Namjoon returned from my kitchen one day, laden down with snacks and freestyle rapping to me in Korean. I didn’t understand a single word except “saranghae,” and when I pointed it out, he turned a fiery red color.

“What are you saying? Huh?” I teased, enjoying the sight of his flushed cheeks and messy blonde hair. He shuffled his fingers through it, mumbling words I couldn’t understand.

I laughed at him. “What’d you say, baby, huh?”

“I said I love you, you little snotch.” He spat, tossing the snacks down on the couch next to me. “And that I was excited to be eating snacks with you on the couch and watching this here Netflix movie.”

“Yeah? Was that all?” I stole a handful of Doritos from his bag and he pretended to bite my fingers.

“Yeah. And that I want to see you .” Namjoon casually dropped a bomb into our conversation.

“Not today, . Not today.” I batted away his confession easily, used to hearing it by now.

“Yeah, I figured. That’s why I said it in Korean and not in English, you monolingual little shortie.” He rested his arm on top of my head, obnoxiously taller than me even while sitting down.

 

We watched the movie in between kissing and eating.

“You wanna go to a party?” Namjoon interrupted a particularly steamy kiss, his chest heaving.

“Yeah, sure.” I agreed, fully in the mood to agree to anything that came out of those thick lips.

“Suga will be there and Jimin, too. Some of their friends. It’s like an underground party, ya know? You’ll get to meet a lot of cool guys, but I’m gonna leave you with a few hickeys so you don’t forget you’re mine and I don’t ing share.” He said in a low voice, tilting my head back so he could on my neck.

“Okay.” I sighed softly. “Whatever you say.”

“Bring Jane.”

“Mmhmm.” I hummed, distracted by the way his hand slipped under my shirt.

“I’m gonna be rapping for a bit. You can’t laugh this time, you little .”

“You were ing corny as hell, Joonie. Not at all zaddy material.” I laughed, then broke off as he kissed the corner of my mouth.

“I’m always daddy material. Don’t forget your nickname for me.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“Rap Daddy is a secret nickname and a privilege. You gotta rap well for me to call you that.”

“Mmm, I’ll never forget the time you heard me rap at an underground thing and Jane had to stop you from ripping your shirt off. That was y, honestly.”

“Shut…the up.” I muttered angrily, super embarrassed. “You lil’ .”

“Be nice to me.” Namjoon cooed. “You love me.”

 

“Jimin’s in a dance competition tonight.” Jane informed me hours later as we stepped into the venue. “It’s not just an underground party. Probably is to Namjoon, since he’s just there for fun.”

I ignored her and scanned through the crush of people, looking for my boyfriend. He stood next to Suga and Jimin, who looked hella fine in Timberlands, a tight-fitting pair of sweatpants, and a Stussy tank top. I glanced over at Jane, who was staring at him, hearts shooting out of her eyes.

“Go say hi.” I nudged her. Her face immediately dropped into a scowl.

“I can’t. Says my kisses are gonna distract him.”

I laughed at her sour expression and dragged her over to the group. Jimin and Jane greeted each other rather sullenly, but I couldn’t help but notice how their eyes raked over each other’s bodies. Distracted, indeed.

Namjoon pulled me into his side and bit my ear. I pushed him away, a little creeped out by the strange show of affection.

When I spotted the handsome face next to Suga, I suddenly realized why.

“Hi.” A soft, gentle voice greeted me. He held out a hand and I took it in a daze. What kind of angel…

“Hi.” I returned rather stupidly. Namjoon sighed in annoyance next to me.

“I’m Kai.” The angel introduced himself.

“Kai.” I repeated, staring at him. He met my gaze for a few moments, then extricated his hand and laughed a little awkwardly.

“What’s your name, sweetheart?”

“Mine.” Namjoon answered, slinging an arm around my shoulders. I blinked, then shrugged him off, returning to a somewhat normal state.

“Diane, actually.” I shot Kai what I hoped was a winsome smile. He smiled back and I felt my heart melt. “Are you a rapper, too?”

“Dancer. Jimin’s competition.” He scratched the back of his neck, shooting Jimin an awkward glance. Jimin just smiled at him.

“Ah, Diane’s lost all eyes for me now that Kai’s here.” Suga lamented. “Your crush on me has faded, I see.”

“Yeah.” I agreed immediately. “You’re still my boo, though. Just as soon as you get on stage and start rapping, I’ll be a little puddle of goo right here on this floor.”

Everyone laughed except Namjoon and Kai, who shot me an interested glance.

“You guys dating?” He asked, looking between me and Suga.

