Pictures of Fear

Krystal sighs deeply as she sat on her table in school, at 7 in the morning. Usually she would have just woke up and probably nags her father and sister at their dining table. But no, that would not be good today. Because JB is there.

Her father had instructed (begged) him to stay up because they were bargaining to set the date for idol event. Chang Woo said it is important that they strike a perfect day for it which is just Chang Woo probably trying to set a date so that Sistar would be able to come and perform. Chang Woo didn’t deny, but it ended up having both men brainstorming since idol’s schedules is pretty hectic.

Krystal sees how JB back and forth called Sistar’s manager, and she ignored the tingle she had whenever JB annoyingly said “No Krystal is not here” to the said manager. “It’s probably just a responsibility he has over his boss’ daughter” was what she kept mumbling. Chang Woo ended up letting JB sleep on the couch and she was restless last night.

This morning she ended up looking at the mirror more than she usually does before coming out. She comes out, all dressed for school, thinking he’d still sleeping on the couch. But there he was, awake and raking her fridge.

“Oh you’re up early.” He said as he took the milk and pour into the glass. Next thing she knows, she stumbled across the chair and mumbled that she had morning duties and left.

“Seriously, how stupid can you be?” Krystal buried her face between her arms, hiding her embarrassment. She never really had feelings like this before so this overwhelms her. Of course she had crushes before, but not like this. It couldn’t even compare. She kept thinking about him, thinking about how he laughed at her sarcasm, thinking about how he replies to her sarcasm, thinking about his warm hands, thinking about his broad shoulders, thinking…. “Yah Jung Soojung! Just stop thinking!”

She slaps her face a bit and tried to compose herself. If someone had saw her, they’d think she’s crazy.

She thought back. “Okay, I like him. I’d admit to it.” Krystal decided there is no more denying. She’d think she’d lose her mind trying to deny it. But it also painful to think that there are a thousand reason why he won’t like her back.

“I only date older woman.”

His own words and that one reason itself have shown that he won’t even see her the same way she sees him. Krystal thought she probably could like him and never ask for anything more. But the thought of him being with another girl did not just annoy her, it hurts. “There is no way he would reciprocate, so I shouldn’t think much of it.” She said to herself. The mantra isn’t working.

Krystal leans her head on the table. “I really like him.”

“Yah, what do we have here?” The annoying sound irks her. Sulli walks in and she can already felt judgement on her. “Oh its stinking miss model.”

Sulli walked to her table, and sneered when Krystal rolled her eyes.

“Aren’t you too cool for school now?” Sulli said. “You’re not even a good model, but it beats you being a student. You probably just graduate because the teachers pitied you.”

“Seriously, Jin Ri I have no mood for your antics today, so just shut up.” Krystal snaps and stood up from her chair. She walks towards the exit before Sulli calling her, surprising her.

“Yah, what’s with you?” Sulli asked, and this time it wasn’t condescending. She was genuinely asking. Sulli looks around, no one was there anyway. “Are you worried about your mom again?”

Krystal looks back. She forgets sometimes Sulli was once her best friend. That stopped but sometimes she have thoughts what if it didn’t. If it didn’t, she’d probably tell her about her crush on JB. Would she though?

“Not that.” Krystal sighs but her walls is still up. “It’s none of your business anyway.” Krystal walks out of the classroom. She sighs as she just walked around the yard. She realized that she needs a friend, someone to talk to. She decided that when she goes back she’s find her sister and talk to her. At least when it is out there, she no longer had to keep everything in by herself.

“Ah, Soojung-ah, you are here early.” Krystal looks back and sees Seung Ah walking towards her.

“Ah, anyeohaseyo.” She bowed.

“Morning!” Seung Ah smiles and waves. “Do you have class chores to do today?”

“Ah, no. I just wanted to come a bit earlier. You are early too Sem.” Krystal sees that Seung Ah probably have just arrived.

“I am a teacher, obviously I have to be early as a good example.” Seung Ah links her arm with Krystal. “Yah, can I ask you something?”

“What?”

“That day, that boy is…” Seung Ah gives a wink.

“Ah no. I told you he was…” Krystal blushes.

“From your reaction he seems to be more than just an employee in your father’s gallery.” Seung Ah tries to dig more. Her intention is to keep Krystal closer for now.

Krystal have thought her teacher is the closest she have as a friend nowadays, probably the closest person she had in school. She had thought to tell her a few things. But she had made up her mind to tell her sister first.

