Chapter 06
From Me, To You
"Her past is a bit dark, you know." Sungyeol sighed quietly, lying his back beside Myungsoo’s. Sungyeol could catch the figure beside him bulging suddenly when he heard the girl's name.
He knew it, one of them certainly have the feeling for the other.
"She seems to have a normal life." Myungsoo commented, although he approved Sungyeol a little after hearing Suzy’s story this afternoon.
"She always thinks positive lately. Whether because it’s her style, or she does it to cover up her past. I don’t know, but it sounds sad."
"I asked you to tell me everything," Myungsoo glanced at Sungyeol, smiled slightly. "So keep going, my friend."
Sungyeol his smile and sighed. "She'll always take you away with subway, right? She never use a taxi, or bus, or car, right?"
"How'd you know?"
"That's the secret," Sungyeol muttered and smiled, Myungsoo could taste the bitterness on his lips. "She had a traffic accident when she was in junior high, and you know, she would be trauma with that."
Myungsoo snorted. "Look, almost everyone has experienced it and they’re fine now. She's exaggerated if she got traumatized and - "
"Because it was a big accidents and it brought her friend to death."
His body froze. His ears heard but it seemed he didn’t want to believe, but before he could say anything, Sungyeol continued.
"One of them died, another was paralyzed, and Suzy was the only one who suffered nothing." Sungyeol told, as if also submerged in the past. "Suzy went to her friend’s funeral, and her friend’s mother couldn’t accept the death of her daughter. She blamed Suzy, she - well, it's a bit rude - insulted her, cursed her, pulling her hair, and fortunately we hold her to slap and hit her.
"And a few weeks later, another friend - who has been paralyzed - moved out of Seoul, I forget where, but she chose to lose all contacts with all her friends - including Suzy. While in junior high, Suzy was a wallflower. She had no friends other than those two, and she soon felt lonely."
Sungyeol immediately ended to the story, "And since then, she's a little traumatized when driving a vehicle on the highway. She always avoided it, and continued to avoid it until she actually never use it in college. And in the end, it makes her forget what it's like driving a vehicle and she’s always afraid to get it."
"How did the accident happen?"
"I do not know clearly about it." Sungyeol shrugged. "There was a rumor that said there were seniors who bullied them, told them to go by car to the highway to buy something. You know, she was at level two at the time and only one who was quite able to drive. Then again I don’t know, about them and other seniors."
There was silence for a moment, when Myungsoo constantly tried to trust Sungyeol’s word. It's just hard to understand, to imagine, to make into reality.
"How can...? She’s only the girl next door, simple and seems..."
"Normal, Myungsoo?" Sungyeol added his word and sighed. "There are a lot of her past that she buries by herself, we’ll never even know everything."
That didn’t make sense to him, but somehow he believed it.
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"You’ll never know if you never try." Myungsoo tried to strengthen her.
Suzy seemed weaker than usual. Legs and hands shook as she sat behind Myungsoo, teeth chattering, and she felt dizzy for some reasons. Everything went spinning in her views.
"You can hug me if you want - "
And even before he finished speaking, she immediately hugged him tightly from behind. Her hands were gripping his shirt tightly, until he feared his shirt would tear. She buried her face into his back, occasionally hitting her head to it.
She didn’t actually want to do this, but he already forced her with many ways - even threatening. He threatened to enter her photo at his gallery soon, told Minyoung about her love life, and wouldn’t return her phone that he secretly stole.
"I'll turn on the engine." Myungsoo said.
She almost shrieked when she heard the engine sound and the motorcycle started to vibrate. She hugged Myungsoo, tighter and tighter and very closely.
"Hello, a human being needs oxygen here." He muttered to Suzy, but she didn’t respond to his words. He just rolled his eyes and was soon riding his motorcycle.
"Stop! Stop! Drop me now!" She almost jumped when the motorcycle started to move.
"Hey, hey! Don’t move like that! You’ll fall down!" He screamed and turned his head back for a glimpse.
With a beating heart that wasn’t right, she obeyed as usual and re-buried her face into his back. The only way that she wasn’t aware that he was riding a motorcycle at the time.
"Can we stop?" Suzy asked him after a while. She was a little calmer then, but she still couldn’t hide her fears.
Myungsoo grinned. "I'm a ride, I decide."
"Shoot." She grunted and sank her face again.
His motor stopped when there was a red light, and just because it she shouted with a reflex, making a loud sound "AAA!!!" and took the attention of everyone around them.
"Myungsoo! Why don’t you say if we’ll stop!" She scolded softly, but the tone was high.
He rolled his eyes. Great, he thought. "Can’t you shut up?"
"Let's see, who force me to sit here? Oh yes, it's you! Haha!"
