- Yonghwa’s POV -

With the excitement and nervousness boiling within me, I got up from my seat, slinging my humongous bag on my shoulder and snatching the letter back in to my pocket.

With heart on my throat, butterflies in my stomach, I stepped outside from the bus. My first step back into reality and a longing welled up inside me. I couldn’t wait to meet her.

As I looked left to right, the nervousness was piling up. It came to the point that I was agitated, close to devastated that I couldn’t see her. Just when I was about to lose all hope, I saw her silhouette amongst the crowd. The brown hat and a brown coat draped on her as she sat amongst the chairs with a blanket covering her legs and daffodils in her hand. It's her.

Nothing else mattered to me at that point, all I could think of was after 23 long months I would finally meet her. With a smile on face I rushed to her like my life depended on it…

~*~

21 months ago…

- Yonghwa’s POV -

“Annyeong Omma, Appa. I’ll come home safely,” I shouted and waved from behind the bus window. My father was hugging my mother tightly as she cried on his shoulder. Nonetheless they waved me off as the bus started on its journey.

My name is Jung Yonghwa, I’m 24 years old, nothing special. After a degree in Fine Arts and Music, and a boring and nonsensical life, I decided to go to my military service. I thought that It would be better to be done with this thing than prolong it. It’s like a weight hanging on top of your head waiting to fall. That anxiety led me to just be done with it.

With the bus making its way to the training camp, my heart felt heavy with lead, my mind worrying about what’s to come and most of all, I feel nauseated a bit. But I shook it all off and told myself.

I’m going to go through with this. I’ll be fine. I’ll continue living. I will not die.

After two hours of rough roads and lots of bumps, we finally arrived. My first thought? Dry, unforgiving and hellish place. Y-you could just feel it in the air. This place is not a place meant to live in, this place has death reeking all over it.

“ATTENTION!” A sergeant shouted. We scampered to form a wobbly line of new recruits (Right… recruits… as if we personally volunteered for this…)

“Fresh fish for the taking!” We heard from far away. I wouldn’t lie that it brought cold shivers on my back.

“You poor excuse for soldiers are not even worthy to die for your country.” The sergeant shouted. “But do not worry ladies. I will whoop all your asses into shape, good and slow.”

He chuckled menacingly and told us to follow him. What did I put myself into?

The following days were short of terrifying. We were given our gear, uniform and a small stipend for the small month. All of our personal belongings were sent back home. It would have been depressing but we did not have the luxury to feel like so. Every day, we were woken up at 5 in the morning, do our “warm up” exercise of 10 km jogging, and have a small breakfast, then training up till night (lunch on occasional days), a small dinner, then lights out at 11pm. Then the whole cycle would happen again for the next day.

I learnt how to use a rifle, how to clean it, maintain it. How to reload a magazine with bullets, how to distinguish a badly made bullet to a good one. I learnt how to use a knife and a bayonet, how to stab an enemy in the right critical places. I learnt how to use my hazmat masks, sit through tear gas, learn how to use a grenade, an artillery, to drive a truck. I learnt how to dig trenches, to set up camp in less than 5 minutes, how to over our tracks, how to apply first aid. I learnt hand to hand combat that every night bruises will cover most of my skin, a new bruise on top of an old healing bruise. And most of all I learnt how to feel and live like hell.

I felt tired mentally and physically. I was ready to give up, but the sergeant would punish the slackers to more torturous activities. So it’s either you do it now or do more later during the night. It went on for 5 weeks. Probably the hardest weeks of my entire life. But when it ended, the joy I felt was incomparable to anything I have felt before. We were finally being going to be based off somewhere.

But that joy was short spent.

When I received my papers to where I will be sent, my heart sank and cold shivers ran through my spine.

“Se-Sergeant, is this true?” I asked with horror etched in my eyes.

He glared at me and semi-shouted, “You have your duty to follow orders without question! This is an order from the higher echelons in the army. The best of the recruits will be sent there! No Exceptions!”

Despite of the unannounced compliment I just got, I still felt cold inside. As I trudged back to my camping bed, I reread the paper.

Private Jung Yonghwa will be based in the Mountainous range in eastern Korea,

along the Armistice Line.

