chapter 10: hanbin's biggest conflict

Hanbin love s to the core, no doubt about that. But they were like family and what happened with family was that you didn't need to say it aloud or treat them like you mean it. Family meant people whom you could treat badly and they would do you the favour of treating you twice as worst. Feeling the family love of iKon? Well, that was how iKon worked.

He had his favourite hyungs too. So many respected seniors and rappers; his favourite Jiyong hyung, his forever supporter Tablo hyung, Masta Wu, Mino, Zico. The list goes on and on. That list included one more exclusive member the moment Hanbin met him. He instantly took a liking in this particular hyung because they clicked fast. It was like he was meant to be friends with Hanbin. Even Bobby took a week to drop formalities with him but not Jaewon, not Jung Jaewon.

He watched Show Me the Money 4 because of Mino, to support him of course. And because he knew what that show could do to you; drain all the sanity you have left and make you so mentally weak that you feel like jumping of a building, not literally though, he was just saying it.

And that was the first time he saw One, or now as he call him, Jaewon hyung. No kidding, that hyung is freaking handsome, even to boys as Hanbin would refer. The fact that Jaewon was actually good at rapping and not just some flower boy rapper-wannabe made Hanbin respect the latter. One time, Jaewon got into a team with Mino, making Hanbin wonder of how the two were in real life. His curiosity was answered when he found out Jaewon entered YG as a trainee not long after that.

Jaewon was fun to hang out with, someone whom could be his friend at times and his hyung at other times. They grew closer naturally, sharing a few drinks of soju and bubble tea. Simply put, he was glad to be friends with Jaewon.

But then, President Yang just had to crush all that by putting him as Hayi's partner in her new music video.

Nah, they're just acting. Plus, he's Jaewon hyung.

And then he found out that they were going to kiss from Hayi.

Just on the cheek. No biggie.

It wasn't what happened when he watched her music video though.

"HYUNG!" Chanwoo slammed the door to the studio opened, panting non-stop as he tried to catch his breath amidst forming a sentence. His eyes widened when he saw the phone in Hanbin's hands.

"HANBIN, DON'T!" Bobby crashed into Chanwoo because he didn't manage to stop in time. It was dramatic, yes. But this was Kim Hanbin we were talking about. Kim Hanbin watching Lee Hayi kissing another guy. No, scratch that. Watching his Jaewon hyung kiss his girlfriend. "You watched it?" the elder asked calmly and expected chairs to fly all over and was prepared to stop him from barging into the trainees' dorm to hunt Jaewon down.

But all he got was a nod.

"Are you okay, hyung?" Chanwoo looked concerned. He would rather have his hyung go all crazy mad then just smugly smile like that. "They're just acting. Plus, it's not like I didn't know that Jaewon hyung was going to feature in this music video," Hanbin shrugged leaving Bobby gaping. "WHAT?! I almost got murdered that night and I didn't even do anything. Jaewon hyung kissed her and you decided to be cool about that?!" Bobby screamed, almost feeling like ripping his head off because of Hanbin's reaction. "WAH!!! WAH!!! Okay, I get it. Jaewon hyung is okay, but not me? What kind of bull is this?"

"I learned from experience. Plus, I told Hayi I was going to be cool about it," Hanbin explained. He tried to convince himself that this was the right thing to do deep down.

Chanwoo dragged Bobby out of the studio before more damage could be down. The latter just fled first, still dumbfounded at Hanbin's reaction. The maknae took out his phone and opened the group conversation.

Chanwoo: False alarm. All good.

Junhoe: What do you mean false alarm? Was that not Jaewon hyung?!

Yunhyeong: Don't lie, Chanwoo. How bad is it?

Chanwoo: I'm serious. Hanbin hyung is okay about this.

Donghyuk: How can he be? o.O

Chanwoo: Jiwon hyung isn't though....

"I thought she's like going to be cold towards me but really, she came and greeted me first with a smile on her face. She even did a 90 degrees bow! Like how adorable is that!" Jaewon laughed thinking back to the first time he met Hayi on set. Mino smiled too, he knew the feeling. He too thought she was unfriendly but as time past by, he found her laughing with the iKon members whenever. Totally changed his mind on how she was like.

He turned to the side and realized that Hanbin didn't laugh. He was smiling, but anyone could tell it was forced. Hanbin was trying very hard to not just punch his hyung right then. That would be uncivilized. They only knew each other for a year. That wouldn't be right. He tried very very hard to be cool about it and like a professional like he should, but man, Jaewon talking about how cute Hayi was certainly bothering him. It was like he was purposely pushing his buttons.

"But it was awkward at first. I mean, I don't know how this whole music video thing works but kissing someone you just met? I know it's like just a peck but still..." Jaewon was still telling the story of how he met Hayi. What started this? It was just a simple comment from Hanbin, "So hyung, I saw you're in Hayi's music video." And then the guy just went on telling of what impressions did Hayi have on him and the kiss. Mino wanted to slap Jaewon for blabbering about this but he couldn't blame the guy. He knew nothing of Hanbin and Hayi.

