After B.A.P returned from their hiatus, everyone is full of excitement and happiness to be back on the stage. Well almost everyone, Himchan is not that happy like he thought he would be. 

During their hiatus, a lot of things had been going through Himchan's mind. From missing being on stage with his beloved members to his own feeling towards a certain clueless leader. Yeah, after all this time being Yongguk's good friend, Kim Himchan finally realized that he wanted their relationship to be more than friend. Of course, that was not easy for Himchan to accept his own feeling at first. But he soon realized that he still didn't like men, he just liked Bang Yongguk. Bang Yongguk was the only exception in his life, the only person that truly understood and accepted him. And that made Yongguk's exsistance far more important than anyone else in Himchan's life. That's why Himchan would not let his feeling ruin their friendship. At least, by being Yongguk's friend, he could officially stand by his side. When B.A.P was decided that they will be having their comeback, all of them were happy of the news. Himchan was the most excited since he could finally spend time with Yongguk, of course with their dongsaeng too. He hadn't seen the stoic man for like almost 2 years now since the man was busy travelling and spent most of his time in his studio. Himchan kept imagining how great it would be for them to be back. But the reality hit him really hard in the face.

Everyone had changed in a good way. They all improved themselves. Daehyun focused on improving his voice and singging skills during their hiatus. Now he is even more amazing than before. Himchan has to admit that the boy's singging voice never ceases to amaze him. Youngjae with his successful diet is now even more attractive and handsome than before. Of couse, his singing voice is definitely not losing to Daehyun. If you ask Himchan who changes the most, he would definitely say Jongup. The boy is not the little shy boy anymore. He is far more manly and y. Despite of the fact that he still not that expressive in front of people, Jongup is definitely now the most attractive guy of B.A.P. ( well after Yongguk in Himchan's mind ). As for our little manaek, Zelo is not little anymore. He is now the tallest member but still the cutest to Himchan. He tries to be more manly and work out during their hiatus but compares to his hyung, he is still a big kid. Last but not least, Yongguk has not changed much. The oldest hyung is still the same but a little bit thinner than before. His gummy smile still brings warmth to people around him. Most of the time, he is stoic and quiet but from time to time, he would still show that charming smile of his. Himchan still questions himself from time to time why he like Yongguk since he was so sure that he will never like men. What makes Yongguk more special than others? Himchan can only say that itself is a big mystery. For Himchan, he felt that himself hasn't changed that much, except for his weight. So what he put on a little bit weight during their hiatus? His family was happy since it made him look so much more healthy and happier than before. Well s still about his failing diet. But truthfully the dongsaengs are happy that their second oldest hyung is so much healthier now. Himchan doesn't really care what others say about him. He just simply accepts their teasing since he knows they are just joking. But Himchan cares a lot if Yongguk thinks so as well. However, the man never teases Himchan or says anything about it. Why? Because he is too busy staying in the studiio and helping with the production of their comeback album. That's right ever since the news of B.A.P will get back together, Himchan only sees Yongguk once during the gather to discuss about their album. 

As the company wants to make up to the group, they decide to let the album production will be taking care by the members. So everyone is busy to prepare for their comeback. Jongup and Zelo are in chagre of creating the choreography. Yongguk is in charge of producing music and writing the rap parts with Zelo. As for Himchan, Youngjae, Daehyun and Jongup, they all take part in writing the lyrics for their album.

Himchan feels helpless since he can't really help much with the album producing. Himchan has always been good at instruments but not writing lyrics. So besides cooking and looking after the members, he can't really do much. Even their two youngest members are working hard everyday. Himchan feels sorry and tries even harder. But slowly inside him, there is this empty feeling starting to form, to break him down from inside. 

" Daehyun, do you need anything? Are you hungry? What do you want to eat?" - Himchan sincerely asks his dongsaeng.

" Himchan hyung, you are bothering me. I'm busy with the lyrics right now. Youngjae has been nagging me all day for not be able to write anything decent. I need space." - Daehyun answers while shooing Himchan away.

" Fine, don't come to find me if you're hungry, studip Daehyun." - Himchan leaves the boy alone and goes to find their two youngest members.

~ In the practice room ~

Jongup and Zelo are discussing with their dancer hyungs about the video of choreography they received from abroad. They are trying out moves and putting them together. Himchan quietly approaches them with energy drinks in his hand.

" Guys, why don't you take a break? I brings some energy drinks."

" Thanks, Himchan hyung. Can you leave it over there? We wants to try out this moves to see how it fits in our choreography." - Jongup quickly replies while beckoning Zelo to try out the moves again.

Himchan quietly leaves the practice room without disturbing the members. He walks to Yongguk's studio, wondering if it is a good idea to go. But before he realizes, Himchan has reached his destination. Inside the studio, Yongguk is discussing about the singging part with another producer and Youngjae. It seems like they are very busy. Himchan stands still outside of the studio. He places his hand on the glass door, hoping that Yongguk would turn his way and tell him to come in. Why does Himchan feel even further when Yongguk is just right in front of him? He lets out a small sigh and quietly leave the place and continues to wander around their practice room.

Himchan is carving for attention from s, but everyone is busy. So he can only sit there in the corner, asking himself what he can do for them.

"What should I do? I'm so useless. Maybe I should join Daehyun and try to write the lyrics again." - Himchan silently thinks as he holds his head down.

A shadow looms over Himchan, gently puts a hand on Himchan's shoulder.

" What are you doing Himchan? Are you ok?" - A gentle and low voice asking him.

Himchan quickly lifts up his head to see Yongguk is having a little frown on his face. He shakes his head and smiles to reassure the eldest.

" I'm fine, Bbang. Just wondering what I should do to help. How is the album going?"

" Yeah, it's fine. Going more smoothly than I thought. If you're bored, help out Daehyun. The poor guy is struggling with the lyrics and Youngjae's nagging." - Yongguk chuckles as he sits down beside Himchan.

" Ha ha , I already heard it from Daehyun." - Himchan replies while glancing at the man. " You should eat more, Bbang. You're getting thinner by day."

" I know but I'm always too tired to eat after getting out of the studio. But still it's good to be back with everyone." - Yongguk flashes his signature gummy smile to show how happy he is.

Himchan just simply smiles at the man as a reply. Himchan loves the small conversation with Yongguk every now and then. It makes him feel closer like the leader belongs to him only. 

" Oh well! I have to get back to the studio. Take care of the dongsaengs for me. Thanks, Himchan!" - Yongguk stands up and puts out a hand to pull Himchan up as well.

" I will try. You better eat something too, Bbang."

Himchan watches Yongguk goes back to the studio then leave to see the helpless face of his dongsaeng Daehyun, who is being tortured by Youngjae's nagging.

" Yah! Jung Daehyun, can you at least try to write something that would make sense? This song is for the BABYs you know." - Youngjae's frown deepens as he read Daehyun's lyrics.

" Oh come on! I'm doing my best here, you know. At least stay and help me will you, Youngjae?" - Daehyun takes back his lyrics paper and continues to scribble.

" Need my help, Daehyun?" - Himchan offers.

" It's fine, hyung. We will manage. I told you, Daehyun, don't write it like that. Give me the pen!" - Youngjae replies while taking the pen away from Daehyun.

While the two bickering about the lyrics writing, Himchan just stands there, not knowing what else to do. Once again he is left out by s. Everyone is busy, except for him.

"Maybe I'm not needed here!" - A negative vibe starting to take over his head as he heads out of the practice room.

-To be continued-

Well, my first chapter :) I hope you guys enjoy it. I'm not that good at writing so reviews are extremly welcome.

Thank you for reading! Love you guys!