“Yeah.” Suga answered, cackling and throwing an arm around me. “Diane’s my girlfriend.”

“Oh, okay.” Kai nodded. I looked around for Namjoon, but he’d disappeared into the crowd. I wondered vaguely if he was upset by my obvious attraction to Kai.

“You’re in trouble.” Suga whispered in my ear, confirming my fears. “Rap Daddy doesn’t like competition.”

I flushed scarlet. “He ing told you about that nickname?!”

He laughed and patted my head. “Good luck, baby girl. You’re gonna need it.”

Suga, Jimin, and Jane left, leaving me standing there with Kai.

 

Honestly, I couldn’t stop staring at him. He was incredibly good looking.

“Kai’s a unique name.” I said stupidly. People probably told him that all of the time.

“It’s my stage name.” He smiled. “My real name’s Jongin. Kim Jongin.”

I nodded. “It’s a nice stage name, at least. Unlike Rapmonster.” I rolled my eyes. Of course my boyfriend would have the stupidest stage name ever to exist.

“Oh, he’s good, though! Yeah, I really like his stuff.” Kai said enthusiastically. “He’s smart, too. Heard he’s like, trilingual.”

“He only knows a little Japanese, but he likes to brag about it.” I laughed. “So, I don’t know if he really qualifies as trilingual.”

“You know him?” Kai looked at me with interest. “I’m a fan and I heard he was gonna be here tonight, but I haven’t seen him yet.”

“Oh, yeah. I know him.” I grinned to myself. Boy, did I know him.

“Can you introduce me?” He asked eagerly, puppy dog eyes scanning my face for approval.

“Uh…you know, he was here before. Blonde mohawk, bad attitude.”

“What? That was Rapmonster?” Kai sounded a bit awed. “He looks different. Like, really different. I didn’t recognize him without his sunglasses and dark hair.”

I laughed. “Yeah, his blonde mohawk is new. And the sunglasses covered up his pretty eyes, so we all kind of forced him to take them off. Suga especially. He hated Namjoon’s sunglasses.”

Kai’s face clouded. “Oh, Rapmonster’s friends with your boyfriend, right? Suga? That’s how you know him.”

“Suga’s not my boyfriend.”

“Oh.”

 

We stared at each other for a while. I felt like we were having a moment. Were we having a moment, or did Kai just not know what to say?

“I gotta go warm up.” Kai told me, stepping a bit closer so I could hear him over the crowd of people. “Can I get your number so we can meet up afterwards? I really wanna meet Rapmonster, if you don’t mind.”

“Sure.” I found myself agreeing. A beautiful angel was asking for my number? I wasn’t about to say no.

I felt a pair of eyes on me and looked up at the stage to see Namjoon watching me, a formidable expression on his face as Kai’s fingers lingeringly brushed mine when I handed him my phone.

I quickly looked away, guilt pinpricking my heart.

 

The freestyle portion of the evening was supposed to follow the dance competition. I looked forward to Namjoon’s rapping; sometimes he could be excellent. I felt like tonight would be one of those nights. I’d heard him practicing in the bathroom before he left.

However, I was kind of blindsided by the dancing. Jimin had moves; I knew this well. For one thing, Jane wouldn’t shut up about it, and for another, I’d seen him trying to teach Namjoon. Jimin looked hella y dancing, and Namjoon…well, Namjoon kind of just made me cringe. He wasn’t bad when he knew the choreography, but his freestyle dancing was awful. Thank God he could rap, otherwise I might have broken up with him. Was that shallow? Possibly. I probably wouldn’t have actually broken up with him, but he would never get laid in a million years.

But Kai…Kai was a whole other ball game. I loved Jimin’s style of dance, but Kai looked like a ing angel. A precise, lean, sensuous angel. Could angels even be sensuous? I didn’t know, but I sure as hell didn’t care. I just stared at him, jaw slightly slack. I think I muttered “” a few times, but I couldn’t be sure.

Kai was an excellent dancer.

 

Jimin won, however, but I felt that he had won it fairly. He and Jane started making out as soon as he received his trophy, his shirt party torn and hanging off his body. Jane should just marry him and have all of his attractive babies. I knew she wanted to.

I awkwardly stood next to them, wondering if they would stop kissing each other anytime soon. Maybe we could hold a normal conversation and I could stop feeling like a very uncomfortable third wheel. Maybe, but not likely. Jimin looked like he would eat her face off if she let him. Gross.