T-that place brings the worst stories amongst the soldiers here in the training camp. The stories were all about death. Yes of people dying. It was the source of all horror stories during our 5 weeks here. Do I believe those stories? Yes, yes I do. Why? Well… because it’s directly facing North Korea.

A week after that, it still felt like a dream. Like I’m in a nightmare. Even as I stood before my new sergeant, being given the run down (again) and the post where I will be watching and standing guard. I felt out of it. My mind was blank and unfocused. But slowly it dawned into me, that I’ll be spending the next 20 months here, near the face of our enemy.

I had to slap myself awake every morning, because just a single mistake, just a slight mishap that I cause could result into a full blown war between the two countries. Even though we are in a quasi-mode war at the moment, anything that can happen, will happen.

Was I scared? Hell Yeah. Enough to pee my pants? Not really, or I think so?

As the days go by, the stories that were told in the Training camp were shed some light. Most of it all was exaggerated and made up. Although when I asked, those stories could happen. But what made me scared was the worst story I hear in the Training Camp was true. A single North Korean, posing as a defector, was able to infiltrate the base, killed at least 15 soldiers in their sleep. Yeah apparently that really happened. It was covered up by the higher ups in the base as an order from the Government. The public wasn’t to know of such realities in our borders. So it was kept quiet, just whispers and murmurs in the dark.

On another note, I started feeling a bit comfortable with my station, with my fellow soldiers. Just a bit. Not a lot. That might cause me my life if a slack just a bit more.

It was there that I met a close friend, Park Sejoo. We were almost the same age, have the same degrees in Art (I majored in Music, him in filmography). When we met, we just clicked immediately. It’s like having a brother close to me. But unlike me who was scared stiff of the base, he was optimistic and easy-going. Everyone is attracted to him like moths to a fire. But he once told me that I’m going to be his best man when he marries his girlfriend.

So two months into service, I had accepted my reality in the military. And this is where the story start. Every week, our letters to our loved ones are sent on Saturday. Their reply will arrive the next Saturday if there were any replies. We weren’t allowed any electronics within the base. All there was a TV connected to the TV of the Sergeant in his room. So whatever he’s watching, we watched and he mostly watch Sports. Just sports, no news, entertainment program, dramas, no other.

So here we were in our bunk beds writing letters, well they were all writing letters but I wasn’t. I thought about it, and I decided not to. The recipient will just be my parents and I told them that I would write just once a month or two. My real brother was happily married and had a kid, I couldn’t bother him. So here I am reading a book from the small library that the base have. As I lay on my bunk bed, Sejoo popped beside my bed (he lays underneath me) and stared at me.

“Yonghwa-yah, I’ve just noticed for the past month, you just sent one letter. Why is that?” he asked.

Without looking away from the page I was at, I replied, “That was for my parents.”

“Eh?! That’s it?! No special someone waiting for you back home?” he exclaimed gathering the attention of the fellow soldiers.

“I mean I have my beautiful Yookyoung. Shin-ah has his wife waiting for him. Jungse and Myunggil had their girlfriends writing consistently since they left. Everyone here have someone waiting for them. But not you?” he continued. I ignored him and continue reading my book.

“You’re not gay right?” Jungse suddenly said.

Mortified, I threw my pillow at him and said, “Mworago?!”

He threw the pillow back at me which I caught neatly and put it on my back. “Well what’s the reason you came here? If it’s not a girl, then a guy maybe?”

“Yah! I’m not gay. I-I just-“ I started but he cut me off.

“You’re just saying that but we’ll still accept you, you know?” Sejoo said. They all laughed merrily at me while I feel hot inside.

“How many times do I say that I’m not freaking gay?!” I exclaimed.

“Then what’s the reason for you to wake up in the morning? Mine is my lovely wife and son, Mirae and Donggun. What’s yours?” Shin said.

“I-I have someone okay?!” I blurted out. Cold sweat were running on my back. I-I just lied to everyone here.

“Well why didn’t you say so?” Sejoo said. “What’s her name?”

“U-um J-Joohyun,” I blurted the first name that popped in my head.

“Well what’s the problem with Joohyun? Why aren’t you writing to her?” Sejoo asked.

“Is it because she doesn’t exist?” Myunggil stated and they all laughed at me again.

