Kim Yongsun. Is kissing. Me.

Maybe the lack of oxygen is making Byulyi’s brain short circuit, because forming coherent sentences seems to become an impossible task. Byulyi can feel Yongsun's eyelashes tickling her own, the tip of her nose pressing gently against Byulyi's. And her lips - oh Gods - they’re cold from the air conditioning, but soft from strawberry lip balm, moving very, very slowly. Gently. Byulyi hears a strangled noise rise from , halfway between a growl and a groan, because she isn't sure if she wants to push Yongsun away or pull her closer. And that's the scary thing.

It's twenty seconds before Yongsun pulls away. Twenty seconds before Byulyi breathes again.

Even after she pulls away, Yongsun's face is still close, every perfect feature accentuated by the warm sunlight filtering through the window. Their eyes meet and lock, Yongsun's fiery acid yellow irises holding Byulyi in their strong, unbreakable grip, confidence and defiance clear in her gaze.

It's peculiar what Byulyi is feeling at the moment. Sure, she's kissed a couple of boys before - no girls, unfortunately, because she's never dated one before - but they'd always been amateurish and bland. Is feeling like her heart is about to go into cardiac arrest normal? Is feeling like her lungs are incapable of drawing in any more oxygen normal? Byulyi's back is still against the wall, her palms pressing hard against the wood. Yongsun's taken half a step back, a curious smile on her face. Her eyes are shining yellow and - cruel, almost.

“If you still haven't figured it out, I lied approximately three minutes ago about not wanting to kiss you. I've been wondering what it'd be like. Just as I thought.” Yongsun catches a stray lock of Byulyi's hair and tucks it behind her ear neatly. The older woman sounds neutral.

“What did you think?” Byulyi hates how she sounds strangled and weak.

Yongsun's fiery yellow eyes bore into Byulyi's with such ferocious intensity that Byulyi's sure she'll incinerate under her stare. She can't see any emotion in them, and that scares her a little. “It wasn't bad. It wasn't bad at all,” Yongsun says, finally letting go of Byulyi's arms and taking more steps back to widen the gap between them. Her lips quirk up in a half-smile.

Byulyi doesn't know what to think about this. Yongsun just kissed her, and she's having difficulties convincing herself that it was bad. Yongsun is right. It wasn't bad. It wasn't bad at all. In fact, it was…good. Is it because she's technically kissing Solar too, since it's Solar's body?

“Were you lying? About the liking me thing?” Byulyi asks blandly.

“Well, Moon Byulyi, there's not much to dislike about you,” Yongsun says simply, “Except for the fact that you're good at deluding yourself.”

“Good at deluding-?”

“Yes. You're an easy book to read, Psych. Face it. You have no chance with Solar, and you know it. Solar is engaged to Jaehyuk, she's straight, and she only sees you as a friend.” Yongsun sneers derisively. Her tone is dominant and powerful, and Byulyi finds herself agreeing. She does know that she has zero chances with Solar.

“So what are you suggesting? How does this link to my deluding myself?”

“I think I'll let you figure that out, Psych.” Yongsun smiles. “It's nearly time. Solar's beloved is coming to pick her up.”

“I can't figure it out! Gods, Yongsun, first you kiss me and now you're back to playing the mind games with me!” Byulyi grits her teeth, heat searing across her cheeks, tinting them dark red, across her tingling lips. She didn't want to bring up the kiss at all, but it slipped out. How can she just kiss me like that and have absolutely no response to it? Was she dissatisfied with it? Am I too much of an amateur?

“It's fun seeing you get all riled up and angry, I'll admit. You have interesting reactions.”

“Why did you kiss me, Kim Yongsun?” Byulyi curls her fingers, nails scraping against the rough wood of her wall.

“I kissed you because I wanted to, and perhaps it would help you to open your mind a little. Clue to the deluding yourself riddle, Psych. It's a very simple concept once you get some of your heart to your brain, because I know brains like yours will try to deny any unwanted truths that it can't handle.” Yongsun says, bringing a hand up as if to touch Byulyi's face, but she stops it an inch away.

“Are you saying that I'm stupid?” Byulyi scowls darkly.

“Aren't you?” Yongsun touches her face, and Byulyi's skin feels like it's on fire where Yongsun's fingers are pressing against it softly. Yongsun smiles. “Your proof that you are not stupid will be shown when you finally crack the whole delusion issue. I'll be waiting. Arms open.”

“Get out of my office.” Byulyi mutters mutinously, sending Yongsun a glare. The older woman’s eyebrows merely tilt upwards a little.

“I was about to anyway, Psych. Ah, perhaps letting Solar take over the body is a good idea. Wouldn't want her Jaehyuk to freak out.” Yongsun’s cold yellow eyes seem to get even colder, if possible. Byulyi supposes that, being the almost polar opposite of Solar, she'd hate Jaehyuk just as much as Solar loves him. Then something hits her, figuratively.

“Wait. Will Solar…will Solar remember that this happened?” Byulyi’s nails dig into the rivets in the wood.

“That what happened?”

“That you kissed me, Yongsun.”

