Chaerin carried her belongings through the airport to her destination when her phone rang.

"Chae-ah! How come you're leaving?!" Bom sounded desperate through the phone.

"I'm sorry for not saying goodbye"She started sobbing "I don't have the strength. But please, even if I'm being selfish, forgive me"

Chaerin was about to aboard the plane to leave Korea.

"Yah! Chae we're going to miss you so much" Dara said this time with cracking voice. As it was a whisper Chaerin could hear Minzy crying in the back.

"I'm going to miss you too" Her voice cracked in the middle of the sentence.

"We will be always by your side, remember that" Bom spoke slowly, trying to prevent herself from crying. “Go safely”

"Yes, you too" With this she hanged up, wiped her tears with the back of her hand and aboard the plane.

Chaerin booked a hotel room in LA for a couple of weeks. She will see what to do then, meanwhile she decided to relax and work. Try to get her mind elsewhere.

As she looked out of the window her mind filled with her best friend, she missed him already and she couldn't even talk to him through the phone, otherwise she will break.

She was feeling guilty and sad but now more than ever she would have time to think about what to do with their relationship, even if it meant behaving like a child. She needed to think, especially since facing Jiyong wasn’t her only problem.

Falling asleep was the only solution for Chaerin to stop thinking about him and regretting everything. She woke up 20 minutes before arriving the States, she looked at her phone and saw she had 30 lost calls and 50 messages.

All from Jiyong.

Her tears started falling down her cheeks silently as she put her phone down.

She felt horrible for not saying goodbye to him. But she felt even worse when he stopped calling her. “What if he is drunk?” “Is he ok?” were just two of the questions that wandered her mind. But there was a third question that was the one that haunted her the most...

“What if he didn't need me anymore?”

Trying to shake them off she dedicated to work intensely. At the end of the day she couldn't sleep properly and she had strong headaches, but overworking was the only thing that kept her from remembering him. YG called at least once a week given she had her work done the same week he sent it.

“Chaerin, there is no more work for you apart from the MV, you can take some days off” YG was worried about that MV because Jiyong and her will need to see each other and he decided to give her some days off for her to prepare.

“No sir, I came here to work I need to finish the lyrics for 2NE1’s comeback and-” She could not finish the sentence when YG started talking again.

“Chaerin-shi, I understand, but I will not send you any more work”

“But sir…”

“No buts, your birthday is some days from now, get yourself busy with that, I’ve got to go now, make sure you get proper sleep”

He hanged up leaving Chaerin alone with her complaints.

After some time living in LA, her friends started calling her every time more frequently. She was surprised but grateful. As if she was invoking them her cellphone rang. She stopped looking at her computer to pick it up.

“Yeoboseyo” She answered while returning her gaze to the computer intending to keep working.

“Chae-ah! How are you doing?” Bom talked through the phone knowing she was probably working while talking with her.

“Bommie! I'm fine what about you and the girls?” Chaerin tried to sound cheerful… tried.

Bom sighed “You are working, aren’t you” She sounded disappointed “Please understand, it's for your own sake, don't risk your health for work”

Chaerin noticed her friend was talking seriously, lacking that cheerful attitude of hers.

“Yes, I know but I'm far away from you girls, and for you to not be affected by my absence I need to work hard, after all it was my decision to come here and it's my responsibility to take care of you. I will not run away from my responsibilities anymore”

“What do you mean by anymore? You are the strongest girl I've ever met and you always work hard, so please let us take care of you this time” Bom felt her voice cracking mid sentence.

“I'm sorry for causing you trouble” Her voice sounded monotone and sad, she was worrying her friends.

“I’ll tell the girls to call you later, i’ve got to go” Bom sighed “Take care”

“Yes, you too” Chaerin felt she was being scolded.

As soon as she hanged up her cellphone it began to ring again, this time it was her mother’s cellphone. She prepared herself to hear whatever her mother had to say.

“Yeoboseyo”

“Chaerin, Ha rin got worse” Were her mother’s only words. By her tone of voice she had cried a lot.

Her little sister had an accident almost a year ago that left her in a deep coma. The doctors said it could be brain death and she could wake up any moment, or never. Her heartbeat and breathing were still autonomous, until now. Every time her mother called was to give her bad news about her sister’s health, every day that passed she got worse.

“It can’t be, it can’t be!” Chaerin started with a whisper and finished almost screaming. “She was fine, the doctors said she was getting better!”

Before leaving Korea she went to visit her sister one more time, she stayed until it got dark and the staff told her to leave since visiting hours had finished.

“They said she was better!” She repeated crying, hoping it will become reality just because she was screaming it.

“They called about an hour ago, they didn’t know what happened, it was sudden” Her mother’s voice broke along with Chaerin’s heart. “I’ll call you later sweetheart, I’ve got to sign some papers here in the hospital”

“Ok, bye mom” She hanged up with her heart every time more damaged.

She didn’t felt like working this time, so she just grabbed a few cans of beer and headed to the balcony.

The view was outstanding, lights and music flew in the air. The moon shone brightly upon her, she was drinking her third beer when her phone began to ring again. Without even turning to watch her phone’s screen, she knew it was him. She knew she mustn't answer him, that she would suffer more, break more. But she forgot how weak she became when it came to him.

“Oppa” She whispered

“Hunchae” He answered

“I’m so-”

“Wait, before you say something I don’t blame you for not saying goodbye, otherwise we wouldn’t have been able to really leave each other behind” He interrupted her. “I’ll be living with Kiko from now on, I realized I really love her, and that you were right about distancing, it could have ruined everything if we hadn't” He paused to hear her answer, but she didn’t say anything so he continued “I’ll move to Japan”

“Good luck oppa” Her voice had no power, her eyes were lost, as if she was seeing something that wasn’t really there, and her heart broken, if there was something else to break. She hanged up quickly and turned off the phone.

Those sleeping pills on her bedside table were becoming every second that passed, in a good idea.

It will be a long night.