Sooyoung's POV

"Hello?"

"Hey, Sunny, it's me," I spoke into the phone, nervously while fiddling my fingers. It was 7:00 PM exactly, right when I knew she was done feeding her chubby Maltese dog Lilly and was reclining in her huge leather swivel chair, as usual. Despite all that happened, I still contacted her, hesitating a bit before firmly pressing upon the dial for her call, speed dial #2. The dark navy skies, fortunately, mirrored my anxious feelings by banging on my windows with their ferocious winds, obviously needing to punch something like I did. In front of me, my laptop was blaring out various images of the billionth anime I was watching, but for the first time I wasn't listening. Their entertaining Japanese words and comedy were going to waste as the one voice I used to hate hearing the most now began haunting me day and night -

Jiyeon.

My one evidence of my one, biggest, ultimate failure.

Just how could she go like that?

"Oh," Sunny said. Then, "What's up, why are you calling me?"

"I, um...Well, I was just wondering..." I stammered stupidly, my foot impatiently tapping against the wheels of my swivel chair, dying to get the words out. Oh, just spit it out Choi Sooyoung!

Sunny didn't say anything, anything at all, so after a few more seconds I finally said, shutting my eyes in anticipation of what I knew would be a disappointing reply, "Did you perhaps...See Jiyeon anywhere? Anywhere at all?"

"...No, why?"

"Is she gone or something? She's probably just hanging out with that Sohee girl or my sister Chaerin," she added casually, smacking her gum, loudly, into the phone. "You know they always have impromptu meets, mostly because our moms and dads never gave a into wherever we went."

Right, I thought, recounting all the times she snuck out to her boyfriend Sungmin/Henry/Doojoon/Jongwoon/Jinki's apartment and didn't return until she had to pick up Chaerin from her middle school. But by then, of course nobody found out since she had time to clean up after her nightly exercise and almost daily hangovers. But anyways, the fact that both of our parents never kept tabs on us was a sad, but true fact. I'd been trying to fix it all this time, but obviously I've failed, haven't I? Terribly, impossibly failed...

Jiyeon.

"Hello?" Sunny spoke this time, sounding more than a little impatient. Hearing her voice pop my bubble of swirling memories, I quickly snapped out of my reverie, which mainly consisted of the times where I mostly bashed on Jiyeon, both physically and emotionally, for doing this and that wrong. I knew I was being tense, but I didn't know she took  it such a wrong way; obviously I haven't been putting my own world aside even for a moment for my little sister. I could blame her, saying that she took everything in such a harder way than it needed to be. But in the end I knew I had no one to blame but myself, for I started this in the first place...I could've treated her a whle lot better; be the shield that she needed from our stupid parents, and be someone better than them...But instead, I guess I turned into someone worse than them, not only because I was scared for her, but mainly because I was scared of myself, for all the trouble I went through in the past through my two butthole parents...

Just how messed up was I? The whole family, actually...?

How come we can't be just like everybody else?

"Y-Yeah, what were you saying? I'm sorry..."

I heard her huff hotly into my phone, as expected, before she said, enunciating every word, "I said, after mentioning Sohee and Chaerin and whatever other friends she may have, that maybe she ran away, I don't know."

Using every ounce of my inner will to not roll my eyes [even if she couldn't see it], I replied, as casually as I could, "But she did run away, Sunny! At least, that's what I think. That's why I'm calling you in the first place."

"Oh." Smack, smack. "Well, I can't help you much there then. But hey, Sungmin oppa's dad is a police officer, so want me to call him?"

If you can find time between all your making out, I thought. Out loud, though, I said, "Sure, Sunny! Thanks a lot!"

"Mmhmm, love you!" she called out, before the dial tone ended our conversation. So much for recruiting some old friendship back, if not some clues as to where my sister could've gone. It's been almost 48 hours already, and nearly everything was the way she left it. Her crumpled orange fur blanket, her neat-and-tidy desk that always strangely contrasted with mine, edges of her clothes peeking out from her drawrers, the one thing of hers never really organized. Logging onto her Facebook [Sorriez! I never usually do this kind of stuff, but hey, we're in an emergency here], none of her friends voiced out their concern for their absence, at least so far. The only evidence that she was still alive, I realized, was by one post by this dudette named Lee Jieun who, rather giddily, making me raise my eyebrows, posted:

