Chapter 19

Save Me From Myself
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Yongsun wakes up on Saturday morning with a ray of sunlight shining directly into her eyeball.

 

Cursing descriptively, she sits up, closing her eyes against the harsh morning sun. She can still see the brightness behind the thin membrane of her eyelids, so she takes a deep breath before opening her eyes again and letting them adjust to the brightness. Yongsun is not a morning person, especially after she’s had a nice, deep, dreamless sleep for once.

 

Oh, I forgot to call Psych to update her about my meeting with Mrs Kang yesterday. Yongsun scratches the back of her neck. She’d woken up at around six in the evening after her nap, made herself some kimchi soup with rice for dinner, and watched some draggy korean drama until she felt sleepy again and collapsed onto her bed.

 

She lets out a puff of breath and moves a few butts over to her bedside table, short nails scraping against the wooden tabletop as she grabs her phone. She yawns, but it dies midway when she turns her phone on.

 

“Holy balls.”

 

There was over a hundred missed calls from Jaehyuk, messages on Kakaotalk and Line, direct messages on every one of her social media - even Tumblr, what the hell? She should really get around to making her own account and not just use Solar’s - and emails. Her phone actually lags a bit as she unlocks it because of the influx of messages.

 

She must’ve done it already. Mrs Kang. Yongsun’s satisfied smile - which is something that hardly appears in the morning - widens. She clears the missed calls and opens her Kakaotalk, which is the thing that Jaehyuk spammed the most after all the calls.

 

Kang Jaehyuk: Solar, I’ve been calling you, why aren’t you picking up?? Solar??????? What’s happening? Mom told me that you told her to cancel the wedding, is that true?? 9:45PM  

 

Solar??? 9:45PM  

 

Kim Solar, are you there?? Please answer me! 9:46PM

 

Is this a joke, Solar? Hello??? 9:46PM

 

Yongsun considers not even replying at all, but then again, she has to think from Solar’s point of view, and Solar would most probably reply at least something. So she scrolls to the bottom of the chat, the most recent message from Jaehyuk being one sent at six in the morning. Yongsun types out a reply and hits send within ten seconds.

 

I’m sorry, Jaehyuk

 

She doesn’t even bother with a full stop.

 

She promptly goes to all her social media apps to clear her DMs of Jaehyuk’s messages, then she stands up and walks down the hallway to the kitchen, the twisted smile not leaving her face. Pancake mix and chocolate chips are the only things she becomes interested in for a while, at least until a stack of three wide, fluffy pancakes sit on a plate drowned in maple syrup. She pours herself a cup of milk and brings her breakfast out to the living room, settling herself on her leather sofa.

 

The television is switched on to Music Bank - she really doesn’t care what she watches - and she leans back with her plate on her lap. So she eats her pancakes with groups of kpop idols prancing across the stage in front of her. It isn't like she scorns kpop groups or anything, but, Yongsun has a pretty darn gifted voice, which the slight upward tilt of her chin shows that she finds superior to the groups on the television. Maybe except for Mememoo, and those two subunits of theirs - DabDabDabbing and Acute Angle Lines or something, Yongsun isn't sure.

 

She washes her plate, cup and utensils when she's finished, and since she's still hungry, she opens a cupboard to find more food.

 

She's greeted by an array of white and coloured bottles of the bottom shelf, each containing their fair share of powder tablets. Yongsun’s eyes drag upwards to the box of oatmeal chocolate chip cookies on the top shelf - which are nearly expired, since she'd forgotten that this cupboard existed, apparently - and she grabs it before examining the bottom shelf.

 

Ah, med shelf. Are those expensive supplements? Hell yeah, perks of having a rich ex fiancé. Yongsun keeps her eyes trained on the contents of the shelf as she opens the cookie box. She pulls a packet of cookies from the box and sets the rest back on the top shelf. She tears the packet open and brings a cookie to .

 

Oh, hey, these look familiar.

 

The hand abandons the cookie in and reaches for a brown bottle on the shelf. Yongsun studies the familiar-looking label on the bottle.

 

Ah, Prozac. Seems like Solar needed anti depression meds too, huh? Yongsun squeezes the bottle hard, unpleasant memories of her middle school days flooding back into her mind. But she pushes them away with the force of several tow trucks. She's taught herself how to deal with things.

 

The moment seems oddly significant, with a bottle of the same antidepressants she'd taken in the past in her hand and an oatmeal chocolate chip cookie in . She's beginning to drool, so she bites into cookie and pulls the rest away from .