“She exist okay?! Now back off. If you want me to write a letter, fine. I’ll write a letter,” I exclaimed. I threw my book beside me, grabbed some paper and a pen, and I started writing just to keep up the lie. Aish cheongmal…

When I finished the letter to “Joohyun”. Sejoo snatched the paper and read it out loud to my embarrassment.

“Dear Joohyun,” he said it his DJ voice. “How have you been? How was your vacation with your parents to New Zealand? You would probably receive this when you come back but I just want you to know that….”

Sejoo kept on reading the letter but unbeknownst to them I was writing a new letter.

Dear Sir/Madam,

                I am very sorry for the content of the first letter. My fellow soldiers had forced me to write to my significant other which currently does not exist, not yet I hope. If you could kindly ignore the following letters that will be sent to you, I would appreciate that very much. I see myself being questioned about this in the next few weeks and I know I would write more letters just to keep them off my back.

                Again I deeply apologize for this and I appreciate you taking time to read this.

Sincerely,

Private Jung Yonghwa.

I wrote that letter because I felt guilty to the unlucky recipient of the letter. And out of common courtesy I poured my heart to ask for his or her forgiveness as I put a random address in Seoul. God willing, it wouldn’t exist but you know, just in case it did, I better apologize.

Sejoo and the guys had their eyes fixated on me as I dropped the letter to be sent and they rejoiced that I did, crackling laughter at the joke that Joohyun does not exist. I punched them a few times due to my annoyance. I got a few back at me kekeke, boys will be boys I guess.

That went on for three weeks. They kept on asking how she’s doing, what had she been doing, does she still exist, was it unrequited love, and such. It was all because she (or he) did not reply to my letters. I was content at that but the pressure these guys put on me on a daily basis started to gnaw at me. I mean come on, why wouldn’t they just back off? At first I wanted to give up and tell them the truth, but then they would continue teasing me and I will get pissed and kept on lying. But that all ended on the Saturday of the third week.

“Letters are here.” The mail was distributed and as usual I was on my bed reading a book when a letter was dropped on my chest. I put the book down and nonchalantly opened the letter, expecting that it was from my parents. But when I read that letter. Oh. My. God.

The letter was then snatched from my hands and I shouted, “Yah! Sejoo-yah give me back my letter!” I started fighting for my letter but by then, everyone was passing the letter around, being read aloud.

Dear Yonghwa,

                New Zealand was great! My parent’s and I had fun. When you come back, let’s go together. The grass, the hills, the sheep, the people, the atmosphere, the sky, everything was beyond perfect. I’m sorry I haven’t replied to your letters, omma and appa decided to stay longer in New Zealand. You know appa, he’ll find an excuse to stay in a place just to help soothe his back. Kekeke

                Anyway, we returned two week ago and pabo-yah. You forgot that I don’t live with my parents anymore, I have a new place (Check the envelope pabo-yah). Aigoo, my Yong so forgetfull. I’m sorry for writing late for 3 weeks >_<

                Tell me everything okay? I’ll always be here with you.

Love,

Joohyun.

Everyone was shouting and screaming at the disbelief of Joohyun being real. Heck even I was shocked but I kept in in. it felt surreal! This person went along with my lie. She (or he) might be crazy but I was thankful at the least.

“Now back off. She’s real okay? Now give me my letter back,” I shouted with authority. Sejoo gave me back my letter with a soft smile and I smiled back.

I reread the letter over and over again just to be sure that it was real. When I checked the envelope for the new address, there was a small paper still inside. Checking that no one is looking at me, I opened it with care.

Hi Yonghwa-ssi.

How was it? Did they buy it?

I hope they did. This is a small gratitude for your service from us citizens.

Joohyun

PS. That’s my real name. Kekeke. What are the odds, right? Kekeke

I-I don’t know what I’m feeling right now… I feel happy and weird for some unknown reason. I felt like I was struck by lightning, like I was supposed to feel something, or remember something important. I-I can’t put into words properly but what I could think about was… her... Joohyun…

I wrote my reply but since this time the guys ought to have believe Joohyun is real, left me alone. I wrote my reply comfortably.

Dear Joohyun-ssi,

I don’t know how to thank you enough. The guys believed that you were real, heck even I believe you are real Kekeke. Actually I didn’t even realize that this address was real, I wrote some believable address in Seoul and a name that pop in my head. And yet here you are, real.

