Jackson sat a few rows in front of Mark as he scribbled something in his notebook. The older wasn't entirely sure if he was genuinely taking notes or just doodling whatever godforsaken thing he came up with in his mind, but judging by how Jackson barely glanced up at the board, he assumed the latter.

 

Every so often Mark would look up to the large clock mounted on the wall in the front of the classroom. The blond had made a decision; despite not knowing what the hell he'd say, he simply needed to talk with Jackson after class. Mark anxiously tapped his heel on the carpeted floor, his fingers still fumbling with his pen. He hadn't even realized he dropped the tiny spring until Youngjae bent over in his desk and picked it up.

 

"Hyung, what's the matter? You seem all...jittery." The younger whispered as he placed the screw on Mark's desk. The blond turned his gaze to his friend, then down to the spring.

 

"I don't know what you're talking about." He stated plainly, his hand reaching for the small piece of metal to return it to its rightful place.

 

Youngjae wasn't convinced. "Hey, have you not been taking any notes? I thought logarithms were your passion, remember?" He let out a contained laugh, trying to stay as quiet as possible.

 

"Right..." was all Mark replied with. He was too preoccupied with turning his head back to the front of the room.

 

 

"Hey Youngjae," Mark whispered as he turned back to his friend, "Go ahead to the dining hall without me today. I uh, need to ask the professor something after class."

 

Mark watched as a mild look of panic began to form on Youngjae's face as he spoke. "B-but hyung... Jinyoung-hyung has a club meeting today which means Jackson-hyung probably won't be there which means..." The younger trailed off, unable to finish as a tint of red covered his cheeks.

 

"Which means...you'll be alone with Jaebum?" Mark chuckled softly, "Well then it's a win-win for both of you."

 

A half confused half embarrassed expression clouded Youngjae's features as he bit down nervously on his bottom lip. Mark thought the younger's 'secret' crush on Jaebum was adorable, and he didn't understand why he didn't do anything about it since Jaebum obviously had feelings for Youngjae too. He knew the younger was too nervous to say anything, and he knew they were both comfortable with their friendship, but it was just a shame that they were missing out on something that could potentially be really good.

 

"You'll be fine." Mark nodded his head encouragingly. "Just talk about yourself the whole time, I'm sure he'll love hearing all about it. As long as you laugh at everything he says, he'll be happy." The blond teased as he brought a hand up to ruffle the younger's hair. Youngjae turned bright red, quickly looking back down to his notes to scribbling down the first thing to come to his head as a sign that read 'this conversation is over.'

 

Mark grinned, feeling somewhat satisfied. Just as he was turning back toward the front of the room, the bell went off and signaled the end of class. The blond shot up and shoved his notebook and pen into his bag, throwing it over his shoulder. He glanced back across the room at Jackson who was just standing from his seat, phone in hand. As students began filing out of the classroom, Mark took a deep breath and headed toward the other.

 

"Jackson," the addressed male stopped in his tracks and turned to the source of the voice, "can I talk to you?"

 

"Oh, what's up Mark? Sorry, I'm actually headed to meet with Jinyoung right now. Can this wait?"

 

"Jinyoung is at a meeting." Mark felt a bit suspicious of the male in front of him. Surely he knew his boyfriend had plans?

 

"O-oh, that's right. I knew that." Jackson scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "Uh, then I guess we can talk. What's up, man?"

 

Mark frowned, but he tried not to make it too obvious. "I was just wondering..." He paused, suddenly unable to form a cohesive chain of words that would get what he wanted to say off his chest. "Uhh... I mean, I just wanna know... Like I totally understand that this is completely out of the blue but-"

 

"Spit it out, hyung!" Jackson laughed, playfully smacking Mark's arm.

 

The blond bit his lip, taking another deep breath. "I-I was just wondering how long you've known that kid..Bambam."

 

"Oh, Bammie?" Mark nodded slowly and he could swear he saw Jackson's grip on his cellphone tighten. "Why do you ask?"

 

"J-just wondering."

 

"Well, we met at the beginning of the semester when we found out we had ancient civilizations together."

 

Mark nodded again, his fingers finding their next victim to fiddle with: his ring. "You two seem...w-well he seems to look up to you..?" Mark cursed himself. Look up to you? More like ogle at you, not that you mind in any way.

 

"Of course he does! I'm one of the top in the class, after all." The other boasted, bringing his arm up to jokingly flex his muscles.

 

"I see.. W-well, there isn't anything going on between you two, is ther-"

 

"Hyuuung!"

 

Mark was interrupted by a voice bounding their way and peeking through the classroom doors.

 

"You said you'd meet me at the front gate right after class, I was waiting..."

 

Jackson froze, glancing between Mark and Bambam who was standing across the room. When the youngest of the three caught sight of Mark, he quickly bowed out of respect.

 

"S-sorry Bammie, I was just talking to my friend Mark really quick... I'll be done in a couple minutes." Bambam pouted but nodded understandingly, turning around and walking away to let the two resume talking.