“He is just a very close oppa.” Krystal explained. “Nothing is going on.” Well, that is the truth anyway.

“I see.” Seung Ah sees that Krystal is pretty honest. Thus this mean she can trust her to stay away? She decided she’ll watch from a distance. The problem is on JB so she’ll deal with him later. Now she fakes it. “And I thought we could finally share things about our loves lives. I love hearing stories about young love.” Seung Ah sees herself in this. “Young love makes me excited.”

“Well, sorry to disappoint you, I have no stories for you.” Krystal looks down. She is basically in a one sided crush and everything is disappointing to her too.

“Soojung-ah. Just remember, if you need anything, I’m right here.” Seung Ah said.

“Thank you, sem.”

“Ah I better go. I’m running my schedule to be a good example to my class. I’ll see you in 4^th period okay Soojung.” Seung Ah waves at her and she left.

Krystal thought at least in school she had one more person to trust. She sees Sulli watching from the class. Well that is the one person she can’t trust.

She ignored Sulli’s worried face. Why would she be worried anyway?

JB stretches his arms as he finally got to his apartment. He kicks Jinyoung who sleeps on the couch. “Yah, it’s almost noon, wake up.” JB puts the leftovers he got from the Jung’s on the table. “There’s sandwich here, so eat up.”

“Where did you sleep las night?” Jinyoung rubbed his eyes.

“At the Jung’s. Ahjussi is really pushing for Sistar and finally after the 100^th times nagging their manager, we found a date, at 2 in the morning.” JB puts his jacket and sweater in the basket. “What about you, wasn’t your acting gig yesterday.”

“Oh yeah, it was one scene and obviously, Park Jinyoung nailed it easily.” Jinyoung smiles brightly. He looks through the bag JB brought home. “You stole this sandwich from them didn’t you?”

“Nah, Soojung forgot her lunch and ahjussi said he’d bring her proper lunch later so this sandwich is for you. Soojung usually likes weird stuff in her sandwich so excuse her if it tastes bad.” JB explained and he checked his phone, ignoring the yet plenty missed calls from Seung Ah.

Jinyoung sees that. “She was here yesterday, right after my job. She was looking for you.”

JB sighs. “I know. I just need space, alright. So if she comes here, and I know you don’t like her much so this should be easy, just send her off.” JB cracks his necks a bit. “I need a shower. You, eat.”

Jinyoung is pretty surprised. Somehow, the hyung he knew had matured a lot. If this was the JB he knew 4 years ago, he’d probably be on his way to see Seung Ah right away. But JB, although have not fully yet let go of Seung Ah, actually said he needed space. This is good. It probably had to do with… Jinyoung feels the pit of jealousy again.

Seriously, that needs to stop. He doesn’t need to ruin everything. He ate the sandwich and he couldn’t really stop from thinking that this is how Krystal likes her sandwich.

JB shuts himself to relax in the shower. Chang Woo is really grilling for this idol event thing to work and really, it is now that he sees how Chang Woo’s mind works. The art in fancams is really extraordinary. A lot of amateur fans actually took great pictures on the idols. The focus was great and a lot of it actually defeated the professionals. The tendency people have when they take pictures of something they have emotions on is really fascinating.

The thing that irks him that a few of them were clearly photoshopped into perfection. He sighs. Well, they are dealing with amateurs so they ought to receive a few bad ones.

The many times he called Sistar’s manager, he could actually hear Hyorin calling him from behind. “Jaebum-ah! We need you as our photographer again!”

He actually liked taking their pictures before. He learned a lot being in their studio, talking and experiencing professional works. But he wanted to do more, thus he left. He felt that taking pictures of strangers is more fascinating. Chang Woo himself had taught him more than anyone had in photography. His visions is amazing and one of the old man’s words stuck with him.

“Have no fear of perfection. You can’t reach it.” Which later on JB found out that Chang Woo had quoted Salvador Dali. But there is some truth to it. JB realized why Chang Woo holds on to Dali’s words dearly. Everything he had done ended with satisfaction and it made him wanted to always do better, stay in motion. It’s a trait in the Jung’s to never stop with just one satisfaction.

His phone rang again and he thought it must be Seung Ah again. He probably needs to talk to her anyway so he decided to finally take her call. He was surprised it wasn’t and instead was Jessica.

“Hello, noona?”

