Chapter 1

-

“If it’s natural for us to want to avoid suffering, why aren’t we spontaneously and naturally more and more repulsed by the negative or unwholesome behaviors as we grow older?”

The brunette swiped her arm across her forehead, wiping the sweat that began to accumulate due to the hot sun burning down on her. Entering the barn, she set the bucket of wheat down in front of the horse stalls. She puffed up her cheeks and tightened her ponytail, this was a tiring task, especially for someone who didn’t have much stamina and strength to begin with.

A gentle snort was heard and Yoojung snapped out of her blank thoughts, looking over to the white mare that was staring at her with seemingly pitch black pupils. A pair of pink lips curved up in a smile.

“Good morning, Haru.”

Reaching out, Yoojung slipped her hand over the stall door as Haru tilted her head down, allowing the teenage girl to pet her mane, “You hungry?” Yoojung asked in a soft tone, grabbing a handful of wheat with her other hand before holding it out to the horse.

“Here you go.” She said, allowing Haru to eat from her hand. Yoojung smiled contently, using her other hand to scratch behind the horse’s relaxed ear.

Her moment of tranquility was interrupted as she heard a faint voice in the distance call for her.

“Yoojung! Hurry up! You have school soon!”

It was her mother.

Releasing a groan, Yoojung let Haru finish the rest of the wheat in her hand before pulling away, "I have to go." She pouted in realization. Her eyes travelled over to the other horses in the stable.

"I'll feed you all first," She grinned, finding a way to keep the thought of school at the back of her mind, "I can't let you all starve, can I?" The sly smirk never left her face as she took her sweet time feeding each and every horse.

In the end, she missed all of her first class and half of her second class, but she didn't mind - school had never been a fun place for her.

It wasn't because she disliked the thought of learning, Yoojung loved learning - that was quite obvious because of her curious personality - but she didn't have many friends at school.

Jieqiong was the only one she would truly call a friend.

"Where were you?" A hushed whisper came from Yoojung's right as her childhood friend questioned her.

Yoojung let out a nonchalant shrug, "Feeding the horses." She answered, jotting down notes mindlessly as the teacher continued to ramble on about things that didn't exactly matter in her life.

Jieqiong her teeth, "Seriously, Yoojung?"

"What? You want them to die of starvation?" Yoojung replied, squinting her eyes to look at the chalkboard.

The older girl let out a playful sigh and shook her head, "You just didn't want to come to school."

Yoojung grinned, "You know me best, Jieqiong."

Jieqiong nudged her playfully, "You know, school isn't that bad when you actually talk to people."

Yoojung had heard this come from Jieqiong many times and yet it never settled into Yoojung's brain, "You tell me this all the time. I know that already."

"Then why don't you do anything?" Came Jieqiong's reply.

The teacher began to walk around and check up on people's notes, causing the two teenage girls to pause in their conversation before resuming it once the teacher had moved away.

"Because it's no use." Yoojung mumbled, "Whenever I even get close to someone, they get scared and never talk to me."

Jieqiong frowned.

"I don't know why everyone's so scared of me."

It only took half a second for Jieqiong to say one sentence that left Yoojung speechless.

"It's because you're scared of them."

The older girl waited for the latter to reply but Yoojung did not. Her lips were now pressed together tightly and Jieqiong’s heart clenched at the sight of her friend. Jieqiong knew that she was right and Jieqiong knew that Yoojung knew she was right. Yoojung just didn’t wait to admit it.

And so, for the rest of class, Yoojung kept mum, lost in her own thoughts as Jieqiong casted wary glances towards her every now and then.

-

Jieqiong swatted a fly away from their lunch table as she watched Yoojung pick at her food with guilty eyes. She spoke softly, “Yoo, if you’re still hung up about the thing I said in Math class then I’m-”

Yoojung cut in, “I’m not mad at you, Jieqiong.” She sighed, “You’re right, okay?”

The other girl kept herself quiet as she waited for Yoojung to continue. Yoojung had her eyes set on a tree not too far from the outside picnic table they were sitting at for lunch. Jieqiong watched as Yoojung folded her fingers together and placed them onto her lap, a sign that she was nervous and was trying her best to keep calm.

“You’re right. I am scared.” She admitted as Jieqiong’s lips curved up the slightest bit at Yoojung finally admitting something she had known ever since she met the younger girl. “Scared of what’ll happen if I get close to someone, only to have them leave me.” Yoojung mumbled, eyes looking anywhere but Jieqiong’s, “I just don’t want the same thing to happen with… you-know-who.”

Jieqiong knew exactly who Yoojung was talking about.

“Not everyone is like her, you know?” The tall girl said. Yoojung gave a sad smile and a nod.

“Yeah, but she was like that.”

-

“Instead of playing around with those horses your father owns, why don’t you learn how to cook? You have not one bit of cooking skill.”

Yoojung huffed a cheek as she paused mid-way on the steps of her back porch, hearing her mother talk to her. All she wanted to do was to groom the horses and take Haru for a ride and now she was going to have to hear her mother go on about her not being an ideal housewife.