Jiyeon Park Kim HyunA Tiffany Hwang Seung Ho Yoo Yang Yoseob (of course!) Jang Wooyoung Jia Meng Sunye Min we had THE BEST TIME SHOPPING YEAH? OMG JIYEON'S NEW DRESS WAS SO CA-YOOT! DON'T U THINK SO SEUNG-PPA? AND THEN OHMAGOD kudos to u HyunA and Sunye, for getting those limited edition faux fur jackets! Omg that was so cute, and - "

And on and on it went, with a bunch of comments from those people she tagged, plus more random F.O.B.'s that I used to always roll my eyes at back when I was in high school. Sure, I made sure for them not to see it. But still. Anyway, the real, main point was that Jiyeon was at least alive, thank God. Pardon me, but I can't deny the fact that I was starting to get a bit uncomfortable as I imagined something bad happening to her. From watching several criminal investigations shows, it was only natural that I would image her being somewhat bloody or reported missing, only to be held captive by some weird psycho missing his dead ex-wife.

But no, she was living, healthy, and alive. Alive and well, popular? With a, uh, "so ca-yoot!" dress, which was, by the way, something she never really wore back when she was in our world. Mostly because of being stuck within suffocating circumstances which we couldn't squirm out of based on our own whim, but also because of her constant introverted-ness that she never opted to buy one even if she wanted to. She basically chose to not get the things she wanted, and then moped after it, causing all of us great stress and calamity. Maybe that was one reason I hated her so much. Because she kept hurting herself, when in fact she never needed to.

Was that the reason why I was such a to her? Was that why she kept everything to herself, never even trying to reach out despite all our situations? Because she was so broken inside?

You idiot, I thought, my slumped shoulders slightly shaking. We're here for a reason you know, going along with you in your path of life. You're the one that made me resort to such circumstances, just because you kept hiding everything to yourself and, in the end, only thought about that as you kept blindly stumbling through life, making the same mistakes and never giving a towards anything else.

You selfish, stupid ...Just when are you going to recover?

And...Who's Seung-Ho Yoo again? That name somewhat sounds familiar...Hmm...

But anyway, I thought, lightly slapping my temple to get back to attention. The skillfully drawn anime characters were still blaring out their incoherent messages toward me from the screen, but it continued to fail in attracting my sight, for I had bigger things to think about. Think about that familiar Seung Ho dude later, Choi Sooyoung! 'Cause the real problem is...Whether I should pick her up or not.

Well, "pick-up" being a rather light term. 'Cause it was more like dragging her away from her temporary spotlight of hanging out with F.O.B.'s and wearing "ca-yoot!" dresses before it got to her narrow-minded head, making it soon expand expand with nothing but air and well, glamour. Something else I knew she always craved yet always lacked. It was a habit of hers, to do this. I knew that all too well; just look at her hobbies and you would know too. If you just knew where to look...

Park Jiyeon, I thought, heaving a great, big, tired sigh. Just what am I supposed to? What am I supposed to do with you, huh? I lived with you for fifteen years, watched you grow ever since you were as small as a potato sack, and endured  your process of growth for what seems like ten eternities. From my constant blow-outs I must've reincarnated at least ten times. No joke. But anyway, do you get my point? What, for hell's sakes, am I supposed to do with you? You know I always find my way through everything, no matter how hard it is. You know I'm always an independent person, only depending on friends when I really need to. Sunny got the hint plenty well enough after our drift and terrible fight, and finally Jessica understands, too. But still.

Just...how can you get me so lost?

How can you make me feel like such a failure?

How can you always make me start over for the thousandth time?

I try, I always try, but...why does that always go to waste with you? Just when is this all going to change?

And more importantly...Should I even make anything change anymore? Or just let you live and wander around in your brand new fantasy, untouched and left alone? Tell me Jiyeon, just tell me. An answer is all I need, so that hopefully I can be left in peace. Please?

Deep inside though, I knew, with every fiber of my being, that in the end I would never be able to let go of her. No matter how hard I tried, there would always be at least a hair-like strand connecting our intertwined souls, forever. And that was enough to make me burn with rage, for it meant that I, too, would never be relieved of this suffering. And that was also enough to make me click logout with my mouse upon her Facebook profile, logging out of her life forevermore.

Or so I thought.