 

Mark's gaze now bore into Jackson, and the blond could practically see the younger flinch away from it. So he had been lying about meeting with Jinyoung. Just what exactly was he trying to pull?

 

"U-um.. I need to head out, could we wrap this up real quick?" Jackson's voice was slightly higher than usual and Mark noticed how he timidly avoided his gaze.

 

Mark understood it all now; there was no need to stick around and question Jackson any further. Whether or not something was going on between that kid Bambam and him, Jackson was definitely spending more than enough time with him and barely any time with his boyfriend. "Go ahead. I'll see you around." Mark's voice came out monotonously as he his heel and exited the classroom.

 

---

 

"Hyung, if you stay in bed any longer I'll just assume your getting sick and call Jinyoung-hyung over here to heal you."

 

Mark shot up into a sitting position, his eyes locking on his roommate as the younger threw his dance clothes into his bag. Yugyeom shook his head with a knowing smile as red tainted Mark's normally pale cheeks. "W-why would you call him??"

 

"Oh please hyung, you and I both know he's the only one who can bring you out of the dumps when you're feeling down." He slung his bag over his shoulder. "You've been in bed since you got home from class. Either you're procrastinating on an assignment or something's bothering you."

 

Mark frowned, laying down on his back. Of course Yugyeom would be able to read him like an open book. That giant freshmen was more intuitive than he seemed. "I don't really think Jinyoung could make me feel better right now."

 

Yugyeom sighed as he took a seat on the edge of his bed. "This is about him, isn't it?"

 

Mark didn't return the younger's gaze. Yugyeom knew the answer without the blond needing to confirm it. Neither of them had ever talked about Mark's feelings toward the other male but the dancer always saw right through him.

 

"Listen, I don't know much about this type of thing but Jinyoung-hyung seems to be feeling down lately too. Jackson-hyung's always hanging around the dance studio these days, so maybe it's a good idea to talk to him since he's probably been really lonely."

 

"That's not it.." Mark mumbled, his chest tightening. He felt a lump forming in his throat and he desperately tried to push it back down. "I've already comforted him because of Jackson and...l-let's just say it didn't turn out like it should have."

 

"Did you two fight?"

 

"N-no.."

 

Yugyeom was silent, glancing at Mark's still figure.

 

Suddenly Mark turned his head to face his roommate. "When Jackson visits the dance studio, what does he do?"

 

"He mostly watches. When we have breaks he'll usually go talk with Bambam. Sometimes he'll bring food and share it with Bambam and I."

 

"How long has he been going there?"

 

"A couple weeks, I think."

 

"Does it seem like-"

 

"Does it seem like something's going on between them? Definitely." Yugyeom finished Mark's sentence, catching the older slightly off guard. He really did have good intuition.

 

"." Mark brought his hands up to his face, smoothing them over his temples and running them through his hair.

 

"Does Jinyoung-hyung know about this?" Yugyeom asked. He wasn't exactly in Mark's friend group so he didn't really know Jinyoung all that well.

 

"Yeah.."

 

"Do you think they're gonna break up?"

 

Mark was silent. He hadn't really thought of the idea of Jackson and Jinyoung breaking up. They had always seemed so dependent on each other, so in love. That is, until recently of course. But Mark's mind was all jumbled and confused. At one moment Jinyoung was asking to kiss Mark a bunch of times and the next he was rushing off to Jackson's side, just as always. Even before those two started dating, Jinyoung had always chose Jackson over him. Always.

 

Yugyeom noticed Mark's inner turmoil upon hearing his question and stood, walking over to his roommate. "I know it's hard for you too, but I think Jinyoung needs you right now. As a friend." The younger placed a hand on Mark's shoulder. The blond was about to protest, but Yugyeom quickly continued talking. "He needs to talk this through with Jackson, but I don't think he has the strength to. He needs your support and encouragement."

 

Mark didn't particularly want Jinyoung to talk things through with Jackson. As a matter of fact, he wanted Jinyoung to break up with Jackson, but he knew he was asking too much. He was practically cheating on him in front of his face, yet Jinyoung still loved him after all that. Even if he did go to Jinyoung and offer his support, there's no saying whether or not the other would just take advantage of his kindness yet again. He wasn't prepared to deal with all of his emotions, and he was almost positive that if he faced Jinyoung, he wouldn't be able to control himself. "Psh, you're younger than me. You think you can give your hyung advice?" The blond was joking, but his tone came out somewhat bitter, reflecting exactly how he felt inside.

 

Yugyeom frowned. "You know I'm right though." When Mark didn't answer, the dancer sighed and turned toward the door. "I gotta go to practice. I'll text you when I'm heading back." Just as the younger was about to shut the door behind him, he turned back to Mark. "Don't forget what I said, ok hyung? You need to face your fears too, you know."

 

Face my fears? Who does that freshmen think he is anyway.. Mark huffed and stared up at the ceiling. What exactly were his fears?

