chapter 4: stand by me

Oct 2013.

Hanbin had found it weird that he never dated a girl once. He sometimes questioned himself, was he that not charming? His looks wasn't really his main feature but at least he had to be appealing to someone. When s were asked by their leader, they would all say that Hanbin was too busy locking himself in the recording room and studio that he had barely any time to look at girls, or for them to look at him. Yunhyeong suggested that maybe he should date one of the singers that used his song, that sang for his song. That way, they could spend time easily together.

One problem; there wasn't exactly any girl available to Hanbin. And his songs were mostly suitable for male singers.

Not until Lee Hayi came. Well, she never actually sang his song yet, but she was a singer. A petite girl with a powerful voice but has her charm of her own. It's been over a year since she joined YG and during those time, their innocent friendship had slowly turned into something more. Well, at least that was what Hanbin felt. He didn't really understand women and how to read their minds but according to his hyungs (even Junhoe who seemed to be more trustworthy considering he knew her the longest), Hayi did have interest in him too.

And so, he listed the help of s to help him find the perfect way to confess his ever so growing feelings. He thought that since he was a motae solo, s who had more experiences would be much of a help. To his dismay, they were more like headaches to him.

"WHAT? No way! What fun is there when you just say, 'I like you," Junhoe mocked Donghyuk's way of saying the three words. They were all drained after a tight session of training for their Win performance but quickly regained some sort of hyper strength the moment Hanbin asked for a SOS.

"Then what do you suggest, smartass? Use sign language or something?" Donghyuk rubbed his temples, annoyed having to deal with this creature named Junhoe who never seemed to get tired disagreeing with him. "Well, yes, sign language of love," he stepped forward to his Jinhwan hyung and boldly moved his face till it was just an inch closer from Jinhwan's. He then moved back forward and excitedly urged, "Just like that then bam! Kiss her ON. THE. LIPS."

Yunhyeong rolled his eyes to his dongsaeng's statement as Hanbin showed a nervous expression. "Ki-kiss? Already?" he widened his eyes. At moments like this, he totally forgot that Junhoe is a year younger than he is. "Of course, girls love impulsive actions like that!" he proudly said as if he had all the experience in the world. But then, a thought popped up in his head, "Wait, hyung, don't tell me you've never...."

"Aniya! Of course I've had my first kiss," Hanbin lied. Well, it wasn't really a lie, he didn't know whether to count that one time where his lips accidentally landed on his neighbour, a noona who just moved in from Taiwan. He was 11, she was 13, and it all happened in a blink of an eye because she slipped and he tried catching her but ended up falling too. Hanbin thought then that maybe that was love. He later figured out that it was pure accidental when the noona completely ignored his presence at school and even embarassed him in front of class. Ever since then, Hanbin made a conclusion; girls are complicated.

Jinhwan stood up and pushed Junhoe out of his way. "Don't listen to this brat. I think you should sing to her." Hanbin raised an eyebrow, "Sing? I'm a rapper." The elder sighed heavily. "That's not the point. It doesn't matter if your voice is not good, what matters is the sincerity."

"What should I sing then?" Hanbin wasn't really confident in singing his confession. "The lyrics I saw the other day, it's about Hayi, right?" he asked which perked the curiosity of the other members. "He wrote a song? Again? What are the words this time?" Donghyuk interrupted.

"What is this mysterious feeling?

Were you always this pretty?

Especially today

Why do you look prettier today?

I'm falling for you right now"

"Oh boy, Hanbin hyung always writes the cheesiest lyrics whenever noona's involved. Your case is serious hyung, which is why you need to confess, NOW!" Junhoe smooched out his lips as if urging his hyung to follow his idea. Bobby got up to say his own opinion as well, "Yah, if it's girls, it's flowers. They love flowers! Just give a bouquet with a card saying everything. Easy."

"Noona's not just any girl. She's different from most girls," Junhoe protested. "You're implying she hates flowers?" Bobby challenged.

"Nope."

"Then it's settled. Don't act like you know everything about Hayi just because we know her later than you," Bobby retorted, satisfied he could shut the younger's mouth. Not everyone could do that and maybe it was Bobby's lucky day.

A knock was heard on the door and the boys were surprised to see the crew from Win. They informed that filming would start and they would have to set the cameras in place and all. The boys just bowed and complied, sealing their mouths completely as if they hadn't been talking about a confession to a girl. Amidst all that, Yunhyeong came by Hanbin's side and put a hand on his shoulder. "Just do whatever feels right. And it doesn't have to be today. You'll know when it's time," he patted Hanbin's shoulder before leaving the room.

"I have a question for B.I. though," Yoo Inna, the MC for the night of the final battle spoke. "You're so good-looking, but you've never had a girlfriend. Is that true?" Hanbin was actually mentally cursing himself, this was more embarassing than he thought. To reveal he was a motae solo on nationwide television, in front an audience which also includes his respected seniors, was just mad.

