March 19th, 2015

It's been a long time since I wrote in here; I've lost the motivation and purpose of recording my days. Nothing much goes on anyways. But today, today I have a story to tell.

It was raining today and as usual, I was at the bookstore, doing some cleaning when I heard the front door jingled.  I had remembered sighing before putting a smile on my face to greet whoever was at the door. The person was slightly drenched from the rain and figured that she's just going inside to take shelter from the rain.

Troublesome, I had thought.

But she's still a customer no matter what so I invited her in and offered her tea or coffee and to my surprise, she ordered a cup of black coffee. Weird, because she didn't look like she'll be drinking that bitter black beverage. I remembered when I had one in the past, when I first settled in Seoul and regretted it immediately after the first sip.

I went at the back to make her the coffee, leaving her alone. I'm no barista but grandpa had taught me how to make various beverages and one in particular that I'm interested in was coffee. There's just something about the aroma and I feel comforted when grinding down the coffee beans to powder. It reminded me of grandpa's wrinkled hands, turning the handle, grinding the coffee beans slowly but surely. I missed him. When I'm done, I brewed her black coffee and retraced my steps back where I left her but she was not there.

I called out for her, I'm not gonna let the coffee go cold. It'll be disrespectful to the coffee.

She's so weird and like me, she only tried black coffee to look cool. She even called me Jindo dog!

Turned out that she's originally from Jeonju and so we began talking about our hometown, the homemade meals of Jeonju and inevitably, family. I told her that I owned the bookstore, passed down from grandpa and she seemed to be genuinely impressed. What can I say, I am too when mom and dad decided to pass it to me instead of inheriting it themselves.

We parted ways hours after the bookstore's closing hours.

I would never have thought I'll find someone who I can relate to so much like her. Like she's my other half that I've been looking for. We chatted as if we've known each other for so long and that we've been best friends for years - but we are not!

The rain, I've always hated it. It's gloomy, cold and dull. Just like my life.

But that was before I met her.

Ahn Hyejin, that's her name.

My savior from this boring life of mine.

Maybe, just maybe, she's the cure.

My cure.

Ahn Hyejin.

That's her name.

She closed her diary; a small black notebook and still untitled. She had kept it in her pillow case, thinking she'd never write much in it but still it was a present from her parents when she moved to Seoul.

'To record your adventure,' her mom had said.

The only other time she wrote in it was her first day settling in Seoul, her hardship of finding an apartment close to the bookstore with cheap rents since there was no guarantee that the bookstore will yield much income. It was just an old café bookstore at the corner of the street, facing rows of gray aging buildings. Besides, it's rare that people will actually go to a bookstore at this modern era; keyword rare. People do come by but they never became a regular and with limited budgets, Wheein had to resort to only part-timer, no full-time workers.

She tucked her diary back into her pillow case and stared blankly at her dingy apartment ceiling, thinking back to earlier. For the first time since she moved to Seoul, today had to be the most memorable one for she finally found a friend, maybe.

Hyejin had promised to visit the bookstore once in a while when she have the free time. Wheein didn't hold her to her words because she's used to broken promises and betrayal so she didn't expect a lot from her but deep down, she knew this time will be different. She felt that connection with Hyejin and if she's wrong this time, her ability to trust will forever disappear.

Enough of heartbreaks and betrayal. I deserve my own share of happiness too.

Her eyes teared up at her thoughts and it flowed sideways and wet her pillow, the same pillow she had been crying on since day one. She had refrained herself from calling her parents and let everything out because then they'll worry about her and possibly want her back home in Jeonju.

She loved the bookstore too much to let go of it and the bookstore was really the one keeping herself together; the memories of her with her grandfather when he was still alive and the happiness she had felt before. It's all adsorbed into the bookstore and if she were to lose it, she might just go crazy.

Please, just this once, relieve me of my pain.