We are not different
ResentmentChapter Twenty Four
We are not different
Previously:
"Yeah... Don't think that I see myself as a pitiful person... I know I wasn't.... I was lucky enough to get that opportunity and have a great career... even though it wasn't what I wanted... I don't regret any of it...."
"But....?"
Jaejoong looked up meeting the other's soft eyes in question.
"I'm waiting for you to continue.... I know there is a but after what you said...."
Jaejoong sighed knowing that Yunho wasn't that stupid and apparently he could read him like an open book.
"But... I don't know who am I anymore... or where do I belong...."
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"So.... You came back here to look for those answers? to find yourself?"
Yunho's sarcastic tone made him angry.
"You have no right to judge, Yunho... you have always known who you are... and what you are going to do with your life... you had your dad's work and responsibilities to carry and you knew what you wanted to be in your life! unlike me.... I had nothing!"
"You might be right... but we have a lot of similarities in many ways even though you may think that we are different..."
Yunho said with a gentle smile.
"Like what?"
"Our mothers abandoned us...."
"Umma didn't! She passed away!"
Jaejoong said.
"I know Jaejoong-ah... Don't get me wrong.... death is considered as abandonment... as in term she wasn't there..."
Yunho said watching the other look away biting his lower full lip.
"We both worked hard to get our fathers' appreciation..."
Jaejoong nodded looking up meeting the other's eyes.
"Though our fathers were completely opposite..."
"What do you mean?"
Jaejoong asked.
"I mean that Appa was addicted to women... while your dad couldn't forget your mom and that's mostly why he kept
moving with you being dragged from a place to another... he couldn't find the feeling of peace or belonging anymore...."
"You have no right to say that! Dad worked so hard to take care of me and get whatever I needed..."
Jaejoong replied angrily.
"I'm not saying that your dad is a bad person... I'm just making a comparison... I mean... look at my dad... He would fool around and do whatever to satisfy his women but they would leave him alone in the end..."
"Is that why you don't trust in others... don't trust in relationships..."
Jaejoong asked looking into the other's eyes in challenge.
"Do you believe that if you find someone you love, he or she would never leave you?"
Yunho answered with a question.
"Of course!"
Jaejoong replied hiding the chills he felt running through his spine.
"You are silly... love is just a temporary feeling.... in my life... love is a name for a relationship built on interests and privilages.... and my stepmother is a big example of how others would see me.... People aren't interested in me... they are after the money and the position I have.... I've seen many pretty ones try and hook up with me for that purpose and it makes me feel disgusted..."
Yunho's words felt like stabs in his chest....
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