21 April

My unit has been sent to Cheorwon for a couple of days. We can use our phones here and I got through to Jjong. We even talked for a while.

At first we were joking around but then both realized we were just fooling ourselves.

“Hyung”, he said, “I’m not made for this kind of thing. I can’t really.”

“I know.”

I feel the same way. I’m not a soldier.

It was before the attack on Gimpo that I started my mandatory service. So I was already in the army by then. But I had always thought that I would just go through 1 ½ years of training and then return to my job and my world. Just 18 month of inconvenience and then back to reality.

But now THIS is reality.

Weirdly enough Kibum joined the army just two month after me, voluntarily. He wasn’t due yet. But he wanted to get it over with, I guess.

I always expected the service to be hardest on him and Taemin, since Minho being athletic and sturdy was probably the only one among us who was even mentally capable of serving and Jjong and I at least not likely to be bullied for looks or behavior.

Imagining Taeminnie with his fear of bugs, pretty face and slight body among bull-necked FROKAs even now makes me sick.

And Kibum? He’s usually a chameleon, easily adjusts and makes friends. But in the army? He hates to work out and ... Gods everybody thinks he’s gay. He runs like a girl and is more interested in fashion than soccer. How can he survive? Especially now that there is no escape, no “easy service” for celebrities like there used to be back in the times when Rain-Hyung was drafted.

When I asked Jonghyun if he knew anything about Taemin and Kibum he said:

“I’ve heard that Taem is stationed on east coast near Sokcho.” And after an awkward pause he added: “Kibum’s company has been posted somewhere in the Kumgang mountains.”

I needed a moment to process what that means, then stupidly said:

“But that’s in North Korea.”

“Yeah.”