Chapter four: You have always been by me ( شما همواره با من بوده است  )

    Baekhyun closed his eyes and began singing as his fingers played the piano keys knowingly. He unconsciously shed some tears as he began singing thinking of Chanyeol. It has been almost a month since he last saw Chanyeol in the hospital. The other always walked away from him and never approached him, neither at school nor work. Yidoh even started paying more attention to him which made it harder for Baekhyun to be alone.

    Fortunately, today was one of those lucky, rare moments where Baekhyun got to be alone and think about everything that has happened. He was able to relax and think twice about all the decisions he has made that are coming back to haunt him. Yidoh was the sole reason for his constant worrying and he knew he had to do something. Thoughts ran through his mind constantly and he just wanted it all to stop. He wanted to go home and see Baekhyun and Taehyung again. Nothing else could compare to his two brother’s love. Well, maybe Chanyeol could-no. No, Chanyeol was... What was Chanyeol to him? Well that was something completely different. Now he had to focus on Yidoh, for he knew that Yidoh was not the man he once knew, and he wants nothing more than to be free.

    Baekhyun couldn’t help but pace around and take a few breaths as he glanced at his watch repetitively. It was Saturday morning and Baekhyun had invited Yidoh to lunch, surprising both his boyfriend and himself. It had been a while since the two have went out together and Yidoh thought nothing of it, more than a simple dinner. Baekhyun, however, had other conflicting thoughts for this date. He waited nervously outside his house and felt awful when the familiar blue ferrari pulled up onto his driveway.

“Hey,” Yidoh greeted him warmly with a smile and Baekhyun smiled back as he got in.

“What did you wanna do?”

“Let’s go get something to eat,” Baekhyun said, a bit too quickly, and Yidoh nodded driving off. Baekhyun fidgeted with his hands nervously as he made small conversation with his boyfriend. Baekhyun was beyond startled that Yidoh brought him to a small, non-exclusive diner, which was beyond rare. He got out and closed his eyes as the gust of wind blew against his bare skin. He rubbed his hands together and started for the door missing Yidoh’s gesture of offering his coat. Yidoh just coughed it off and put his coat back on before following after Baekhyun.

“Yidoh.”

“Hmm?”

“You love me right?” Baekhyun asked breaking the silence. After eating, they had wandered off and discovered a small hill nearby. They climbed up the hillside and sat beside some trees, overlooking the small town beyond. Yidoh didn’t answer and Baekhyun could feel the pain inside his chest. “Why?” The stinging feeling now began to come more clearly.

“Why what?” Baekhyun asked feeling the pain increasing.

“Why? Why do you wonder such a thing?” Yidoh questioned. Another stab. Baekhyun looked up at the other and felt a tear slide down his cheek. “Can’t I wonder?” Baekhyun retorted keeping his cool.

“I...”

“I think we should break up,”

Youngjae felt a loss of breath as he opened his eyes to the sight of Rui creepily smiling in front of him. The other did not utter a word as his gaze lingered on Youngjae, who held himself back from shaking in fear. Rui stayed quiet for a while watching Youngjae’s reaction before he chuckled. Youngjae flinched at the sound and Rui froze momentarily in response. Youngjae closed his eyes in slight fear and Rui looked upon him with an expression of shock and sadness.

“Why do you refuse to look at me?” Rui spoke so quietly that had the room not been silent, Youngjae would never have heard him. Youngjae opened his eyes slowly and looked up at Rui in confusion. “Why? Why do you look at me with fear? How are you able to look at me like that when not too long ago you looked at me with love?”

“You are no different.”  

“Wrong! I never stopped loving you!” Rui was shaking at this point as he stood in front of Youngjae. He felt as if his body and mind were losing control, and Rui calmed himself down as he knelt in front of his former lover slowly. Rui’s eyes were bloodshot red, something that occurred when he was angry, Youngjae remembered.

“I... I never stopped loving you. I, God, what am I even suppose to do. Will anything I say make you hate me less? I was just in the wrong situation, but I swear to you that I never killed your parents. I tried to save them, I really did.” Youngjae closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths before he opened his eyes. He wanted to erase the scarring images of his past and yet he hated being the cause for Rui’s pain. He thought about his past and present, and knew what he had to do.