I can’t believe how this happen but I am thankful that it did, that I met you Joohyun-ssi.

Yonghwa.

PS. I feel like I’m taking much of your time, it’s alright if you want to stop…

That was my reply. A part of me wanted to scratch out the last part but I didn’t want to be a burden to her (yeah it’s confirmed. It’s a SHE!!!) and I sent it as it is. I felt nervous and hesitant on sending that letter but I forced my hand to drop that letter into the box.

For the rest of week, I was miserable and anxious. Negative thoughts clouded my head. She’s not going to reply. You scared her off. You’re a ert. You have no right to feel left out. You’re not even worthy of talking to someone like her… I felt like a teenager who just confessed and worrying about whether she will write back or not. I wanted to slap myself awake, like who was I to her, right? A stranger. Not like I was someone who could be blessed with her letter twice…

Such thoughts were the summary of my week. And when Saturday arrived, man I was sweating bullets. I fidgeted on my bed waiting for the mail to come. With my fingers crossed and my eyes shut, I prayed that a letter would be dropped in front of me.

Dugun dugun.

A soft pressure beside me brought me out of my prayer and sure enough a letter enclosed with the same type of envelope as before was beside me. Wasting no time, I opened the letter.

Dear Yonghwa-ssi,

Aniyo, it’s fine for me. To be honest, I find the whole setup so endearing. Like a novel that I have read before and want to relive it. It’s so enlightening to say the least.

It too was a surprise to get an anonymous letter wrote in a romantic way. My unnies and I were shocked to say the least but I wouldn’t lie that it was a pleasant surprise.

Anyway, tell me about yourself Yonghwa-ssi? Or should I could you Oppa? Kekeke Mwollayo.

Looking forward to hear from you Oppa,

Joohyun.

PS. I’m 22 years old so that could be your basis :)

I couldn’t help but smile widely at what I just read. All my worries were for nothing. I feel unbelievably happy and ecstatic. I quickly grabbed a paper and a pen for my reply.

Dear Joohyun,

Ahh so I’m your Oppa. Kekeke I’m 24 right now. But I’m not going to force you to call me oppa if you’re uncomfortable with it. You can just call me Yonghwa. Heck even if you call me Yong I’ll be fine with it. ;)

Well if you want to know about me, I am pretty much an average Busan guy. Although I did graduate on Fine Arts and Music. I have a hyung, married and have a kid that I love to bits. My parents are in Busan taking care of their business and yeah I think that’s pretty much about it.

What about you? Tell me about yourself Joohyun.

Yonghwa.

Dear Yong Oppa,

See what I did there? Kekeke.

I always wanted to have a niece or a nephew but sadly I’m an only child.

My parents are from Seoul, as did my grandparents were so Seoul is my home. Appa works while uri Omma stays at home. Come to think of it even my Mom and Dad didn’t have any siblings. It’s lonely sometimes but I know my parents love me to bits. But I have 8 other unnies that love me like a real sister so I have that going for me.

Actually these “unnies” of mine are looking over my shoulder as I write this letter.

(That explains why the letter is a bit crumpled.)

So what do you do for fun?

Joohyun.

Dear Hyun,

Since you’re calling me Yong, I’ll call you Hyun. Kekeke (That is if it’s fine with you…)

Me for fun? Music is my life. Whenever I get bored, I would play around with my guitar, maybe compose a song or two. But since I am in the army, I wasn’t allowed to carry my guitar so I’m stuck here playing basketball or training all day long. But I also like to read. If I was given a chance I would have liked to read about music but our library have no diversity in such genres. Tough luck…

What about you? Any hobbies?

Yong.

PS. To Hyun’s Unnies. Annyeonghasaeyo. I hope that I’m not bothering Joohyun too much.

Dear Yong Oppa,

My unnies says hi. Well… “Hi” is an understatement. My ears are still ringing from all the shouting and screaming from their glee when they saw that you said hi. Aish Cheongmal…

Anyway like you, I love to read books of self-improvement. I believe that a person could strive to improve him or herself mentally and emotionally through books. Although other genres never really captured my liking. Any recommendations?

Hyun

PS. “Hyun” is perfect.