Minjun watches as Jessica flips her phone, searching for things that is probably unnecessary. “Didn’t I told you to stay away from the kids?”

“I’m just checking, okay.” Jessica said as she scrolled down more into JB’s personal Instagram. “Yah, what the hell is this? This is all the gallery’s stuff. Not even one selfie.”

“Well, he’s an artistic guy. Perhaps he likes it that way.” Minjun rolls his eyes. “Seriously, Sooyeon, you have to stop this. Your sister will have to deal with it herself.”

“I let this happen okay. I let him drag her around town and swoop her from her feet…”

“Hold on, I have a question. Did you ask Soojung if she liked him?” Minjun tries to put the puzzled together. Jessica nods. “And she said she did like him?”

“No. Well, she doesn’t know yet. This is Soojung…”

“So she didn’t actually say anything. This is your assumption?” Minjun laughs a bit.

“It is called intuition. I can see that she likes him.” Jessica sighs. “You know the guy. Once we know him, what’s not to like about Jaebum. I didn’t think Soojung would fall for him but now that I thought about it, there is no reason why she wouldn’t.”

Minjun smiles. “Which is why you need to let go, Sooyeon. Soojung can make her own decision. Jaebum too can make his, they are too old to be babied by you.”

Jessica looks at him. “I’m just having one lunch with him.” She sees her fiancé drops his smile. “Just to see from his side okay. We both know he is a bit of a flirt so I’m just confirming he’s not reciprocating or anything.”

“And?”

“And perhaps ask him to push Krystal away a bit….” Even she herself sees the holes in her plan. “Okay I’m just going to see his perspective, for my sanity, okay. I believe he said before that he only dates older woman and I am just going to make sure of that.”

“Be careful, Sooyeon.” Minjun warns her.

“I will. I always do.” Jessica smiles brightly and pecked him on the lips. “Got to go, Bye.”

Krystal sighs for the hundredth time today. She hasn’t figure out how to deal with her new feelings. She figured that somehow her feelings was build up by knowing the guy for years. She have been watching him closely. A little too close. She wished she hadn’t because if anything it shows that he will never ever see her in the same way. She remembered that he only goes for older women and he practically treats her like a younger sister more than anything.

She always asked before what women liked about him.

“It’s Jaebum. What’s not to like?” She figured that much.

She walks around the canteen and spotted Luna waving. She had hoped that Luna was a close enough friend that she can talks things about but it felt awkward to say stuff like this.

“Yah, why is your face so somber?” Luna asked and right away Amber sat beside Luna with her own lunch. “And you, stop stuffing your face!”

“Just because miss idol is on a diet, doesn’t mean I have to be.” Amber munched her fries. She saw Krystal looking down. “What’s with the sad face?”

Krystal looks up and fakes a smile. “Nothing. I’m just tired of some work back home.”

“Ah did you hear about the news?” Amber said in the middle of munching. “One of our teacher here was transferred to this school because she had an affair with her student in her old one.”

“What???” Luna perks up hearing the gossip. “Where do you get this news?”

“This morning, those group of girls talked about it. You know Sulli and friends.” Amber ignores Krystal’s eye roll. “They dug up a few of the teacher’s past and it was said that she moved here about 3 years ago because she was caught sleeping with one of the senior high school student.”

“It’s not really our problem.” Krystal sighs. Obviously Sulli loves to play devil’s advocate so she doesn’t buy anything she says.

“Well, it interest me because the only teacher that moved here 2 years ago is Seungah sem.” Amber sees both Krystal and Luna looking at her, shocked. “I’m not saying she does it okay, I just think that with these rumors, we have to do something. Seungah sem have been nothing but nice to us.”

Krystal clenched her fist. Sulli had a new target. She was once a victim of vicious rumors by Sulli too. She thought that its time that Sulli needs to be taught a lesson.

“Do you know where Sulli is?” she asks Amber.

“I think she was in class.” Amber said blankly.

“I’m gonna go talk to her.” Krystal stands up.

“What are you going to say?” Luna pulls Krystal.

“A piece of my mind.” Krystal lets go and went to find Sulli.

JB arrived at the restaurant and he smiled. This restaurant is his favorite but Krystal seems to hate it a lot because of that one terrible day she ate the cucumber by accident. As of trauma, she never orders anything but tea in this restaurant.

