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“Na-Young… Na-Young?”

Slowly I opened my eyes, absorbing the white four walls surrounding me. There was a bright window high up in the room at my left side. The glistering light of the sun filled the room and stung my half opened eyes. My chest was hurt for some reason, it wasn’t a stinging pain but a slight throbbing and muscle aching, I lifted my arm to feel my chest going up and down but soon I noticed the infusion that was connected to my hand. I realized I was in hospital. I started wondering who had been calling my name until I spotted Leeteuk next to my bed. He was on a chair, sleeping.
How long had it been ago? How late was it? And more importantly, what had happened?
I went to sit straight and shook Leeteuk’s shoulder.

“Teuk-ah!”

His body shot up. “Na-Young?! Go lie down again, now!”

I looked at him in confusion. “What happened?”

“You…-“ he stopped, “you had a heart attack.” He added softly.

My eyes grew wide. “I…so that’s the pain I’m feeling… but how?” I was struck by more confusion.

“I don’t know… but the doctor said you were in a really weak condition… do you still remember what happened before?”

“I… didn’t know anything, I swear…” tears were running down my face and I was panting.

“Shh… it’s alright don’t stress yourself!” Leeteuk tried to calm me down. “These things can happen to everyone…”

I tried to breathe slowly and do what he said but in the back of my mind I knew that this was not normal. I must have a heart abnormality that caused all this; I just didn’t know how severe it was.

“Leeteuk, how late is it, what day is it?”

He sighed deeply and stared off in front of him. I didn’t know why but it looked as if he didn’t want to answer. How was this question sensitive?

“It’s Monday, the first day after winter break, it’s three o clock in the afternoon, and you rolled in the emergency room about two hours ago.”

“Oh…”

“Did you… remember what happened last morning?” He looked at me and I realized his eyes were moist. I began to wonder if something important happened last morning and racked my brain to catch up the memories but no matter how I tried, they wouldn’t come. It was blank.
And then suddenly the image of my locker and the letter flashed in front of my eyes. 1 o clock PM, this afternoon.

“Oh no!” I sat up straight and removed the white sheets. I struggled with the infusion. Leeteuk looked at me confused until he noticed I was trying to rip it out of my hand.

In a split second he had leaned over me and held both my hands pressed against the bed to stop me from moving.

“Stop Na-Young! Are you crazy?!” He yelled.

I tried to calm down. How was I ever going to explain this to him? After an awkward silent moment I slowly started speaking, keeping my voice low.

“You don’t understand. I have to go somewhere…” I looked away and avoided his stare. My eyes were filling themselves with tears.

“Wait! You remember?” He let out surprised. His face brightened, but then it suddenly dropped. He looked disappointed.

“Huh?” I said looking at him. That’s when I began to realize the awful reality. It had been Leeteuk instead of Eunhyuk who wrote me the letter.

“Leeteuk…” I could only utter.

“It was me who wrote it, Na-Young… did you think… of someone else?”

It was clear as ice that Leeteuk and I were thinking about the same person now; it couldn’t have been someone else because there were only three persons underneath the cherry tree. He just didn’t want to admit it. I didn’t want to either, but it was too late… I had to admit.

“I thought…-” I started but then I realized I shouldn’t jump to conclusions immediately. “I mean, what did you want to tell me?” I asked casually. I decided to play the oblivious girl who didn’t know anything about a guy’s feelings. In reality I felt devastated. I turned my head away. Tears were rolling out of my eyes, on the sheets and over the bridge of my nose. How? How could I’ve been so naïve and stupid? To think that Eunhyuk would actually have feelings for me… No, scratch that, to think he had even missed me while I was on vacation… To think that he cared about me… and to even think that we were still friends...
I wanted to forget him. I’ve been living in a world that was all about him and me. A fantasy world… I hated him.

“Never mind, it’s not important…” Leeteuk said, “you rest well okay?” He then stood up and walked to the door. I wanted to reply but I couldn’t bring myself to talk. Even though he hadn’t admitted it, I knew just what was going on. Leeteuk, I’m so sorry…

I fell fast asleep and woke up at around 4 o clock in the afternoon. I felt someone’s presence near me. Yet again I was getting my hopes up that it was Eunhyuk but my mind of course knew that it wasn’t. And my mind was right. I looked at the side to see Yu-Na beside me. She smiled but there was mascara under her red and puffy eyes.

