As long as I get up tomorrow as I have today, surely I'll live through yet another day.

When we finally got back to the dorm it was already 11pm and we were both panting. We stood in behind the front door with our hands on our knees, trying to catch our breath. It had started raining on the walk back, forcing us to run 4 streets and end up soaked from our socks to the roots of our hair. We took one look at each other and burst out in a fit of giggles. Baekhyun looked like a drowned beagle and I am sure I did too.

The mood was only light for a short moment, as it was broken when I heard a door open to my right and turned just in time to see a sleepy looking Yixing (like always), blinking at us in confusion. He rubbed his eyes with balled hands and tilted his head to the left as he started to shuffle towards us. We straightened up and tried to hide out grins with little luck.

‘Have you only just got in?’ he croaked. We shared a look of panic. I racked my mind of what to say, after a few seconds I figured I should stick with the truth, minus the whole bit about me and Baekhyun getting up to things in a dark ally.

‘Uh, we went for a drink, but the wait was a little long… And I spilt my drink everywhere so we had to help clean up, but then, when we were leaving, a group of fans spotted us and we had to hide in an alley… Kind of wild, but hey we’re back!’ I forced a smile. Okay so I was lying, but it is close enough to the truth, and a little white lie never hurt anyone, right?

He raised his eyebrows at me slowly, as if considering the answer, but I guessed he was too tired to make decisions, so he just shrugged and stated ‘It happens.’ before turning back into the room he came from. Just as we thought he was gone he stuck his head back round the frame through the small gap.

‘You should probably go to bed if you want to be functioning at practise in the morning.’ he suggested, gesturing with his eyes to our room. He disappeared again, but not for long as head peaked out again. ‘Oh, and next time you come back late, be quieter. You woke me up.’ he gave us a small glare before finally retreating back into his room for the last time.

We did not take his suggestion and stayed up until the early hours of the morning talking about anything and everything, both of us felt more comfortable talking now that we didn’t have anything to hide from each other. However, Yixing was proven right when the following morning we entered the studio like zombies, minus the brain eating part. Oh, how I wished we had listened to him.

~

I grew to like Baekhyun more and more and we kept falling deeper in love with one another. At first hiding was a pain but it was worth it.  The nervous kisses exchanged between us were sweeter that anyone could imagine, even if somebody walked in seconds later, humming one of our songs. But, there was never a good time to be in a relationship with someone when you were an idol.

In the month we had been dating, date nights included watching movies and eating together, all in the privacy of our room of course. And with a new comeback being planned we were all being pushed more and more, giving me and Baekhyun less time in privacy. We slept in the same bed at night, lucky our company didn’t bother splashing out on the rookie group of 12 boys, which allowed us to sleep tangled together, but that was basically the only private time we had.

I suggested that we stay up an extra hour some nights, just so we could talk, however that didn’t end well as we needed all the strength we could get for the endless hours of practise. Whenever we stayed awake after all the other members, who when to sleep as soon as they reached the dorm, we would be in no fit state to move the next morning (not like the company would take that as an excuse to not be in practise), and wake up the next day in the hallway between the front door of the dorm and our shared room, having been worn to the ground from practise.

We still talked though, we just couldn’t show our affection as much as we wanted, sometimes Baek would go too far in public and press his lips to my neck discreetly, while giving me a back hug and I would pull him to the side to remind him that we were supposed to be secretive. He would leave the conversation with a sad frown on his face which I would apologise for later, wrapped up in bed and whispering sweet nothings into his ear.

Another one of these incidents had happened today, as we were having a 5 minute break from practising and we were sat crossed legged on the floor. Baekhyun, being sleepy, as it was getting late and we had been dancing all day, lowered his head onto my lap and started tracing patterns on the skin of my calf that was bare from the shorts I was wearing. I had no problem with it until the other members started looking at us weirdly and I remembered the words we exchanged back in the alley. My hand wafted his away from my leg and he sat up and looked at me with hurt in his eyes. I dragged myself off the floor and pulled him up too before leading him to the door.

‘Just going to get some air, be back in a sec!’ I called back to the other members. I caught the look on Yixing’s face and saw that he was squinting at us suspiciously, I ignored him and dragged Baekhyun into the cold air of winter. I would have to make this quick.

Baekhyun was hanging his head and staring at his toes as he curled and uncurled them in his shoes to keep himself warm. I gripped his chin, like before in the alley, and brought his face level with mine.

‘Baekhyun...’ I sighed, ‘You need to stop doing this.’ I didn’t want to hurt his feelings but I knew how sensitive he was, so I doubted that would go well.

His eyes closed as a pained expression marred his pretty face. ‘But I want to touch you.’ he breathed as his eyes opened again and gazed deep into mine. I sighed.

‘You know the promise.’

‘I want to touch you.’ he repeated, firmly this time.

‘We can’t.’ It sounded final and Baekhyun knew it. He looked away from me for a second and when his eyes found mine again they were cold.

‘Come on, let’s go back or they might figure it out.’ he said sarcastically and moved around me to get back inside, leaving a cold atmosphere behind him. I stood alone in my shorts and thin top, without Baekhyun there I was left cold, both physically and mentally.

A/N: Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry (starts singing super junior). I legit wrote this in the past hour because I am stupid and I had authors block... again. I gave you some fluff and I gave you some angst, from here on out its gonna get less fluffy and more angsty. If you are not ok with that you can tell me and I will try add in some fun moments, but y'all have to remember this is an angst fic (I have to remind myself sometimes...). Don't even ask me how it's gonna turn out because I have no clue :) Have fun reading this! I will try not to leave it too long again, but I have to study for exams so I will fit it in hopefully... I know vaguely what is happening next chapter so it will probably be updated faster than this time (I had no idea what I was doing..) Anyways I will stop now, Thanks for reading, subscriptions are appreciated, as well as upvotes but who am I to tell you what to do? Bye bye, until next time!

P.S. this took so long to upload I wrote that A/N about half an hour ago! My wifi hates me

Edited 12/03/2016