“Maybe I should teach her how to appreciate this restaurant again.” He thought to himself. Somehow it took back to the day where they played couple and he thinks she’s not that bad.

His thoughts were interrupted with Jessica coming in, with a look of determination.

“Did I do something wrong?” He immediately asked when she sat down in front of him.

“Why you say that?” Jessica looks at him.

“You have your serious game face on.” JB knows the Jungs too much, he studies their expression and body language for a year and he catch on a lot of gestures the Jung’s have.

“Well, let’s order, I’m starving.” Jessica took the menu. In her mind she is worried on how she should open the subject of her sister. “Did you came back from university?”

“Not really. I skipped today. Ahjussi grilled me and I fell asleep for my morning class.” JB watches Jessica carefully. Fidgeting and no eye contact. Something is definitely wrong. “If this is about that thing with Minjun-hyung, I don’t have anything to do…”

“Are you still in contact with Oh Seungah?” Jessica asked straight forward. JB was shocked that her name will be uttered by Jessica. “Are you still seeing a married woman?”

“How did you…”

“The world is small. I found out months ago when I saw you with Oh Seungah sem. She is married to my boss.” Jessica explains and she sees JB stoic. “But I have no right to judge you at all. I don’t even know your reasons so I will not judge. But I am concerned about something.”

Minjun’s advice was out on the drain. Jessica follows her worst instinct.

“It’s about Soojung.”

Krystal met with Sully to offer her opinion, or better wording would be to fight her. She was done with Sulli’s antics to hurt others.

“Yah, Choi Jinri.” She stood behind Sulli who was sitting on her desk with her own group of friends. “How filthy can you be?”

“The hell are you talking about?” Sulli rolls her eyes and ignores her. Krystal shoved her by the shoulder and makes her look.

“Yah, you like ruining people lives so much?! Have you not have conscience towards others?!” Krystal yells, somehow the fury just came right up. All that she had repressed just keeps coming out.

“Yah! What is your problem?! You suddenly came here like a maniac!” Sulli stood up.

“Is that the only thing you know how to do? Make up rumors to ruin other people’s life?!” Krystal went to face her.

“You’re a crazy ! Have you finally come to the delusional world?!” Sulli yells.

“Why don’t you ruin your own life?! Do you have nothing else to do?!” Krystal shoves her again.

“You want to die?” Sulli charges forward.

Before Krystal could reply, her teacher came stopping her. “What is happening here?” Seung Ah stood between her students.

“Sem, Jung Soojung went nuts for no reason!” Sulli pointed at Krystal’s face which she swatted.

Seung Ah looks at Krystal who could only look down. She can’t actually say anything with the person Sulli hurts standing in front of her. She realized that she had done the worst thing to suddenly charge at Sulli. She didn’t think through, she just suddenly got really angry.

“Soojung-ah, can you explain what is happening?” Seung Ah asks slowly.

Krystal looks at Seung Ah, almost pleading to just go.

Seung Ah took her to the teacher’s lounge in the pretense of disciplining because Sulli was adamant to get Krystal punished. Krystal could only stay quiet when Seung Ah puts tea in front of her.

“Come on. Start talking.” Seung Ah sighs.

Krystal could barely look up. “I just got angry.”

Seung Ah actually knew a few of Krystal’s insecurities. She was her student first prior to the love rival.

“Did she diss you for being a e again?” Seung Ah sees Krystal shaking her head. “So?”

“She was spreading rumors about you, Sem.” Krystal decided she might as well be honest.

“Me?” Seung Ah feigned a surprise.

“She tells people that you changed schools because you had an affair with one of your students.”

“Oh that.” Seung Ah rubs her elbow. She suddenly laughs. “Wonder how she find out about that?”

“Eh?” Krystal looks at Seung Ah, confused.

“You know Soojung, I don’t want you to look at me differently but I guess I ought to tell the truth.” Seung Ah smiles. “I did move here because I was caught sleeping with a student.”

Krystal didn’t know how to react, she was speechless.

“It was before I met my husband; that I met with this guy, a student in my class. He is always so quiet in class, so chic yet whenever he speaks you know he is pretty intelligent.” Seung Ah imagines the first day she sees the young Jaebum, the handsome, chic Jaebum.  “He is kind of loss at the time so I kept thinking that I want to help him, I want to be a good teacher. Then I fell in love.”

Krystal couldn’t imagine what kind of guy had made Seung Ah head over heels. Only if she knows.

