The third autumn had passed since the last time I left South Korea. I had never come back even to visit my family because I was afraid that I would search for Daesung and stay beside him. My career was on the rising and I wasn’t able to leave everything I had built. Sure Christmas was lonely but I had liquors to accompany me, and lots of one night stands.

I thought that I wouldn’t feel the loneliness, until Seunghyun Hyung’s email appeared in my inbox.

He told me that he wanted to see me while he was attending something in Paris and wanted to go to Vienna. He said that he wanted to see his beloved dongsaeng who seemed to forget his country already because of his job. He wrote quite a long mail just to scold me, telling me that it was rude because I only sent him postcards without giving my address. I was smiling ear to ear when I read the long mail until I saw the attachments.

It was Daesung’s selca with him.

Daesung was smiling brightly, showing his teeth and making a ‘v’ sign towards the camera. His hair was blown by the wind and Seunghyun Hyung was kissing his hair while holding his head. The background was sea and I bet it was on Jeju Island, where Seunghyun Hyung had been working at for the last two years.

So you finally in his embrace, huh? I snickered. But then the thought of Daesung smiling so bright made me hard to catch my breath. I squeezed my left chest, but apparently it wasn’t physical pain. My tears fell down uncontrollably. It was painful to see him happy with Seunghyun Hyung.

Daesung never smiled that bright when he was with me. His smile was always a tightlipped one, just like his personality: an introverted one. But I guessed Seunghyun Hyung brought out the best in him –and I hated to know that fact.

I didn’t know what the intention of Seunghyun Hyung was, to send me such a picture. But then it intrigued me to tell him that I wanted to meet him at Paris instead of him meeting me in Vienna. Moreover, I thought that I had to take days off, which I did rarely.

*

The park near Eiffel Tower was full of people who wanted to take the picture of the golden leaves fallen from the trees. It was cold but it didn’t bother the people to enjoy the weather before it became colder. I put my hands into my coat and covered half of my face with a shawl.

Seunghyun Hyung was smiling, enjoying the crowd, while I sat beside him with my heart on my throat. It was beating so fast that I felt dizzy. Since he saw me sitting on the bench he did nothing, even to greet me. He just casually sit beside me without saying a word. Then after a while, he turned his head to see me. He pulled down my shawl and smirked.

“You’re getting thinner,” he caressed my cheek. “Have you been well all this time, Jiyong-ah?”

I brushed of his hands. Suddenly I felt jealousy creeped up and the image of Daesung smiling brightly when Seunghyun Hyung kissed him whirling in my head. I hate him.

He took a deep sigh and continued, “I guess you’re fine. I’m fine and he’s also fine than ever, Ji, if you want to know.”

“I don’t want to know that,” I bit my lip to hide the truth. “What are you doing in here?”

He shifted his position so he could pay more attention at me. “I’m visiting my father,” he said. “To tell him something important and to tell you that important news, too.”

I furrowed my eyebrows. “I don’t understand?”

“I think I don’t fit being a businessman and I want to give my position to my step brother,”

“The other Seunghyun?”

“Seungri,” he corrected me. “He loves his nickname that sometimes I forget his real name.”

I chuckled. “He’s been following me, you know.”

“I know. That brat even said to our father that he wanted to build connections by hopping countries, but in fact he’s following you, right? I really don’t understand him,” the man beside me chuckled. “But what do we do for love?”

“He was here,” I grabbed a bouquet of flower beside me. “He met me before I met you.”

“I can see his messy handwriting,” he pointed at the card in the bouquet. “Love, Seungri,” he read the card and smiled at me. "He's been into you since his first year in university, right?"

I put back the bouquet and looked at him. He was playing with his fingers, as if he was nervous.

“Listen Ji, don’t you want to ask me why I am going to give up my position at the company?”

“I don’t know,” I shrugged my shoulder. “You tell me.”

“Jeju-Seoul is too far for me