Nevertheless, he picked up his microphone and answered, "Yes, I've been living alone for 18 years." That received screams and squeals from the fans, which of course was indeed good news.

"What are you doing?~" Soohyun's perky voice surprised Hayi a bit. She was impusively trying to hide the iPad she had been using to watch Team B's performance. But she then figured it would just be plain obvious that she was hiding something and so she answered, "Watching Win." Soohyun came scurrying over, a worried expression on her face. "OMG! Today's their final battle! Oh boy, oh boy, I'm screwed. I totally forgot! Why did I even forgot?!" she practically screamed half the words she said to which Hayi wasn't fond of considering her cochlea could be damaged due to the younger's high pitched voice. "Has oppa's team performed yet?"

"Yes."

Hayi regretted answering because Soohyun literally screamed again. She had always know that Soohyun was a huge fan of Jinhwan ever since she heard his voice. Soohyun would always cheer for Team B because Jinhwan was in it. Purely for that reason only. And now, she missed his final performance. After a deep breath was let out, Soohyun dragged a chair from across the room to sit next to Hayi. "Okay, I'm okay now. So what song did they perform?"

"Teddy oppa's song, you know, Just Another Boy. Both teams had to make the song fit their style by putting in lyrics and choreographing of course," Hayi explained. "Right. I've heard oppa talk about this once," she nodded her head. "How'd Team B do then?"

"Great. They're doing it as this song about how solos are lonely and desperate but in a comical way. They even performed with the backup dancers who also acted."

"AH! Why did I forget this? Must have been hella performance."

Hayi's phone vibrated as a notification message from Chanhyuk came in. Then another, from Seungyoon. And another one from Taehyun. Soohyun saw this and immediately confiscated the phone to investigate for herself. As she was trying to open all the messages, another one came from Jennie.

From: Chanhyuk

Kyaaaa Hanbin's just confessed he's single and available! Hayi-ah as the same age friends with both of you, I'm hinting you! Wink wink ;)

From: Seungyoon oppa

Kim Hanbin's been single for 18 years? Someone has got to do something about that....

From: Taehyun oppa

So, I am presenting you evidence for the tenth time that yes, Kim Hanbin has a crush on you.

From: Jeni

Is he stupid or what? Why would he declare that? -.-

A smile crept onto Soohyun's face and Hayi knew she was doomed that night. Because of Kim Hanbin, Soohyun would tire her out by her teasings and interrogations. Hayi knew Soohyun very well and how she just had to know everything. Now, what was Hayi supposed to answer?

"I knew I'd find you here," Hayi said as she settled the ramyun cup and split her chopsticks evenly. She opened the already steaming cup and started to dig in. Hanbin looked at her weirdly while chewing his own ramyun. "What happened to diet?" he asked. "Diets can wait. Especially for days like these."

"Days like what?" he asked but he knew the answer very well. After their energetic and soulful performance earlier, they still lost to Team A. As like any other days, Hanbin would mostly be in front of the convenience store in their neighbourhood, eating ramyun. But mostly, whenever he's sad or felt like life was so hard on him, this would be the place he would go to. On other days, Hayi would always reject Hanbin's offer to eat ramyun together and would just sit there and chat with him. But on days when Hayi's feeling really down, Hanbin would buy the ramyun cup beforehand and so she had no choice but to eat it.

But that day, that day was probably the most depressing and frustrating day for Hanbin ever. It was even more hard on him than when he told Hayi about his fear that somehow his dream couldn't be achieved. It was worse than when Hayi experienced a thing called netizens and their hate comments. It was that bad that Hayi felt guilty of bringing the topic up. "Er....well, you're probably going to buy it for me anyways," she simply shook it off and hoped Hanbin would play along.

After seeing their live performance and the results of course, Hayi immediately cancelled her plan of rehearsing the whole night and asked her manager to send her to the convenience store. It had been that many times since she and Hanbin would sit and talk there and then he would walk her to her dorm. That many times till her manager trusted Hanbin enough to send her back safely.

"Do you know that feeling when you've worked so hard, you've given it your all, you've put your life on the line for it, but it just doesn't pays off?" Hanbin opened up first. Hayi calmly answered, "I do."

"It's just...I really thought I could debut, with them. I'm so scared, Hayi. I'm scared that we're going to disband and I might get kicked out. I don't want that to happen," he confessed. "I like it here. I like being under YG. President Yang knows me and takes good care of me, our sunbaes are really awesome people who I inspire to be, I think my stye suits YG, there are my members here, there are my friends, and there's you. I don't want to leave."

"Me? What does that have anything to do?"

