Someday, BamBam wouldn’t choose the greasiest accessories he could find to wear during national broadcasts. But for now, Jackson would have to deal with the sight of his friend in a dog collar decorated in spikes and chains. “Did you really have to pick something so slave-ish, Bam?” he asked as they walked off the stage, pointing at the other’s throat.

Jackson, BamBam and Yugyeom, jointly known as TITAN, had always been known for their looks. Even as an awkward debut group, they’d gotten recognized for their visual prowess. Not that their music wasn’t good. Each comeback, their concepts got a little more intense. This time around, it was an almost risque type y, one that allowed Bam to push the limits a little.

“No one was even looking at me,” Yugyeom whined, patting a towel on his sweat-soaked face. “They were all too busy staring at your neck.”

None of the complaints bothered the Thai idol, who just smirked and shrugged as he handed his microphone to the stage assistant and made his way toward their dressing room. Yugyeom, being the gigantic baby he was, continued pestering BamBam, poking and nudging him as he followed along. The two were practically inseparable, no matter what was going on.

Jackson was about to follow them when he noticed a familiar figure standing on the opposite side of the stage. The height gave away who it was almost immediately. Youjin. Next to him were four other tall, handsome guy, all focused on checking their microphones and outfits before the moved on stage. TITAN was popular, but Youjin’s group, Sector Five, were legends.

Despite all that, though, Jackson and Youjin were close. When Jackson had first moved to Korea from Hong Kong, Youjin had taken him under his wing. He’d helped the younger with his monthly exam routines or took him out just so Jackson could practice his Korean. They’d been like brothers.

Jackson missed those days. Though Youjin was only a year older than Jackson, he debuted two years before. Once he’d debuted, time to hang out and help Jackson prepare suddenly became scarce. They still talked and texted when they could, but they weren’t nearly as close now.

As they moved onto the stage, the other members of Sector Five just nodded politely when they saw Jackson. But when Youjin, who was always the last to notice anything, finally saw him, he smiled and waved quickly. Their performance was impressive, even from the awkward side view where Jackson was standing. Yugyeom had replayed a recording of their stage from one of the previous week’s music shows non-stop ever since it aired, but it somehow never got old. They pulled off the charismatic, powerful concept perfectly.

They only needed to record it once before the crew dismissed them. Youjin flashed a smile at Jackson as they walked off. “I was hoping I’d see you today,” he said. They pulled each other into a quick, brotherly embrace, patting each other on the back a few times before making their way back toward the dressing rooms. Jackson didn’t even bother mentioning that they would’ve seen each other at the end of the show anyway, since they were competing against each other for first place.

They silently decided to head to Jackson’s dressing room, knowing it would be at least a little less chaotic since he only had to share with two others rather than four. As soon as they walked in, the Yugyeom and BamBam decided they wanted snacks and left for the convenience store down the block. Jackson knew they had other motives beside food, but as long as they didn’t get kidnapped or killed while they were gone, he didn’t really care what they were plotting right now.

Catching up with friends calmed Jackson. Listening to other people talk about their lives helped him escape from his own for a little while. It made him feel a little more like a regular human and less like an animal in the zoo. Not that he didn’t love his life. It was just that sometimes, he just didn’t want to think.

“Jiyeon wants to tell everyone,” Youjin sighed. The lack of enthusiasm in his voice made Jackson glance up. Shouldn’t he be excited talking about his soulmate? The two had been together for over a year now, an impressive stretch to keep a relationship secret. But he sounded tired talking about her now.

Youjin was slumped in one of the makeup stools, arms dangling down to the side. If a human could deflate, that would be what they looked like. “I’d love to tell everyone. Trust me, I would. I just… I don’t think it’s time yet, that’s all. I don’t want the guys to suffer because of me.”

Jackson understood. It’s why he hadn’t screamed from every rooftop imaginable that he’d found his soulmate. When it came to their favorite stars, fans could get hypocritical. They wished for their happiness, but a lot also secretly hoped that they would be their bias’ soulmate. The very, very rare instances of idol/fan pairings kept just enough hope alive to be detrimental. As soon a celebrity announced that they started seeing color, the fans would abandon them. If too many fans left, and an entire group could suffer.

That meant most celebrities tried their best to hide their relationships. Keyword being tried. A lot failed. Some slipped up in public. Some got caught by the gossip-driven news outlets that stalked idols, desperate for juicy news to sell. Most just crumbled under the pressure of keeping things hidden.