Yongsun tilts her head, her thumbs stuck in her pockets. She regards Byulyi for a moment. “I'm not Solar, Psych. We may share the same body, but I'm not a mind reader and I certainly cannot read her mind. I don't know if she'll be aware of this happening. The brain is a strange organ. It chooses selective things to note down, to remember. I don't know how this works either, you know. This is my question to you, though. Do you want her to know?”

Byulyi shakes her head. “No. No. She mustn't know.”

“You're keeping a lot of things from Solar, you know. Are you sure your loyalties lie with her?” Yongsun smiles.

“Yes, they bloody well do!” Byulyi half-yells indignantly.

“Oh, Psych,” Yongsun sighs quietly. “When will you learn that sometimes, you have to do things for yourself?” Before Byulyi can reply, her eyes close.

Dammit, this sneaky little-

Her eyes open again, chocolate brown and unfocused this time. Byulyi straightens herself quickly, her brain working furiously to come up with a convincing act. Rage at Yongsun still bubbles inside of her. She rushes forward, grabbing onto Solar's arms, forcing concern into her voice. “Solar? Solar? Are you okay?”

Solar's eyes refocus onto her, and Byulyi adjusts her expression to one of grim relief.

“Did I black out again? Been happening a lot during your sessions lately. What - I was looking at paintings today, wasn't I?” Solar asks, sounding a little dazed. She her head from side to side. “Pepe with a blond wig…I remember seeing that before.”

“Mm yes, the Pepe. Um. Your session's almost up, Solar. I'm sorry. Let's get to the recliner and you can sit and maybe I'll get you a glass of water?” Byulyi tries to hide the panic in her voice. Please, please don't mention anything about it.

“Yeah, okay.” So they walk back to the sofa and the recliner, and Solar sits, sighing softly. Byulyi wonders how a face can look so different in the span of a two minutes. Yongsun always looks confident and alluring. Solar always looks tired and sad nowadays. “I don't know what's happening to me lately. I think it's the work stress or something. I'm always blanking out and blacking out during your sessions. Do I need to see a doctor?”

“I'm working to see what the problem is. Doing research. Uh, I'm not exactly the most experienced psychologist in the field, so you'll have to bear with me for a little while longer. You'll be able to hold up. You're strong.” Byulyi smiles, reaching forward to pat Solar's hand in a gesture of encouragement. “Meanwhile, I want you to do those destressing exercises I sent you, and make sure you tell me and Jaehyuk about anything you want to tell, okay? Promise me.”

Byulyi holds up a pinky. Solar smiles, hooking her pinky with Byulyi’s.

“I promise to try my best.” Her phone chimes from within her bag. “I think my ride’s here. See you next week, Byulyi.”

“Bye.” Byulyi smiles and waves as Yongsun picks herself and her bag up, walking to the door and opening it. She puts her shoes on and backs out of the room, giving Byulyi one last smile before she closes the door. Byulyi leans back on her sofa, closing her eyes.

She didn't mention a kiss. If she remembered it, I'm sure she'd have brought it up.

Byulyi pulls her legs up to her chest, pressing her palms over her eyes. Her lips are still tingling, the feeling of Yongsun's soft lips on hers replaying again and again in her mind. And in the moments after the whole thing happened, when the world stood still for a few breathless seconds, Byulyi had almost…almost forgotten that the main host of the body in front of her is Solar. She breathes out softly.

Kim Yongsun…what are you doing to me?

-

The café door tinkles, revealing a slightly panting and sweaty Byulyi emerging from the sun-baked streets. She runs a hand over her forehead, wiping the droplets of perspiration from her face. The now extremely familiar place is half-full, and Byulyi has to stand and look around for a while to see if she can identify the person she's here to meet.

Tall, kind of aggressive-looking, brown hair…oh, that's definitely her. Byulyi spots someone fitting her description to a tee sitting at one of the tables near the left wall. Now that she's looking closely, the woman does look very familiar. Byulyi's sure she's seen her in Uni before. The lone woman occupying the table is really pretty, her expression currently in its natural state of aggressiveness. Byulyi notices that she's wearing clothes similar to how Byulyi herself dresses - a blue striped button down and white pants.

She manoeuvres around a few tables to get to her destination. The woman looks up at her from her phone, her expression blankly confused.

“Hi. Heehyun?” Byulyi asks, smiling.

“That's me. You must be Byulyi. Nice to meet you.” Heehyun’s eyes clear and she smiles as she stands up and shakes her hand, and Byulyi decides that she likes this girl already. As in, a platonic kind of like, not like like kind of like. That didn't make sense.

“Nice to meet you too.” Byulyi pulls the chair opposite Heehyun out and sits down. “Sorry I'm a little late, I was speaking to one of my clients earlier.”

“Oh, it's no issue. I've ordered our food already. Black coffee and dark chocolate cake for you, right? I think Hyejin mentioned something about it while she was calling me.” Heehyun raises her eyebrows a fraction.

“Meticulous, aren't you? That's great. Psychologists have to be meticulous.” Byulyi nods approvingly. The waitress - Byulyi remembers her. Yuju, is it? - arrives just then, balancing half of her tray on the table as she places their food on the table - two dark chocolate cakes, black coffee, and a café latte. She gives them a friendly smile and backs away after they thank her.

“So, you're a psychologist. What sort of help would you need from a psych student? Hyejin mentioned something about dissociative identity disorder, or something along those lines?”

A psych student. Psych.

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