 

I looked to my left and met eyes with Kai, who looked all sweaty and lean and gorgeous. He sidled over to me, wiping a towel across his sweaty face, which should have been disgusting to me, but was far from it.

“Hi, Diane. You watch the performance?” A little half-smile decorated his face.

I swallowed nervously. An attractive man was still an attractive man, whether or not I had a boyfriend.

“Yeah. You dance, uh, really well.” I mumbled.

“It’s nothing.” His smiled widened. “Rapmonster should be on soon, right?”

“Yeah, any minute now.” I shifted from foot to foot, glancing uneasily from the stage to Kai.

“How do you know him?” Kai asked curiously. “He’s from New York originally. I didn’t think a lot of Philly people would know him, but he moved here recently. Have you been a fan for a while?”

“We met at a Jay Park concert in New York. I didn’t know he was a rapper until later. Just thought he was a Jay Park fan like me.” I smiled at the memory. ing Namjoon singing explicit lyrics at me for our first meeting. If only I realized what kind of nastiness I was signing up for.

 

A familiar sounding throat-clearing into a microphone caught my attention. I looked up to see Namjoon’s eyes boring angrily into my own.

“Hey, I’m Rapmonster. I’ll be performing in a minute, but first I wanna give a shout-out to my boy Jimin for winning that dance competition. You’re y, but I can’t say anything more or else my girlfriend will get jealous.”

“Oh, I didn’t know he had a girlfriend.” Kai said in mild surprise. “I wonder if that’s why he moved here.”

I didn’t say anything, too caught up in Namjoon’s gaze to answer. , he looked so angry.

“Is he glaring at you?” Kai whispered, so closely that his lips were brushing my ear. It was loud in the venue; of course he needed to get that close so I could hear him. The tingles down my spine had nothing to do with his lips making contact with my ear. Nothing at all.

“Yeah, he is.” I gulped and Kai laughed.

“Why? Does he think you and Suga are dating?” He s an arm around my waist. I squeaked and jumped back from him.

“Holy !” Namjoon exclaimed into the microphone. My head whipped around to face him, a guilty look on my face. “Diane, you better ing step back from that pretty boy. That’s not cool, man, not ing cool at all.”

All heads turned to stare at me in my moment of burning, red-faced shame.

Namjoon chuckled darkly into the mic. “Ah, now I’ve embarrassed you. Good, maybe you won’t flirt with other guys now.”

A couple of fangirls whispered behind their hands, shooting me evil looks.

“Rapmon, I love you! I won’t flirt with other guys!” A desperate fan shouted to him.

“I don’t mind if you flirt with other guys, sweetheart. But my girlfriend’s not allowed to.” He winked at me, dimples appearing at the side of his face.

Kai chuckled beside me. “He’s your boyfriend, huh?”

“Yeah.” I muttered. “The bastard.”

 

Namjoon’s performance started and he virtually ignored me. I couldn’t help feeling hurt, but I supposed, I understood. I would have been pissed if he was hanging around a girl half as pretty as Kai.

Towards the end of Namjoon’s part, Kai started a conversation with me again. I eyed him warily, worried that Namjoon would put me on blast again in front of all his fangirls and fanboys.

“Too bad you’re dating him.” Kai remarked casually as he leaned closer to me, voice raised in an effort to be heard.

“Why’s that?” I asked despondently, tucking my hair back into my braid. “I love him.”

“’Cause you’re cute.” He rested his head against mine, sweaty temple against my curls.

“I’m not cute.” I squeaked in response to the subtle press of his cheek against my ear.

Kai laughed, a low chuckle that made my spine tingle.

 

In the background, I could hear the beginning of Cypher PT. 3 and Namjoon’s dead y rapping. I loved this track, had listened to it over and over when Namjoon had first played it for me. He had slid his headphones over my ears and rested his head in my lap, smiling shyly at me as my eyes widened and I bobbed my head along to the beat. His lyrics were clever and his style sharp: I liked this song better than his others and he could tell.

“It’s good.” I had told him, watching with pleasure as his face split into a pleased grin. “You sound good.”

“You like it?” I remembered how his dimple had deepened, making him look absolutely shy and adorable and perfect.

“I love it.” I’d answered honestly. Namjoon’s long fingers had reached up to my cheek, a soft expression in his eyes.

“I love you.” He had whispered.

 

It was the first time he told me.

 

And now, an incredibly handsome stranger had his face pressed up against mine as my boyfriend spit the lyrics that I’d loved. I looked up and met his eyes. He stared at me for a drawn-out moment, then shifted his gaze away, studiously avoiding my eyes.