 

Mmm. I should really clear out my cabinets sometime. I don't really think I need antidepressants anymore, aye? Yongsun’s fingers loosen around the bottle, and she smiles as she places the bottle at the back of the shelf.

 

-

 

“Good afternoon, Psych!”

 

“Hey,” Byulyi tilts her head slightly. Yongsun seems a lot more cheerful than usual, and it's kind of freaking her out. Just a little bit. “Um, you seem very excited today. Did you have too much sugar this morning?”

 

“I did in fact have a rather sugary breakfast, but trust me, no food is as sweet as me,” Yongsun winks, dropping her bag on the floor and sliding onto the recliner. Byulyi meets her eyes before fake gagging and then laughing. The psychologist also seems a lot less tense and stressed than the day before when she'd met Wheein and Hyejin - then again, she'd been stressed that her friends wouldn't believe her at all.

 

“You're dressed very nicely today. Wow, is that a shirt from Calvin Klein?” Yongsun suddenly asks, her lips twisting into an amused smile.

 

“Yeah, it cost me upwards of five hundred dollars.” Byulyi gestures exaggeratedly at her black band tee with the rolled sleeves and her paint-stained mom jeans. Look, she doesn't look bad. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right? “Why, do I look ugly?”

 

“Yup.”

 

“Wow, look, I have some good news to share with you, sugar girl,” Byulyi says, ignoring Yongsun’s answer completely. Yongsun snickers.

 

“Is it, perchance, related to your half of our shared mission?” Yongsun an eyebrow.

 

“Yes.” Byulyi leans forward, resting her bare elbows on her thighs. Her light brown hair, which has grown pretty long since she hasn't bothered to visit a salon yet, falls into her eyes and she sweeps it to the side impatiently. “From the way you asked me that question, I think I can safely assume that you have also completed your share of our mission, am I mistaken?”

 

“That you are not,” Yongsun confirms, the smile on her face turning into a self satisfied one. “You can go first though.”

 

Byulyi stares at her for a moment, before clearing . “Okay, well, my story is pretty straightforward. I met Wheein and Hyejin yesterday at this café that we always go to. I told them everything from the beginning, about Solar and stuff. They took it pretty well. Went as I hoped it would, I suppose. Hyejin’s a psychology major so she sort of understood better. Wheein still seemed kind of lost. Well, they both promised that they believe what I said about Solar being a personality.”

 

“That's good. That's good.” Yongsun leans forward as well, the right corner of lifting up slightly. “You sure you weren't not trying your best to explain this situation to them? You know, because you're like completely in love with Solar and whatever?”

 

Byulyi throws her a look so scathing that Yongsun backs up and puts both hands in the air in defense. The psychologist coughs pointedly. “I wouldn't not try my best, because number one, I already said I'm doing this because I'm a professional, and number two, I don't exactly think this whole love thing is as strong as it was at the beginning.”

 

Yongsun’s eyes widen to the size of pepperonis at that particularly juicy bit of information. She proceeds to raise and arm and gently knock upon Byulyi’s forehead. “He-llo there? Is this Moon Byulyi speaking?”

 

She's swatted away promptly. “No, it's the President of South Korea,” Byulyi says, in an extremely bad imitation of Yongsun’s voice over their phone call so many days back. “Look, people can fall out of love with or stop having infatuations on other people. Besides, I'm not masochistic enough to want to keep staying in love with a personality that I'm trying to get rid of. Anyway, this isn't the point right now.”

 

“Alright, alright, we can discuss our interesting love lives later on,” Yongsun agrees.

 

“Our interesting love lives?” Byulyi’s eyebrows rise up to her hairline. Yongsun just winks and holds up a placating hand, fingers facing the ceiling.

 

“All in good time, Psych! We haven't even gotten to my story yet. Now shut up and listen to it.” Yongsun taps a finger to her lips and lowers her voice to do her best imitation of a storytelling voice. “I also went to pay our dear Mrs Kang a visit at her uppity CEO’s wife office in central Gangnam. She was very displeased to see me, in any case, which was absolutely perfect for what we intended for me to do there. I got straight to the point and outlined it to her. Why I wanted the wedding to be cancelled, and why I couldn't just cancel it myself.”

 

“And she lapped it all up?” Byulyi tilts her head again. Yongsun puckers her lips and shushes her.