"Yeah...Jaewon-ah, why don't we..." Mino tried dragging the guy away but it didn't work. "No, wait, hyung. And so we had to, you know. The funny thing was, I was like a tiny bit, like just a hint, nervous," he laughed unbelievably. "You were?" Hanbin inquired. It was sarcastic but only Mino could read it. "Wouldn't you? I know she's cute but it's not like I like her but still...kissing a girl? The most nerve wrecking thing for me."

"Shocker considering your good looks, hyung. I thought you're a pro at this," Hanbin commented. Jaewon waved it off, "Nah, I'm a loser when it comes to things like that." "But Hayi's cute, huh? What do you think, hyung? You agree on that?" Hanbin turned to Mino who was completely thrown off guard by the question. "Uh...yes? I mean no. No, maybe?" Mino was searching for the right answer. "But like a lil' sis. Very! Right, Jaewon?"

Thankfully the latter nodded. "An adorable little sister indeed."

Just as he barely managed to hold back whatever jealousy he had in him, he bumped into Jaewon and Hayi chatting down the hallway at the practice building. So what, my favourite hyung and my girl are getting along. Yeah, that's great.

Or at least that was what he had been telling himself. He marched up to the two nevertheless, just in time to hear Hayi's adorable laugh. But not so adorable then because all he could see was she laughing with someone other than him.

"Oh, Hanbin! We were just talking about you," Jaewon greeted. He let out a breath, kind of relieved that the only thing those two had in common was having him as a mutual friend. "Really? What about?" Hanbin asked. Hayi then elaborated of how she was telling Jaewon that he took Hanbin's place as the most popular trainee amongst the girls, or at least that was what Jennie had claimed. "You know, Hanbin is so famous among the girls. Everywhere he went, they just froze in awe, kind of like starstruck," Hayi said. Hanbin felt a hint of jealousy plus sarcasm coming from her, but maybe it was just him. But still he was going to savour the moment because Hayi didn't do this often.

"Oh please, I'm nowhere near that," Jaewon humbly said. "What are you doing here, hyung?" Hanbin changed the topic. "Oh, meeting up with Mino and Jiwon. I need to train for Show Me the Money, so yeah."

"What about Hanbin? He participated too, you know," Hayi stated. Hanbin was slightly proud that she was defending him although it was not needed, really. "Those two went to the finals. Gotta learn from the best, no offence," Jaewon joked as he punched Hanbin's shoulder. The three laughed. It was a thing that might be so uncomfortable to talk about during the time. But because time passed and Hanbin grew so much from that, they could all look back and laugh about it. He spent millions of times memorizing lyrics so he wouldn't make an embarassing mistake on broadcast. Let's just say he got over that problem for the sake of his debut.

"Alright, I gotta go. We should all get a drink sometimes," Jaewon suggested and the couple nodded. "Whenever he's free. I mean, iKon always have full-packed schedules," Hayi blurted. "Hey, stop with the sarcasm, will you? We all will have schedules like that soon," Hanbin said. "Okay, okay. Just text me, okay? See you later, man. You too, Hayi."

After Jaewon left, Hayi gave Hanbin a weird look. "What's with the look?" he inquired. "Are you really Kim Hanbin?" she asked back, making him dumbfounded. "Because you haven't said a word or give a fit about the kiss I had," she explained. He just chuckled, "What? That one peck for like one second in a music video?"

"Please, I told you, I am a cool person now. I can kiss you for like a million more times to make up for that one small kiss you had with Jaewon hyung," he bragged. She laughed, this was not what she expected at all. "I'm impressed, Kim Hanbin."

He put his arm around her pulled her close, smiling smugly. "You're so damn lucky to have me as your boyfriend," he said as she rolled her eyes. "I take that back. You are Kim Hanbin indeed," she stated and he just hugged her tighter as they walked away.

"You guys are early," Hanbin commented as he lowered his mask and took a seat at the table the two were seating. "You're the one who's late," Hayi retorted as she rolled her eyes. Jaewon only laughed at this, seeing the two's close relationship up close was pretty funny. They were at a tteokbokki stand somewhere near the trainees' dorm and it was 1 in the morning. Hayi was ready to go to bed when her phone beeped with Hanbin's message asking her to come out for a drink. He told her that Jaewon would be joining too and she figured that they were going to have a drink together after all.

"How's the song going?" Jaewon asked. "Great, I just need President Yang's approval and we're good," Hanbin clarified as he poured himself some soju. "You're having a comeback already? Geez, don't you ever rest?" Hayi inquired rhetorically. She knew that the answer was perhaps, most likely, a no. "Maybe it's just a release. I've heard that the girls might be next."

"The girls? You mean, the new girl group? Jennie and all?" Hayi asked, sounding excited. She knew them for a few years now. She knew them well enough to know how hard the girls have worked for this. Not any less than iKon when they were on the line of getting cut or getting a chance to debut. And so, she could not help but to be happy for them. "Yeah, but it's just rumours for now."

"I hope it's true. They've been waiting forever," Hayi commented.

