point - which Doyeon didn’t really mind.

“She said she wants to start over with me.” Yoojung mumbled as the tall grass tickled their bare calves. Looked like Doyeon didn’t have to ask what happened; Yoojung was going to tell her anyways. “And then told me she’d ‘give me time to think’.” She looked up and over to Doyeon. “What the heck does that mean?”

Doyeon almost laughed because - really? - Yoojung was asking her, someone who was practically incapable of social activities, a question about - well- a social activity.

Yoojung must’ve caught the glint in Doyeon’s eye because she gave a giggle. “The question came out before I could even think about it.”

And maybe that’s why Doyeon liked Yoojung so much - because the girl just understood her. It was like the girl read her thoughts all the time and could comprehend her feelings. Even her own parents couldn’t do that - at least not as easily as Yoojung could.

She decided to go to the dinner - hoping that she wouldn’t regret it.

But she did regret it.

She sat in between her parents at the dining table with Yoojung right across from her; the small girl sat between Jieqiong and Somi. The two didn’t seem awkward with each other at all considering Yoojung’s earlier nervousness. In fact, they seemed rather comfortable - too comfortable.

They were talking amongst the three of them themselves and Doyeon had never been around so many people and still felt so alone. She was used to being alone - had to get used to it back then - but now… now it bothered her. Staring at the three childhood friends laughing at something Doyeon didn’t understand because she hadn’t been there with them years ago when they had the memories they were currently talking about, it made her feel so alone.

And Doyeon almost left right then and there when she saw Somi feed Yoojung a piece of meat.

She could feel something bubbling inside of her - something that Doyeon would classify as anger but would soon realize was jealousy. Had it been Jieqiong who had fed Yoojung, Doyeon wouldn’t have cared - but it was Somi, Yoojung’s unrequited/requited love - and she definitely cared.

Doyeon kept her feelings in check, though - knowing that her parents would overreact if she asked to leave early. She barely touched her food, her eyes doing more interaction with the rice than her own mouth.

Yoojung noticed this and was close to saying something before she kept her lips shut. She didn’t want to put Doyeon in the spotlight, especially not with the large amount of guests over.

The younger girl jumped up in surprise when she felt a light touch on her bare shin. She looked up to see Yoojung glancing in her direction despite being in a conversation with her two friends. She felt the touch again and saw Yoojung connect eyes with her for less than two seconds, her eyes then flickering towards the untouched food.

Doyeon pushed her seat further back so Yoojung couldn’t reach her, eyes veering away from the girls.

-

Somi’s family was first to leave seeing as they lived farther away than the other two families. Doyeon bowed politely to them at the door and was practically trembling in anxiousness. She just wanted to get home - away from people. (Which was funny considering just six years ago all she wanted most was to be near people).

Jieqiong left after a few more minutes and all that was left was her own family and Yoojung’s. Their parents were talking in the living room but Doyeon was already at the front door, putting her shoes on.

She was shocked when she saw Yoojung reach past her ankles to get her own shoes, slipping them on quickly in order to finish the same time as Doyeon. “Let’s go to the bakery you went to on Monday.” She suggested, words coming out quickly. “I’m craving bread.”

Doyeon’s initial thought was ‘Why couldn’t she just go alone?’ but she then saw Yoojung’s teeth biting into her lower lip out of nervousness (and worry). She blinked.

“I saw that you didn’t eat dinner. I figured you’d rather eat some bread.” Her voice lowered a tad bit, the usual brightness in them dimming. She opened the door for Doyeon and the taller girl couldn’t find it in her heart to disagree.

They walked in a (slightly) awkward silence towards the main part of town. Yoojung didn’t attempt to start a conversation which worried Doyeon considering how the older girl would always at least try.

Yoojung opened the door of the bakery for Doyeon once they reached it. The taller girl walked in first and waited for Yoojung to enter before they walked up to the counter. The person at the counter was an elderly woman this time; her eyes drooping from old age and possibly sleepiness (it was about ten in the evening at that time).

“Two number threes, please.” Yoojung smiled before handing the lady some bills. The woman took the money and struggled to get the register open, shaky hands missing all the correct buttons. “It’s okay.” Yoojung spoke up, catching both the woman’s and Doyeon’s attention. “You can keep the change.”

It was a lot of change - but Yoojung didn’t mind. The woman gave Yoojung a tired smile before heading to the back to get their order. Doyeon looked at Yoojung with admiration in her eyes.

Just how was Choi Yoojung real?

“They’re both for you, by the way.” Yoojung said, tapping her fingers lightly on the counter. “I ate dinner. You didn’t.”

The lady returned with their order and Yoojung took it gratefully with a smile. They left the bakery and Yoojung opened up the wrap around the bread.

She hesitantly held it Doyeon’s lips which caused the younger one to stop walking. Yoojung stopped walking with her and raised her eyebrows. Doyeon reached up and took the bread out of Yoojung’s hand, holding it by herself.

Yoojung retracted her hand, dejection bubbling up in her chest. The atmosphere got even more tense, if that was even possible.