 

“Getting to that part. Be patient! So yes, she lapped it all up, or at least it seemed like she did. I was spot on with my speculation, I believe. She already despised Solar from the beginning, so it wouldn't have taken a lot for her to be persuaded to cancel the wedding, which is something she'd been wanting to do for a long time. So, provided with a very perfect and timely reason to do so, she'd cancel the wedding. She promised that she'd do it.”

 

“And your terms? Not putting out any articles or whatever to ruin your rep?”

 

“She agreed to that too. I suppose it's too much of a hassle for her to want to search up on my background. I'm just an insignificant small fry in her world of big people, which I don't really care about, so it's all good. And from there stemmed the beginnings of my eventual freedom!”

 

Byulyi brushes the hair away from her eyes again, huffing a little in annoyance. She should really get her bangs trimmed. “So, did she do anything yet, or is it too early to hope?”

 

Yongsun’s smile turns mischievous. She reaches down and rummages in her handbag, pulling her IPhone from its cavernous insides. She unlocks her phone with the ease of practice and taps on the screen a few times, seemingly ignoring Byulyi’s confused look. Then she looks up at Byulyi and s the phone at her. It lands on Byulyi’s thigh, bounces, and is caught by Byulyi’s quick hand.

 

“Um, your phone?”

 

“Read the messages, Psych.”

 

Wordlessly, Byulyi brings the phone up and immediately recognizes the familiar background of Kakaotalk. She reads the first text from Jaehyuk, then the next, and the next, and then she's scrolling quickly and her lips are quirking upwards.

 

“So, you think, is it too early to hope?” Yongsun can't help but grin, and Byulyi passes the phone back to her, her own expression mirroring Yongsun’s.

 

“I don't know, I don't know how Jaehyuk is taking it right now.”

 

“Oh, I can handle him, Psych. Besides, the heart only has so much of itself to lose. Nothing is completely irreparable.” Yongsun’s evil smile convinces Byulyi that she really doesn't give much of a what happens to Jaehyuk’s heart. Byulyi kind of feels bad for the guy. He didn't really do anything wrong, but well. Just unfortunate, really. He will never know the real reason for ‘Solar’ not wanting to marry him.

 

“This worked a lot more flawlessly than I'd expected. Normally I'd be wary about flawlessness, but this seems pretty damn flawless. I see no chinks in this armour. Unless Jaehyuk turns into a raving sociopath and tries to kill you. Like a yandere?” Byulyi raises her eyebrows.

 

“Psych,” Yongsun shuts her phone off and drops it back into her bag. “Yanderes don't kill their lo

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fluffsaur
Oh my God, this reached 300 upvotes. Once again, huge thank you all readers of this story, I didn't think it would make it this far lol. Thank you for all the wonderful comments too, I don't have the time to reply to every one but know that I read them all! <3

Comments

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railtracer08
400 streak #1
Chapter 24: Wow.... When i started reading i couldn't begin to imagine where we would end up, and the hows and whys. Just, great job.
ravenclaw_ #2
Chapter 24: I spend two days to finish this, I think this fic is going to be my favourite. Thanks author-nim
goldrushbyul
#3
Chapter 24: went to bed at 2am reading this, you my friend are a MENACE, but fr I ooved this soooo much
AuroraBorealist
#4
Chapter 24: I found this fic in 2023—my bad. Red this in one go and what a hell ride this was. In a positive way! I enjoyed every conflict, every word in this story, and eventho I hope you could get some closures to several things, regardless—this story is well-written and deserves an upvote. Thanks for writing, author!
EnterShift1122
#5
Chapter 24: Holy that's one hell of a ride
sadandlonely #6
Chapter 20: Y es es por eso que los psicólogos tienen a sus propios psicólogos, los psicólogos superiores jaja
sadandlonely #7
Chapter 5: Por qué es tan raroo
sadandlonely #8
Chapter 4: Es por qué ella no le agrado al comienzo? I need answers porque hasta donde se J&H es alegoría queer pero aja, i need answers plssss
sadandlonely #9
Chapter 1: Pero que ha pasado👁️👄👁️
sSNiZzy0418 #10
Chapter 3: Im a baby moo and love moonsun. This fic came highly recommended. I was planning to comment after reading all the chapters but I just really have to say CH 3 ending part gave me goosebumps. I have read tons of fanfic and have experience different emotion but never like this. I guess I'm used to fluff or angst but never this suspense. This is really well written. I'll continue reading now, sorry for rambling lol