One shot after another, the three shared interesting stories, making the bond between them closer than ever. Hayi told them about the people she met at music shows and how she just realized that she barely knew anyone and everyone looked like they were scared of her. Jaewon told them about a puppy he saw at a pet shop the other day that looked just like her. Hanbin protested and said no puppy could look this cold. That certainly earned a slap on his back.

"Hey, she's cute. That puppy had the same big eyes and lovable was written all over its face," Jaewon said it as ever so casually and Hayi acted so naturally like nothing happened that Hanbin felt he was the weird one here for noticing that Jaewon just said Hayi was cute. Sighing, he took down another shot as he swallowed its bitterness and all the jealousy threatening to come out.

"Jaewon hyung," Hanbin called out. Another ten minutes had passed since then and everyone was getting more and more tipsy, and tired. "You know, I really really love you," he slurred. Jaewon just nodded, Hanbin could say things like this even when he was sober. "But why do you have to make a conflict in our friendship?"

Jaewon looked up to the latter, slightly doubting whether he just heard what he just heard. "I...I tried really hard not to say anything but you, you make it so difficult, hyung." Jaewon's eyebrows furrowed as Hayi wondered where he was going with this. "I really don't know whether to hate you or like you anymore...it's like I should hate you and I do, but then we just chill and hang out and everything's good."

"But then you just had to bring up the topic of this shorty right here and how she's so cute and blah blah blah," Hayi narrowed her eyes. She didn't know if she should feel offended or not. Hanbin always have a habit of talking ridiculous things when he's drunk. "I don't get your point, Hanbin," Jaewon simply said.

Hanbin clenched his fist and knocked the table, as if furious that he didn't get what he was saying. "I'm saying that can you not make me jealous?" Hayi's eyes widened as Jaewon rubbed his eyes to once again confirm if it really was Hanbin in front of him. Hanbin laughed suddenly, making Hayi worry of what he was about to say because she was starting to get the feel of where this was going. "Jealous? Jealous? Yeah...That was it! I'm jealous," Hanbin slurred.

"Hanbin's very drunk now, he has no idea what he's saying," Hayi blurted as she got up and tried to stop the latter from taking another shot of soju down his throat. "We should get going."

Jaewon just nodded as if he was willing to play along with whatever scenario this was. "LEE HAYI!" Hanbin growled as he abruptly cupped her face close to him. "Why are you always making me so...so out of control?" Hayi paused. Her heart was beating madly and she really wanted to swat his hands away but she couldn't. It was as if someone had out all the energy in her until she was now rendered motionless.

"Come on, let's go," Jaewon forced Hanbin's flailing arm onto him which knocked some sense into her. She did the same and noticed that Jaewon had already left a few bills out to pay. She also realized that she practically zoned out earlier because of a drunken Hanbin.

Throughout the whole journey back to iKon's dorm, Jaewon didn't say a thing. Maybe he was too tired to catch on or maybe he didn't even give a second thought and just assumed Hanbin was talking nonsense in his drunken state. Not many people knew of the younger's drinking habit but Jaewon was one of the few people that Hanbin has always asked to have alcohol with. And so, he was used to this.

But maybe that was some stupid, logical reasoning that Hayi wanted to believe. She had no idea what was running through his mind now.

"We're here," they got out of the elevator with Hanbin already on Jaewon's back. Apparently, he was being too noisy with his hollerings and shouts that it was making it harder to carry him. Jaewon offered it first and even though Hayi was sorry enough to not let the latter climb onto his back, she knew it was the only way to get this drunkard home.

Jaewon let Hanbin down so that he leaned towards Hayi as she pressed the doorbell. "How many times have you been here?" Jaewon asked, perking Hayi's ears. She was alerted even if this question was purely out of curiosity. "A few," she gave away cautiously.

Thankfully, Jaewon just nodded, again.

"I'll get going then," he announced. "I'm sure s can deal with him."

"Okay, sorry for tonight, Jaewon oppa."

He shook it off and bid her goodbye. However, after just a few steps, he stopped again. "Hey, Hayi?" he shouted. She turned to the side and found the elder with a smirk plastered on his face. "Take care of Hanbin, aite?"

And with just that, Jaewon walked away while waving goodbye with his back facing her.

Hayi was left to think of the meaning of those words. Does he know? Or is it just to be taken theoretically? Maybe it means take care of him tonight?

"Noona!" Junhoe exclaimed, breaking the train of thoughts she had. That had to wait for later. "Hurry! This guy is seriously heavy," she complained as Junhoe came and moved Hanbin's weight onto him. Donghyuk and Yunhyeong came too after they had barely manage to get Hanbin to inside of the apartment. After successfully putting the leader to bed, Junhoe came out with a confused expression. "Did you guys fight or something?"

With a very heavy sigh, she said, "Don't even ask."

a/n: hanbin trying be cool but failed miserably xD I was going to make him hate Jaewon but then...

so yes, hanbin's internal conflict of choosing jaewon or hayi lol. i watch smtm5 now to support one hehe so if go support him too if u want. and don't forget Hi TV every tuesday on v app starting next week! the next chapter's an epilogue for this one. go go go!