 

 

Jinyoung was hurting right now, and knowing the person he loves was in pain made Mark want to die from agony. But he knew better than to run to his side and comfort him again. He wasn't going to fall for that trick the third time. He wasn't going to let his feelings be played with again. Not this time. If Jinyoung thought he could use Mark only when he needed him, he was wrong.

 

A knock on the door pulled Mark out of his thoughts. Assuming it was Yugyeom who stupidly forgot his key, Mark rolled himself unwillingly out of bed and turned the handle. "Yah, how many times have you forgotten your k-"

 

Mark's words were stopped short as his eyes rested on Jinyoung standing right outside of the door. The older blinked, staring at a weak-looking Jinyoung in front of him. Just as the other male opened his mouth to speak, Mark quickly slammed the door shut. He felt his heart race as he turned his back to his problems, something he had a tendency of doing when he wasn't emotionally prepared to deal with something. 

 

"Mark-hyung," there was another knock on the door, "I-I would really like to talk with you...I-if you'll just let me."

 

Mark hesitated, feeling his palms begin to sweat.

 

"P-please, hyung. I-I really need you right now."

 

Mark's heart plummeted into his stomach. Jinyoung needed him. He needed him because Jackson was off skipping around with another guy. He needed him because he wanted to use Mark again. Had Jinyoung always been this selfish?

 

"S-sorry, I'm n-not really feeling too w-"

 

"Hyung, open the door please."

 

The firmness in Jinyoung's tone made Mark flinch, but the older tried his damnedest to hold his ground. "I-I think Jaebum is free right now. I'm sure he could help-"

 

"Mark, I need you."

 

Mark shut his eyes, his heartbeat betraying him as it raced against his ribcage. "I-I don't want to help you anymore.."

 

There was a pause, each second weighing heavier on Mark's chest and making it harder and harder for him to breathe.

 

"C-can we just..talk, please?"

 

Jinyoung's tone was soft now as if it were on the verge of breaking, ruining Mark's determination. He pictured the younger male standing outside his door close to tears, clutching his fists so tightly his knuckles turned white. Mark's heart clenched defiantly and he found himself quickly turning around and opening the door again. What he saw before him was just as he pictured. Jinyoung knew just how to get to him; he knew just how to reel him in with the most delicious bait he'd ever tasted. And when he was done with him, he simply unhooked him from his line and threw him back into the water where he slowly drowned. Something in Jinyoung's gaze made him think this time would be different, but he knew that was simply wishful thinking.

 

"Hyung..."

 

Mark averted his gaze, yet stepped aside to let the younger in. Jinyoung walked by him and Mark slowly closed the door, an awkward tension immediately filling the now enclosed room. There was a good 3 minutes of silence. Jinyoung clutched his hands tightly together in front of him as Mark's gaze bore into the wooden slats on the floor.

 

"S-so...," Jinyoung broke the droning silence with a shaky voice, "Jackson's with Ba-"

 

"I know." Mark quickly interjected, his eyes remaining fixated on the floor.

 

"O-oh..."

 

The silence returned despite it being uninvited.

 

"Um.."

 

"Are you here to cry about Jackson again?" Mark spat out venomously and immediately regretted his words. He quickly glanced up at Jinyoung and his stomach churned; he saw the poison of his words spread through the younger male, stinging as they entered the bloodstream. Mark felt like an idiot. "J-Jinyoung, I'm so sorry I didn't mean-"

 

"I get it." Jinyoung was holding back tears, but he didn't budge from where he was standing. "I-I'm sorry too. I've been unfair, I know." He was hurt by Mark's words and he wanted nothing more than to leave the awful atmosphere of the room, but the blond saw the determination to speak what needed to be said in the younger's eyes. "I didn't know who else to go to, but you were there for me. You have always been there for me." A tear made its way down Jinyoung's cheek but he didn't let it stop him. He was already in motion, there was no way he was stopping now. "B-but I ruined everything and now you probably hate me. I wouldn't blame you." Mark was silent, his heart squeezing uncomfortably in his compressed chest. "A-anyway I just wanted to apologize. I-I'm sorry."

 

Jinyoung stood firmly, his gaze unable to remain on Mark despite his determination. He looked as if he was waiting for Mark to say something, but the blond was hesitating. The moment had passed and Jinyoung was visibly disappointed, but Mark was hurt too. It was obvious to him now that Jinyoung was only using him, no emotional attachment whatsoever. 

 

It stung. It stung like hell.

 

Assuming Mark hadn't accepted his apology based off his silence, Jinyoung shifted his weight awkwardly. "I-I guess that's all." He still sounded so fragile, as if a single light breeze would break him and send him into a fit of sobs. Mark wanted to shield him from the wind, but he had a feeling he wasn't strong enough either. 

 

Jinyoung slowly made his way to the door where he hesitated, as if giving Mark one more opportunity to speak. Without a single word from the elder, Jinyoung opened the door and left the dorm sullenly.

 

When the door clicked shut, Mark let himself cry.

 

---

 

A/n: whoops this is turning out really angsty.

Sorry again for the infrequent updates. Once school gets out I'll be sure to update more often!