The only good thing about Mark living on the other end of the world, Jackson knew, was that it made their relationship easier to hide. Whatever their relationship was.

“Sorry,” Youjin muttered. “I really didn’t mean to unload that all on you. It’s just been in my head a lot recently and I think I just needed to say it all out loud.” Jackson just shrugged, taking a swig from one of the water bottles sitting on the counter. “Besides, I think you’re more familiar than anyone with hiding your soulmate.

Coughing up water, Jackson stared wide-eyed at Youjin. “What?” he asked, his voice squeaking a little.

Youjin just rolled his eyes. “Come on, Jackson. You don’t have to hide it from me. I know you. Sure, you’re nice, but giving your number to a stranger is extreme, even for you.”

. He’d slipped up enough to get caught. Suddenly his mind began running a million miles an hour. Youjin was one of his closest friends, but what if someone else had caught on? What if someone else saw through it all? What if Mark had told someone already? He needed to find his phone.

“Jackson,” Youjin said. His voice was sharp enough to pull Jackson from his momentary panic-induced attention lapse. He reached out, placing a hand on top of Jackson’s. “Calm down. If anyone else suspected, they would have said something by now. I mean, it’s been like a week, right?”

Jackson nodded, but still glanced around for his phone. A message just in case wouldn’t hurt anything. “It was really that obvious?” Jackson asked.

“Well, it’s a little easier as someone who’s known you for almost five years now. I can see when something’s different. You looked at that guy like he was the only person around.” Jackson always knew that Youjin had a knack for reading people, but being able to see all that just through a cell phone video bordered on super power levels.

“That’s how it felt,” Jackson admitted. “I didn’t even remember that all the other people were around. As soon as I saw him, I just…”

“You just knew.” Youjin finished the sentence for him. There was no way to explain the feeling through words. It was just something that people understood once they’d experienced it. “So what happened? Where is he now?”

Jackson’s breath hitched. “He’s uhm,” he muttered, feeling his chest tighten up a little. He hated saying it out loud. It made everything feel more real. When he’d told his mother, he’d almost broke down in the middle of the studio. “He’s in America.” Youjin’s eyes dropped for a second, his expression shifting from shock to understanding to sadness.

They didn’t say much more after that, instead sitting in sad, thoughtful silence until Yugyeom and BamBam burst through the door. Bags of snacks hung from their arms. “Oh! Youjin-ssi!” BamBam squeaked as he noticed the two of them. “We didn’t know you were still here. We’ll go find someplace else to-”

“I was just leaving,” Youjin interrupted, moving from his seat. “It looks like you guys have lots of food to eat before the show starts. I should really get back to the others anyway.” He turned back to Jackson for a second, clapping the younger on the shoulder. “Let me know if you need anything. But you’ll get through it.” He said it just soft enough for the others not to hear. Then, after giving his shoulder a quick squeeze, Youjin left.

As the run through of that day’s show played on the TV in their dressing room, Yugyeom and BamBam danced along with as many acts as they could. Sure, eating and jumping around at the same time probably wasn’t the best idea. But the two were teenagers, so they didn’t care.

Usually, Jackson would laugh along, sometimes pointing out their mistakes or joining in. But with Mark on his mind, he couldn’t bring himself to do anything but nibble on a chocolate bar and stare at his phone. Every now and then, he’d type out a message to Mark then delete it. The message always sounded wrong.

“Hyung, are you alright?” Jackson didn’t notice BamBam had moved next to him until he spoke, making Jackson almost jump out of his seat. “You’ve been awfully quiet.”

“Oh, I’m fine,” Jackson muttered. “Just thinking.”

“About your boyfriend?” Yugyeom called from the other end of the room. No conversation was ever private when it came to the three of them. While that was probably for the best most of the time, Jackson still couldn’t help but get annoyed every now and then.

He looked away, turning back to his phone. He just stared at the black screen, frozen at the thought of how to put his concerns in a text without sounding like a complete . He’d call, but international charges were a that even he couldn’t justify unless they were completely necessary.

“You can always tell us about it, you know,” BamBam suggested.

“Hey! We’re up!” Yugyeom interrupted, waving them over to the couches near the TV. Bam rushed over immediately, plopping down next to Yugyeom. Jackson followed slowly, deciding just to stand behind a chair instead.

