Maybe it was in fall, probably winter, who knows it always feels the same in the practice room. There is no window anyway. It feels hot, everything is nerve wrecking, people are stressed and the tension is at its peak. It's no surprise I never liked staying after our mandatory training classes. Don't misunderstand, it's not the training that I don't like, it's more its effect on people that I hate. The friends I was talking to just earlier at the break suddenly saw me as a competitor and worked hard to make sure I wouldn't be an obstacle to their dreams. This whole system made me sick and that's why I was always one of the first to leave. Nobody never asked me anything, nobody cared to know where I was when everyone else stayed at the company to memorize the new dance steps. Where is Sehun? He just left. Ah. And that was it.

I always chose loyalty over competition. You can also call it laziness, I won't even try to deny it. 

I have always been loyal to Jongin just like he has always been my friend. There was no competition between us. Jongin was one of the few who stayed true to themselves even in this new environment where one small mistake could crush all your dreams. He was better than me, he loved what he was doing and he was confident. There was no point in comparing us even if  it was our coachs' favorite habit. Loudly, at that. You could read passion in every of his moves and I eventually grew admiration for him over time. I was following him everywhere. Someone even called me Jongin's puppy but I didn't care: Jongin made me love dancing. He taught me how to put emotions in my dance, he showed me the way to passion and became my mentor.

Yes he had Taemin, and I knew he was there before me, but it was fine because I had Seulgi. When Jongin was busy playing with Taemin, I would go annoy her. It was funny because she never reacted the same way. The first time Jongin left me alone to practice, I went to the girls' dance room knowing they had time to individually practice and teased Seulgi for about 30 minutes. She had that habit of turning flush red when people instead of coming back with something mean to say. It was like poking a defenseless bear in hope that it might react someday. She never got mad at me even though I was a brat.

Sometimes, the three of us would hang out together or add a guest to our meetings. It could be Soojung, Johnny, sometimes Taeyong if he wasn't at school or even Bae Joohyun with a bit of luck (she never really liked to go out in all honesty). Even though the people we hung out with changed, there was always this one singular thing that never changed: Jongin and Seulgi in their bubble.  Although many people were there, they somehow gave us the impression that they were alone, together. I don't know if it's possible to explain it, but it was probably because of the vibe they had. You could tell that they were thinking of each other even apart. They were the usual duo. It was Jongin and Seulgi or it was Jongin thinking of Seulgi. They could be in the same room, far away from each other and still look like they were together somehow. It was maybe the little smiles they exchanged once in a while or the glances that always ended up in the same direction that gave us the hint. I know for sure that it was unintentional, which is why the other trainees liked to tease them about it. Talk about clueless bears.

Jongin had always been naturally calm, but he kinda changed around Seulgi. It was really subtle, only someone who had spent so much time with him like me or Taemin could see that. He was softer with Seulgi. And it wasn't because she was a girl or anything, it's because it was Seulgi and he had a soft side for her. He had a smile for her, he had a way of teaching steps to her, he had a different speaking tone with her, he had a delicate way of touching her. There was the Jongin everyone knew and there was a Jongin for Seulgi.

While observing all of this, I must admit that I got a bit jealous. Let's be honest, who wouldn't be. I was wondering what Seulgi did to have so much power over someone but now that I think about it, I was simply being childish. And it's not like it lasted forever anyway…

I remember this one particular time where I wanted to leave with Jongin to get ice cream because he was the only one who would accept to sacrifice his time and diet just to calm my cravings. This "particular time" was now what I can call a few months before our debut. A few months before the beginning of EXO.

 With the goal of absolutely getting that ice cream before going home, I restlessly wandered in the company looking for Jongin. Now that I think of it, it was pure luck. How come in the whole section reserved for the trainees, between the three floors I could have lost time and all those empty dance practice rooms… I fou