Doyeon, feeling guilty for the awkwardness, took hold of Yoojung’s hand when the girl turned to keep walking. Yoojung looked up at the taller girl, eyes widening slightly. Doyeon took a deep breath before lifting the bread to Yoojung’s mouth, poking the girl’s lips with it.

The action would’ve been awkward had it been anybody else but Doyeon. Yoojung felt her stomach flip and she smiled widely, her earlier frown disappearing within seconds. “It’s okay. I bought two of them for you.”

Doyeon gulped down the lump in and stared at the dark sky filled with bright stars, avoiding Yoojung’s eyes. “Bread is fattening.” She murmured. “Two is too much.”

She heard Yoojung giggle at this and felt her whole body tingle, the girl’s little squeals of happiness enough to make her own lips curve up. She felt a tug on the bread and looked over to see Yoojung struggling to bite off a piece of the pastry. Doyeon brought up her other hand and ripped the piece Yoojung had stuck in off for the older one.

Yoojung let out yet another giggle as she ate it. She patted Doyeon’s arm and continued walking with the girl next to her, the two of them taking turns feeding each other. It made Doyeon realized that she really liked the smaller girl - more than she had initially figured she did.

Once they finished eating their bread, the overwhelming silence enveloped them once more. Yoojung seemed to be in deep thought which would explain her lack of attempting a conversation. Doyeon walked with her hands in her jean pockets, eyes looking around the dirt trail.

“Hey, there’s police at your house.” Yoojung stated as they neared their houses. Doyeon looked up and stopped walking. One police car was parked outside of her house but none of its lights were on and there were no sirens. She gulped and Yoojung gave her an odd look.

“Is everything okay?” She asked with furrowed eyebrows. Doyeon took hold of Yoojung’s hand.

“Let’s just go see what’s going on.” Yoojung said gently, tugging Doyeon towards the house. Doyeon kept a tight grip on the older girl as they opened the front door and entered the house with their shoes still on.

At the living room sat Doyeon’s parents with two police officers and two other people who were cuffed up. Doyeon froze in terror, her hand going slack in Yoojung’s.

“Doyeon, they wanted to visit you.” One police officer said in a gruff voice.

Doyeon stared at the two people who made her life a living hell for ten years. She felt as if her brain had shut down and she shook her head. Yoojung looked over, fingers still loosely interlaced with Doyeon.

The cuffed man stood and went to walk closer to Doyeon but the girl flinched back so violently that Yoojung let out a small gasp. She gripped Doyeon’s shaky hand tighter and turned her head to examine the two people in handcuffs. They seemed to be around the same age as Doyeon’s parents, maybe a little older; a man and a woman.

“Doyeon, we’re sorry.”

Doyeon felt like she couldn’t breathe and she shook her head relentlessly, as if it’d help her get rid of the people. Doyeon’s parents stood to get close to Doyeon but the girl took steps backwards, colliding with Yoojung who raised her free hand onto her back to steady her. Her parents let those people in her house; she really couldn’t trust them at that moment.

“Hey, Doyeon.” A soft voice was what caused Doyeon to stop shaking her head, the world spinning as she steadied her gaze on the shorter girl next to her. “Let’s just go over my house.” She suggested, looking towards Doyeon’s parents for permission. They nodded their heads weakly and watched as Yoojung guided their trembling daughter out of the house.

Mr. Kim sighed.

“I told you she wasn’t ready.”

-

The two girls settled in Yoojung’s bed with the bedside lamp still on. Doyeon was still shaken up but she didn’t seem as pale as she did back at her house. Yoojung had questions flooding her brain but she kept them to herself. Whoever those people were, they really messed up Doyeon’s life.

“I’m here for you.” Was all Yoojung said into the night silence as she stared up at the ceiling. Doyeon choked back a small cry at the back of and slung an arm across Yoojung’s stomach, pulling the girl into her embrace with a small sniffle.

She always knew intimacy was a way to gain comfort but never knew that it’d comfort her that much.

Perhaps it was just because it was with Yoojung that it was so comforting - she did like her, after all.

But, all she knew was that she never wanted to let Yoojung go.

-

It was early when Yoojung woke up but Doyeon was already awake. It made her worry that the younger girl actually hadn’t slept last night at all.

“Hi.” Yoojung croaked, untangling her legs from Doyeon’s as she sat up, leaning back against the headboard. “You didn’t sleep, did you?”

Doyeon answered with a shake of her head, her shoulder brushing against Yoojung’s. She was waiting for Yoojung to ask about last night, mentally preparing herself to dig up her painful past. She didn’t want to, but she’d do it. She’d do it for Yoojung.

But the question never came.

Instead, Yoojung asked,

“You want pancakes for breakfast?”

I JUST WANT TO GIVE A BIG BIG SHOUTOUT TO @NANIKUMAN ON TWITTER FOR THE DODAENG FANART!!! IT’S SUPER AMAZING AND I’M SO HONORED TO HAVE SUCH A GREAT ARTIST DRAW SOMETHING FROM /MY/ FIC! thank you!! also!! I’M BACK!!

-dd.