“Yeah, it’s too bad you’re dating him.” Kai continued carelessly. “You’re cute, and he’s got a reputation.”

“What kind of reputation?” I asked distractedly. My eyes were fixed on the stage, following every movement of Namjoon’s.

Kai leaned away and shrugged, hair falling into his face. He pushed it back and I in a breath. I loved my boyfriend, truly and sincerely, but Kai was gorgeous.

“He’s a playboy, right? Always singing about taking girls’ ities. Didn’t you hear those rumors about him and Jennie Kim from YG?”

I bristled. “He’s never even met her. He’s from New York, doesn’t even go Korea that often.”

Kai shrugged once more, loose fitting jean jacket slipping from one shoulder. “I don’t know. There were a few articles published. People saw them holding hands and kissing.”

“Maybe it was before we started dating. We haven’t been together for that long.” I racked my brain trying to think of when Namjoon had last gone to Korea. It was before we started dating, he’d told me about it. “He’s not a real playboy. A lot of talk and no action.”

He laughed and patted my head. “Whatever you say, sweetheart. Call me if you guys ever break up.”

My gaze flitted to Namjoon as Kai swiftly leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. Cypher PT. 3 ended at that moment and Namjoon locked eyes with me, gaze hard as he tossed his mic to the floor and exited.

 

I waited anxiously out in the parking lot next to his car while he hung out backstage. I knew he’d be mad; hell, if I were in his position I’d be furious. We’d be over in a heartbeat.

But I loved Namjoon. I just got a little…swept away by Kai. It wasn’t real. I didn’t want to kiss Kai or anything. He was just incredibly beautiful and I lost myself a little bit.

I leaned against Namjoon’s bright yellow convertible, thinking about crying, when he suddenly appeared in front of me. His hair lay flat across his forehead, since he had sweated out all the product holding it in place. Automatically, I reached out to run my fingers through it, but Namjoon caught my wrist in his grasp and stopped me.

His eyes found mine and a long moment of silence passed between us. His grip was tight and his fingers were warm against my skin. I shivered in the late summer breeze, but he didn’t offer me his jacket like normal. In fact, his gaze never left mine. We were engaged in a silent, uncomfortable staring contest.

I felt scolded, like a small child. Scolded and ashamed. I dropped my eyes and Namjoon sighed.

“Get in the car.” He commanded in a flat, emotionless voice.

“Sor-” I began, but he cut me off.

“Don’t ing talk to me right now.” He dropped my wrist and avoided my eyes. “Just get in the goddamn car.”

 

On the way home, Namjoon’s fingers gripped the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned white. My normally goofy boyfriend wouldn’t even look at me, but I didn’t blame him.

He parked on the street outside of his apartment building. I got out of the car reluctantly, a little bewildered as to why he wouldn’t drop me off at my place. He was mad at me, that was plain to see, but did he want to hang out at his place? Or was he abandoning me to walk the ten blocks to my place in the dark?

“Come on.” Namjoon threw over his shoulder, realizing that I hadn’t followed him.

I trailed behind nervously, kicking rocks out of my way as a stony silence settled between us once more.

 

I followed him all the way into his bedroom, where he shuffled through his drawers and pulled out pajamas.

“Change into these.” He ordered, tossing them at me. I caught them and went to leave for the bathroom. Namjoon called me back. “Diane.”

I turned towards him. “Yeah?”

“Don’t even think about taking a bath in my bathtub tonight. Change into those clothes and get your back in here as quickly as possible.”

I bristled at his commanding attitude and opened my mouth to protest, but once glance at his expression made me change my mind.

 

When I came back out, Namjoon was stretched out lazily on his bed, scrolling through his phone and clad only in a pair of boxers. I widened my eyes at the sight; I’d never seen him with so little clothes on.

He glanced up at me as I lingered in the doorway, unsure of what to do. His undershirt hung loosely on me and the boxer briefs he’d given me to sleep in were tight and covered in little ducks.

“Come here.” Namjoon bossed, patting the space next to him.

I obeyed, despite my confusion.

As soon as I sat down, Namjoon rested his head in my lap and curled his bare, toned arms around my waist. I squeaked in shock, but he only held me tighter.

“You love me, right?” He whispered into my lap, sounding surprisingly vulnerable.

“Yeah.” I ran my hands through his hair, abruptly on the verge of tears. “I love you a lot, Joonie.”

“You’re mine, right?” He continued, slipping his hand under my shirt to caress the small of my back. “Only mine?”

“Yeah.” I agreed, bending over him to kiss his hair. “I’m yours.”