was back at work after a month and I felt all eyes on me when I first stepped inside. I pursed my lips together and headed straight to my office, ignoring the pitiful look everyone was giving me. My office looked exactly the same as I had left it, only this time there was a stack of paper left on my table. It was probably the things I had to do for the whole month I wasn’t here. I sighed as I took a seat on my chair.

“Hey, good morning,” Jihyun, one of my colleagues, greeted as she opened the door and settled down on the sofa right in front of my table. Jihyun was the same age as me, she had long ash-brown hair that was neatly tied up in a ponytail. Her fringe framed her face perfectly, her eyes were big and round and her lips were plump. She was a beauty and no doubt, the closest to me in the office.

“Morning,” I replied, giving her a small smile while I took the stack of papers on my desk and looked through it.

“Ah, I did the whole stack there. You just need to file them,” She said quietly as she walked over towards me and pointed to stack of paper I was holding.

“Thanks” I mumbled, looking over to what she was doing. She was inspecting her perfectly manicured nails.

“Well, I could do atleast that much. Besides, there wasn’t anything much that happened when you were gone. Anyway, I’m heading back to my office now, call me if there’s anything!” She chirped as she stood up and turned around, her heels clicking as she stepped out of my office.

I sunk into my chair, it was going to be a long day receiving pitiful looks from my colleagues. I my laptop and my wallpaper was Jongdae smiling, his eyes were small and his curls falling into place at the side of his face. It was taken after he had this crazy idea of perming his hair. It suited him well, but I didn't like it as much as he did. He kept touching his hair after, making sure his curls were perfect and I rolled my eyes whenever he did that. He was probably the vainest after getting his hair permed. I smiled just looking at the photo and thinking of the memory before I got to work.

I have no idea how long I had been working but Jihyun was back in my office with a box of pizza. I raised my brows at her before she settled it on the table in front of the sofa.

“I figured you wouldn’t want to head out and have lunch with everyone else. So I got us pizza,” She said opening the box and the aroma wafted in the air, making my mouth water. 

“Yeah, thanks.” Walking over to sit beside her on the sofa.

“Do you ever actually say more than two words in a sentence? All I’ve heard from you is “morning”, ”thanks” and “yeah, thanks”,” she said as she quoted herself in the air.  "To think that was only three different words," she continued before she was about to dig in.

I gave her a small nudge with my elbow, causing the pizza sauce to smudge on her face. “Oops, sorry about that,” I said as I reached for a tissue and handed it over to her. I small laugh escaped my lips, as she laughed as well.

“Oh, so you do!” She exclaims, passing me a slice of pizza. “How have you been coping?” She asks carefully, her eyes were wide and she chewed her pizza.

“There’s been a lot going on, Hyun,” I say, taking a bite of the pizza and she glances over at me worriedly. I swallowed the mouthful of pizza I had and I could tell she didn’t want me to break down. “It’s been tough, you know. Like, all of a sudden, you find out your boyfriend has been fighting cancer and he's gonna die the next day. The whole time he was actually fighting the disease, you had no clue whatsoever. Your boyfriend, your family and his family actually hiding his condition from you. I didn’t even know how much he was hurting. He even wrote a bunch of letters and I received it at his funeral. It’s all too much to take in.”

“Jongdae has his own reasons for keeping it from you, whatever that maybe. Come here,” as she enveloped me in a hug and I rested my chin on her shoulder. “For all you know, he just wanted to see you happy on his last few moments alive.Hmm, what letters?” She asks as she patted my back.

I pulled away from her hug and she took a good look at me and even helped me to wipe my tears away. “I didn’t want this to be a sob fest, Hyemi-ah,” she pouted and I playfully slapped her arm as I rolled my eyes. “But anyway, I’m always here, I hope you know that.”

“I do. The letters has some title on them, I open them when the situation occurs. I opened the first one last night and another one that says Open When You’re Hungry,” I explain and she looks at me with her finger tapping her lap, something she does when she’s concentrating.

“If that isn’t sweet, I don’t know what is.” She says nodding as she sips her tea.

“Maybe I can open one now, with you here, I’m sure Jongdae won’t mind,”

“Well I mind, Ms Lee. I’m heading back to my office, you know where to find me. I’ll leave you to it,” She packs up the box and winks at me before she leaves the room.

