Chapter 4

Save Me From Myself
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Byulyi isn't sure if she's scared out of her wits or just disbelieving.  

 

There in front of her sits Kim Solar in all of her Solar glory, looking very much like the regular Kim Solar - except her eyes are acid yellow, she actually sounds her age and she's saying that she's called Kim Yongsun.

 

The office--art studio is filled with tense silence. Byulyi struggles with herself, averting her gaze from those bright yellow orbs.

 

“I see you're having some trouble believing me. We do have a lot of time, dear psychologist, so make yourself another cup of coffee and get comfortable.” Solar - Yongsun smiles, and that same set of straight, pearly white teeth showcase themselves to Byulyi. The smile is not as happy or as fake as Solar's had been - it’s a dangerous, alluring smile that doesn't fit Solar's innocent face at all. And it freaks Byulyi out completely.

 

Byulyi doesn't touch her cup of now-cold coffee. Her hands are clasped firmly in her lap, her face just as pale as Solar's had been when she entered the office minutes ago. Her tongue darts out, tip moistening her dry lips. Her honey brown bangs fall into her eyes, but she doesn't bother to brush them away. “Just explain yourself, before I really call up a mental institution.”

 

Solar - Yongsun rolls her yellow eyes. “Fine, fine. You're no fun. Chill out, psych.”

 

“You - have - ten - seconds.” Byulyi says, enunciating every word clearly, her teeth gritted and lips moving minimally.

 

“Psych.”

 

“I swear-”

 

“To all the Gods above and beyond, who the hell is this pretty demon sitting on my recliner, looking like my client Solar? Well, to answer your question, Moon Byulyi,” Solar - Yongsun leans forward a little more, staring boldly at the psychologist, hints of her devilish smile playing on her lips. Her eyes are alight with amusement from teasing Byulyi. “I am Kim Yongsun. Solar is a part of me, just as I am a part of her.”

 

Byulyi’s brows pull together at the centre of her forehead, forming small creases. “What does that even mean?”

 

“I am everything bad inside of Solar, my dear, naive psychologist. I am her evil side. The side she's been really trying to resist since she entered adolescence. Stress, hormones and changes. I was strengthened from everything negative she felt, which was to say, quite a substantial amount. Eventually there was enough evil - enough of me, so to speak - for me to break away from her. It's the first time that I've actually won over and became the dominant side, suppressing my more compassionate and weak side, Solar.” Solar - Yongsun’s smile is borderline creepy now. “Don't you find Solar an odd name?”

 

“I-” Byulyi pauses, her head spinning with this newfound information. Am I in the presence of an actual supernatural being? Am I hallucinating? Gods, just play along and reply for now. “I - kind of.”

 

“Solar's real name is Kim Yongsun. She changed her name to Solar in high school, and I, then weaker side, stayed with the name Yongsun. Solar is too mild a name for a person like me.” Solar - Yongsun runs her hand through her hair, and the action seems so different from when Solar had done it before. Byulyi shivers.

 

This story is too wild to be true. Yet, I saw the glow with my own eyes - and no one can be such a good actress…

 

Byulyi wets her lips again.

 

“I - I don't know what to believe, Solar.”

 

Solar - Yongsun's eyes flashes, her lips pressing into a tight line. “Don't call me Solar, psychologist. I am nothing like Solar.”

 

“S-sorry. Well, at least let me ask you this.  Are you aware of things that happen in yo - Solar's life? Is she aware of this exchange happening right now?” Byulyi averts her eyes from Solar - Yongsun's instinctively, feeling as though the acid yellow eyes are boring into her soul. “Is the Solar part of you conscious?”

 

“Conscious?” Solar - Yongsun taps her chin, brows dipping slightly. “No, no, she isn't. At least not that conscious. She might recall a little of what happens here, but it's mostly just all mine to remember. Little snippets.”

 

Byulyi stays silent, her brain churning. Solar - Yongsun raises an eyebrow.

 

“Thoughts, psychologist?”

 

“I-” Byulyi stops, swallows. “I need a cup of coffee.”

 

The answer is so anticlimactic that Solar - Yongsun almost looks disappointed in her. Running away from problems? Her eyes seem to say, but Byulyi doesn't really care. She doesn't have to please anyone.

 

“Then go get coffee. I think I'll busy myself with these paintings that Solar seems to like looking at, they do look very interesting, some of them.” Solar - Yongsun stands up and gives Byulyi a chilling smile before she walks over to the nearest canvas. Byulyi swallows again and goes to her coffee machine, turning her back on the other woman. Her hands shake as she pours ground coffee beans into the machine.

 

She hears Solar - Yongsun's quiet footsteps, the shuffles on her wooden floorboards. Byulyi doesn't turn back. Despite the air conditioner blasting at a cooling twenty degrees celsius, perspiration still forms on her upper lip.

 

The smell of brewing coffee and the soft whirring of her machine does nothing to cure the headache building up in her brain. She leans with her palms pressing down flat on the tabletop, her honey brown hair falling over her shoulders and shielding her face from view. Goosebumps form all over her arms and she shivers when she hears Solar - Yongsun speak.

 

“Are you scared of me, Moon Byulyi?”

 

Byulyi’s fingers grip the tabletop hard. Her lower lip, snagged on her two front teeth, pushes out back to its original position. It takes a second for her to find her voice. “No, not really,” she tries to say, but her voice comes out weak and timid. She clears .