“Maybe next time, mother.” Yoojung called out over her shoulder before her mother continued to rant and ran down the rest of the steps, running a marathon to the barn so there was no way her mother could stop her.

The middle-aged lady let out a scoff of disbelief and turned to look at the twelve year old girl sitting at the dining table, “Now, wasn’t that disrespectful?”

And like the good girl she was expected to be, Sohye nodded in agreement.

-

Yoojung was not in a good mood after Jieqiong had brought her up. She had rode Haru a little more forcefully that evening, burning off steam that came with the good and bad memories she carried with her.

Just the thought of her made Yoojung tingle, even if it has been three years since she had left.

-

Yoojung heard footsteps coming her way and she knew it was either her mother or Jieqiong that had come to find her.

“Yoojung.”

It was Jieqiong.

“I’m fine.” The brunette gave a weak smile, looking up at her friend who gave her worried looks.

“Jungah.”

Hearing Jieqiong call her that, Yoojung frowned immediately and the tears welled up in her eyes. Jieqiong let out a deep breath and sat next to Yoojung.

“You’re obviously not fine.” She stated, wrapping an arm around Yoojung’s shoulder, letting the girl’s head fall onto her shoulder.

“I miss her so much.” Yoojung whispered, not letting the tears fall.

Jieqiong nodded quietly, “I miss her, too.” She replied.

Yoojung’s gaze casted over to Haru who had laid down, nose lightly touching the soil beneath her. “I went too hard on Haru.” Yoojung admitted guiltily, “Look. She’s still trying to catch her breath.”

Jieqiong rubbed Yoojung’s shoulder and gave a light kiss to her forehead, “Come on, let’s head back on foot and let Haru walk without some weight on her back.” Yoojung nodded in agreement, standing up along side Jieqiong.

-

After settling Haru back into her stable, the two girls walked back to Yoojung’s house.

“Mind if I stay over?” Jieqiong asked, “My mom already thinks I am.”

Yoojung smiled, shrugging nonchalantly, “Sure thing.”

They walked in silence as the crickets began to chirp, the sky getting darker and darker with each passing minute.

Yoojung instinctively held onto Jieqiong’s hand, “You’re not gonna ask questions about why I was crying?” She asked gently.

Jieqiong didn’t look at Yoojung as she spoke. She kicked at the pebbles on the ground, “Nah, I already know why you were crying. I don’t wanna rub salt into your open wounds right now.”

She turned her head and squeezed Yoojung’s hand, “It’s going to be hard to forget your first love, Yoojung, but sometimes... you gotta do what you gotta do.”

Jieqiong was the only person Yoojung had told about her feelings for Somi and surprisingly, Jieqiong was totally accepting of it - of her.

“Even if that means crying my heart out?” Yoojung asked meekly, chewing on her bottom lip.

Jieqiong nodded, a small smile appearing on her face, “Even if it means crying your heart out.” She confirmed.

She lightly bumped her shoulder with Yoojung’s, “Because then, I, as your best friend, will be there to wipe away your tears and help you move on.”

“You’re the best, Jieqiong.” Yoojung said, playing with Jieqiong’s fingers that were interlaced with her own as they approached the house.

“Of course. I am your best friend.” Jieqiong grinned and Yoojung gave a small giggle.

Yoojung’s eyes focused on the house next to her own and noticed something a little odd, “What’s that?” She pointed.

Jieqiong squinted her eyes to focus her vision, “Looks like a moving truck.”

“Eh? New neighbors?”

“Seems so.” Jieqiong nodded as they walked up Yoojung’s front steps slowly.

Yoojung hummed a bit, “Hmm. I hope they aren’t weird.”

Jieqiong chuckled and opened the door for her best friend. “We haven’t had a new neighbor in a long time. No one ever comes to this small town.”

It was true. At a town like Yoojung’s, no one visited for vacation unless a family member lived there. The town was relatively small, small enough for everyone to know each other - or at least know of each other.

“Wonder where they came from.” Yoojung said, walking into the house with Jieqiong following behind her.

Jieqiong nudged Yoojung’s hip. “You think they have a cute son?”

“Doubt it.” Yoojung laughed. “Even if they did, what if he was ugly?”

They walked up the stairs to Yoojung’s bedroom. “It’d be a shame.” Jieqiong sighed dramatically, falling onto Yoojung’s bed. The younger girl smacked her leg.

“Get off my bed! You need to shower!”

“Oh, right.” Jieqiong rolled her eyes. “I forgot how petty you are about me being on your bed before I cleanse myself.” She said. Yoojung narrowed her eyes, setting her back down on her desk.

Jieqiong giggled and jumped up, running over to Yoojung’s closet to get some clothes. “I want to shower first. You always use up all the hot water.”

“Be my guest.” Yoojung muttered.

Once Jieqiong had left her room, Yoojung peeked outside her window, looking over at the new neighbors. The moving truck was still there, a couple of people unloading it.

Yoojung pursed her lips as she wondered about the neighbors. Would they be nice? Or would they not socialize at all? Yoojung knew her parents tended to be over-friendly and hoped they wouldn’t push it too far.

It had been a while since Yoojung met someone new.