I walked over to my bag and pulled out the letter I took from the box this morning. I was sure that I had to open that one next. I've been missing him since he left. Taking a good look at the envelope, I tore the seal and took a deep breath before starting to read.

Open When You Miss Me.

Dearest Hyemi,

If I’m right, this would either be the second, if not the first few of the letters that you would open. I know you miss me, but always remember that I miss you equally. I hope you’re not a crying mess as you read this.

I remember when you left the country for a week-long business trip in Tokyo, I hugged you so tight so that you wouldn’t go. You tried your best to hide your bright red cheeks as your colleagues teased you when I gave you a goodbye kiss. I’m sure Jihyun would remember. How is she by the way?

I remember I called you every day, every hour to make sure you wouldn’t forget my voice and to annoy you. Although I’d hate to admit it, but it was because I missed you so much. I missed you so much the moment you let go of my embrace and I missed you even more when disappeared from my sight at the airport.

Remember when you scolded me because you couldn’t focus on your work because I kept calling? Remember how you jumped into my arms and spun you around when you arrived after a week? Remember how we ate at our favourite restaurant after? Remember all the weird things you got me from Japan? Remember how I kept showering you with kisses right after?  I wish I could still do that to you.

It was my turn after that, my turn for a business trip in Europe. You were quiet the whole time we were traveling to the airport. It was weird because you’re normally talkative. You held my hands quietly as I checked in. Before I left, you gave me a letter. A letter to remind me to take care, to miss you, to call and to not forget you. I didn’t need you to remind me that because I would never forget you, jagi. I sent you pictures everyday along with rather cheesy captions from the places that I visited. I remember that one picture in particular, the one in front of Eiffel Tower and how I promised to bring you there someday. I’m sorry that it can’t happen now. :( I remember you sending back pictures of yourself pouting, and your chubby cheeks were so cute and flushed. Maybe if you were a little bit lighter, I would have put you inside my luggage to tag along. Too bad, you’re a fatty. My fatty. (・ω・)

Now, go to my wardrobe, my sweatshirt is there. The sweatshirt that I would always wear and the very same one you like to wear too. Wear it. I may not be there physically but I do hope you will feel like you’re not alone. Unless of course you’re not in the flat, then wear it when you reach home.

If it’s not late at night, call Baekhyun out and meet him, his number is also in the notebook by the phone in the living room. It will be good since I’m sure that you’re not the only one who misses me. It will be good talking about the same person you miss. After all, you both were special to me too. Tell him how much I miss him. Tell him to tell you about the things we did as a child.

Go ahead, wear that sweatshirt out and meet him.

Talk to me on my voice mail after you’re back from meeting him.

I love you and I miss you.

Love,

Jongdae

It was a relatively short day at work, I got to leave around 3pm because I was done with the things I had to do. I walked over to Jihyun's office to say goodbye and she asked how was the last letter I read, I told her about it, filling her in with as much information I could. I told her I was going home to get changed and meet Baekhyun, Jongdae's childhood friend. She gave me one last hug before she kicked me out of her office.

I took the notebook from the living room and brought it with me to our bedroom. Immediately scanning the pages for Baekhyun's number and sending him a quick text before throwing my phone on my bed.

Setting down my bag on the table, I opened Jongdae's wardrobe and was glad to see the sweatshirt that he was talking about was placed right on top. It was a grey Adidas sweat shirt that I got him on our first anniversary. The material was really comfortable and if Jongdae’s not wearing it, I was the one wearing it. I grabbed it and a pair of high-waisted denim shorts from my wardrobe and got changed. 

I was putting my make-up when I heard my ringtone. I walked over as I tried to blend in my bb-cream with one hand and saw that it was a text message from Baekhyun, agreeing to meet me at the coffee shop two blocks away from my apartment in half an hour. I typed in my reply before hitting send and walking back to finish up. 

I grabbed my usual clutch and threw in my lipstick, my keys and phone before I chose to wear the grey high-top Converse before walking out.

This is going to be interesting.

//

[Author's Note]

I really hope it's been interesting.

Somehow I've already started writing the last chapter even before the next one LOL.

There's something wrong with me ahaha.

See y'all in the next update.

xx