A promise is meant to be kept from heart to heart; a special bond that surpasses everything, anything—until doubt emerges thus making it uglier. 

And therefore, just anything that started off with promise, I’d rather be the first one to abandon it.

“The world where we were together, isn't it nicer?” 

Because I realized now, words that were once said in the name of 'innocent' could already be the first sign of betrayal between us.

* * *

A year ago, my name rose as one of the three survivors in deadliest road accident near Meridian Highlands. Despite of valueing how lucky I got, most of the times, I was being insecure about my own fragmented memories which kind of blurred. Not much of the details absorbed in my head although it remained as the salient point in my life where it marked the beginning of a roller coaster ride. I met with Cha Eunjung—and again in another world.

With those ever familiar eyes of her, she asked: am I not curious? She spelled out her name unblinkly then naturally, the fear of losing her regurged; my heart constricted up to the point where it felt so irreversibly dysfunctional. The clock reset as it cursed tragedy all over again—to live under the same sky, same world with her.

Despite everything, still nothing in the two worlds could be compared to this: wearing Cha Eunjung's face—is a monster. Friend? I'd choke on that word anytime. Because when all our past memories resonate insides, it was then only I realized—what kind of a friend I was.

* * *

Scream

How wrong can a 'scream' be? It has to be one of anyone second nature. Even in adults, my parents for example, I've seen them do 'it' anywhere, at any time, including the hallway of our classroom. Every time they made it looked like they were about to scream at each other, darkness struck; my heart silenced as it torn between right and wrong. Bit by bit, a truism line was drawn: I despised scream because it would only mean that I was no different than them. Even for a split seconds, I wouldn't want that. Since the beginning, I'd always hate of what they were doing: arguing in front of me—everyone. As it registered inside my mind for as long as I could remember, my heart too, was second to it.

Three things that I vividly remembered throughout my childhood: scream, eleven year old, and someone I would call as friend, Han Jiyeon.

Probably I don't have the time to feel curious, and that my mind was too occupied with nothing but studying. Probably because no one ever asked. Probably I just have no one there—to listen to my explanation. Just like that, and without knowing myself, silence had taken a role in my life. Day after day, I worked even harder to distance myself away from others. I'd do whatever it took for me to revert everything into zero—and what it came down to was that—eleven year old was the onset of dreadful memories in my childhood. 

Jiyeon could've grown up like Eunjung only if we didn't come to that place—the horror park or commonly called as 'The Scream Park', located at the peak of Meridian Highlands.

We went there for a school trip when we were eleven. It was our last destination, the ultimate event before we call it a day. Memories inside the Scream Park on that day had miraculously faded into nothingness despite her death was the first thing I learned on the next morning, while it goes on and on untill this moment. I remembered hearing from mom that when our group went in, the whole park were experiencing a blackout. Everyone screamed. Hold onto each other to made sure no one left out. Then I was separated from the group because I never say anything. 'You didn't scream.' They said. 'All you need to do is scream.' They repeated. And so, if only I had screamed, the chance of drifting apart shouldn't exist at all. For whatever reason(s), Jiyeon wouldn't have to look out for me in the dark and it wouldn't be the last memories I received from her.

"Song Hyuna, why didn't you scream?"

"If only you had...then everything could've been in control."

"We'll definitely find you if you've had called us out..."

"No one will die."

It just that I had becoming more afraid of the possibility of a similar fear in the future. And in the process of growing up, that kind of 'Song Hyuna' was reborn. The Song Hyuna who'd choose to witness her best friend's death than screaming for help.