"Whatever." Myungsoo didn’t really care to argue with her right now.
"One more turn and we get the office."
"Great, because I can’t wait to get my phone back."
There was a long pause after Suzy finished speaking. Different from previous silence, this time there wasn’t a good aura around them. But Myungsoo didn’t realize it, what he realized was that when her hand slowly took off his shirt and hid it behind his back, but he simply said nothing.
"We're here." Myungsoo uttered.
Without a sound, Suzy down and gave her hand to him.
"What? Oh, yes, your phone." He took her phone from his pocket and put it on her palm. "Here."
There was no 'thank you' that usually she said to him. She just nodded and went inside their building, leaving Myungsoo with his motorcycle.
"Suzy!" Finally Myungsoo shouted her name. "Are you angry?"
Suzy grunted loudly and wondered why this man was very insensitive. She didn’t say anything in the end, even no turning back. She just walked and walked and walked...
If she could, she wanted to punch him right in the face to force her.
Oh, and Sungyeol deserved to get one too.
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"Suzy! Do you go out with Myungsoo?"
Just when Minyoung catched Suzy got into office, she immediately approached her and asked several questions.
"Sorry, unni. I'm too lazy to answer it now," she just gave the older one a little smile and hurried to her desk, hiding behind her computer.
"Well," Jiyoung - the one that suddenly peeked out from nowhere - whispered Minyoung as they passed, "it means thing doesn’t go well today."
Minyoung just shrugged and went back to her desk.
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Suzy looked at her watch on her left wrist again - seventh times in three minutes, she checked - and sighed. She closed his eyes and rested her back on her chair, sometimes it worked to make her comfortable, sometimes it didn’t – just like today.
"It’s nine o'clock at night," Minyoung stood in front of Suzy’s desk, placing her coat over her arm, "you’d better go home, Suzy."
Suzy nodded vaguely. "Maybe soon. I'll take the last subway."
Minyoung held her anxiety and let it hurt herself. She wanted to ask and wanted to get a reasonable answer, but she was quite aware this wasn’t the perfect time. Suzy was never as quiet as this, she was too quiet, too calm, too much daydreaming. It wasn’t healthy, she knew.
And who know that this was caused by a man who had known her just for five days?
"Okay, I'll go, Kikwang is waiting outside," Minyoung put on her coat and run immediately. "See you tomorrow!"
She didn’t even answer, just watching Minyoung’s steps out of their office and walked toward the elevator.
She looked around, there weren’t many people anymore. Only a few who decided to work overtime and two office boys, cleaning the floor. No one spoke, or even whisper, only the faint sound of the radio rang in the air, a song that she even didn’t even know the title. Maybe stuffs about love, after all, almost all songs talked about it, she thought.
Suddenly countless thoughts crossed her mind. How could people so easily fall in love and she couldn’t. How did they know that the person in front of them were their soulmate. Why did they want to take all the risk for being together with others. How did they not love the person anymore. How and how and how, all filled her head, and all the answers forced her to not believe in love.
But she couldn’t, because she knew that love wasn’t forever be blurred and disappeared. As her love for her family, her parents love, her grandparents love, all of them lasted a long time even though she knew nothing lasted forever, actually. Everyone must accept the reality.
She sighed for the umpteenth time before deciding to turn off the computer and picking up. Going home maybe the best decision, she didn’t need to daydream here forever.
And this time she had to go home without Myungsoo.
It was odd, it seemed like she was already familiar with him for long time - she had been, but that when they were little and he had not amnesia. Like he made five days felt like a year. She already felt awkward when she had to go home without him, like she had to adapt an old habit again.
She felt lost? She wasn’t too sure, it was seven hours since she last saw him. This was normal, they usually not relate more than this, but she still felt uneasy.
She took his coat and staggered toward the elevator. She pressed a button and waited for it open. Sometimes she wished her life to look like some romantic movies, like when it opened and she saw her prince charming. But this was reality, and it was too long for her to escape, so she had to deal with it now.
Elevator opened - as she had hoped, it was empty - and she immediately entered, pressing ‘LG’ and wearing her coat.
...3, 2, 1. It opened again and she could see three peoples standing in front of her, waiting for her went out so that they could go in.
She walked in silence, only once waved and smiled at the security guard - Mr. Kang Hodong, her friend - and out of the building.
Cold, the first thing she felt while walking down the sidewalks.Even a thick coat and sweater couldn’t withstand winds in late night autumn like this. Her teeth chattered fast as her feet rubbing on the ground, while she put herself deeper into her coat. She just needed to pretend to feel warm in the middle of this before she arrived at the station in three blocks.
At least she survived. A few minutes later she arrived there and down the station stairs as fast as she could.
If only that hand wasn’t gripping her wrist.
