chapter three;

week by week, day by day

    Ri Ahn wakes up to her alarm blasting Ne-Yo, and she groans, burying her face into her pillow. She fumbles for her phone and after a few seconds the alarm is off, Ri Ahn’s face still shoved into her pillow. She only moves when she hears chuckling, and lifts her head to see Baekhyun hovering near her, a mug in his hand and his hair neatly combed.

“Morning,” he teases, and she pulls the blankets over her head, whining. He laughs, and when she hears him padding off, she pulls the blankets back down, sighing.

She hates mornings.

    -- -- --

“Didn’t peg you for a morning person,” Ri Ahn comments as she stands in the elevator with Baekhyun, hands shoved in her pockets. Baekhyun has a guitar hanging off his back, and he grins boyishly.

“Sleeping in is more of Chanyeol’s specialty,” he shrugs, and they step out of the elevator. Baekhyun holds the door open for her, throwing her a wink, and Ri Ahn figures she shouldn’t bank on Baekhyun being any less flirty than he was last night.

“So, computer science, huh?” Baekhyun says, as they stand at the bus stop. Ri Ahn has class on this campus but Baekhyun doesn’t, so she decides to humor him and keep him company. He doesn’t seem like a bad guy past the excessive flirting, and considering the majority of her new friends in college are boys with their hormone levels on high, she figures she ought to get used to it. “I’m not much of a math kid, so I’m a useless music major instead.” He laughs, and Ri Ahn’s lips quirk upwards.

“Honestly, I’m not a math kid either,” she confesses. “More of an arts kid. But computer science isn’t bad.”

Baekhyun arches an eyebrow. “An arts kid saying computer science isn’t bad?”

Ri Ahn smirks. “Computer science is nothing without a little creativity. Writing a program is good and well, but you need an idea for one, first.”

Baekhyun looks impressed, but his bus pulls up before he can say anything else. He boards, throwing her a wave and another wink. “Catch you later, girl. Hope I’ll see you around more often, cutie!”

Ri Ahn rolls her eyes and he laughs, then the doors close and the bus is shuttling off, and Ri Ahn smiles fondly.

She rather likes Lu Han’s friends.

    -- -- --

“I can’t believe you slept at Lu Han’s place,” Sulli says. Sulli is an old friend from high school (half their graduating class attends this university) and also her roommate. They have class in the same building, at the same time.

Ri Ahn shrugs noncommittally. “The apartments are nice,” she says. She and Sulli and another of their friends, Youngji, intend on getting an apartment together, except for the tiny detail that Freshmen never get the apartments on campus. Only seniors ever get so lucky.

Sulli snorts. “No kidding. Bet Lu Han and his roommates were nice too.”

Ri Ahn throws Sulli a sly look. “They were.”

Sulli gapes, then laughs. “Oh, so Lu Han’s not the only cute one?” She whistles. “CompSci girls get all the boys, I swear. Jongin and your seven dwarves are gonna get jealous.”

“Don’t call them dwarves,” Ri Ahn scolds, shoving her friend’s shoulder lightly. “They’re all taller than me. And Jackson is taken, or did you forget that one time we caught Youngji and him--”

“Lalala, I can’t hear you,” Sulli sings, and Ri Ahn chuckles.

“Class is starting soon. Don’t fall asleep,” Ri Ahn calls as she’s walking away.

Sulli waves her hand. “No promises.”

    -- -- --

“Hi Mark,” Ri Ahn greets, sliding easily into the seat next to him. Mark is always early, saving seats for their group, this semester consisting of Jongin, BamBam, Jinyoung, and Jinyoung’s roommate, Jaebum. Ri Ahn likes Mark; he’s quiet, polite, and humble. He’s always sweet to her, offering kind smiles whenever he sees her on campus.

He waves and smiles, then refocuses his gaze back to his laptop, coding away. He’s a good student, certainly better than her, starting his work early and finishing with time to spare.

Then Jongin arrives, and if Ri Ahn kicks herself for thinking Lu Han is cute, then she digs herself a grave every time her heart skips a beat for Jongin.

She is supposed to be over Jongin. Jongin is another one of her high school friends, notorious for being an unintentional flirt. Most of his friends are girls, but his arm is almost always around Ri Ahn, his teasing kicks up a notch when he’s with Ri Ahn. It’s obvious, to everyone except Jongin himself, and Ri Ahn hates that she fell for it.

She hates that she fell for him.

“Hey,” Jongin smiles, taking the seat next to Ri Ahn. It’s an unspoken rule; Jongin will always sit to the left of Ri Ahn. He will always have that spot, the way Ri Ahn thinks he might always take residence in her heart, no matter how hard she tries to find somebody else. On her right side today is Mark, but last class it was Jinyoung, and next class it’ll be BamBam, but Jongin -

Jongin is permanent.

