Chapter 11: Encounters

“People where you live," the little prince said, "grow five thousand roses in one garden... yet they don't find what they're looking for...

“They don't find it," I answered.

“And yet what they're looking for could be found in a single rose, or a little water..."

“Of course," I answered.

And the little prince added, "But eyes are blind. You have to look with the heart.” 

― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

The childhood never lasts long enough, does it? Before you know it you have already grown up and the world of magic and never ending adventures stop existing for you. There are no princes and no princesses, no one rides a white horse to your rescue, and happy endings get a completely new meaning in your dictionary. Love turns into a complicated and painful problem you would like to get rid of if only possible. Life is… just like that. It just is. Life is life and love… it’s a mix of pain and pleasure.

From the sweet and shy little boy, Ji Yong evolved into some kind of heartless and emotionless teenager who spent all his free time locked up in his room studying or then playing basketball in our backyard. As for me, I grew up to be everything I wanted to be: a slim pretty girl admired by her classmates. My character was still as horrible as ever but since I had lost all the weight everyone wanted to be my friend regardless to anything else. I dressed in pretty clothes, took care of my appearance, spent my time studying makeup tutorials from magazines and stalking my favorite idols.

When I was 11 years old our family moved to Seoul and I had to leave my old friends behind. Not that I had many back at Suwon but I was determined to get new ones in the new school. I decided to leave my old life behind and start anew. This included changing my attitude towards Ji Yong. I simply lost interest in bullying him or then I had finally gotten too used to having him around. Even if father praised him more than me or even if they got along better than ever before I simply stopped caring.

Ji Yong was just a boring nerd and his life revolved around dusty math and chemistry books – nothing worth my attention. Besides, he wasn’t a cute little boy anymore. He had become just a normal teenage boy who knew nothing about dressing well or grooming himself. His hair remained an overgrown mess until he decided to go for the horrible crop cut which stayed until he graduated from junior high. Needless to mention, I still hated a lot of things about him: his hair, his clothes, the look in his eyes, the smell of his deodorant, his nasty comments, and the list could go on forever. He always had a way to annoy me even if he didn’t do it on purpose.

But despite everything, I still let him sleep next to myself when he had a nightmare. We didn’t share a room anymore but I could hear him screaming behind the wall now and then. I never asked about the nightmares but I never stopped wondering just what was it that wouldn’t let him sleep. He never talked about it but I was sure that the horrible nightmares kept haunting him when he was awake too, I could see it in his eyes – the pain and sorrow.

During the first year of high school Ji Yong became the captain of the boys’ basketball team and during the second year, he was selected to be the student council president. That’s when he really became popular, the smart and athletic kid everyone admired. His grades were perfect and he never caused problems. He wasn’t late for class even once! Unlike me…

I was the troublemaker all teachers hated. Sure, I became the captain of the girls’ basketball team but that was my only achievement.  My grades and I cared more about makeup and dating than studying. I was always late for school, even though Ji Yong was the one having problems waking up in the mornings, and I often fought with other girls. It was hard to become a queenka but no one ever told me that it would be even harder to keep that position.

To sum it up, I and Ji Yong, we were total opposites but we both became popular in our own ways. Too bad our paths never crossed and we mostly avoided each other at school. When at home we still sometimes played basketball together, he would help me with my homework when I needed help and when he couldn’t sleep he’d sneak into my room. Sometimes he acted so contradicting. It was hard to understand him at all. He’d be all mean and ignorant but the next moment he’d suddenly be nice and considerate just to say something mean moments later. It’s like he had a personality disorder of some kind or maybe he was just bipolar. I never managed to figure him out no matter how hard I tried. Well, I was never that smart to begin with…

Tale as old as time, true as it can be.

Barely even friends,

then somebody bends… unexpectedly.