Whoever edited their performance together really loved BamBam. Though the parts were pretty evenly distributed among the three of them, over half of the screen time went to the skinniest of them all. Not like Jackson could blame them, really. The dog collar wrapped around the younger’s neck made him stand out. That and his icy, ultra-charismatic stares that he gave the camera. Girls would be squealing over him near and far, for sure.

“Man, I’m gonna get laid tonight,” Bam muttered, smirking to himself as the video jumped to the next performer. That brought on a series of Yugyeom’s screaming complaints, giving Jackson all the more reason to go sit back down at the makeup counter.

Hey, did you tell anyone about us?

That sounded casual enough, right? Not implying anything extreme or worrisome? Jackson read over the message a hundred times, using a different mental voice each time to make sure that there was no possible way Mark could freak out over it.

Once he hit the send button, he shoved his phone back in his bag, too terrified to look. He almost deleted the message right after he sent it, but he knew that Mark would still see the notification. He’d still see the message. There was no going back now.

Jackson didn’t check his phone again until after the show ended a couple hours later. When the MCs announced TITAN as this week’s winner, the first thing he thought of was how much he wanted to call Mark. To share the good news with his connected stranger. His something. God, was he in deep. When he looked at his phone, though, expecting to see his message still waiting, unread, he noticed the little 1 missing next to the text bubble.

Mark had seen his message, but there was no response. Jackson waited a few minutes, telling himself that Mark must’ve only just seen the message and was typing at that very moment. But as time inched by, that hope crumbled to dust. He’d seen the message and hadn’t bothered to reply. That could mean only one of two things.

Either Mark had fallen back asleep before responding, or he was upset.

Jackson hoped and prayed that it wasn’t the latter.

Waking up to a text from the guy you couldn’t stop thinking about asking if he’d told anyone about “us” wasn’t what Mark considered a good start to the day. It really put a damper on everything. One that, no matter how bright the sun was shining outside, couldn’t be lifted.

The morning only got worse when, just as he shoved the first spoonful of cereal into his mouth, he heard a knock at the door. He finished chewing, waiting to see if any of his roommates came running to the door to answer it. No one. Mark sighed, carefully putting his bowl on the side table and moving to the door.

“OhmygodMark,” the girl on the other side blurted before he’d even opened the door all the way. “I was hoping you were here. Except maybe it’d be better if you weren’t. I don’t really know. Is Jinyoung here?”

“What’s going on, Anna?” he asked. Even though she was their friend and neighbor, she hardly ever came over without letting them know first. She certainly never came over all frantic like this. “Why do you need Jinyoung?”

She stepped past Mark into the living room, not bothering to wait to be invited in, and sunk into the couch. “I, uhm… Just… Is Jinyoung here? It’d really be better if he was here.”

Mark glanced at the digital clock and shook his head. “He works mornings on Saturday. You know that.” It freaked him out a little that she was this scattered. She was usually so calm and composed. Nerdy and social, sure. But never anything like this. “Just tell me what’s going on.”

fell open like she was going to just ask for Jinyoung again, but she closed it again almost immediately and sighed. “Okay. You’ll wanna come sit down.”

As he sat down next to her, she held out her phone just enough to grab Mark’s attention. On the screen was a picture of Jackson and another guy, taller and more toned than Mark, embracing. It wasn’t anything intimate, exactly, but it still made Mark’s stomach drop.

“They’ve been friends since before Jackson debuted,” Anna said, quickly shutting off her phone so he couldn’t see the picture anymore. Not like it would be hard to find later. “Besides, they’re way more touchy feely over there. I’m sure they were just saying hi. I just thought it’d be better for you to see it now than pop up later. I know you’re not exactly into all this stuff.”

This stuff. Jackson’s life. His friends. His career. Mark knew nothing about them, aside from the things he’d managed to read on the internet. Who knew how much of that was true. No, Mark knew close to nothing about Jackson. Yet here he was, trying to make sure his breath stayed steady so his throat wouldn’t tighten up from the jealousy and hurt surging through his body.

All he could do was nod at Anna once she’d finished, letting her know he heard and understood everything she said. Once she realized that he wasn’t going to say anything, she walked away. Pausing with one hand on the front door, she looked back. “You should talk to him,” she said. “If I know anything as his fan, it’s that he’s a good guy.” And, without another word, she let herself out.