    -- -- --

    “Are you okay?”

There are three things that Ri Ahn knows.

First; Ri Ahn loves Jongin.

It’s been four years. Ri Ahn has known Jongin for five, and all of those years Jongin spent leading her on without even knowing he was doing it himself. But Ri Ahn doesn’t blame him. It hurts, but Ri Ahn is okay. Ri Ahn is always okay.

Second; Yerin and Jongin have just broken up.

Yerin is Ri Ahn’s best friend. In the movies, girls don’t date the boy if they both fall for him. But Ri Ahn and Yerin are different. Ri Ahn and Yerin have enough love and respect for each other that Ri Ahn simply backs off when Jongin becomes Yerin’s boyfriend, and bites back the hurt she feels that it’s not her in Yerin’s shoes.

After all these years, Jongin does not love her. But Ri Ahn is okay. Ri Ahn is always okay.

Third; Ri Ahn would do anything for Yerin.

It hurts. It has always hurt. Knowing that Jongin was with Yerin digs right into her heart, like someone has taken a knife, driven it right through, then twisted it just for good measure. But Ri Ahn does not blame Yerin. Ri Ahn will never blame Yerin. Not when Jongin and Yerin fail to work, not when Ri Ahn can hear Yerin crying quietly over the phone, miles and miles away from her, at a university so far away from her, where Ri Ahn cannot reach.

Jongin and Yerin’s relationship hurt.

Yerin’s words hurt more.

“I just wish he never told me he loved me.”

Ri Ahn is not okay.

    -- -- --

“Maybe if you actually went to lecture last semester--”

Ri Ahn gets cut off by a whistle. “Damn, girl. Save a little sass for the rest of us, you know?” Ri Ahn turns her head and is met with a cheeky grin and familiar, twinkling eyes. Baekhyun leans towards her, guitar over his shoulder, one hand in his pockets and the other hand holding the straps of his guitar case. She sighs but smiles nonetheless, giving him a small wave.

“Hi, Baekhyun,” she says, and Baekhyun grins. Jongin is sitting on her left, watching curiously as Baekhyun takes a seat on her right, setting his guitar down next to him.

“Baekhyun, Jongin. Jongin, Baekhyun,” Ri Ahn introduces, and Baekhyun nods at Jongin. Jongin smiles back, but his eyes are wary, careful. He scoots closer to Ri Ahn, and Ri Ahn tenses.

She hates this. Jongin - who has never expressed genuine interest in her - always reacts this way when he discovers another one of Ri Ahn’s new male friends.

“Lu Han has chemistry tonight,” Baekhyun says, and if he notices Jongin’s movement, he doesn’t say anything. She arches an eyebrow at him, and he stares at her, sighs, then nudges her. “You have chemistry tonight.”

Ri Ahn stares at him.

Baekhyun groans. “Are you always this quiet? You’re not dense, I can feel you mocking me without even saying a word. Goddamn, girl.”

Ri Ahn smirks, and Baekhyun pouts. “Won’t you let me take you home? You can be the first girl I bring home, cutie.” He flutters his eyelids, and Ri Ahn nearly cracks, laughter threatening to spill out. Instead, she leans closer to him, widening her eyes, knowing it’ll make her look younger, more innocent.

“Wow, Baekhyun. I’m really impressed. Even when you try to bring a girl home, it’s not your girl.”

Baekhyun swears and Ri Ahn laughs out loud, grabbing his wrist when he stands up, intending to stomp away. “I’ll go, I’ll go,” she laughs, using both hands to hold onto him. “Don’t be mad. I’ll come over.”

Baekhyun stops struggling, and uses his free hand to point at her. “Promise,” he says firmly, and she bites her lip, eyes lit up with amusement. “Promise!” he repeats, nearly whining, and Ri Ahn’s hand loosens on him and she nods, giggling.

“I promise,” she says, and Baekhyun narrows his eyes, stares at her, then nods, satisfied.

“Good.”

    -- -- --

“You’ve slept over at a guy’s apartment?” Jongin asks, but it’s really more of a statement, and Ri Ahn can hear the carefulness in his voice. She looks at him, trying to find something in his eyes, but Jongin, like Ri Ahn, is good at hiding his emotions.

“Yeah. Chemistry ended late and my bus never showed,” Ri Ahn says nonchalantly. “Lu Han - he was my peer mentor last semester - he lives on that campus, and he offered to let me sleep over, so.”

Jongin nods slowly.

He says nothing else.