Hey

It's been a while since I've actually talked to you like this, but as you've seen things have been a bit...ed up?
I'm writing this to you on the day of Sehun's death. At this point in time it is still only Tao, Kris and I who know of his death. We're not sure how to tell anyone yet.

In the space of two weeks we have lost;
-Luhan and Sehun due to death
-Chanyeol's eye due to a fight or me if you want to put it that way

-Baekhyun because he saw said eye, he hasn't returned and no one has seen him. Chanyeol's starting to think that he may be dead
-Kyungsoo

Kyungsoo.
I don't know where he has gone to, all I know is that he hasn't been around in nearly over a week. Who knows what he's doing.
At the moment, I don't really care about where he has run off to. What I care about is why he would write me that note to meet me at the tree.
Did he know that Sehun would be there? And if so why would he want me to be the one to find him?

I thought he loved me. But you don't do that to someone that you love, do you?

I haven't gotten round to reading the note that Sehun left, I can't bring myself to do it. In there are his dying thoughts, dying words, I don't want to read them.
But according to Kris I have to.  And I will, when I can bring myself to do it. But for now I've hidden it away in my room, I don't want to think about it never mind look at it.

Anyway, going back to Kyungsoo.
I do hope that he is alright, even if my feelings and thoughts about him right now are mixed. I miss him so much and just want him to be in my arms, where he belongs. But now that's too much to ask for, by the looks of it.
I also hope that Baekhyun will come back soon. Maybe he's with Kyungsoo, who knows?
But Chanyeol misses him...a lot. I know I should hate Chanyeol for what he has done, but I think taken away half of his sight was enough. Chanyeol isn't eating, he won't come out of his room and he hasn't talked to anyone in days.
He's like Sehun.

We will find Kyungsoo and Baekhyun soon, I'm going to make sure of it. You'll wait to see them again, won't you?

I've been wondering if Sehun made it to Luhan. Kris mentioned that he wasn't there when they talked to Luhan but that was hours ago, surely he's with him now?
I hope they're happy.
They better get married. I just wish I could see the wedding, maybe Luhan will use that power that he was using today to show it to us.
I can dream can't I?
Honestly, it's thoughts like that, that are stopping me from going insane right now. I need something to hold onto before I completely lose it.

I have another thing that is both bothering and confusing me.
The demon marks that were left on Sehun.
Why were they there? Surely he was just tainted, right?
There is no way that he could have been one, he wouldn't have even been able to stay on this planet if he was.
He was surrounded by angels.
At least I think he was.
I'm not the only angel  - that's what I’ve been telling myself all this time. But now, I don't know.

Am I the only angel?