-Disney: Beauty and the Beast

Going to Paradise Kiss unprepared was out of the question so after sharing a meal with Bum Ho and JiSub I went home instead. Aware of the fact that the things they had said might have been mere rumors I kept telling myself not to take their words too seriously. But how could I not? There was a person named Leader Jang who particularly owned the whole Seoul Station and its vicinity, he was rich and powerful. This person was someone Seung-Hyun worked for and somehow Ji Yong had ended up working for Seung-Hyun. There were many holes in the story that needed to be filled with details. Like how did Leader Jang become so rich and what were Seung-Hyun’s reasons to start working for him? What was Seung-Hyun’s real identity if he wasn’t the Seung-Hyun I read about in the papers? What was the link between Seung-Hyun and Ji Yong? What about Paradise Kiss? What was the whole purpose of the place and why hadn’t it been moved to another location like other illegal casinos, most of which went to Jeju? Was there some kind of power struggle between Seung-Hyun and Leader Jang and how did Ji Yong get tangled up in all that?

As expected, Internet knew nothing about Leader Jang and after making another search on Seung-Hyun, I didn’t find anything new or anything that would point to him doing something illegal. His background was perfect. A perfect lie! I was back to the starting point. Even after obtaining so much new information I barely knew anything at all.

First came frustration and then anxiety. I grew worried about Ji Yong, he was doing something as insane as racing on those alleys where barely two motorbikes could fit next to each other. There was no way he’d do something that insane without a good reason so he must have been coerced into it. Somehow Seung-Hyun had made him race and he was purposely preventing me from meeting Ji Yong. For sure! If he was really Ji Yong’s best friend he would have given me Ji Yong’s phone number or told me where to find him. He would have done his all to prevent Ji Yong from racing. Best friends don’t purposely put each other in dangerous situations. It could be that Seung-Hyun was also preventing Ji Yong from meeting me. It had to be so because Ji Yong wouldn’t disappear like that without a word.

In conclusion, going to Paradise Kiss it would be the same as if walking into a trap. Who knew what was waiting for me in there? And what if Seung-Hyun actually sent those homeless men to tell me everything? He was manipulative enough to do something so outrageous. He was definitely planning something horrible but I was not going to go along with those plans. There had to be a way for me to somehow meet up with Ji Yong to find out if there were any ways to help him. He was the only family I had left and losing him like this was not an option.

Now then, what do I do?

First thing was to find a way to meet Ji Yong without having Seung-Hyun around but that was tricky since I had no idea about Ji Yong’s whereabouts. The only place where he could be was Paradise Kiss or maybe Seung-Hyun’s flat and both options were out of the question. I didn’t know if Seung-Hyun was always hanging at Paradise Kiss but it would be pointless to bump into him there. Therefore, I needed to make sure he wouldn’t be there for sure when going there. But how? I don’t even have his contact information.

After brainstorming, I realized that there was one way to distract Seung-Hyun only if only there was a way to somehow contact him. It was a fact that he always appeared whenever I got into trouble so… I need to get into trouble. And that’s how I ended up in a bar, dressed in suggestive clothes, drinking shots to get wasted as soon as possible.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I do not enjoy drinking at all. In fact, I only drink when being depressed or distressed, which happens quite often lately, but even then I avoid getting too drunk. You see, when I drink alcohol my eyesight gets quite bad until I can’t see a thing. When this happened the first time I freaked out and went to the hospital to find out if I had some kind of critical condition but the doctors didn’t find anything wrong with me. I was completely healthy but this strange condition couldn’t have been a good sign so I avoided drinking as much as possible. Until lately…

This might sound really suspicious and weird but after Ji Yong disappeared I got wasted a few times, alone. And every time there was someone to help me get home. Due to being so drunk, the next morning I never remembered who helped me but someone did for sure. I always thought that maybe Ji Yong was secretly watching over me and that just might be true based on what Seung-Hyun had told me. Though, I rarely drank alone because of this weird condition. After all, I had my ex-boyfriend, my friends, and Tae Yang to keep me company.

“One more tequila”, holding up two fingers I flashed a goofy smile to the bartender. His face was a blur to me but I sensed his hesitancy. Well, can’t blame him. I must be quite a sight now. After downing the shot, I bit onto the lemon slice and grimaced. It was time to act! To go to the dance floor and wait for some man to set his eyes on me. Truthfully speaking, I wasn’t sure if this plan would work at all and it did cross my mind that Ji Yong, Seung-Hyun or Daesung might not appear and then I’d be in big trouble. I’d be ed. But it was