Dear Hyun,

You could try……

…..

…..

That was the start. A start that I never thought would be granted to me. To think back, I never really thought on how many things could have gone wrong and I wouldn’t have been able to talk to her. Sejoo might not have teased me on that day. What if I didn’t lie? What if my friends didn’t tease me on that day? What if I wrote the wrong address? What if I wrote a different name? What ifs… Countless of them. But I was eternally grateful that everything matched on that fateful day. I get to know a beautiful person. Joohyun.

We talked a lot of things, my life here, my friends, how I wished what I could be doing right now if I wasn’t in the army, my hopes and my dreams. We talked about her, her likes and dislikes, her family, her multitude of “unnies” and more. Even though they were vague information, I hungered to know more of her. And she would laugh (or I hope she did. She did write “kekeke”) about my antics, and it will bring a smile to my face. And it would feel amazing to me, like a perfect harmony of vanilla and strawberry ice cream, like the most perfect weather to a perfect day. The tranquility that I felt everytime I receive a letter from her showed according to Sejoo.

One day I was sitting down in the courtyard reading her letter over and over again. A hand patted me on the shoulder brought me out of my thoughts. I frantically covered the letter in hopes that the person did not see a thing. Call me a kid or what but those letters are mine and mine alone. Before, I would have done it to secure the basis of the lie I made, but now… it’s different…

I heard a chuckle behind me and it made me arch an eyebrow at the recipient.

“Aigoo Yonghwa-yah. Arasseo I won’t look,” Sejoo said as he sat beside me.

As I put the letter in my pocket I asked, “What’s up?”

“Nothing really, you just seemed different. Ever since you got letters from Joohyun you seemed different.” He said as he calmly looked at the bright blue sky.

“Eh? Jinjja?” I asked incredulously.

He smiled lightly at me and said, “You seemed… I don’t know… so in love I guess?”

“Bwuoya,” I chuckled as I lightly punched him on the shoulder which he winced at.

“Nah I’m just kidding,” he said while laughing at my expression. “You’re calmer now, social and… peaceful… yeah that’s the word I’m looking for.”

He left soon saying about the game that we’re having later but I wasn’t listening. Have I changed really? Just because of one girl? Can a man really change? I know all the music and literature about romance would suggest so but will that also apply to me? I don’t know…

But, surprisingly it did.

It was more than a year, just 10 months left on my service that I noticed the change in me, a change that I didn’t expect, a change I totally and whole-heartedly accept. I fell in love with her. Simple. Was it more than enough to fall in love to a person who I have never met? A person who I’ve only talked to in letters? Totally.

I’m not sure how, or when? But as each week, with nonstop letters being sent and received, I slowly and surely fell in love with her. Maybe it was how she put her thoughts into words? Maybe it was her handwriting (sometimes it was typed but even then, I knew it was her)? Maybe… but I know I fell for her. Even though we haven’t sent pictures of each other, even though we haven’t spoken through the phone, even though countless of times I have asked her to visit me, during the available days and yet she didn’t, even then, I am irrevocably and inexplicably in love with her. I knew I love her whenever Saturday comes, I would be excited and eager to read her letter. I would dream of her with a white veil covering her face, standing at the altar. My thoughts keep on wondering on what she would be doing at the moment. I would sometimes think of her during meals if ad she eaten properly. And so on and on. What other explanation could explain other than I have fallen for her. Bad.

So on that day, I wrote to her:

Dear Joohyun,

People have come and gone, Sejoo-yah has just finished his service and have went back to his Yookyoung and I sometimes feel alone. My bestfriend, my brother, have left me alone. He told me that I’ll get by, that I will manage and that he will be waiting for me to be his bestman on his wedding. But still, sometimes I feel alone.

But I have something to look forward to at the end of each week. Your letters are a stable to my being, they keep me sane, they keep me happy and most of all, they made me fall for you.

Joohyun, I love you. It’s true. This I can swear on my heart and on my life. I love you.

Looking forward to hear from you nae sarangha,

Yong Oppa.

Annyeong :)

To be honest, this was supposed to be finished last year but things happened.. hehe but atleast i have a reason to finish it now.

See you in the next chapter!

♦♥Pokerman♣♠

"Bright as Morning Snow"