Amber frozen a moment when she heard someone knocked her door. She took a glance to the clock. It was almost midnight, too late for someone to visit her.

"Who's it?" She mumbled as approached the door.

She peeked into the door hole. Her eyes widened when she saw a familiar figure stood in front of her door. It was him, her fiance, or maybe her soon-to-be ex-fiance. Her cheeks started wet again by tears. Thinking that she would lose him tonight made her couldn't control her emotion. She closed with both of her palms and let out a soft sob. She ran to her room and grabbed the letter she wrote hours ago.

Hyungwon kept knocking her door while fixed his coat and his new red knitted scarf. Few minutes passed and Amber still hadn't open the door for him. He fished his phone and started dial her number. He stared at her door, highly hoping her would open this door soon. He really missed her. 

Her ringing phone killed the silence at her room. It made Jackjack woke up from its tight sleep. Jackjack let out a low pitched bark then continued it with the higher one. Amber stopped at her place and looked at her ringing phone which was put on the dining table. She read the displayed name on the phone screen. It was a call from Hyungwon. She ignored the call and resumed her walk to the door. 

Hyungwon smiled when he hear her ringtone, followed with a high pitched bark. That meant she was at home. She didn't celebrate the Christmas Eve at one of her friends' place. He sighed in relief. It wasn't too late to come here. They might could celebrate this Christmas together. 

Amber took a deep breath before turned the doorknob. The door was slowly opened. Hyungwon greeted her with his smiling face. But in the next second that smile faded away from his face. His eyes widened slightly once he saw his beloved one. He never expected she would welcome him with emotionless face. It was his fault after all. He left her for a whole month without a word. She had a right to mad at him. 

Amber stared at him for a moment. He had changed, a lot. She almost forgot how handsome his face, how tall his body, and how fresh his scent. She almost didn't recognise her own fiance. The tall guy in front of her now seemed like a stranger for her.

Hyungwon shocked when he realised how horrible Amber's appearance. Her short hair were messy. Her face were pale like a white wall. Her eyes were swollen with visible dark circle around the eyes. She looked like a walking dead, so fragile and lifeless. Another guilty stabbed right on his chest. He just left her for a month but it was enough to make her dying like this.

"Amber! Are you okay? What's happened to you?" asked him worriedly. 

Amber ignored his questions and acted coldly as if nothing happened between them. "Merry Christmas, Hyungwon. The scarf really suits you." She said in a low voice, almost a whisper. 

He smiled. "Of course. Because you made it for me. I'm really happy. Thank you, my angel." Hyungwon leaned closer and was going to give her a sweet kiss when she turned her face aside to silently refuse the kiss.

"I have something for you." She passed the sealed letter to him.

He blinked as he took the letter from her hand. "What is it? A love letter for me?" He chuckled a bit. 

"Maybe..." Amber shrugged. 

His eyes widened once again when his hand felt a hard small circle under the envelope. He wanted to disbelief it. It wasn't like what he thought, he hoped. He grabbed her hand and found nothing around her fingers.  

"Where's your ring?" asked him.

"Inside there." Amber replied in a soft whisper as she pointed to the letter she gave him previously.

"Why? I gave it to you and you should wear it, Amber. What's wrong with you?" He quickly opened the envelope and took the engagement ring inside. 

He was about to take her hand and slipped back the ring to her finger when she took aback her hand. "No. I can't."

"Amber,  please..." He begged. "I love you and you love me. We know that. So, please don't let it ended."

Her eyes got watery. "I wrote everything on the letter..." She talked with a cracked voice. "It will be better if you go home now." 

Amber pushed him lightly and tried to close her door but Hyungwon stubbornly held the door with his hand. "No. I'm already at home and I don't want to go to anywhere. Please, Amber, give me a chance..."

"I already gave you more than you deserved and you kept failing to use it..." She cried. "You left me alone like a stupid here. You even didn't try to contact me. Tell me,  Hyungwon. Should I marry a guy who never be there when I need him the most?"

Hyungwon paused a bit. He could see a huge disappointment on her eyes. He felt really guilty. He wanted to fix everything. He would do anything she wanted so she would forgive him. He really loved her and he knew he couldn't life properly without her. She was his precious one and only.

"I'm sorry, Amber. But please let me fix everything. I promise I will stay so close to you. I will marry you soon so we can life together. You and Jackjack will move to my home. I promise I will protect you two..." 

Amber pushed her door so hard till it was closed. She quickly locked the door. She flooped on the floor and cried as she hugged her knees. She couldn't control her tears anymore. She already lost the one she loved the most, or at least she thought like that. 

Hyungwon got surprised when Amber slammed the door right on his face. She never acted like this before, at least in front of him. Maybe it was too late for him. Maybe he accidentally committed a fatal mistake to her. But he didn't want to let her go. He wouldn't let that bad history repeated again. 

He already lost her once in the past. She suddenly disappeared for a whole week and he was going crazy. He looked for her everyday. He tried to contact her every minutes. He lacked of sleep and lost his appetite. His life was a mess without her. Then when she appeared in front of his eyes again, he was so happy. She brought him back alive. He promised to himself that he wouldn't let it happened again. 

But now he didn't know what to do. He kept knocking her door but she seemed refuse to let him going inside. He didn't want to lose her. Not now, not later, not forever.

"Amber, please open the door." He knocked her door till his hand got hurted. "I know you can hear me. I know you still love me as much as my love to you. So, please don't give up to me. I beg you."

Amber shook her head as covered her ears with her palms. "Just go!" She sobbed loudly. 

"No! I won't go till you forgive me and wear this ring again. Amber, please. Let's talk. Don't be like this." He tried to make her believe in him again. 

Amber didn't reply anything but an audible sob. She was a stubborn girl with a high pride. She never took aback the words which already slipped out from . She didn't want to meet him again. She knew it was a hard decision but she thought she needed to end this pain. She loved him till it hurted herself.

"Amber, please..." He begged again. "I won't go anywhere. I will waiting here till you open the door. Do you hear me? Yes, I'm stubborn, just like you."

"Stupid Hyungwon..." She mumbled softly as buried her face on her knees and cried silently. 

Hyungwon sat down on the cold floor. He leaned his back on her door. His attention now went to the envelope on his fist. Her letter he didn't want to read cause he was too afraid to read it. He was too busy to make Amber wore the engagement ring till he forgot with the letter existence. He took a deep breath as he taken out folded papers inside. He started read that letter from her, word per word. 

She really put everything she felt during his absence on that letter. All unsaid words. All buried feelings. He felt like she was standing in front of him and said all those words directly to him. Once again, she made him speechless, bad and terrible in the same time. He couldn't help himself to hold the tear. A single drop defeated him by rolling down on his cheek. His whole body was  suddenly getting weak till his hand couldn't hold the light letter. The papers slipped out from his hand and fell on the floor. He felt like dying when he read her last word in the end of her letter. Even he didn't dare to imagine nor dream she would say it to him. A goodbye word from a girl named Amber Liu was strong enough to make a Hyungwon Chae asked for his death.