"Everything. If I'm not under YG, I doubt we can see each other anymore. I would most  probably not live in this neighbourhood anymore and then we can't have our late-night talks like this."

Hayi observed him. It still amazed her how everyone thought Hanbin was so strong but only she knew how weak he could be. Scared, terrified, lost. But maybe it was because she was the only person he opened up to. She still couldn't figure out why though.

"Yah, Kim Hanbin! Be a little optimistic, will ya? It's not like it's the final word. Prove to President Yang that you guys have got what it takes to stay and debut together. Work harder, harder than when you've put your life on the line for. Work 100 times harder than during Win, show him that he has no reason to kick any of you out. I know you boys work harder than any singers even."

"If it's not this, there's always another way. One door closes, another door opens. When I lose to Jimin, I felt horrible. I wanted to win so badly but then now I'm here, it worked out for the good. Who knows if I win, I might ended up on a different route. This is not your in life, Hanbin."

He looked at her and absorbed every single word she said. Once again, Hanbin was thankful that Hayi was there, right beside him. Always there to give him a wake-up call whenever he's spouting nonsense like this, always there to lend a shoulder, to give a hand. And it got him thinking that maybe he didn't want Hayi to leave his side then. It could be selfish, but he didn't think he could survive without her now.

"He said what?"

Hayi eagerly nodded her head. "He said that in order to write good songs like you, he needs to have a girlfriend. But seriously, I don't have anyone to introduce him to." Hanbin laughed at that, Chanhyuk could be so ridiculous sometimes. As part of the 96 liner, he sometimes couldn't understand Chanhyuk's way of thinking. Maybe that was why he was not the best of friends with the latter.

"We're here," Hanbin announced. Hayi stopped in her tracks and looked to her right to confirm it was her apartment building. "Bye. See you tomorrow, and fighting, Kim Hanbin!" she balled her hands into fists and pumped them down, making Hanbin smile. Cute, he thought.

"Just do whatever feels right. And it doesn't have to be today. You'll know when it's time."

Yunhyeong's words rang in his head. He looked up ahead to see Hayi already walking back to her apartment, hugging her cardigan along the process. "Hayi-ah! Wait a minute!" he shouted and jogged towards the latter who now stopped to turn to him. "I have something to tell you but don't cut me off till I'm finish, okay?" She nodded, slightly curious to what he had to say.

He took a deep breath before finally letting it out. "Hayi, do you know that you're always there when I need you? You're probably the only person who knows all my darkest secrets and darkest moments. I found it hard to open up to my members about my problems because I'm their leader you know, so I should be the one to feel burdened, not them. But with you, I can let my guard down and you'd be there for me with a helping hand."

Hayi showed a confused expression, she couldn't tell where Hanbin was going with this. "My point is, I don't want to lose someone like you by my side. Someone who would cheer me up when I'm down and wouldn't hesitate to slap me in the face if I'm out of my mind. So, please stay by my side forever. Lee Hayi, go out with me," Hanbin blurted everything he felt and wanted to say.

She paused for a moment and said, "It's not a question, so do you need an answer?" Hanbin was shocked, that wasn't a response he was expecting. "Of course! But if you don't want to answer it now...it's-"

"Well let me ask you a question. You do know I have a dating ban?" Hanbin nodded. "And you're asking me to date you?"

"Well, Jiyong hyung once said that life's too short. Enjoy it while you can, enjoy it while you're young."

"You're quoting GD oppa?" she raised an eyebrow. "Yes?" he answered sheepishly.

Hayi stayed silent. She was silent for about two minutes which made Hanbin feel anxious. Two minutes felt like twenty.

"Yes."

Hanbin's eyes bulged as a smile crept onto his face. The kind that you couldn't help it. "Yes? Yes? You're saying yes?" he turned around and walked in a circle, taking off his cap in the process. "Woohooo! Assa! Lee Hayi said yes!!"

"Yah, be quiet. The neighbours are going to complain," she shushed. "Hayi-ah, thank you. Thank you, really!" he crashed her petite frame into a hug which surprised her. He then let go of her and started to walk away when he remembered something. "Ah, right! I totally forgot what Junhoe told!"

And with that, without any notice, his lips crashed into hers. Hayi was stunned, she didn't know what to do and so she just closed her eyes. After they broke away from the kiss, Hanbin could only chuckle seeing Hayi's reddened face. "See you tomorrow, Hayi," he bid his goodbye and walked away.

"Wait, what Junhoe told?" she suddenly recalled. "Could it be that..." once she realized what was going on, she just sighed and chuckled. Part of her was embarassed that the members already knew about this but mostly she was happy. Happy to be by his side then, now and into the future.

a/n: the day when hanbin realizes he just can't live without her. thanks for all the subscribes and the time you took to give this story a chance! <3