 

“How very unprofessional of you, Miss Moon. You aren't supposed to be avoiding your patient, much less be scared of your patient. What will reviewers think?” Solar - Yongsun says mockingly, and Byulyi can almost hear the sneer in her tone. Her heartbeat quickens when she hears the shuffling footsteps getting louder - getting closer to her.

 

“I said I'm not scared of you, S - Yongsun. Where did you even hear that I'm scared from?” Byulyi says boldly, lifting her head up and brushing her bangs back.

 

“Then why can't you even look at me or make eye contact with me, psychologist? You're scared. You're scared.” Solar - Yongsun sounds like she's gloating. The footsteps stop but Byulyi can sense her presence behind her. The younger woman's fingers turn white from lack of circulation. “Scared to look at me, aren't you?”

 

Byulyi turns around slowly, anger burning in her brown irises. Yongsun - Solar has a satisfied smirk on her face, and Byulyi glances once at the acid yellow eyes and looks away again.

 

“I'm looking at you.”

 

“Are you?”

 

A hand touches Byulyi’s chin, index and thumb forcibly tilting her head up. Solar - Yongsun’s yellow eyes are blazing, demanding and holding Byulyi’s gaze in a vice like grip. The psychologist feels her heart thumping frantically. The older woman is so close Byulyi can smell her perfume and see the little mole at the side of her eye.

 

“Let go of me, Yongsun.” Her voice comes out more steady now, more stern. But Yongsun doesn't let go, instead studying Byulyi’s face with what seems like scorn. Then her fingers loosen their grip and her arm drops back to her side.

 

“Hmph.” Is all she says. Her face is hard to read now.

 

The coffee machine beeps. Byulyi gives Yongsun one last look before she turns and fumbles for a clean cup, shoving it under the spout and pressing a button. Steaming black coffee hits the bottom of the cup with a dull thrumming sound, and it's the only sound that can be heard aside from Byulyi’s ragged breathing. Once the cup is filled three-quarters of the way with coffee, Byulyi picks it up by the handle and brings the rim to her lips.

 

The first sip is scalding hot and bitter, and Byulyi coughs a bit as she swallows it. She hears a soft snort of laughter from behind her.

 

“Are you trying to drown your fear in boiling coffee or something? I'm not going to kill you, you know. I may be Solar's evil alter ego and whatever, but I don't kill people.” Yongsun smiles, but Byulyi doesn't look at her. “Besides, Solar-”

 

Yongsun flinches suddenly, her words getting cut off abruptly. Byulyi whirls around, her fingers gripping the tabletop to steady herself.

 

The older woman stumbles, and Byulyi clamps a hand around her forearm, supporting her. Byulyi’s eyes are wide; Yongsun's eyes are screwed up with effort, acid yellow barely visible now. Her entire face is contorted in a semblance of pain.

 

With a sudden little intake of breath Yongsun's eyes flicker back to chocolate brown, and she collapses onto her knees, the resulting thud making Byulyi wince. But the psychologist has never felt happier about looking into a pair of normal mellow brown irises.

 

“Solar?”

 

“My - my Gods.” It's Solar's voice again - soft, unassuming and innocent. Her eyes are round. “I think I blanked out for a moment there. I can't remember what I was doing.”

 

“You were,” Byulyi’s numb lips pause, her tongue flicking out nervously. She doesn't know anyth

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fluffsaur
Oh my God, this reached 300 upvotes. Once again, huge thank you all readers of this story, I didn't think it would make it this far lol. Thank you for all the wonderful comments too, I don't have the time to reply to every one but know that I read them all! <3

Comments

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railtracer08
400 streak #1
Chapter 24: Wow.... When i started reading i couldn't begin to imagine where we would end up, and the hows and whys. Just, great job.
ravenclaw_ #2
Chapter 24: I spend two days to finish this, I think this fic is going to be my favourite. Thanks author-nim
goldrushbyul
#3
Chapter 24: went to bed at 2am reading this, you my friend are a MENACE, but fr I ooved this soooo much
AuroraBorealist
#4
Chapter 24: I found this fic in 2023—my bad. Red this in one go and what a hell ride this was. In a positive way! I enjoyed every conflict, every word in this story, and eventho I hope you could get some closures to several things, regardless—this story is well-written and deserves an upvote. Thanks for writing, author!
EnterShift1122
#5
Chapter 24: Holy that's one hell of a ride
sadandlonely #6
Chapter 20: Y es es por eso que los psicólogos tienen a sus propios psicólogos, los psicólogos superiores jaja
sadandlonely #7
Chapter 5: Por qué es tan raroo
sadandlonely #8
Chapter 4: Es por qué ella no le agrado al comienzo? I need answers porque hasta donde se J&H es alegoría queer pero aja, i need answers plssss
sadandlonely #9
Chapter 1: Pero que ha pasado👁️👄👁️
sSNiZzy0418 #10
Chapter 3: Im a baby moo and love moonsun. This fic came highly recommended. I was planning to comment after reading all the chapters but I just really have to say CH 3 ending part gave me goosebumps. I have read tons of fanfic and have experience different emotion but never like this. I guess I'm used to fluff or angst but never this suspense. This is really well written. I'll continue reading now, sorry for rambling lol