“I tried hard to not fell deeper, but he is a pretty straightforward guy and he confessed to me. Without thinking, I just accepted him, and we began dating.” Seung Ah chuckled a bit. “He is always so nervous. He is quite new to dating at the time so it was funny to see such chic guy getting flustered.”

“What happen after?” Krystal asks as Seung Ah paused.

“We got caught. The school decided that it be best to keep the issue down and I was advised to leave.” Seung Ah remembered the day that she forced herself to leave. “That seems so long ago though. I wonder how Sulli knew that.”

“I’m so sorry.” Krystal didn’t know why she is apologizing. “Sem, do you by any chance…”

Seung Ah knew what she is asking. “It’s not that easy, Soojung ah.” She looks down. “Love is complicated. Sometimes just because you love someone, you can’t actually be with them. If everything is against you, that is a sign itself.”

And it worked slowly into Krystal. Seung Ah’s words makes sense to her. It crept in her that she had seen signs that worked against her own feelings.

“Soojung likes you.”

JB watches as Jessica looks straight it him. “You’re joking right?”

“There is a possibility that she might be falling for you.” Jessica says. “I know my sister, and I know how she sees someone she cares for.”

“She might care for me like a friend.” JB said, still analyzing Jessica’s words. “And I’m not exactly reciprocating if she does have feelings for me.” Somehow, this feels like a lie but he ignored that.

“Jaebum-ah, you know exactly how I feel about people ruining other people’s marriage.” Jessica’s words stops JB from saying more. “It almost ruined my father, such people.” Jessica breathes again. “At first I thought I won’t judge, because it’s your business. But now that Soojung is in the equation, you know me Jaebum, I don’t take risks when it’s Soojung.” Jessica sees JB silence himself.  Jessica takes a deep breath. “Don’t you dare come near her. You said you won’t reciprocate and I am holding onto that words. You promise me, Im Jaebum, that you won’t ever have feelings for her. Because that would just be disgusting.”

JB takes it all in. Her words are harsh, mean and sincere. Jessica’s claws are out and he knows better to obey her. But somehow he felt the need to fight a bit.

“Noona. If Soojungie…” He now imagines if Soojung gets broken by his inability to accept her feelings. So he scratches that question. He doesn’t even know what to ask. Yet he says, “Do I disgust you so much?” He looks up at Jessica.

Jessica stops herself and suddenly, she felt horrible. All those words were too much. She actually puts the man that took away her mother on JB. She have unleashed her anger onto the wrong person. “Jaebum-ah.” Her sister like demeanor comes back. “I don’t hate you. You are a good person. I just….” Maybe Minjun is right, she should have just stay quiet. Now she have hurt the boy in front of her. “I need to protect Soojung. You know it yourself. She can’t afford another heartbreak like that.”

JB knew exactly what she meant. “I’m sorry I’m like this.”

“Jaebum-ah, I don’t mean…” Jessica wants to hit herself. She sees JB stands up and bows to her.

“I’m going back to work, ahjussi is probably waiting.” He looks back at her smiling. “We both want to protect Soojung, so I get it. Don’t worry noona, I promise you, I will never hurt her.”

Jessica looks at him. “I’m sorry Jaebum.”

“Don’t worry about it.” With that JB left and suddenly, Jessica feels like the worst person ever.

Krystal walks up to the gallery and sighs. Today was a long day and she felt so tired she can almost crash anywhere. She walks up to her house but then she sees JB taking out some paintings from the van. She stops and just stared.

“Love is complicated. Sometimes just because you love someone, you can’t actually be with them. If everything is against you, that is a sign itself.”

Is there truth to that? Krystal wonders. For now, everything is against her, he probably don’t even see her more than Jung Soojung, his boss’s daughter.

She sees JB walking back out and she met his eyes. Suddenly she sees such sadness.

-

JB uses his strength to take up much of the paintings to get things done faster. He wanted a half day off since the lunch he had with Jessica was emotionally draining. Those things hits the heart, he really is someone who should be punished. When Jessica have said that Krystal might have feelings for him, he didn’t know how to feel, it’s somehow confusing to him. But he knows now more than ever that it might be best to put a little bit of distance.

He looks up and sees Krystal staring at him. Such pure girl, so much going for her future.

He’d never be good for such woman.

To Be Continued.

A/N: Yeap, it takes too long and I don't have any excuse. LOL