“Na-Young? You –, I was so scared when I heard Leeteuk say you had a heart attack… I’ve got here as fast as possible and… how did this happen? You were so healthy before and, -” She was speed talking and completely out of breath.

“I don’t know what happened Yu-Na…” I said honestly, “I don’t know what’s happening…”

“Oh… but when you don’t feel good, promise to call me okay? I’m coming right over, no matter what time it is!”

I started laughing. “Thanks Yu-Na.”

“You’re my best friend Na-Young! My only friend… I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have you… ” She took hold of my hand and I noticed she was about to cry again.

“Hey, you have Leeteuk as well…” But right when I had said that she started sobbing even louder.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, but she just shook her head in denial.

“I- I confessed today, Na-Young…” My eyes grew wide. “he said that he didn’t like me… I mean he likes me as a friend…” then she started laughing, “…well I guess, I do have a new friend…” she looked down and smiled.

“Aww… I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay.”

After 4 days I was discharged from the hospital, but I had to take things easy. They advised me to take as much rest as possible. There wasn’t anything else they could do at the moment. I decided not to care about Eunhyuk anymore. He had visited me in the hospital, and he was being his usual cheerful self, but right now I didn’t want to feel attracted to him, so I kept on telling myself over and over again that he was just a “friendly person” to me. He wasn’t a friend. The word “friend” was too much…
My parents had come back from America as soon as they had heard the news about me. From then on they had pampered me with all kinds of healthy and delicious drinks and foods. My mother made sure the temperature in the house was nice. She checked on me every hour and stayed home all day. She brought me to school and picked me up. She used all kinds of nice scents for the hot bath she’d prepare for me just to relieve stress. I felt like a queen.
Not only had my mother treated me with all her concern. In school I was constantly asked if I was okay by Eunhyuk.
I had the idea that he felt guilty for not talking to me in such a long time, it had caused him such a big shock to suddenly hear I was in hospital. It was as if he was trying to make up for it now.
Why? Why did he always have to make it so hard for me? Just now that I have decided to give up… It might have been better if he ignored me, so the process of getting over him would go faster.
But of course, he had no idea about all the feelings I had bottled up inside of me.
Leeteuk and I weren’t awkward luckily. It seemed as if nothing had happened. I knew he liked me but I guess he pretended not to. Or maybe he had accepted things. But it didn’t feel good at first. Always during the very rare cases that Eunhyuk approached and greeted us, Leeteuk had to do “something else” and walked away, leaving us alone.

It was March. Another month had passed by and the first signs of spring were present. Cherry trees were the first to bloom and some had started already. We were in biology class and I was spacing out, staring at the falling blossoms outside.

“GROUP!” Eunhyuk yelled from behind me and hugged Leeteuk and I close together.

I froze from shock. “Aishh… Eunhyuk, don’t do that again!” I yelled at him when he released us.

“Alright…” He laughed and hugged me from behind. I couldn’t stop my heart from racing again for the umpteenth time. I looked at Leeteuk; he was quiet and stared at his opened note block. Slowly he brought the pencil to his paper and started writing down something I couldn’t read.

“So… I was thinking about making a real poster instead of using PowerPoint…” Eunhyuk kept talking while actively using his hands as he was explaining his whole idea. But I hadn’t been paying attention in class so I didn’t even know what we had to do in the first place.

“What do you think…?” He added.

“Um, what was the assignment again…?” I asked slowly.

Then he started laughing out loud. “Have you listened to anything the teacher just said?!” Eunhyuk asked me.

“Well, of course I did!” I just missed the clue, I added in my mind.

“Okay so…” He started explaining everything again and turned to Leeteuk. “Have you listened with us?” He nudged Leeteuk in the shoulder.

“Huh? Yeah… um you said something about PowerPoint?” Leeteuk looked up from his note block for the first time and grinned sheepishly.

“Yah! Do I have to do everything here?!” Eunhyuk whined, “since when…?”

Then Leeteuk and I burst out laughing. But secretly I was wondering if Leeteuk was happy for real…