“Baekhyun. Baekhyun? Mr. Byun. Has anyone seen Mr. Byun?” Chanyeol looked up from his desk to see the homeroom teacher glancing around the classroom. “None of you have contact with Baekhyun?” No one in the class answered and the teacher shook his head while continuing with the attendance. Chanyeol found himself staring at Baekhyun’s empty desk multiple times. Once he even caught Yidoh glancing at the desk and immediately looking away upon meeting Chanyeol’s gaze. Chanyeol raised his eyebrows in confusion and decided it would be best to visit Baekhyun’s dorm.

    Chanyeol was out of the school building the second the last bell rang. Chanyeol started his motorcycle and drove off to Baekhyun’s apartment complex. He remembered seeing Baekhyun’s info uon submitting his application for work. He parked his motorcycle before walking towards the building. He decided to try his best and find Baekhyun, even if he has to knock on every door. And that is exactly what he ended up doing, knocking on every door all three floors. Chanyeol sighed heading down the steps and making his way out the front door. He sat outside the building and sighed thinking of Baekhyun. He was beyond concerned for the other, and even though Baekhyun hated him, he wanted to protect the man he loves.

“Chanyeol? Chanyeol. Yeol.” Chanyeol stirred slightly and opened his eyes noticing the dim sky view. Chanyeol turned and immediately stood upon seeing Baekhyun glancing at him from the side. Baekhyun opened his mouth to question the other, but Chanyeol did not let him finish as he reached forward and hugged the other tightly.

“Chanyeol, w-”

“God, I missed you,” Chanyeol pulled back from the hug and stared into Baekhyun’s eyes caressing the other;s cheeks softly. Baekhyun looked up at him shocked as he felt a mixture of confusions, happiness and more.

“I missed you too,” Baekhyun spoke up eventually after a while of silence. Baekhyun invited the other inside and now they sat in the living room drinking some caramel tea. Chanyeol looked up from his cup and smiled softly. Chanyeol stood up and moved closer, sitting besides Baekhyun, who blushed at the close proximity.

“I was really worried about you. More than you can imagine,” Chanyeol whispered feeling Baekhyun’s forehead for any signs of a fever. He could not risk Baekhyun getting ill on his hands, never again could he experience something like his past.

    Daehyun tracked the location to an abandoned farm out in the countryside. He parked his car and looked around to see no one. One other car was parked to the side of the barn, and Daehyun slowly made his way towards it. Daehyun circled the barn checking for anything else out of the unusual. Finally he made his way back to the front and took a deep breath. He advanced towards the door and kicked it open. “Youngjae! Youngjae! Are-” Daehyun froze mid-sentence upon the sight that raveled before him. Youngjae looked up upon hearing his name and froze seeing him.

“Dae... Daehyun,” Youngjae called finally regaining his breath. Daehyun stepped back in shock and his own confusion. “I apologize for interrupting. I thought you had been taken against your own will,” Daehyun apologized and walked outside. Youngjae stood up and ran outside, rushing after Daehyun. “Wait! Please let me explain.”

“There is nothing to explain,” Daehyun cut the other off looking up at him with the familiar painful cold expression. Youngjae hated the sight and it felt worse knowing he was the cause.

“No you do not understand, I, well, I y-”

“You can not even give me a proper explanation and you do not need to, nor do I deserve one. We only have a business relationship. It does not concern me if you choose to be with another man, as well as we continue our deal.” Youngjae looked at Daehyun with a pained expression trying to control his inner emotions. He could feel the tears b his eyelids as everything else in his body was shattering. “That is all? After all that we have been through, all you  care about is your deal?” Daehyun stood still not knowing how to react to such a question. He was not quite sure himself at the matter. “I see. I am sorry to have wasted your precious time and to miss your party. I know how important it was to you. “ Youngjae waited for Daehyun to speak, but when the latter stayed in silence, Youngjae began walking off. Daehyun snapped out of his trance and reached forward pulling the other back towards his chest. He wrapped his arms around Youngjae and rested his head on the other’s shoulder. “I care about you! I, Jung Daehyun, care about you, Yoo Youngjae, more than I have ever cared about anyone. So, please do not walk away and stay with me. It may be hard, but I promise I can care for you well. “ Youngjae closed his eyes enjoying the feeling of being secured in Daehyun’s arms. Youngjae opened his eyes to see Rui standing in front of him, gazing at him with what he assumed to be a nervous face. Youngjae sighed, he knew he had to make a decision and he knew who he wanted to be with.