The wave of feelings that crushed him as soon as the door closed paralyzed Mark. It was all a web that he couldn’t get out of. Instead, he just tangled himself in it further the more he struggled to understand it all.

Then he remembered Jackson’s message.

He was such an idiot. Anger swept over Mark. His fist clutched the couch cushion, grip tightening until his knuckles faded to white. How had he been so stupid to think that this thing he had with Jackson, whatever it was, would just work out without a hitch? How had he even thought he could compete with other celebrities? With people who were right there, able to be with him every day.

The anger faded quickly, giving way to inexplicable sadness. These type of possessive thoughts weren’t supposed to come around for someone he’d only spent an evening with. He wasn’t supposed to get this effected by a picture. But it was the picture and the message together that hurt Mark the most. It couldn’t be a coincidence that the two both happened around the same time.

Grabbing his bowl of cereal, Mark shuffled back into his room and curled up in bed. The mixture of wanting to punch a hole in his wall and hoping he could shrink into nothingness made him mentally exhausted. One empty cereal bowl later, his eyes fluttered shut and he fell back asleep.

“Mark?” Jinyoung’s voice woke him up. He felt a hand clutched around his arm, shaking his body a little. “Wake up. You’ve gotta get ready for work.” Mark’s eyebrows furrowed, eyes still closed.

“Jinyoung-ie, I don’t work until nine tonight,” he whined, turning over to lay on his other side.

“It’s almost 7, Mark,” Jinyoung replied.

That was enough to make Mark get up. He stared at his friend, eyes wide. He hadn’t woken up that late this morning. It had definitely been before noon. How had he managed to sleep so long?

“You left your phone in the living room, by the way,” Jinyoung added, tossing the smartphone on the bed. “Jaebum was supposed to make sure you were awake, but I guess he couldn’t bother to do more than text. There’s like 20 missed calls on there, though.” Mark tapped the screen, making it come to life, and inhaled softly.

GaGa (13 Missed Calls)
Voicemail (3)
Light of Jinyoung’s Life (2 Messages)
852Puppy (4)

Mark just closed his eyes and tipped back over in bed. He couldn’t handle anything to do with Jackson right now. He had work in two hours and he couldn’t go back into an emotionally-overloaded stupor.

“Is everything okay?” Jinyoung asked from the doorway. Mark shook his head, still buried in the covers. He knew his friend probably had some confused look on his face and sighed. “I’ll explain later. I really need food.”

Peanut butter and jelly was about the extent of Mark’s culinary abilities, so that’s what he settled for when it came to dinner. Well, about eight, to be exact. As he scarfed them down, his mind ran through his wardrobe, trying to decide what he should wear to work. The club wasn’t exactly the most well-lit place, so most of the time he got away with looking pretty casual without anyone noticing or caring.

Today was different, though. Getting noticed was the goal tonight. He needed to work his emotions out through music. He needed to forget everything that happened over the past few weeks. He needed to forget Jackson Wang, if only for one night.

Mark had to dig the mesh shirt out from the back of his closet. Jaebum had got it for him on his birthday a couple years ago, more as a gag gift than anything else. Practically transparent clothes and Mark didn’t exactly go hand-in-hand most days. But he’d be lying if he said he had never worn it before. Sometimes, on days when his hormones had raged more than usual, he’d thrown it on and wandered out to the club just for a little physical contact.

Never had he broken it out for work before, though. There was always a first for everything. He matched it with a perfectly-fitted pair of pants and suit jacket, finishing it all off with a pair of chain-decorated black boots. Suave yet dangerous, he thought. Styling his hair up off his forehead was second nature at this point, letting it fall down on one side in a perfect wave of platinum.

Both Jinyoung and Jaebum’s jaws dropped when he walked into the living room. There was no possible way he wouldn’t get hit on tonight.

So I couldn't just leave it as just Jackson's POV, so we have the first ever dual POV chapter! Yay! This took a while for me to write, simply because I kept writing and rewriting Jackson's section. I'm so glad I brought Youjin into the story though. He's a great guy to bring in as an emotional aid for Jackson, but he's got the looks to make Mark jealous. ;)

I feel like a lot and not much happened all at the same time in this chapter. I'm really hoping to pump it up in the next few chapters, so stay tuned.

In the meantime, I hope you're all enjoying the uber amounts of Markson that's happening recently. They give me so much inspiration. Keep it coming, boys. Haha