"Bae Suzy."
That voice, one that was heavy and flat, Myungsoo’s. Instantly she could feel the electricity from his cold hand to her wrist which was coated by a thick sweater. She turned and saw him standing behind her.
"Hello?"
Suzy winced. "Hello isn’t the right word at this moment."
"You know I'm weird," Myungsoo tried to be friendly, but she already rejected him.
She tried to pull his hand from her wrist and hurried down the stairs. She didn’t expect Myungsoo would follow her, but she knew he would do that - so she wasn’t that surprised.
"Suzy. I want to talk to you."
"Tell me what you want." She responded with flat tone.
"Are you mad at me?"
The simple question hit her in the face. She bit her lip and rolled her eyes, turning to him. If eyes could kill, maybe he was going to end of his life now.
"You can’t hear me?" He misunderstood, he thought she couldn’t hear him. "Are. You. Mad. At me?"
Suzy just hissed, "Find out by yourself."
Subway doors opened and she rushed into, and he followed her footprints. She was sitting near the door, in between a woman and an old man, she had planned to thwart him to sit next to her.
But it didn’t matter to him. He didn’t flinch, he didn’t even stand up, he immediately squatted in front of her and smiled, as she held her breath and glared at him.
Nearly all the passengers in the subway saw him and his weird act - and Suzy, too. Luckily there wasn’t much people there tonight, she was a little lucky.
She bowed slightly and whispered to him, "You’ve forced me to ride a motorcycle and now this?! What exactly do you want?"
He just nodded. "Oh, so you're mad at me because of that? That means my prediction’s right..."
She hissed, "Stupid boy." and all he could do was laugh.
"Okay, okay. All I want to say is I'm sorry. Sorry for forcing you to do it, I mean it. I never think it would go easier for you, I was wrong and I know it. I just, well, how can I say? I just want you to forgive me and everything’s going back to normal again. What do you think?"
She couldn’t help herself except whisper to herself, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, Suzy. She forced her heart to beat normally, but it couldn’t. It worked over her control, the wrong way. And she felt that feeling again, the butterflies in her tummy.
The old man that sat next to her finally muttered, whether it’s intended for her or not, she could hear it clearly, "Well, I think you should forgive him. He looks good and you two match for each other."
He glanced at him and said, "Excuse me, sir. We're just friends, and I must take my best friend back to my side again."
"Oh, whatever," the woman who sat next to Suzy added, "the point is forgive him, young woman, before we feel excited and tell this young man to kiss you."
Suzy turned her head to the woman, her eyes narrowed. "Can’t you hear? We’re. Just. Friend."
The woman pouted and shrugged, but still uttering, "Come on, forgive him."
She turned at him again - he's still smiling, it was an awkward smile - and sighed.
"Tell me," he opened his mouth, "tell me, what should I do so you can forgive me?"
She thought for a moment. "A lot of things, I think. One, I don’t need to come to your house every morning. Two, I don’t need to ask you to come home every night. Three, I don’t have to take you to get around the city and end up on the fact I have to pay everything. Then - "
"Okay. That's too much. One, just one."
"Okay... Then what? Hmm, wait a minute," Suzy was tapping her index finger into her thighs for a while, but finally said, "Okay, this. One thing you should do, don’t make me angry or sad."
"But those are two things." He tried to protest.
"Then I won’t forgive you."
"Wait - okay, okay. I promise i will not make you angry or sad."
She realized her lips slowly building a smile, but she was unconscious when her cheeks flushed and the butterflies came back in her tummy. "Promise?"
Myungsoo sighed. "At least you don’t make that pinky promise. Oh, well, then."
"Okay."
"Okay." He finally stood up but his eyes couldn’t release from her gaze. "We're friends now?"
"Who said we're not friends?" She shrugged and smiled lightly.
This is odd, for them. They had fought for about seven hours, and she so easily forgave this man. She thought she was the one that was difficult to forgive - to see from the past - and she didn’t know why she could do this now.
After that, the same night, when she was going to bed with her sister, she asked.
She lied in bed, covering almost the entire of her body with a blanket. She whispered, "Unni, why can one people forgive others easily? Though they've made us upset."
That sounded like a delirium than a question, but her sister knew that he was quite conscious. She smiled though Suzy couldn’t see it and said, "The answer is very simple, because you want that person stays in your life."
She didn’t reply though. Not because she didn’t know want to say, but it was because she thought too many questions. But only one came out, "You mean you need him?"
"That depends," her sister slowly crawled under their blanket, lying on her side. "Sometimes it's because you need them, sometimes it's because you like them, even it's because you love them. Oh, well, good night, Suzy!"
"Hmmm."
Suzy tried to sleep, but it ended with eyes opened.
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